OC Fic : Fork In The Road (1/9)
Okay...
Remember that fic I told you a while ago?
Well, here are the first three chapters...
Title : Fork In The Road
Author : Helen C.
Rating : R (M)
Summary : AU. Dawn never left in the Pilot, and Ryan came back to Chino for a while. Years later, he and Seth meet in Los Angeles.
Spoilers : Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
joey51 stayed up until some ungodly hour in the night to beta this, and that's one of the many reasons why she's the best beta ever. :) Thanks, Joey!
I'm very nervous about this one, so let me say it again; AU, future fic, slash Ryan/Seth and without giving too much away, they don't get married and live happily ever after.
Since I'm posting several chapters in one go, I'll link directly to my site.
And now that I've made sure that no one would actually click the links (have I mentionned yet that I'm nervous?) here goes :
Chapter 1
"It will be all right," Mr. Cohen says as he makes his way to the car, Ryan in tow.
Ryan nods absently, noticing the faded grass in front of the old, dilapidated houses. He has always known that he lives in a "poor" neighborhood, but until this weekend, he hadn't truly realized what it means to be rich, what it means to live in a fancy home and have enough money to buy whatever is needed, without wondering whether the food is more urgent than the rent or vice-versa.
Until this weekend, the lives of the rich and the beautiful had been theoretical to Ryan. Sure, movie stars and TV characters lived like that, but he had never thought about lawyers and doctors and people his age living in luxury, and thinking nothing of it.
"Ryan?"
He smiles apologetically at his lawyer. "Yeah, sorry." Soon, the man will be gone, and Ryan will be alone to deal with Dawn and AJ. Ryan's stomach contracts as he tries to steel himself for what is to come. "Thanks for… you know."
"Don't mention it."
Ryan shoots an incredulous look at his lawyer, remembering his near desperation at the prospect of sleeping on the street, and his relief when Mr. Cohen accepted to come get him. Don't mention it?
"No, thanks," he insists. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't let me stay at your place." Well, technically, Ryan has suspicions about what he would have done, and these suspicions are not exactly heart-warming.
Mr. Cohen looks at the house, where Dawn is probably still sitting on the couch, watching TV blankly and whining about the unfairness of life -- as she did the whole time Mr. Cohen was there. He insisted on meeting her to talk about what was going to happen with Ryan's case, but Ryan doesn't think his mother listened to a word Mr. Cohen said. At, least, thankfully, she isn't passed out, or drunk, or stoned, otherwise Mr. Cohen would certainly refuse to leave Ryan here, and while Ryan isn't keen on staying here, it's not like he has anywhere else to go.
He knows his family life isn't exactly ideal -- scratch that, he sometimes feels like he's living in a Dickens novel, with less filth and more comfortable clothes -- but still, it's all he has. And things aren't so bad today. Dawn is semi-coherent and is, apparently, willing to take him back, which is all Ryan could hope for. Two years, he reminds himself. In two years, he'll be old enough to leave.
"You sure you'll be fine?" Mr. Cohen asks.
Ryan smiles. "Yeah. Sure."
"Well, we'll see each other in a few days to discuss your case, then," Mr. Cohen says, climbing in the car.
Ryan nods, trying to look more enthusiastic than he feels. "Thanks," he repeats. "Tell Seth I said 'Hi,' okay?"
Mr. Cohen looks grateful, and Ryan remembers again how isolated and lonely Seth must feel all the time, in his huge castle-like mansion, with no friends and parents who, apparently, work all the time.
Once Mr. Cohen's car has dropped out of view, Ryan walks back into the house, head down, hoping AJ won't be around later. Ryan is really not in the mood to go another round with the guy.
He sighs again before entering. His own house has always felt foreign and unsafe to him, but since Dawn met AJ, the vague feeling of unease has become a never-ending, gut-wrenching wave of fear.
Ryan hopes that Dawn will ditch AJ soon. Or that AJ will ditch her. Or that AJ will get arrested, or that he'll make enemies and will need to skip town. Anything to keep him as far away as possible, before he completely destroys what little is left of the Atwood family.
In the meantime, Ryan has to make it work here.
It won't be fun, but he knows how to keep a low profile, how to become invisible when need be.
He'll make it.
He can do anything, when he doesn't have a choice.
***
The next few months are remarkably uneventful.
Sandy Cohen keeps his promise and manages to keep Ryan out of jail.
Aside from a few slaps and punches here and there, AJ mostly leaves Ryan alone. Of course, the fact that Ryan doesn't sleep there anymore probably has a lot to do with that. Ryan hates nights -- there's no way to walk in the streets, waiting for time to pass, during the night, at least not without attracting unwanted attention from the police, so he has found other ways to sleep outside without getting into trouble. Turo lets him sleep in his car sometimes, or he sneaks into Theresa's bed, or into old buildings when he doesn't have any other choice.
Anything to keep out of AJ's way.
He only goes back to the house to shower and eat, whenever he's sure AJ isn't around. He does his homework as well as he can, wherever he crashes for the night.
Dawn is never really sober anymore, and accuses Ryan of driving her to the bottle, but then, what else is new?
Trey keeps refusing visits from his family, except once, for Thanksgiving, when he asks Ryan to come and talks him into delivering a car to Gattas, which earns Ryan his first thorough ass-kicking in months, as well as a serious fight with Dawn and AJ, who are mad at having spent money on the hospital instead of on their booze.
Luckily, though, there are no broken bones, which is a small miracle, and aside from a few bruises, Ryan's injuries are easily concealed behind long sleeves, so no one at school seems to notice anything suspicious.
And even if they did, Ryan thinks, they wouldn't care. They'd ask him if everything is fine at home, and Ryan would lie, and they would leave it at that, like they always have.
He's becoming bitter, Theresa has told him so several times already, and he doesn't have the energy to explain to her all the reasons he has for growing bitter.
"Sometimes, you sound like your brother," Arturo told him once.
Ryan shrugged, said, "So what?" and Arturo didn't insist.
People rarely insist. All Ryan has to do is look at his shoes and shrug in a despondent way, and mumble something, anything, and they leave him alone.
Ryan stays out of trouble, goes to school, smiles and nods at his PO, and falls back into his old routine, as if that August night hadn't happened, as if Trey wasn't in jail.
The only thing out of the ordinary is Seth, and, by extension, the Cohen family.
Seth keeps insisting that they meet as often as possible and to Ryan's surprise, Mrs. Cohen actually allows him to come over.
Ryan can't help but notice that there's always an adult in the house when he and Seth play video games or lounge around in the pool, but he didn't expect anything else. From the beginning, the Cohens have struck him as protective parents. Sure, they don't seem to have a clue about what happens in Seth's life, but still, they don't harm him, they don't ignore him and they certainly keep an eye on him.
It has become a ritual by now -- Ryan meets Mr. Cohen in his office, they discuss court dates or PO meetings, then Mr. Cohen takes Ryan to his house, where Ryan plays video games and listens as Seth rambles about his life and his dreams. Usually, Mrs. Cohen politely invites him for dinner, Ryan refuses equally politely, and takes the bus back to Chino.
The bitter part of himself can't help but notice that Mrs. Cohen always looks vaguely relieved when he leaves.
She's nice, all the Cohens are, but she's also guarded around him, and she tends to hover whenever Seth and Ryan hang out in the living room, whereas Mr. Cohen stays in his office and allows them some privacy.
Ryan can see the warning in her eyes. Don't taint my son, don't expose him to danger, don't expose him to the ugliness of life outside of Newport.
Ryan doesn't feel strong enough to explain to her that life is hard for Seth in Newport too, and that he has no desire to make it even worse by sharing his too-vast life experience with the kid. Anyone who has had jocks pissing in his shoes for years and who can still be as innocent and, well, nice as Seth is, deserves to be protected at all costs.
In Newport like in Chino, Ryan keeps his head down, and waits until he's no longer on probation, waits until he's legal and can officially move out and try to do something with his life.
***
"Come on, man, stay for dinner," Seth begs, shortly after Thanksgiving and Ryan's encounter of the Gattas kind.
Ryan still has relatively frequent headaches, but thankfully, they're getting less fierce. He doesn't think he could deal with Seth's chatter otherwise.
The bruises on his face have almost faded, but he noticed Mrs. Cohen's disapproving frown, mixed with concern, when she saw him. He also saw Mr. Cohen shooting nervous glances his way, when he thought Ryan wasn't looking. The man is nice, and a good lawyer, but subtlety is not really his strong suit.
"Seth, I really shouldn't --"
"You've never stayed," Seth insists, cutting him off. "Mom keeps offering, and she means it."
Ryan isn't so sure. Mrs. Cohen may accept him into her house for a few hours, but it doesn't mean she likes him that much. He can't even be mad at her for that. He knows what he looks like, he knows what he is, and he can't blame the woman for protecting her family. He wishes his own mother was a little more like that, really.
"Your parents are nice enough to allow me to come from time to time," Ryan replies. "I don't want to overstay my welcome."
Mrs. Cohen's voice startles him. "You're not. We'd really like you to stay." He turns to her in time to see her smile a little hesitantly. "Please."
Ryan sighs and half-shrugs. "Okay. Thanks," he says, hoping this won't turn out to be a mistake.
***
For a minute, Ryan is afraid that Seth is going to self-combust in excitement. Then, he gets worried that Seth will choke on his food, trying to talk and eat at the same time.
The elder Cohens seem mostly amused, so Ryan assumes that this is normal behavior on Seth's part.
"Breathe, Seth," one of the Cohens says every once in a while.
"Yeah, yeah. So, Ryan…"
Eventually, Seth winds down to enjoy his food and Mr. Cohen whispers to Ryan, "Every day, we bless his teenager appetite," he says. "When Seth eats, he keeps quiet for a few minutes, and let me tell you, we do enjoy the blessed silence."
Ryan smiles, trying to imagine a time when even food wasn't interesting enough to keep Seth from filling in the blanks in the conversation. Blessed silence indeed.
As Seth is quieter, Mrs. Cohen starts talking about contractors who didn't respect their end of the bargain, then Mr. Cohen talks about his day in court, and Ryan sits back in his seat, enjoying the evening. He doesn't relax very often, and it's a nice change to enjoy a meal in the company of people who aren't likely to start screaming and insulting each other without warning.
***
"Sorry for the boring shop talk," Seth says, as Ryan is getting ready to leave. "You know the 'rents, always talking."
Ryan snorts a surprised laugh. "Right, cause they're the ones talking too much."
Seth shrugs, looking strangely bashful. "What can I say? Lawyer's son, and all that…"
"Hm."
Seth brightens. "So, will you come by for Chrismukkah? You have to, it'll be awesome, but really… will you?"
"What the hell is Chrismuwhatever?"
Naturally, Ryan's question sends Seth on a five minutes explanation of why Chrismukkah was created, and why it rocks so much more than all the other holidays, and why it will, one day, "sweep the nation," and why Ryan must, as it's his duty, participate in the celebrations.
By the time he's finished, Ryan's head is spinning, and Mr. Cohen guides him away, laughing softly. "Sorry, I should have warned you," he says. "Seth can be quite passionate about holidays."
Ryan bites back the "no shit" that wants to escape and nods carefully.
Mrs. Cohen is waiting for them near the car. She takes one look at Ryan and her lips twitch. "I see, from your glazed look, that Seth has told you all about Chrismukkah."
"Uh huh." Ryan nods, still slightly dazed.
"You're more than welcome to come over," Mrs. Cohen says, smiling and patting Ryan's shoulder awkwardly -- the first time she has ever initiated physical contact of any kind between them.
"Thanks," Ryan says, already sure he won't take them up to their offer. He doesn't do holidays. Every year, he does everything he can to pretend they don't exist, and he plans on honoring that tradition this year too. He'll take his bike and ride it in Chino until it's over. It's better, easier, this way.
"We'll let you boys work out something," Mr. Cohen adds. "You'll see, it's less overwhelming than Seth makes it sound."
"Slightly less overwhelming," Mrs. Cohen adds with a tolerant smile.
She stands there as Ryan climbs into the car, and she's still standing, waving, when Mr. Cohen drives down the driveway.
Chapter 2
More on Wednesday.
::goes hide under her desk::
Remember that fic I told you a while ago?
Well, here are the first three chapters...
Title : Fork In The Road
Author : Helen C.
Rating : R (M)
Summary : AU. Dawn never left in the Pilot, and Ryan came back to Chino for a while. Years later, he and Seth meet in Los Angeles.
Spoilers : Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
joey51 stayed up until some ungodly hour in the night to beta this, and that's one of the many reasons why she's the best beta ever. :) Thanks, Joey!
I'm very nervous about this one, so let me say it again; AU, future fic, slash Ryan/Seth and without giving too much away, they don't get married and live happily ever after.
Since I'm posting several chapters in one go, I'll link directly to my site.
And now that I've made sure that no one would actually click the links (have I mentionned yet that I'm nervous?) here goes :
Chapter 1
"It will be all right," Mr. Cohen says as he makes his way to the car, Ryan in tow.
Ryan nods absently, noticing the faded grass in front of the old, dilapidated houses. He has always known that he lives in a "poor" neighborhood, but until this weekend, he hadn't truly realized what it means to be rich, what it means to live in a fancy home and have enough money to buy whatever is needed, without wondering whether the food is more urgent than the rent or vice-versa.
Until this weekend, the lives of the rich and the beautiful had been theoretical to Ryan. Sure, movie stars and TV characters lived like that, but he had never thought about lawyers and doctors and people his age living in luxury, and thinking nothing of it.
"Ryan?"
He smiles apologetically at his lawyer. "Yeah, sorry." Soon, the man will be gone, and Ryan will be alone to deal with Dawn and AJ. Ryan's stomach contracts as he tries to steel himself for what is to come. "Thanks for… you know."
"Don't mention it."
Ryan shoots an incredulous look at his lawyer, remembering his near desperation at the prospect of sleeping on the street, and his relief when Mr. Cohen accepted to come get him. Don't mention it?
"No, thanks," he insists. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't let me stay at your place." Well, technically, Ryan has suspicions about what he would have done, and these suspicions are not exactly heart-warming.
Mr. Cohen looks at the house, where Dawn is probably still sitting on the couch, watching TV blankly and whining about the unfairness of life -- as she did the whole time Mr. Cohen was there. He insisted on meeting her to talk about what was going to happen with Ryan's case, but Ryan doesn't think his mother listened to a word Mr. Cohen said. At, least, thankfully, she isn't passed out, or drunk, or stoned, otherwise Mr. Cohen would certainly refuse to leave Ryan here, and while Ryan isn't keen on staying here, it's not like he has anywhere else to go.
He knows his family life isn't exactly ideal -- scratch that, he sometimes feels like he's living in a Dickens novel, with less filth and more comfortable clothes -- but still, it's all he has. And things aren't so bad today. Dawn is semi-coherent and is, apparently, willing to take him back, which is all Ryan could hope for. Two years, he reminds himself. In two years, he'll be old enough to leave.
"You sure you'll be fine?" Mr. Cohen asks.
Ryan smiles. "Yeah. Sure."
"Well, we'll see each other in a few days to discuss your case, then," Mr. Cohen says, climbing in the car.
Ryan nods, trying to look more enthusiastic than he feels. "Thanks," he repeats. "Tell Seth I said 'Hi,' okay?"
Mr. Cohen looks grateful, and Ryan remembers again how isolated and lonely Seth must feel all the time, in his huge castle-like mansion, with no friends and parents who, apparently, work all the time.
Once Mr. Cohen's car has dropped out of view, Ryan walks back into the house, head down, hoping AJ won't be around later. Ryan is really not in the mood to go another round with the guy.
He sighs again before entering. His own house has always felt foreign and unsafe to him, but since Dawn met AJ, the vague feeling of unease has become a never-ending, gut-wrenching wave of fear.
Ryan hopes that Dawn will ditch AJ soon. Or that AJ will ditch her. Or that AJ will get arrested, or that he'll make enemies and will need to skip town. Anything to keep him as far away as possible, before he completely destroys what little is left of the Atwood family.
In the meantime, Ryan has to make it work here.
It won't be fun, but he knows how to keep a low profile, how to become invisible when need be.
He'll make it.
He can do anything, when he doesn't have a choice.
***
The next few months are remarkably uneventful.
Sandy Cohen keeps his promise and manages to keep Ryan out of jail.
Aside from a few slaps and punches here and there, AJ mostly leaves Ryan alone. Of course, the fact that Ryan doesn't sleep there anymore probably has a lot to do with that. Ryan hates nights -- there's no way to walk in the streets, waiting for time to pass, during the night, at least not without attracting unwanted attention from the police, so he has found other ways to sleep outside without getting into trouble. Turo lets him sleep in his car sometimes, or he sneaks into Theresa's bed, or into old buildings when he doesn't have any other choice.
Anything to keep out of AJ's way.
He only goes back to the house to shower and eat, whenever he's sure AJ isn't around. He does his homework as well as he can, wherever he crashes for the night.
Dawn is never really sober anymore, and accuses Ryan of driving her to the bottle, but then, what else is new?
Trey keeps refusing visits from his family, except once, for Thanksgiving, when he asks Ryan to come and talks him into delivering a car to Gattas, which earns Ryan his first thorough ass-kicking in months, as well as a serious fight with Dawn and AJ, who are mad at having spent money on the hospital instead of on their booze.
Luckily, though, there are no broken bones, which is a small miracle, and aside from a few bruises, Ryan's injuries are easily concealed behind long sleeves, so no one at school seems to notice anything suspicious.
And even if they did, Ryan thinks, they wouldn't care. They'd ask him if everything is fine at home, and Ryan would lie, and they would leave it at that, like they always have.
He's becoming bitter, Theresa has told him so several times already, and he doesn't have the energy to explain to her all the reasons he has for growing bitter.
"Sometimes, you sound like your brother," Arturo told him once.
Ryan shrugged, said, "So what?" and Arturo didn't insist.
People rarely insist. All Ryan has to do is look at his shoes and shrug in a despondent way, and mumble something, anything, and they leave him alone.
Ryan stays out of trouble, goes to school, smiles and nods at his PO, and falls back into his old routine, as if that August night hadn't happened, as if Trey wasn't in jail.
The only thing out of the ordinary is Seth, and, by extension, the Cohen family.
Seth keeps insisting that they meet as often as possible and to Ryan's surprise, Mrs. Cohen actually allows him to come over.
Ryan can't help but notice that there's always an adult in the house when he and Seth play video games or lounge around in the pool, but he didn't expect anything else. From the beginning, the Cohens have struck him as protective parents. Sure, they don't seem to have a clue about what happens in Seth's life, but still, they don't harm him, they don't ignore him and they certainly keep an eye on him.
It has become a ritual by now -- Ryan meets Mr. Cohen in his office, they discuss court dates or PO meetings, then Mr. Cohen takes Ryan to his house, where Ryan plays video games and listens as Seth rambles about his life and his dreams. Usually, Mrs. Cohen politely invites him for dinner, Ryan refuses equally politely, and takes the bus back to Chino.
The bitter part of himself can't help but notice that Mrs. Cohen always looks vaguely relieved when he leaves.
She's nice, all the Cohens are, but she's also guarded around him, and she tends to hover whenever Seth and Ryan hang out in the living room, whereas Mr. Cohen stays in his office and allows them some privacy.
Ryan can see the warning in her eyes. Don't taint my son, don't expose him to danger, don't expose him to the ugliness of life outside of Newport.
Ryan doesn't feel strong enough to explain to her that life is hard for Seth in Newport too, and that he has no desire to make it even worse by sharing his too-vast life experience with the kid. Anyone who has had jocks pissing in his shoes for years and who can still be as innocent and, well, nice as Seth is, deserves to be protected at all costs.
In Newport like in Chino, Ryan keeps his head down, and waits until he's no longer on probation, waits until he's legal and can officially move out and try to do something with his life.
***
"Come on, man, stay for dinner," Seth begs, shortly after Thanksgiving and Ryan's encounter of the Gattas kind.
Ryan still has relatively frequent headaches, but thankfully, they're getting less fierce. He doesn't think he could deal with Seth's chatter otherwise.
The bruises on his face have almost faded, but he noticed Mrs. Cohen's disapproving frown, mixed with concern, when she saw him. He also saw Mr. Cohen shooting nervous glances his way, when he thought Ryan wasn't looking. The man is nice, and a good lawyer, but subtlety is not really his strong suit.
"Seth, I really shouldn't --"
"You've never stayed," Seth insists, cutting him off. "Mom keeps offering, and she means it."
Ryan isn't so sure. Mrs. Cohen may accept him into her house for a few hours, but it doesn't mean she likes him that much. He can't even be mad at her for that. He knows what he looks like, he knows what he is, and he can't blame the woman for protecting her family. He wishes his own mother was a little more like that, really.
"Your parents are nice enough to allow me to come from time to time," Ryan replies. "I don't want to overstay my welcome."
Mrs. Cohen's voice startles him. "You're not. We'd really like you to stay." He turns to her in time to see her smile a little hesitantly. "Please."
Ryan sighs and half-shrugs. "Okay. Thanks," he says, hoping this won't turn out to be a mistake.
***
For a minute, Ryan is afraid that Seth is going to self-combust in excitement. Then, he gets worried that Seth will choke on his food, trying to talk and eat at the same time.
The elder Cohens seem mostly amused, so Ryan assumes that this is normal behavior on Seth's part.
"Breathe, Seth," one of the Cohens says every once in a while.
"Yeah, yeah. So, Ryan…"
Eventually, Seth winds down to enjoy his food and Mr. Cohen whispers to Ryan, "Every day, we bless his teenager appetite," he says. "When Seth eats, he keeps quiet for a few minutes, and let me tell you, we do enjoy the blessed silence."
Ryan smiles, trying to imagine a time when even food wasn't interesting enough to keep Seth from filling in the blanks in the conversation. Blessed silence indeed.
As Seth is quieter, Mrs. Cohen starts talking about contractors who didn't respect their end of the bargain, then Mr. Cohen talks about his day in court, and Ryan sits back in his seat, enjoying the evening. He doesn't relax very often, and it's a nice change to enjoy a meal in the company of people who aren't likely to start screaming and insulting each other without warning.
***
"Sorry for the boring shop talk," Seth says, as Ryan is getting ready to leave. "You know the 'rents, always talking."
Ryan snorts a surprised laugh. "Right, cause they're the ones talking too much."
Seth shrugs, looking strangely bashful. "What can I say? Lawyer's son, and all that…"
"Hm."
Seth brightens. "So, will you come by for Chrismukkah? You have to, it'll be awesome, but really… will you?"
"What the hell is Chrismuwhatever?"
Naturally, Ryan's question sends Seth on a five minutes explanation of why Chrismukkah was created, and why it rocks so much more than all the other holidays, and why it will, one day, "sweep the nation," and why Ryan must, as it's his duty, participate in the celebrations.
By the time he's finished, Ryan's head is spinning, and Mr. Cohen guides him away, laughing softly. "Sorry, I should have warned you," he says. "Seth can be quite passionate about holidays."
Ryan bites back the "no shit" that wants to escape and nods carefully.
Mrs. Cohen is waiting for them near the car. She takes one look at Ryan and her lips twitch. "I see, from your glazed look, that Seth has told you all about Chrismukkah."
"Uh huh." Ryan nods, still slightly dazed.
"You're more than welcome to come over," Mrs. Cohen says, smiling and patting Ryan's shoulder awkwardly -- the first time she has ever initiated physical contact of any kind between them.
"Thanks," Ryan says, already sure he won't take them up to their offer. He doesn't do holidays. Every year, he does everything he can to pretend they don't exist, and he plans on honoring that tradition this year too. He'll take his bike and ride it in Chino until it's over. It's better, easier, this way.
"We'll let you boys work out something," Mr. Cohen adds. "You'll see, it's less overwhelming than Seth makes it sound."
"Slightly less overwhelming," Mrs. Cohen adds with a tolerant smile.
She stands there as Ryan climbs into the car, and she's still standing, waving, when Mr. Cohen drives down the driveway.
Chapter 2
More on Wednesday.
::goes hide under her desk::