The Funeral.
I've left this entry public to attempt to show people how much Darryl meant to me.
I want his memory to live on, and I think this post does an excellent job of doing just that.
That, and the two most influential sentences were told to me today, which is also covered.
Sigh. Rest in Peace, Darryl.
I knew going in it was going to be the hardest day of my life.
I awoke at 9:30 am, took a shower, etc. All the while being so somber..so quiet. I knew I just had to prepare myself for the hours to come. I was hyping myself up mentally.
We got there around 10:30.. the place was completely filled. We stood in the doorway, and by the time the service started, there were probably 50 people behind us, with both listening rooms filled as well. He touched so many lifes.. he would have loved to see all the people who came to the funeral..
I was doing alright until his father went up to speak.
Before he even reached the podium, I had tears in my eyes.
He spoke of Darryl's love for life. He told his life story. He spoke of how he was born two months premature, and was so smalled he looked like a peanut, thus earning him the nickname. He showed his true fighting spirit in the early days, fighting off death right from the start.
By this time tears were running down my face and I was refusing tissues... these were tears for Darryl, and damnit, they were going to leave their mark.
He spoke of how Darryl had first got cancer in 1997 at the age of ten... got rid of it, relasped, got rid of it, relapsed, got rid of it, relapsed. The only method left was to go to a bone marrow transplant.. thankfully, both his mother and brother matched..
21 days in isolation, each day with a fever which could take his life at any time. He had to rebuild his entire immune system during this time, and even with constant mouth sores, exhaustion, and needles.. he did it with a smile. He knew he was coming back from this.. this wasn't going to ruin his life.
And he completed the bone marrow.. began living a normal life again, filled with hockey and fishing...about two months later he complained of weakness in his legs while playing hockey...they learned that, once again, the cancer had returned. It had been hiding in his central nervous system, and there was nothing left he could do.
Once again, Darryl defied the odds. He simply got stronger, and healthier as time past. They believed he had beat the cancer, again. They planned a cross country trip to B.C. for August of this year to celebrate with family. Two weeks beforehand they learned that the cancer was back...the son of a bitch... this time though, he refused to postpone it. He was determined to go on this trip.
He got back just before school started... underwent a treatment, but was determined to go to school that first day. He'd never been able to attend the first day of high school, and he was going in to grade 11. It made him very tired.. but it was one of his dreams. Eventually he had to get home schooling again.. and on October 16th, he passed away from a stroke. He died peacefully with family members surrounding him.
His dad then read some poetry he wrote.. he was in tears, saying "We didn't even know he could do this."
It was very good.. he had to do a name poem, on Darryl.. he wrote how it stood for bravery, courage and never giving up in the face of all odds.
He went on to write how he wanted to go to University.. and get his medical degree... he also wrote some other stuff which his father designated probably wouldn't be a good thing to read today.
And that was the end of his part.
By the end, everyone, everyone was in tears.
They then played "One More Day" by Diamond Rio. Regardless of the genre... it's a fucking amazing song. It broke everyone down again.
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do. With one more day with you
Chorus
Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day
Then one of his nurses spoke.. of what, I can't really recall. It was all just a blur.
That was the end of the service.. they asked us to go down to the basement for a luncheon and such.. so we were one of the first down, and they had two collages of Darryl, which had me break down, again. Sigh. He was so full of love.
They asked us to wait for the family to come down, so there was a row of people on either wall as they began to pass.
And in the most important moments of my life :
His mother was past.. and out of the hundreds of people whom lined the wall.. she stopped her journey to the room, and gave me a long, hard hug. She whispered in my ear "Matt.. just so you know Darryl always loved you."
It was the most important thing anyone has ever said to me, along with what his father told me later.
I whispered back "I loved him too. And I love you Rose. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me, specifically allowing me to be blessed enough to meet your son."
And we both began to cry as she made her way into the luncheon.
They let us go in shortly after that.
I had to be alone, so I tried to make my way outside, through the massive crowd. I saw many friends and parents who I stopped to give hugs or handshakes to. People I haven't seen in years, all reunited in love of this one boy.
I came back shortly afterwards.. and we got in line to give their family hugs before we departed.
I hugged his father, and he, reiterating what his mother said, told me "You always meant a lot to Darryl."
I take it as a huge compliment. I hold that entire family in the highest of regards, and to know that they do the same to me.. it's unexplainable.
We left shortly after that.
I cried the entire way home.
It should have been me. I should have been the one to go. He had so much to offer.. he had dreams, he had courage, he had bravery.. he had everything I lack.
I love you Darryl.
I was truly blessed just having known you.
You've left such a mark on all those people. You should be proud.
I'll never forget you.
You're my inspiration. My role model. My hero.
Rest in Peace.
I want his memory to live on, and I think this post does an excellent job of doing just that.
That, and the two most influential sentences were told to me today, which is also covered.
Sigh. Rest in Peace, Darryl.
I knew going in it was going to be the hardest day of my life.
I awoke at 9:30 am, took a shower, etc. All the while being so somber..so quiet. I knew I just had to prepare myself for the hours to come. I was hyping myself up mentally.
We got there around 10:30.. the place was completely filled. We stood in the doorway, and by the time the service started, there were probably 50 people behind us, with both listening rooms filled as well. He touched so many lifes.. he would have loved to see all the people who came to the funeral..
I was doing alright until his father went up to speak.
Before he even reached the podium, I had tears in my eyes.
He spoke of Darryl's love for life. He told his life story. He spoke of how he was born two months premature, and was so smalled he looked like a peanut, thus earning him the nickname. He showed his true fighting spirit in the early days, fighting off death right from the start.
By this time tears were running down my face and I was refusing tissues... these were tears for Darryl, and damnit, they were going to leave their mark.
He spoke of how Darryl had first got cancer in 1997 at the age of ten... got rid of it, relasped, got rid of it, relapsed, got rid of it, relapsed. The only method left was to go to a bone marrow transplant.. thankfully, both his mother and brother matched..
21 days in isolation, each day with a fever which could take his life at any time. He had to rebuild his entire immune system during this time, and even with constant mouth sores, exhaustion, and needles.. he did it with a smile. He knew he was coming back from this.. this wasn't going to ruin his life.
And he completed the bone marrow.. began living a normal life again, filled with hockey and fishing...about two months later he complained of weakness in his legs while playing hockey...they learned that, once again, the cancer had returned. It had been hiding in his central nervous system, and there was nothing left he could do.
Once again, Darryl defied the odds. He simply got stronger, and healthier as time past. They believed he had beat the cancer, again. They planned a cross country trip to B.C. for August of this year to celebrate with family. Two weeks beforehand they learned that the cancer was back...the son of a bitch... this time though, he refused to postpone it. He was determined to go on this trip.
He got back just before school started... underwent a treatment, but was determined to go to school that first day. He'd never been able to attend the first day of high school, and he was going in to grade 11. It made him very tired.. but it was one of his dreams. Eventually he had to get home schooling again.. and on October 16th, he passed away from a stroke. He died peacefully with family members surrounding him.
His dad then read some poetry he wrote.. he was in tears, saying "We didn't even know he could do this."
It was very good.. he had to do a name poem, on Darryl.. he wrote how it stood for bravery, courage and never giving up in the face of all odds.
He went on to write how he wanted to go to University.. and get his medical degree... he also wrote some other stuff which his father designated probably wouldn't be a good thing to read today.
And that was the end of his part.
By the end, everyone, everyone was in tears.
They then played "One More Day" by Diamond Rio. Regardless of the genre... it's a fucking amazing song. It broke everyone down again.
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
Chorus
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do. With one more day with you
Chorus
Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day
Then one of his nurses spoke.. of what, I can't really recall. It was all just a blur.
That was the end of the service.. they asked us to go down to the basement for a luncheon and such.. so we were one of the first down, and they had two collages of Darryl, which had me break down, again. Sigh. He was so full of love.
They asked us to wait for the family to come down, so there was a row of people on either wall as they began to pass.
And in the most important moments of my life :
His mother was past.. and out of the hundreds of people whom lined the wall.. she stopped her journey to the room, and gave me a long, hard hug. She whispered in my ear "Matt.. just so you know Darryl always loved you."
It was the most important thing anyone has ever said to me, along with what his father told me later.
I whispered back "I loved him too. And I love you Rose. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me, specifically allowing me to be blessed enough to meet your son."
And we both began to cry as she made her way into the luncheon.
They let us go in shortly after that.
I had to be alone, so I tried to make my way outside, through the massive crowd. I saw many friends and parents who I stopped to give hugs or handshakes to. People I haven't seen in years, all reunited in love of this one boy.
I came back shortly afterwards.. and we got in line to give their family hugs before we departed.
I hugged his father, and he, reiterating what his mother said, told me "You always meant a lot to Darryl."
I take it as a huge compliment. I hold that entire family in the highest of regards, and to know that they do the same to me.. it's unexplainable.
We left shortly after that.
I cried the entire way home.
It should have been me. I should have been the one to go. He had so much to offer.. he had dreams, he had courage, he had bravery.. he had everything I lack.
I love you Darryl.
I was truly blessed just having known you.
You've left such a mark on all those people. You should be proud.
I'll never forget you.
You're my inspiration. My role model. My hero.
Rest in Peace.