OC Fic : Twelve Things That Never Happened to Ryan Atwood, 4b
Title : Twelve Things That Never Happened to Ryan Atwood
Author : Helen C.
Rating : PG-13
Summary : Twelve things that never happened to Ryan. D'uh.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN. Many thanks to the awesome joey51 for beta'ing this!
Part Two
Week #1
"Oh my God," Kirsten says, her hand flying to her mouth.
Ryan stands on the porch, head down. His greasy hair is hanging in his face, he's hunched over, his bruised arms wrapped around himself, but that's not what shocks her the most. He must have lost at least twenty pounds, if not more, since the last time she saw him. He looks sick and exhausted, at the very end of his strength.
She reaches out to him, careful of his reaction, and when he doesn't step back, she takes him in her arms. He stiffens as she hugs him but she doesn't allow it to stop her. He smells like he hasn't showered in weeks, but she doesn't let that stop her either. She hangs on until she feels him relax minutely, then lets go of him and tries to smile. "Let's get inside," she says.
He follows her without a word.
***
"He's malnourished, slightly dehydrated, bruised all over and in dire need of a shower," Alicia says when she emerges from the guest room where she examined Ryan. "There are also a few cuts on his back. I'll write you a prescription for vitamins, and for some antibiotic cream to put on them."
Kirsten nods, Sandy's arm on her waist a welcome support.
"He hasn't said a word, hasn't communicated at all," Alicia adds. "And there's not much I can do about that. I'll give you the number of some counselors in the area. See if that helps."
"We will," Sandy replies.
Assuming Social Services allows Ryan to stay here with them.
Assuming Dawn doesn't come back to claim Ryan for herself again.
Assuming-
Kirsten stops that train of thought.
She won't let anything stand in her way again. Ryan trusted them enough to come back here, and he will remain in their care. She will see to it.
***
Week #2
"Dude, I know you were never much with words, but this is bringing things to a whole new level," Seth says in a futile attempt at lighting the mood.
Ryan keeps staring at the kitchen counter. If Sandy hadn't been looking for it, he would have missed it, but here it is. A shrug-barely noticeable, but still there.
It's the first real attempt at communicating on Ryan's part since he came back, the first sign that he's still there. Sandy refuses to see it as a huge victory, but can't help some rejoicing.
Ryan barely eats, doesn't say a word (though he wakes up screaming every night, refusing to allow anyone to touch him or to comfort him when they rush to him), doesn't respond at all when they speak to him. He obeys them when they tell him to sit, to take a shower, or to eat, but that's about it.
Sandy called a therapist to ask for his opinion, but he hung up when the guy started talking about in-patient facilities.
Ryan needs familiarity and comfort more than he needs strangers forcing him out of his shell.
Ryan needs them and they'll be here for him.
***
Week #3
"I don't know, Sandy…" Sandra starts.
Sandy waits for the social worker to get to the heart of the problem, gearing up for the battle he knows is coming.
"We wouldn't be able to find another placement anyway, but maybe a more specialized facility would be best, at least until Ryan's better."
Ryan keeps staring ahead but Sandy thinks he can see him tensing up. He's sure that the kid is as aware of what's happening around him as he has ever been. He has just stopped trying to belong to the world for now.
What the hell happened to you, Ryan? Sandy wonders. He hasn't even tried to push for answers yet. Dealing with Ryan these days is like treading on paper thin ice. Or better yet, walking through a landmine field; it's all a matter of avoiding the mines while still getting through.
They shouldn't have taken Ryan to this meeting. The kid doesn't need to hear this, and it's not like he's in any shape to do anything about it. Sandy has the feeling that breathing is hard enough work for him.
Sandra stares at Ryan, waiting for his reaction, then back at Sandy when it becomes clear that Ryan won't say anything. "I don't know, Sandy," she repeats.
"He came to our place," Sandy points out. He came to our place, he allowed Kirsten to hug him, allowed us to call a doctor, then he fell asleep and he didn't move for the next forty hours. The doctor who examined him thinks he probably walked for a few days straight. "You know us. You know we'll do all we can to help him."
Sandra nods, closing her eyes. She's the one who fought so that Ryan would be allowed to stay in Newport when Dawn left. She's the one who trusted the Cohens and Ryan to make it work once.
"Okay," she says, giving them the other chance they need. "Okay."
***
Week #5
"At the very least, some antidepressants would be advisable," the therapist says.
Ryan doesn't react in words, but in the past weeks, all the Cohens have grown accustomed to reading his body language.
The way he seems to shrink in his seat now, the textbook picture of defensiveness, has Kirsten shaking her head. "Not yet," she says, firmly. She keeps her eyes on Ryan to make sure she's reading him well, relieved when she sees him straightening up ever so little. "Maybe later, if he agrees. But not yet."
The doctor doesn't look too happy about that, but then she doesn't look too happy about Ryan, period. The fact that Ryan doesn't say a word, doesn't even shake or nod his head when spoken to, must make things impossible for her.
Too bad.
Considering what they pay her, she can find a way to deal with her discomfort.
On the way back home, Kirsten says, "We'll try another doctor, if you're not happy with this one."
Ryan doesn't really react, but the tension in the car seems to decrease.
They may not get Ryan perfectly well yet, but they're slowly getting there. They'll encourage him to speak, but until he's ready, they can adjust to his silence.
***
Week #11
"What the hell happened to you, bro?" Trey snaps, half an hour after being released from jail.
Ryan doesn't reply-not that Sandy expected him to.
Ryan still hasn't tried to talk to anyone. They tried to hire a tutor for him, but he also refuses to write to communicate. He reads a lot, though-Seth's school books, novels, comics, anything he can get his hands on.
He doesn't watch TV at all, refuses to go to the movies, half-heartedly plays games with Seth, when pushed.
He runs every day, uses Sandy's old punching bag every other day, lifts weights once a week, swims whenever he can.
And he doesn’t speak at all.
Trey seems to grow increasingly frustrated with Ryan. Sandy's about to step in, but then he thinks better of it. Maybe seeing his brother is what Ryan needs?
"Hey!" Trey insists, taking Ryan's arm. He doesn't squeeze it, barely touches it at all. He has that much sense, then. "What happened to you?"
Ryan raises his head and meets his brother's eyes-something he has yet to do with any of the Cohens. Trey pales and all but takes a step back at whatever he sees there.
He turns to Sandy. "What the hell?"
"We don't know," Sandy says. Needlessly, he adds, "He won't say."
***
Week #13
"The police found Dawn Atwood's body, buried in a waste ground near Reno," the police officer says after Sandy tells him to sit.
Sandy shoots a look at Ryan, who keeps staring at his feet, fists clenched. What happened to you, kid?
"She's been dead for about three months," the cop adds, softly enough that Ryan won't hear. "The identification was difficult."
Sandy grimaces.
"Seems that she was beaten and stabbed to death," the cop adds. He looks insistently at Ryan.
"You won't talk to him without me present," Sandy says in his best professional voice. "And as I'm sure you already know, he doesn't speak."
The cop nods, unimpressed. Sandy sits besides Ryan, puts a hand on his shoulder, and allows the cop to ask his questions, unsurprised when Ryan stares down like he doesn't even hear that someone is speaking to him.
The cop leaves fifteen minutes later, looking disturbed. "Call us if he…" he starts, gesturing vaguely in Ryan's direction.
"We will," Sandy replies. Don't hold your breath for that to happen any time soon, though, he thinks but doesn't say.
***
Week #15
"It's okay, sweetie, you're safe," Kirsten chants, stroking his hair.
Ryan keeps his eyes squeezed shut, forcing his mind to focus on the soft touch and not on the
- blood
- screams
- blood
- yells
- cold
- blood, blood, blood
behind his eyelids.
Someone is whimpering like a hurt animal nearby.
Someone is talking, somewhere above him-a deep, comforting voice.
He's shivering-cold-and when he takes in a shaky breath, the whimpering stops.
"It's okay," Kirsten says again.
Ryan opens his eyes, focuses on her pants-the only part of her he can see from this position-noting the quality fabric, the pink color, the smooth texture.
He's naked on the floor, and wet, and someone threw a towel on him to cover him at some point.
"What happened?" Seth asks from the doorway.
No one replies.
Kirsten keeps stroking Ryan's hair, a warm hand (Sandy's?) comes to rest on his shoulder, and Ryan draws whatever comfort he can from them.
It's a long time before he stops shaking.
Part Three
Author : Helen C.
Rating : PG-13
Summary : Twelve things that never happened to Ryan. D'uh.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN. Many thanks to the awesome joey51 for beta'ing this!
Part Two
Week #1
"Oh my God," Kirsten says, her hand flying to her mouth.
Ryan stands on the porch, head down. His greasy hair is hanging in his face, he's hunched over, his bruised arms wrapped around himself, but that's not what shocks her the most. He must have lost at least twenty pounds, if not more, since the last time she saw him. He looks sick and exhausted, at the very end of his strength.
She reaches out to him, careful of his reaction, and when he doesn't step back, she takes him in her arms. He stiffens as she hugs him but she doesn't allow it to stop her. He smells like he hasn't showered in weeks, but she doesn't let that stop her either. She hangs on until she feels him relax minutely, then lets go of him and tries to smile. "Let's get inside," she says.
He follows her without a word.
***
"He's malnourished, slightly dehydrated, bruised all over and in dire need of a shower," Alicia says when she emerges from the guest room where she examined Ryan. "There are also a few cuts on his back. I'll write you a prescription for vitamins, and for some antibiotic cream to put on them."
Kirsten nods, Sandy's arm on her waist a welcome support.
"He hasn't said a word, hasn't communicated at all," Alicia adds. "And there's not much I can do about that. I'll give you the number of some counselors in the area. See if that helps."
"We will," Sandy replies.
Assuming Social Services allows Ryan to stay here with them.
Assuming Dawn doesn't come back to claim Ryan for herself again.
Assuming-
Kirsten stops that train of thought.
She won't let anything stand in her way again. Ryan trusted them enough to come back here, and he will remain in their care. She will see to it.
***
Week #2
"Dude, I know you were never much with words, but this is bringing things to a whole new level," Seth says in a futile attempt at lighting the mood.
Ryan keeps staring at the kitchen counter. If Sandy hadn't been looking for it, he would have missed it, but here it is. A shrug-barely noticeable, but still there.
It's the first real attempt at communicating on Ryan's part since he came back, the first sign that he's still there. Sandy refuses to see it as a huge victory, but can't help some rejoicing.
Ryan barely eats, doesn't say a word (though he wakes up screaming every night, refusing to allow anyone to touch him or to comfort him when they rush to him), doesn't respond at all when they speak to him. He obeys them when they tell him to sit, to take a shower, or to eat, but that's about it.
Sandy called a therapist to ask for his opinion, but he hung up when the guy started talking about in-patient facilities.
Ryan needs familiarity and comfort more than he needs strangers forcing him out of his shell.
Ryan needs them and they'll be here for him.
***
Week #3
"I don't know, Sandy…" Sandra starts.
Sandy waits for the social worker to get to the heart of the problem, gearing up for the battle he knows is coming.
"We wouldn't be able to find another placement anyway, but maybe a more specialized facility would be best, at least until Ryan's better."
Ryan keeps staring ahead but Sandy thinks he can see him tensing up. He's sure that the kid is as aware of what's happening around him as he has ever been. He has just stopped trying to belong to the world for now.
What the hell happened to you, Ryan? Sandy wonders. He hasn't even tried to push for answers yet. Dealing with Ryan these days is like treading on paper thin ice. Or better yet, walking through a landmine field; it's all a matter of avoiding the mines while still getting through.
They shouldn't have taken Ryan to this meeting. The kid doesn't need to hear this, and it's not like he's in any shape to do anything about it. Sandy has the feeling that breathing is hard enough work for him.
Sandra stares at Ryan, waiting for his reaction, then back at Sandy when it becomes clear that Ryan won't say anything. "I don't know, Sandy," she repeats.
"He came to our place," Sandy points out. He came to our place, he allowed Kirsten to hug him, allowed us to call a doctor, then he fell asleep and he didn't move for the next forty hours. The doctor who examined him thinks he probably walked for a few days straight. "You know us. You know we'll do all we can to help him."
Sandra nods, closing her eyes. She's the one who fought so that Ryan would be allowed to stay in Newport when Dawn left. She's the one who trusted the Cohens and Ryan to make it work once.
"Okay," she says, giving them the other chance they need. "Okay."
***
Week #5
"At the very least, some antidepressants would be advisable," the therapist says.
Ryan doesn't react in words, but in the past weeks, all the Cohens have grown accustomed to reading his body language.
The way he seems to shrink in his seat now, the textbook picture of defensiveness, has Kirsten shaking her head. "Not yet," she says, firmly. She keeps her eyes on Ryan to make sure she's reading him well, relieved when she sees him straightening up ever so little. "Maybe later, if he agrees. But not yet."
The doctor doesn't look too happy about that, but then she doesn't look too happy about Ryan, period. The fact that Ryan doesn't say a word, doesn't even shake or nod his head when spoken to, must make things impossible for her.
Too bad.
Considering what they pay her, she can find a way to deal with her discomfort.
On the way back home, Kirsten says, "We'll try another doctor, if you're not happy with this one."
Ryan doesn't really react, but the tension in the car seems to decrease.
They may not get Ryan perfectly well yet, but they're slowly getting there. They'll encourage him to speak, but until he's ready, they can adjust to his silence.
***
Week #11
"What the hell happened to you, bro?" Trey snaps, half an hour after being released from jail.
Ryan doesn't reply-not that Sandy expected him to.
Ryan still hasn't tried to talk to anyone. They tried to hire a tutor for him, but he also refuses to write to communicate. He reads a lot, though-Seth's school books, novels, comics, anything he can get his hands on.
He doesn't watch TV at all, refuses to go to the movies, half-heartedly plays games with Seth, when pushed.
He runs every day, uses Sandy's old punching bag every other day, lifts weights once a week, swims whenever he can.
And he doesn’t speak at all.
Trey seems to grow increasingly frustrated with Ryan. Sandy's about to step in, but then he thinks better of it. Maybe seeing his brother is what Ryan needs?
"Hey!" Trey insists, taking Ryan's arm. He doesn't squeeze it, barely touches it at all. He has that much sense, then. "What happened to you?"
Ryan raises his head and meets his brother's eyes-something he has yet to do with any of the Cohens. Trey pales and all but takes a step back at whatever he sees there.
He turns to Sandy. "What the hell?"
"We don't know," Sandy says. Needlessly, he adds, "He won't say."
***
Week #13
"The police found Dawn Atwood's body, buried in a waste ground near Reno," the police officer says after Sandy tells him to sit.
Sandy shoots a look at Ryan, who keeps staring at his feet, fists clenched. What happened to you, kid?
"She's been dead for about three months," the cop adds, softly enough that Ryan won't hear. "The identification was difficult."
Sandy grimaces.
"Seems that she was beaten and stabbed to death," the cop adds. He looks insistently at Ryan.
"You won't talk to him without me present," Sandy says in his best professional voice. "And as I'm sure you already know, he doesn't speak."
The cop nods, unimpressed. Sandy sits besides Ryan, puts a hand on his shoulder, and allows the cop to ask his questions, unsurprised when Ryan stares down like he doesn't even hear that someone is speaking to him.
The cop leaves fifteen minutes later, looking disturbed. "Call us if he…" he starts, gesturing vaguely in Ryan's direction.
"We will," Sandy replies. Don't hold your breath for that to happen any time soon, though, he thinks but doesn't say.
***
Week #15
"It's okay, sweetie, you're safe," Kirsten chants, stroking his hair.
Ryan keeps his eyes squeezed shut, forcing his mind to focus on the soft touch and not on the
- blood
- screams
- blood
- yells
- cold
- blood, blood, blood
behind his eyelids.
Someone is whimpering like a hurt animal nearby.
Someone is talking, somewhere above him-a deep, comforting voice.
He's shivering-cold-and when he takes in a shaky breath, the whimpering stops.
"It's okay," Kirsten says again.
Ryan opens his eyes, focuses on her pants-the only part of her he can see from this position-noting the quality fabric, the pink color, the smooth texture.
He's naked on the floor, and wet, and someone threw a towel on him to cover him at some point.
"What happened?" Seth asks from the doorway.
No one replies.
Kirsten keeps stroking Ryan's hair, a warm hand (Sandy's?) comes to rest on his shoulder, and Ryan draws whatever comfort he can from them.
It's a long time before he stops shaking.
Part Three