BSG Fic : Long Time Coming (16/17)
Title : Long Time Coming
Author : Helen C.
Rating : PG-13
Summary : It was the only visible scar still left over by Baltar's trial, now that President Roslin was dead; Apollo's absence and the Admiral's obvious weariness.
Fandom : BSG
Spoilers : Everything aired so far is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN. Goes AU between the verdict and the Cylon attack in Crossroads II.
AN2. Eternal gratitude to joey51 for beta'ing this! As usual, I tinkered. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Chapter Fifteen
It took Lee a while to convince Cottle that he didn't need to stay in sickbay for the night. The fact that Lee wasn't military anymore and that Cottle couldn't technically order him around probably had a lot to do with the fact that the man didn't just strap him down to a bed and leave him there.
"Go take a shower while we analyze your blood," Cottle merely said. "If I'm happy with the results, you'll be free to go. Otherwise, you will be staying here for the night, and that's it." He left without giving Lee a chance to protest.
Lee took what he could get and headed to the sickbay bathroom. The shower was bliss after so much time spent in the same clothes and he enjoyed it as long as he could, resisting the urge to scrub himself raw to erase the feeling of strange hands on him. He couldn't find a razor, but considering how damn good he felt after the shower, that was almost okay. Someone had left scrubs near the sink and taken away his clothes while he was in the shower, so Lee put them on and made his way back to Cottle's office.
Sam was waiting for him there and she stood when he entered. Lee let out a breath when he saw her, finally convinced that she really was fine.
"Are you all right?" they both asked at the same time.
They smiled ruefully and Sam nodded. "Fine. Just worried sick about you."
"Right back at you," he said, drinking in the sight of her. There were fading bruises on her face and her forearms, and he assumed that the rest of her looked pretty much the same. He felt a wave of anger wash through him and he didn't try very hard to push it down.
He took her hand and pulled her toward him. Neither of them was big on public displays of affection, but the circumstances were unusual and it felt good to feel her body against his.
They stood in each other's arms until someone coughed, startling them back to the present.
"You're fine," Cottle told Lee, entering the office. "There are traces of drugs in your system, so I don't want to see you doing anything strenuous any time soon. I'd really rather keep you here for the night." Lee couldn't hide his grimace at the prospect; he couldn't imagine many things worse than having to stay here-it was too close to how he had spent the last few days, stuck on a bed at the mercy of strangers. Cottle nodded with something like sympathy in his eyes. "But provided you take it slow, I don't see any reason why you should occupy a bed here." He shot a look at Lee. "Report anything unusual, come back tomorrow around noon so we can check your blood again. Sleep."
He left without waiting for a reply. "Thanks," Lee called to the doctor's departing back.
"Weird man," Sam muttered once Cottle was out of earshot.
Lee nodded, even though Cottle's abrasive manner was the least of his worries. "Did they hurt you?"
She smiled bravely. "Bruises, cuts. It's mostly healed by now." She studied him for a moment, probably taking in the reminders of what had been done to him. "You?"
"Bruises, cuts, drugs." He shrugged. Most of the pain had faded to a distant ache; if he hadn't been bone-tired, he would have felt mostly normal.
"I was scared for you," Sam said in a low voice. "Knowing you were out there…"
"Right back at you," he said again. He considered telling her that he hadn't been alone, that he'd had Zak and Kara, and even her, to help him, but decided against it.
He probably should have felt more worried than he did at how many people lived inside him, but the truth was, it was reassuring to feel their presence. As long as they were talking to him, it meant that they were still alive, somewhat.
How many people on the Fleet were haunted by their ghosts?
"You with me?" Sam asked, nudging him gently.
"Yeah." He shook himself. "The kids?"
"I left them in the quarters your father provided for us." She looked an odd mixture of amused and incredulous as she added, "He was arriving to stay with them when I left. We both thought it would be better for them to be with someone they knew; that's why he didn't come down here."
Lee tried to picture his father playing with his kids, and failed. "How is he?"
"Fine, I think. He'll probably breathe easier when he sees you, though."
Lee nodded, taking the hint, and followed her through the once-familiar maze of hallways. Most of the military they met shot them curious looks, though some people nodded at him with a smile. A few pilots he saw regularly at the bar smiled and waved, calling, "Nice to have you back."
He smiled back, feeling even more out of place than when he had first arrived the day of the attacks, what now felt like a lifetime ago.
Sam squeezed his hand to catch his attention and nodded to a hatch.
Lee took a deep breath before entering. He and his father didn't have the best track record at being in the same room and remaining civil to each other, and their relationship had never been worse than it was now.
And yet, his father had taken care of his family, no questions asked. Lee tried not to think too hard about what it might mean, but he felt more confident about their chances at patching things up than he had before all this happened.
The scene that met him inside wasn't the one he had expected. His father was sitting, a book in hand, Laura on his knees and Mark at his side, leaning on him, reading to them in that deep voice that Lee remembered so well from his own childhood.
Then, Laura spotted him and screamed, "Daddy!" jumping to the ground and running to Lee, who bent down on one knee to hug her. He didn't feel strong enough to lift her up like he usually would have done, but before she could wonder about that, Mark was approaching and Lee was putting his free arm around his shoulder. "You all right?" he asked.
He felt his son nod against him. "We did what you told us to do," he said. "We came here."
Lee met his father's eyes over the boy's head. "I know. You did very good, both of you."
Sam broke the moment, leaning over them all. "Come on, now, kids. Your dad has to rest." They followed her without protest, leaving Lee alone with his father for the first time in over a year.
His father rose from his seat as Lee stood up and for a moment, they faced each other in silence. Lee couldn't think of anything to say. How have you been? seemed inadequate, considering the circumstances. Everything seemed inadequate, considering the circumstances.
Then, his father closed the distance between them in two steps and drew Lee into a hug, holding him tight-as tight as he had the day of the attacks.
"Are you all right, son?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
Lee nodded, returning his father's embrace with a fierceness that surprised him. "Yeah. You?"
His father pulled away and Lee reluctantly let go. He couldn't help feeling relieved when his father kept an arm on his shoulder. "Better now."
Lee smiled. So far, so good.
"Racetrack told me roughly what happened. She's with Saul, studying Nate Ellison's papers. You should get some sleep. We can deal with the rest of it tomorrow."
Lee didn't protest, just made his way to the bed, not caring that his father saw him flop down on it without even taking off his shoes.
The last thing he heard before falling asleep was his father's voice saying, "Rest, now."
*
Lee felt both wildly out of place and right at home, sitting in front of his father's desk. It paralleled their relationship nicely; things were both awkward and comfortable between them, but considering what had happened, that was to be expected. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his father until they'd had this opportunity to talk again. He just hoped neither of them would screw it up.
"Names, places for future sabotages, evidence of their whereabouts… It's certainly not all of them, but it's a huge start," his father was saying.
Lee nodded, thinking that Nate must have known, the last time they had seen each other, that his life was in danger. If only he had told someone, maybe they would have been able to protect him. Every new life lost was such a waste, such a blow for what remained of humanity.
Lee had told Tigh, his father and their head of security what little he knew; he suspected that they had already started arresting people based on the evidence.
He sighed softly. It wasn't like the Cylons needed any help kicking humans' butts. Why were these people turning on their own people, on top of it?
"Your friend keeps insisting that he wasn't involved in the sabotages," his father added. "He's been cooperative, but he claims he doesn't know much. From what he says, they threatened him so he'd help them reach you and-"
"He's not my friend," Lee threw in. He didn't want to hear any more of Scott's excuses. He didn't want to even thing about Scott again.
"Do you think he's telling the truth?"
Lee thought about the hallway, about Scott's apparent fear and reluctance.
He thought about Scott running to the gun, hot on his heels.
He thought about Scott handing him pills, asking him to trust him-and Lee trusted him, damn it!
Still, maybe Scott was telling the truth. Maybe the saboteurs had coerced him into trying to get information out of Lee. Maybe they had been convincing enough that Scott had cooperated as well as he could.
"He says he saved your life," his father said pensively. "He says they wanted to… kill you." The hesitation was barely noticeable, but Lee heard it loud and clear. "He says he convinced them to wait, convinced them to let him to deal with you."
"I don't know," Lee said. He didn't bother to add that he didn't care. Even if Scott had really saved Lee's life, he had still betrayed him-betrayed all of them. "I don't want to know."
"Did you see Cottle?" his father asked, changing tracks.
Lee nodded absently. "Yeah. He says the drugs are almost gone, and I still need to take it easy." Funny how, even though he had basically slept through the whole thing, he still felt like staying in bed for several more days.
"I miss having you around," his father said out of the blue, surprising Lee. "It hasn't been the same."
Once upon a time, Lee would have snapped, "Whose fault is it?" and left in a huff. But things had changed, and he readily admitted that his father must have been hurt when he sided with Romo. He must have seen it as another way for Lee to reject him, just like Lee interpreted his father's silence over the last year as an attempt to pretend he didn't even have a son.
"I would have thought it would do wonders for your blood pressure," he said, only half joking. Gods knew the two of them had a lot of practice at driving each other insane.
His father smiled sadly. For the first time, Lee noticed how old he looked. How long was he going to be able to lead them, to command this ship? His father was a force to be reckoned with, but he was only human. Sooner or later, he would have to slow down, if not stop completely. "It's a relief not having to send you on dangerous missions anymore and then have to wait to see if you'll live through it," he said. "But I miss having my son around."
You sure have a funny way of showing it, Dad. Once again, he blamed the Adamas' legendary stubbornness. There was no reason why they shouldn't be able to have a relationship, even if Lee wasn't a soldier anymore. "I tried!" he pointed out, his tone harsher than he would have liked. "But every time we try to talk, we end up mad at each other, and then..." And then the President died and you even stopped replying when I contacted you. Are you as tired of this as I am? How many more second chances do you think we'll have at making this work?
His father hung his head. "I know." He didn't add anything, no explanations or excuses, and that, more than anything, calmed Lee.
I'm not Zak, am I, Dad? He was the easy one and he didn't survive. You got the argumentative, pigheaded son, and you don't know what to make of him.
The thought hurt, but Lee knew that his brother had been a lot easier to like-to love-than he was; his stubbornness, his anger, his principles and his willingness to sacrifice everything to uphold them stood in the way too often.
"I missed you too," he told his father. "I want you to be part of my life, I want my kids to know their grandfather, but I'm not going to apologize for anything I did." And I won't beg either. I'm sorry. "I did what I thought was right." Just like you taught me.
He got to his feet, stiffly. "Thank you for taking care of the kids," he said. He smiled. "They adore you, you know." His father nodded, seemingly at a loss for words. "You know where to find me," he said, terrified that his father wouldn't hear the unspoken invitation. He forced himself to add, "I'd like to see you sometimes," hoping that it would be enough.
He beat a hasty retreat, heart pounding in his ears. His father's voice stopped him as he reached the hatch. "Lee?" He froze, waiting.
"Are you…?" His father trailed off, but Lee turned to look at him and saw the question in his eyes.
"Yes, Dad." I'm fine.
Epilogue
so. damn. ready. for this one to be over...
Author : Helen C.
Rating : PG-13
Summary : It was the only visible scar still left over by Baltar's trial, now that President Roslin was dead; Apollo's absence and the Admiral's obvious weariness.
Fandom : BSG
Spoilers : Everything aired so far is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN. Goes AU between the verdict and the Cylon attack in Crossroads II.
AN2. Eternal gratitude to joey51 for beta'ing this! As usual, I tinkered. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Chapter Fifteen
It took Lee a while to convince Cottle that he didn't need to stay in sickbay for the night. The fact that Lee wasn't military anymore and that Cottle couldn't technically order him around probably had a lot to do with the fact that the man didn't just strap him down to a bed and leave him there.
"Go take a shower while we analyze your blood," Cottle merely said. "If I'm happy with the results, you'll be free to go. Otherwise, you will be staying here for the night, and that's it." He left without giving Lee a chance to protest.
Lee took what he could get and headed to the sickbay bathroom. The shower was bliss after so much time spent in the same clothes and he enjoyed it as long as he could, resisting the urge to scrub himself raw to erase the feeling of strange hands on him. He couldn't find a razor, but considering how damn good he felt after the shower, that was almost okay. Someone had left scrubs near the sink and taken away his clothes while he was in the shower, so Lee put them on and made his way back to Cottle's office.
Sam was waiting for him there and she stood when he entered. Lee let out a breath when he saw her, finally convinced that she really was fine.
"Are you all right?" they both asked at the same time.
They smiled ruefully and Sam nodded. "Fine. Just worried sick about you."
"Right back at you," he said, drinking in the sight of her. There were fading bruises on her face and her forearms, and he assumed that the rest of her looked pretty much the same. He felt a wave of anger wash through him and he didn't try very hard to push it down.
He took her hand and pulled her toward him. Neither of them was big on public displays of affection, but the circumstances were unusual and it felt good to feel her body against his.
They stood in each other's arms until someone coughed, startling them back to the present.
"You're fine," Cottle told Lee, entering the office. "There are traces of drugs in your system, so I don't want to see you doing anything strenuous any time soon. I'd really rather keep you here for the night." Lee couldn't hide his grimace at the prospect; he couldn't imagine many things worse than having to stay here-it was too close to how he had spent the last few days, stuck on a bed at the mercy of strangers. Cottle nodded with something like sympathy in his eyes. "But provided you take it slow, I don't see any reason why you should occupy a bed here." He shot a look at Lee. "Report anything unusual, come back tomorrow around noon so we can check your blood again. Sleep."
He left without waiting for a reply. "Thanks," Lee called to the doctor's departing back.
"Weird man," Sam muttered once Cottle was out of earshot.
Lee nodded, even though Cottle's abrasive manner was the least of his worries. "Did they hurt you?"
She smiled bravely. "Bruises, cuts. It's mostly healed by now." She studied him for a moment, probably taking in the reminders of what had been done to him. "You?"
"Bruises, cuts, drugs." He shrugged. Most of the pain had faded to a distant ache; if he hadn't been bone-tired, he would have felt mostly normal.
"I was scared for you," Sam said in a low voice. "Knowing you were out there…"
"Right back at you," he said again. He considered telling her that he hadn't been alone, that he'd had Zak and Kara, and even her, to help him, but decided against it.
He probably should have felt more worried than he did at how many people lived inside him, but the truth was, it was reassuring to feel their presence. As long as they were talking to him, it meant that they were still alive, somewhat.
How many people on the Fleet were haunted by their ghosts?
"You with me?" Sam asked, nudging him gently.
"Yeah." He shook himself. "The kids?"
"I left them in the quarters your father provided for us." She looked an odd mixture of amused and incredulous as she added, "He was arriving to stay with them when I left. We both thought it would be better for them to be with someone they knew; that's why he didn't come down here."
Lee tried to picture his father playing with his kids, and failed. "How is he?"
"Fine, I think. He'll probably breathe easier when he sees you, though."
Lee nodded, taking the hint, and followed her through the once-familiar maze of hallways. Most of the military they met shot them curious looks, though some people nodded at him with a smile. A few pilots he saw regularly at the bar smiled and waved, calling, "Nice to have you back."
He smiled back, feeling even more out of place than when he had first arrived the day of the attacks, what now felt like a lifetime ago.
Sam squeezed his hand to catch his attention and nodded to a hatch.
Lee took a deep breath before entering. He and his father didn't have the best track record at being in the same room and remaining civil to each other, and their relationship had never been worse than it was now.
And yet, his father had taken care of his family, no questions asked. Lee tried not to think too hard about what it might mean, but he felt more confident about their chances at patching things up than he had before all this happened.
The scene that met him inside wasn't the one he had expected. His father was sitting, a book in hand, Laura on his knees and Mark at his side, leaning on him, reading to them in that deep voice that Lee remembered so well from his own childhood.
Then, Laura spotted him and screamed, "Daddy!" jumping to the ground and running to Lee, who bent down on one knee to hug her. He didn't feel strong enough to lift her up like he usually would have done, but before she could wonder about that, Mark was approaching and Lee was putting his free arm around his shoulder. "You all right?" he asked.
He felt his son nod against him. "We did what you told us to do," he said. "We came here."
Lee met his father's eyes over the boy's head. "I know. You did very good, both of you."
Sam broke the moment, leaning over them all. "Come on, now, kids. Your dad has to rest." They followed her without protest, leaving Lee alone with his father for the first time in over a year.
His father rose from his seat as Lee stood up and for a moment, they faced each other in silence. Lee couldn't think of anything to say. How have you been? seemed inadequate, considering the circumstances. Everything seemed inadequate, considering the circumstances.
Then, his father closed the distance between them in two steps and drew Lee into a hug, holding him tight-as tight as he had the day of the attacks.
"Are you all right, son?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
Lee nodded, returning his father's embrace with a fierceness that surprised him. "Yeah. You?"
His father pulled away and Lee reluctantly let go. He couldn't help feeling relieved when his father kept an arm on his shoulder. "Better now."
Lee smiled. So far, so good.
"Racetrack told me roughly what happened. She's with Saul, studying Nate Ellison's papers. You should get some sleep. We can deal with the rest of it tomorrow."
Lee didn't protest, just made his way to the bed, not caring that his father saw him flop down on it without even taking off his shoes.
The last thing he heard before falling asleep was his father's voice saying, "Rest, now."
*
Lee felt both wildly out of place and right at home, sitting in front of his father's desk. It paralleled their relationship nicely; things were both awkward and comfortable between them, but considering what had happened, that was to be expected. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his father until they'd had this opportunity to talk again. He just hoped neither of them would screw it up.
"Names, places for future sabotages, evidence of their whereabouts… It's certainly not all of them, but it's a huge start," his father was saying.
Lee nodded, thinking that Nate must have known, the last time they had seen each other, that his life was in danger. If only he had told someone, maybe they would have been able to protect him. Every new life lost was such a waste, such a blow for what remained of humanity.
Lee had told Tigh, his father and their head of security what little he knew; he suspected that they had already started arresting people based on the evidence.
He sighed softly. It wasn't like the Cylons needed any help kicking humans' butts. Why were these people turning on their own people, on top of it?
"Your friend keeps insisting that he wasn't involved in the sabotages," his father added. "He's been cooperative, but he claims he doesn't know much. From what he says, they threatened him so he'd help them reach you and-"
"He's not my friend," Lee threw in. He didn't want to hear any more of Scott's excuses. He didn't want to even thing about Scott again.
"Do you think he's telling the truth?"
Lee thought about the hallway, about Scott's apparent fear and reluctance.
He thought about Scott running to the gun, hot on his heels.
He thought about Scott handing him pills, asking him to trust him-and Lee trusted him, damn it!
Still, maybe Scott was telling the truth. Maybe the saboteurs had coerced him into trying to get information out of Lee. Maybe they had been convincing enough that Scott had cooperated as well as he could.
"He says he saved your life," his father said pensively. "He says they wanted to… kill you." The hesitation was barely noticeable, but Lee heard it loud and clear. "He says he convinced them to wait, convinced them to let him to deal with you."
"I don't know," Lee said. He didn't bother to add that he didn't care. Even if Scott had really saved Lee's life, he had still betrayed him-betrayed all of them. "I don't want to know."
"Did you see Cottle?" his father asked, changing tracks.
Lee nodded absently. "Yeah. He says the drugs are almost gone, and I still need to take it easy." Funny how, even though he had basically slept through the whole thing, he still felt like staying in bed for several more days.
"I miss having you around," his father said out of the blue, surprising Lee. "It hasn't been the same."
Once upon a time, Lee would have snapped, "Whose fault is it?" and left in a huff. But things had changed, and he readily admitted that his father must have been hurt when he sided with Romo. He must have seen it as another way for Lee to reject him, just like Lee interpreted his father's silence over the last year as an attempt to pretend he didn't even have a son.
"I would have thought it would do wonders for your blood pressure," he said, only half joking. Gods knew the two of them had a lot of practice at driving each other insane.
His father smiled sadly. For the first time, Lee noticed how old he looked. How long was he going to be able to lead them, to command this ship? His father was a force to be reckoned with, but he was only human. Sooner or later, he would have to slow down, if not stop completely. "It's a relief not having to send you on dangerous missions anymore and then have to wait to see if you'll live through it," he said. "But I miss having my son around."
You sure have a funny way of showing it, Dad. Once again, he blamed the Adamas' legendary stubbornness. There was no reason why they shouldn't be able to have a relationship, even if Lee wasn't a soldier anymore. "I tried!" he pointed out, his tone harsher than he would have liked. "But every time we try to talk, we end up mad at each other, and then..." And then the President died and you even stopped replying when I contacted you. Are you as tired of this as I am? How many more second chances do you think we'll have at making this work?
His father hung his head. "I know." He didn't add anything, no explanations or excuses, and that, more than anything, calmed Lee.
I'm not Zak, am I, Dad? He was the easy one and he didn't survive. You got the argumentative, pigheaded son, and you don't know what to make of him.
The thought hurt, but Lee knew that his brother had been a lot easier to like-to love-than he was; his stubbornness, his anger, his principles and his willingness to sacrifice everything to uphold them stood in the way too often.
"I missed you too," he told his father. "I want you to be part of my life, I want my kids to know their grandfather, but I'm not going to apologize for anything I did." And I won't beg either. I'm sorry. "I did what I thought was right." Just like you taught me.
He got to his feet, stiffly. "Thank you for taking care of the kids," he said. He smiled. "They adore you, you know." His father nodded, seemingly at a loss for words. "You know where to find me," he said, terrified that his father wouldn't hear the unspoken invitation. He forced himself to add, "I'd like to see you sometimes," hoping that it would be enough.
He beat a hasty retreat, heart pounding in his ears. His father's voice stopped him as he reached the hatch. "Lee?" He froze, waiting.
"Are you…?" His father trailed off, but Lee turned to look at him and saw the question in his eyes.
"Yes, Dad." I'm fine.
Epilogue
so. damn. ready. for this one to be over...