The hard road
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever figure life out. I have spent so much of my time isolating people and running away from problems, and frankly, I'm ashamed of myself. I am truly sad these days, I've been so lost for so long. I found out this weekend that I'm horribly upset by the fact that Jo has a new girlfriend. I really want to be happy for him, he is my best friend, and all I could find in my heart to do was be miserable; to mourn all that had been lost, all because of me.
Last night I broke down entirely. It was good that I had my best friends along to help me, and who can ask for more than that? But this morning, I'm still not doing any better, and I feel like I will never happy again, to be honest. My plan is to work very hard on getting to a point where I can be happy for Jo and to not be a selfish prat. I don't want to lose our friendship in addition to everything else.
I have a good job now. I have a cuddly cat, a pleasant apartment. I even managed to find a decent sweater yesterday. Please someone tell me what does it take, because I feel like giving up. I'm always learning the hardest way possible.