OC Fic : Fork In The Road (3/9)
Title : Fork In The Road
Author : Helen C.
Rating : R (M)
Summary : AU. Dawn never left in the Pilot, and Ryan came back to Chino for a while. Years later, he and Seth meet in Los Angeles.
Spoilers : Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
joey51 stayed up until some ungodly hour in the night to beta this, and that's one of the many reasons why she's the best beta ever. :) Thanks, Joey!
Chapter 3
Because he can't afford to get into trouble with the police, Ryan avoids stealing money once he has left Chino.
In the first days, every single uniform he sees makes him break into a cold sweat. Certainly, a warrant has been issued by now -- he didn't go back to school, so his PO has most definitely been called.
Ryan stops shaving, hoping it'll change his appearance and make him look older. Besides, that way, it's one expense he doesn't have to worry about, and every cent is worth saving.
He never stays in one place more than a week. He works in diners, in farms sometimes, in garages, on construction sites.
He sleeps in cheap motels or on the streets, but he avoids shelters -- if people are looking for him, they'll certainly check those.
Life is grim, and Ryan is more than a little scared. He keeps expecting someone to yell "You're a fugitive!" He keeps expecting to be found out, to be dragged back to Chino, to juvie, or to foster care.
He doesn't know which possibility scares him the most.
At this point, Ryan is just trying to survive, and he's exhausted by the effort.
He spends his days working himself into a stupor, or watching the scenery through bus windows when he moves from one town to the next.
He spends his nights wondering what else he could have done, and coming up with nothing, and wondering whether Dawn even noticed that he's gone.
Wondering if she misses him.
Wondering if she'd take him back if he asked.
He doesn't call her though.
He doesn't want to know, doesn't think he could stand the hurt, if she told him, again, that she doesn't want him anymore.
***
Seth looks at his father, trying to school his face into indifference.
"So, that's it?"
His father sighs. He looks tired and worried, and he has looked that way ever since Ryan disappeared, weeks ago. "They're not calling off the search," he replies. "But Ryan's case isn't considered a high-priority case anymore."
"Yeah," Seth snaps, his tone dripping sarcasm. "Because sixteen-year-olds often disappear from their home never to be seen again. Especially when they have a junkie mom."
"Seth…"
"Come on, Dad!" he yells. He wasn't prone to yelling, before. Now, he just doesn't care about politeness anymore. "You know what his life was like there. Don't tell me you don't think one of Dawn's boyfriends went too far, and Ryan just took off -- and that's the best case scenario."
His father looks down, defeated. Seth knows he's acting like a spoiled brat. This is hard on his dad too, because he tried so hard to help Ryan, and in the end, it seems it was all useless. Ryan's missing, and the police aren't optimistic.
Of course, the police also think that Ryan took off because he violated his probation, but as far as Seth's concerned, that's just bullshit. Ryan was determined to get his life back together, and the police couldn't find anything to prove that Ryan had done anything wrong.
Seth thinks Ryan took off to avoid someone's anger, but the fact that Ryan didn't call anyone is worrisome, to say the very least.
It could be mean a number of things, from "Ryan wants time alone" to "Ryan's dead and thus very much unable to call."
While none of the Cohens ever mention it, Seth knows what they all fear.
And they can't do a damn thing about it, except wait.
***
Three months after he left Chino, Ryan reaches Austin. He has a sprained wrist from a bad fall he took two days ago, a four-day stubble and a backpack containing the bare necessities he bought with stolen money before he left Chino -- a toothbrush, seven pairs of boxers, one pair of jeans and three T-shirts. Soap and toothpaste.
Ryan travels light.
His hair looks funny because he cut it himself in the washroom of a gas station where he worked for two days, with scissors he borrowed from the owner's wife. That was ten days ago, and people were starting to look at him suspiciously when he asked them for a job. Besides, the bangs falling into his eyes while he was working were becoming damn annoying.
Talk about roughing it, Ryan thinks.
Once in Austin, he finds a garage where they need a mechanic for a few days, while one of their employees is busy nursing a newborn baby. Ryan works all day and spends his evenings looking through the phone book, searching for Michael, and praying that he didn't travel all this way for nothing.
***
At the end of the second day, Ryan has an address and his stomach is painfully tied up. He tries not to hope too much. He keeps telling himself that it will be okay if Michael has forgotten him.
He's not very successful at convincing himself.
As he nears the house he's looking for, he spots a pregnant woman, washing the windows.
For some reason, that woman makes Ryan want to turn the other way and run as fast as he can, and never turn back.
Whatever possessed him to come here?
He has spent the last weeks trying to convince himself that he had done the right choice. He had reached the proverbial fork in the road -- faced with several options, he had chosen one and had hoped it was right the one.
Now that he's here, he can tell he was wrong.
Obviously, Michael has made a life for himself here. Ryan is just a troublesome teenager, with nothing to call his own but a used backpack and a lot of emotional baggage.
He should have stayed in California.
He had friends there -- friends who couldn't take him in for the night, friends he didn't even bother to call anymore when he needed help.
He had a family there -- a family that didn't want him anymore.
He could have done something there -- ended up in jail. Or dead at AJ's fists.
If he'd stayed in California, he wouldn't be standing in front of a house like an idiot, too scared to move one way or the other.
He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't notice the man approaching him until it's too late.
"What do you want?" the man asks, wary. Ryan recognizes Michael immediately -- his raven dark hair, his deep brown eyes, his caring, fatherly look.
And of course, Ryan looks suspect. He notices then that the woman has stopped what she was doing and is watching him.
He focuses on Michael and smiles. "Nothing," he says. "I'll just -- "
"Ryan?" Michael cuts him off. "Is it… Ryan Atwood?"
Ryan can't decide whether the voice sounds welcoming or not, but it doesn't matter anymore. He has already made a decision. He'll leave, and go on like he did during the last three months. He has made it this far; certainly, he can keep doing it.
"Not Atwood anymore," he tells Michael. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry."
He turns and walks away. He hasn't taken more than five steps when Michael calls him back. "Wait."
And for some reason, Ryan does, and turns back to face Michael.
"Are you in trouble?"
Ryan is stumped. Is he in trouble?
His lack of answer brings a sad smile to Michael's face. "Come on," he says. "I'll buy you a drink."
Ryan hesitates.
"Ryan…"
"It's Spender now," Ryan says tightly. "Ryan Spender."
"Come on," Michael says.
Too tired to argue, Ryan follows him.
***
Seth doesn't know why he decided to leave today, and not any other day.
Sure, Summer ignored him when he greeted her in passing, but that's not any different from the usual.
Granted, Luke tripped him and he fell in front of everyone in Lit. class, but that's not new either.
A jock called him a fag but still, nothing out of the usual.
One of his teachers called on him and then couldn't remember his name.
Really, the day hasn't been worse than any other day.
Simply, it has been the last straw.
At some point between the tripping and the teacher episode, Seth has decided that he doesn't have to take this anymore.
The only friend he has ever had has vanished four months earlier. The only person who has made Seth's life bearable is probably dead.
So, time to go ahead with Operation: Sail to Tahiti.
With luck, the sand will be shinier there.
So, Seth goes home. He eats alone, his parents still at their respective offices. He packs his bags. He writes them a note. Don't worry, it's better this way.
As the sun starts to set, the Summer Breeze steers clear of the coast.
And Seth's alone.
Chapter 4
Author : Helen C.
Rating : R (M)
Summary : AU. Dawn never left in the Pilot, and Ryan came back to Chino for a while. Years later, he and Seth meet in Los Angeles.
Spoilers : Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
joey51 stayed up until some ungodly hour in the night to beta this, and that's one of the many reasons why she's the best beta ever. :) Thanks, Joey!
Chapter 3
Because he can't afford to get into trouble with the police, Ryan avoids stealing money once he has left Chino.
In the first days, every single uniform he sees makes him break into a cold sweat. Certainly, a warrant has been issued by now -- he didn't go back to school, so his PO has most definitely been called.
Ryan stops shaving, hoping it'll change his appearance and make him look older. Besides, that way, it's one expense he doesn't have to worry about, and every cent is worth saving.
He never stays in one place more than a week. He works in diners, in farms sometimes, in garages, on construction sites.
He sleeps in cheap motels or on the streets, but he avoids shelters -- if people are looking for him, they'll certainly check those.
Life is grim, and Ryan is more than a little scared. He keeps expecting someone to yell "You're a fugitive!" He keeps expecting to be found out, to be dragged back to Chino, to juvie, or to foster care.
He doesn't know which possibility scares him the most.
At this point, Ryan is just trying to survive, and he's exhausted by the effort.
He spends his days working himself into a stupor, or watching the scenery through bus windows when he moves from one town to the next.
He spends his nights wondering what else he could have done, and coming up with nothing, and wondering whether Dawn even noticed that he's gone.
Wondering if she misses him.
Wondering if she'd take him back if he asked.
He doesn't call her though.
He doesn't want to know, doesn't think he could stand the hurt, if she told him, again, that she doesn't want him anymore.
***
Seth looks at his father, trying to school his face into indifference.
"So, that's it?"
His father sighs. He looks tired and worried, and he has looked that way ever since Ryan disappeared, weeks ago. "They're not calling off the search," he replies. "But Ryan's case isn't considered a high-priority case anymore."
"Yeah," Seth snaps, his tone dripping sarcasm. "Because sixteen-year-olds often disappear from their home never to be seen again. Especially when they have a junkie mom."
"Seth…"
"Come on, Dad!" he yells. He wasn't prone to yelling, before. Now, he just doesn't care about politeness anymore. "You know what his life was like there. Don't tell me you don't think one of Dawn's boyfriends went too far, and Ryan just took off -- and that's the best case scenario."
His father looks down, defeated. Seth knows he's acting like a spoiled brat. This is hard on his dad too, because he tried so hard to help Ryan, and in the end, it seems it was all useless. Ryan's missing, and the police aren't optimistic.
Of course, the police also think that Ryan took off because he violated his probation, but as far as Seth's concerned, that's just bullshit. Ryan was determined to get his life back together, and the police couldn't find anything to prove that Ryan had done anything wrong.
Seth thinks Ryan took off to avoid someone's anger, but the fact that Ryan didn't call anyone is worrisome, to say the very least.
It could be mean a number of things, from "Ryan wants time alone" to "Ryan's dead and thus very much unable to call."
While none of the Cohens ever mention it, Seth knows what they all fear.
And they can't do a damn thing about it, except wait.
***
Three months after he left Chino, Ryan reaches Austin. He has a sprained wrist from a bad fall he took two days ago, a four-day stubble and a backpack containing the bare necessities he bought with stolen money before he left Chino -- a toothbrush, seven pairs of boxers, one pair of jeans and three T-shirts. Soap and toothpaste.
Ryan travels light.
His hair looks funny because he cut it himself in the washroom of a gas station where he worked for two days, with scissors he borrowed from the owner's wife. That was ten days ago, and people were starting to look at him suspiciously when he asked them for a job. Besides, the bangs falling into his eyes while he was working were becoming damn annoying.
Talk about roughing it, Ryan thinks.
Once in Austin, he finds a garage where they need a mechanic for a few days, while one of their employees is busy nursing a newborn baby. Ryan works all day and spends his evenings looking through the phone book, searching for Michael, and praying that he didn't travel all this way for nothing.
***
At the end of the second day, Ryan has an address and his stomach is painfully tied up. He tries not to hope too much. He keeps telling himself that it will be okay if Michael has forgotten him.
He's not very successful at convincing himself.
As he nears the house he's looking for, he spots a pregnant woman, washing the windows.
For some reason, that woman makes Ryan want to turn the other way and run as fast as he can, and never turn back.
Whatever possessed him to come here?
He has spent the last weeks trying to convince himself that he had done the right choice. He had reached the proverbial fork in the road -- faced with several options, he had chosen one and had hoped it was right the one.
Now that he's here, he can tell he was wrong.
Obviously, Michael has made a life for himself here. Ryan is just a troublesome teenager, with nothing to call his own but a used backpack and a lot of emotional baggage.
He should have stayed in California.
He had friends there -- friends who couldn't take him in for the night, friends he didn't even bother to call anymore when he needed help.
He had a family there -- a family that didn't want him anymore.
He could have done something there -- ended up in jail. Or dead at AJ's fists.
If he'd stayed in California, he wouldn't be standing in front of a house like an idiot, too scared to move one way or the other.
He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't notice the man approaching him until it's too late.
"What do you want?" the man asks, wary. Ryan recognizes Michael immediately -- his raven dark hair, his deep brown eyes, his caring, fatherly look.
And of course, Ryan looks suspect. He notices then that the woman has stopped what she was doing and is watching him.
He focuses on Michael and smiles. "Nothing," he says. "I'll just -- "
"Ryan?" Michael cuts him off. "Is it… Ryan Atwood?"
Ryan can't decide whether the voice sounds welcoming or not, but it doesn't matter anymore. He has already made a decision. He'll leave, and go on like he did during the last three months. He has made it this far; certainly, he can keep doing it.
"Not Atwood anymore," he tells Michael. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry."
He turns and walks away. He hasn't taken more than five steps when Michael calls him back. "Wait."
And for some reason, Ryan does, and turns back to face Michael.
"Are you in trouble?"
Ryan is stumped. Is he in trouble?
His lack of answer brings a sad smile to Michael's face. "Come on," he says. "I'll buy you a drink."
Ryan hesitates.
"Ryan…"
"It's Spender now," Ryan says tightly. "Ryan Spender."
"Come on," Michael says.
Too tired to argue, Ryan follows him.
***
Seth doesn't know why he decided to leave today, and not any other day.
Sure, Summer ignored him when he greeted her in passing, but that's not any different from the usual.
Granted, Luke tripped him and he fell in front of everyone in Lit. class, but that's not new either.
A jock called him a fag but still, nothing out of the usual.
One of his teachers called on him and then couldn't remember his name.
Really, the day hasn't been worse than any other day.
Simply, it has been the last straw.
At some point between the tripping and the teacher episode, Seth has decided that he doesn't have to take this anymore.
The only friend he has ever had has vanished four months earlier. The only person who has made Seth's life bearable is probably dead.
So, time to go ahead with Operation: Sail to Tahiti.
With luck, the sand will be shinier there.
So, Seth goes home. He eats alone, his parents still at their respective offices. He packs his bags. He writes them a note. Don't worry, it's better this way.
As the sun starts to set, the Summer Breeze steers clear of the coast.
And Seth's alone.
Chapter 4