Title : Crash
Author : Helen C.
Rating : R
Summary : Galactica, Apollo, I've been hit. Repeat, I've been hit. (Set in S2, somewhere between Final Cut and Flight of the Phoenix).
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Ronald D. Moore and Universal Television Studios to name but a few. No money is being made. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AN. Many thanks to
elzed ,
siljamus and
joey51 for beta'ing this, and to the countless people on LiveJournal who held my hand while I whined and whined and whined about this fic.
AN2. Pure, unadulterated H/C. (If you don't like it, lie to me. And if you feel the need to offer con. crit., thanks, but not on this one, please...)
Chapter 4
"This frakking weather is just making things worse," Helo said, his first words since they had boarded the Raptor an hour earlier.
Kara grunted in reply, frowning at her controls. They were flying over their best guess at crash sites (which was already starting to look like a bust). Under normal conditions, they would have been able to spot evidence of a crash from this altitude, but the pouring rain was dramatically reducing their visibility. They'd need to make several passes, which would take time-time that Apollo was going to spend under that rain if he hadn't found some shelter somewhere.
At least, the thick foliage would shield him. Too bad it also made their search that much more difficult.
Under the circumstances, she was ready to bet that Apollo wouldn't mind being drenched to the bone if it meant he got back to the Galactica sooner.
"I can't see anything," Helo added. "But it's hard to be sure."
"Which is why we're going to do it again, and again, and again, until we're sure," she said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him move in what she assumed was agreement.
None of the pilots wanted to go back to the Galactica and tell the Commander that Apollo hadn't been found.
"We should go lower," she said. "It would give us a better chance at spotting something unusual."
Like a trail of burned or broken tree tops neatly pointing them in the right direction, for example. Crashing a Viper, even in such a dense forest, was bound to leave traces.
Helo hesitated a moment before replying, "Sure."
Flying lower would make it more hazardous, but then they hadn't enrolled in the military to keep safe. She guided the Raptor lower, praying it would work and they'd find something.
She knew-she had read the reports-that the search for her when she had crashed had taken place in even worse conditions, but this was probably the first time she truly understood what it must have been like for Apollo, the Commander and the other pilots.
She didn't know how they had managed to keep searching as long as they had but she could appreciate the strain it must have put on them, now that she was living through it.
She'd find Apollo if she had to turn over every rock on this planet, if only because she wanted-needed-to repay that debt.
*
"This is weird," Helo muttered.
Kara didn't reply, too busy studying the area. Helo had spotted a flash of metal just at the edge of their search perimeter, in the one place where the trees were a little sparser. Not quite a clearing (they wouldn't be so lucky, and landing was a nerve-wracking, time-consuming procedure) but it was manageable enough for them to risk it.
There weren't any damaged trees, though, and that didn't bode well. Apollo's Viper had been hit; there was no way he could have landed it neatly.
Still, metal was a clue that they needed to check out.
"It looks like Kobol, doesn't it?"
She shot him a look, annoyed at the reminder. "A forest is a forest. But it sure as hell is raining just as hard." She unclasped her sidearm and waited for him to do the same. "And it's difficult to spot toasters in all the trees."
The rain was pouring down on them, plastering their hair to their faces, running down the exposed skin of their faces. "Better go," she said, and led the way away from the Raptor.
It didn't take long before Helo spoke up again. "He probably ejected."
There was no way he could possibly know that but Kara merely nodded. They had chosen to work based on that assumption because it was better than the alternative but it was yet another thing that made their life more difficult; even if they found the Viper, it didn't mean that they'd find Apollo with it.
But it would narrow the search, and narrowing would be good.
"Starbuck?"
"Yeah."
"He knows what he's doing," Helo said.
He didn't need to mention that crashing on an unexplored moon or planet in wartime wasn't the same thing as going through survival drills in flight school. Luck, strength of will and improvisation skills counted at least as much as training did. Apollo was good but many things could go wrong, even if he did everything right.
She shook herself and focused on the situation at hand; find unidentified ship, identify it, report back.
As usual, her instincts were proven correct when, after ten miserable minutes of struggling through the woods, they finally laid eyes on a Cylon Raider.
They stayed hidden behind the trees, but the stillness in the area told Kara that there were no Cylons around. She shot a look at Helo, who looked a little sick, and finally allowed the implications to sink in.
There were Cylons on the planet.
Frak it all to hell, but it just might mean the end of their search.
She curtly motioned for Helo to fall back and followed him. Both of them moved as quietly as possible, and she noticed without surprise that he was pretty good at that. Of course, he had had plenty of practice running around and avoiding detection since the beginning of the war.
She walked for five minutes before stopping, finally far enough from the Raider to dare speak up. Helo followed suit and waited a few feet from her. She glared at the trees all around, thinking about how satisfying it would be to punch or kick one of them with all her might.
"Starbuck?" Helo called.
She clenched her fists. Time to make a decision.
"What do we do now?" he asked carefully.
Very good question, indeed. If they reported this, it was possible (even likely) that the search would be called off. The only reason they had come back was that there were no Cylons in orbit, but finding them on the planet changed things.
She looked in the direction of the Raider.
She didn't have to report this. Only she and Helo had seen it, and Helo was bound to be as torn as she was. Apollo was a fellow pilot, a superior officer, and for all his prissy attitude, he was well-liked. They'd had to learn to leave pilots-friends-behind, but it always ate at them when they did it.
Keeping this quiet would increase Apollo's chances, give them more time to hunt him down. Helo would understand, probably even agree.
She didn't have to report this.
She didn't have to report this, but if she didn't and somebody died for lack of information…
She closed her eyes, thinking about Apollo. He was somewhere out here, waiting for rescue. He may be injured, he may be dying, and-
-and he wouldn't want anyone to die to save him. He'd be the first to tell her that she needed to give a full report to the Commander. It wasn't her call to make, not even if her best friend's life was at stake.
He would fight for her if their places were swapped, he had fought for her, but according to certain rules that he had sworn to obey, just as she had.
The rain was still falling (why couldn't they find a sunny, warm planet, for once? Why couldn't they find a safe planet, for that matter?), the splattering of drops on the leaves and the ground drowning out all other sounds. She wondered if there was some sort of wildlife around-birds, mammals, anything-then frowned, shaking herself. It was an insignificant detail and she didn't have time for that.
Helo was still waiting when she opened her eyes. She couldn't read his face, and that surprised her. It usually wasn't so hard to guess what he was thinking. "He's out there somewhere," he said, his tone neutral.
"Yes," she said. "So, let's report to the Commander, fuel up and then we'll go take a look at another possible crash site."
He opened his mouth and she braced herself for the question that was sure to follow. "What if-" He saw the look on her face and shut up.
Good.
That confirmed what she had always thought; when he wasn't busy impregnating Cylons, he was a pretty sensible guy.
She started walking again, kicking at some leaves as she passed. Not as satisfying as punching something would have been, but she would take what little she could get.
*
The CIC felt wonderfully comfortable and warm after the planet. Too bad Kara wasn't in the mood to enjoy it.
The Commander received the news about the Cylon Raider as she had assumed he would. His face remained unreadable but she was sure his shoulders slumped a little. It was barely noticeable, but she knew him well enough to see it.
For a brief moment, she wished she'd made a different decision, wished she'd kept that intel to herself.
It wasn't my call to make, she reminded herself.
She just wished it hadn't been anyone's call to make.
Tigh opened his mouth and Kara braced herself. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.
"Sir, I think we should consider calling off the search."
The Commander barely seemed to hear him. He was staring at the tactical table, lost in thought. Kara didn't want to guess what was going through his mind right now. She shifted from one foot to the other, aware that every eye in the CIC was fixed on the three of them, waiting for someone to talk.
I shouldn't have made that report. They're going to call it off and it'll be my fault. Her stomach twisted at the thought and for a short moment, she was sure she was going to get sick, right here and now. Just what her reputation needed, really, and she had to bite back a snort of laughter.
What the frak was wrong with her?
"Commander," Tigh insisted. Kara managed to keep silent but it was a struggle. There was still a small chance that the Commander would allow her and Helo to go back; she couldn't waste it by being sent to the brig for telling the old bastard exactly what she thought about him.
"Get me the President," the Commander ordered, his voice tired. He turned to Kara as Dualla opened the channel. The usually composed communications officer seemed tense and exhausted, more subdued than usual.
"You didn't see any Cylons, just the Raider, correct?" the Commander asked.
"Yes, sir," she replied, heart in her throat.
Then, Dualla announced that the President was waiting and the Commander turned his back to Kara, taking hold of the transmitter. "Madam President, there's been a change of situation."
Kara met Tigh's eyes. To her surprise, the man didn't seem nearly as satisfied as she'd thought he would be. Astonishing, considering how little he thought of Lee.
"Lieutenant Thrace reported they found a Cylon Raider down on the planet."
Kara struggled to keep her face impassive, unsure whether or not she was succeeding. If they call it off, it'll be my fault. She counted down the seconds before the Commander talked again. One, two, three, four, five, six-
"No, they didn't see any Cylons. Just the Raider."
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve-
"Impossible to say, Madame President." The Commander brought a hand to his face, massaging his right temple. Kara wondered whether he had managed to sleep at all the previous night; there seemed to be a myriad of new lines on his face. "We always knew it was possible there were Cylons down there. DRADIS isn't picking up anything in orbit yet, and-"
He stopped talking and Kara resumed counting. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen-was the President talking or was she silent, weighing the pros and cons before making a decision? It was impossible to tell from looking at the Commander; he might as well have been turned to stone-twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six-
The Commander suddenly stood straighter, the slump in his shoulder disappearing-twenty-seven-
"Thank you, Madam President," he said-twenty-nine-
Kara released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as he hung up the transmitter-thirty-and turned to her-thirty-one.
"You have to the end of the day, Lieutenant," the Commander said. "Find him."
She saluted and left, all but running to the flight deck, heart beating in her chest at a speed that had little to do with her pace.
*
Two additional Raptors had joined the search but so far, they had nothing to report.
In another hour, it would be night on the planet. In another two hours, if there was still no sign of Apollo, the Fleet would leave.
Determined as she was not to let that happen, there was only so much Kara could do. "Come on, Lee. Give me something to work with," she muttered under her breath as she took the Raptor on the third flyover of the site they were surveying.
Helo shot her a look from the co-pilot's seat but didn't comment. He had barely said a word in the last three hours. Talking felt like a waste time that would be better spent focusing on the search.
Breathing felt like a waste time that would be better spent looking.
Did Lee feel as frustrated as she did now when he was looking for her, as the hours ticked by and SAR mission was unable to find her? It must have driven him insane-just as this was driving her insane.
What had it felt like for him when he'd had to obey orders and accept to leave her behind?
What would it feel like to him if they had to leave him behind and he kept waiting for a rescue that never came?
"Come on," she insisted under her breath. At least, it had stopped raining while she was on the Galactica. It probably wasn't any less cold outside but the visibility had vastly improved.
"Starbuck," Helo called.
Something in his voice brought her back to the present as quickly as if he had hit her. "What?"
"I think we found the Viper." He swallowed audibly and she shot a look in his direction, finding him focused on his readings. "I thought I saw something on our last pass and I wanted to be sure…" He trailed off but she was already alerting the Galactica and moving the Raptor down to check it out.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
*
When they boarded the Raptor again, an hour later, they could barely see a few feet in front of them. She closed the hatch, staring into the darkness, fighting down the urge to throw up. It wasn't the first crashed bird she saw; there was no reason to be so shaken up.
Except it's impossible to tell whether or not he used his ejection seat, because there's nothing left of the damn Viper.
Except if he ejected, there's no way to tell where he landed.
Except it's possible the old man will order the Fleet to jump away before we can check all the possibilities.
Except he might have been captured by the Cylons already.
She didn't allow the thought to take hold in her mind. At least there weren't any Cylons around the Viper; maybe they had been there and decided the remains weren't worth losing time over, or they hadn't found it in the first place.
It didn't matter; small miracles were better than none at all.
As far as she was concerned, Apollo was alive and mobile and that was it. She would be back tomorrow to look for him even if she had to commit mutiny, and this time when she landed, she wouldn't go back to the Galactica without him.
Chapter 5