Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Name: Copperbadge Drabble
Pairing: None
Genre: Humor
Summary: A short story about Professor Snape, Madam Pomfrey and
copperbadge 's myriad of health problems.
Poppy looked up from the sneezing Hufflepuff to discover that Severus was standing in her doorway. Looking agitated. With a swollen eye. Which meant he was definitely there as a patient. She winced.
Severus was not a pleasant person, and he was by far the worst when he was sick. He complained, and groaned, and exaggerated, and often threw things. Generally he treated himself with a myriad of homemade potions, claiming that hers weren't good enough. Which was fine with her, really, as it kept him out of her hospital. In fact, she hadn't had to treat him once all term, and had been hoping to escape the year without suffering his unique brand of whining. Alas, no such luck.
"What's the matter, Severus?"
"My eye, obviously."
She rolled her eyes and patted the Hufflepuff on the head. A long time ago she had made the mistake of treating a student while Severus waited, and was forced to listen to him carry on for hours that he had nearly bled to death during said wait.
"Yes, Severus. But what, exactly, is wrong with it?"
"It's going to fall out!"
She resisted the urge to smack him, and instead shoved her wand in his face. A few diagnostic spells revealed him to be grossly exaggerating. "It's just a pimple under the skin."
"Don't be daft, woman! This is not a pimple. It's going to fall out, I tell you!"
"It's a pimple, Severus." The Hufflepuff in the corner faked a coughing fit to cover his laughter, while she waited for Severus to stop twitching.
Finally, he shouted, "Well? Are you going to fix it or not? I have classes to attend to, Poppy."
She sighed, and prepared for the histrionics. "I'll have to lance it." Instead of screaming, however, Severus went several shades of white. Poppy watched with vast amusement as his mouth flapped open and shut, only to pronounce a whimper. And then another whimper. And then Severus Snape, vile Potions Master, bane of students, and ex-Death Eater, fled.
With a smirk, she turned to the grinning Hufflepuff. "If you think that's bad, you should have seen it when Albus thought he had leprosy."