For Verucasalt123: Slow on the Uptake
This is for verucasalt123 who asked for: Spike/Wes or Spike/Angel with plenty of smartassery and sassy-ness?
Ah, smartassery. My chosen medium.
This is Spike/Wes with hints of Spike/Angel.
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Slow on the Uptake
Fred slipped out of the booth at the back of the Cat and Fiddle, picking up her jacket. “Since Charles is going, I guess I’ll go, too.”
Spike followed her. “Aw, Fred, stay a while. Wes and I just got fresh beers.”
“No… you boys were probably just waiting for me to leave so you can talk about ‘football’.”
Spike pouted. “I can hear those quote marks, love. It wounds me.”
She gave him a playful punch. “Anyway, someone has to check on Angel.”
Spike rolled his eyes and dropped back into the booth. “If you keep checking up on him when he says he wants to be alone, you’re giving him what he wants and he’ll never stop being such a drama queen.”
Fred leaned over and gave Spike a peck on the cheek. “I’ll give him your love,” she said, and then gave Wes a peck too, and left.
Spike sighed heavily, sinking into his seat. “I can’t believe anyone falls for his broody loner routine. Angel’s about as antisocial as the clap.”
“There you go again,” Wes said.
Spike gave him a sidelong look. “Oh you’re not going to run to the bosses defense again, are you, head boy?”
Wesley’s smile was tight. “Does that threaten you?”
“Threaten me?”
“My taking an interest in Angel. Being close to him.”
“HA!”
“I give up. I’m just going to ask.” Wesley leaned over the table toward Spike.
Spike raised an eyebrow, and his pint glass. “This sounds serious.”
“ARE you and Angel shagging?”
Foam flew from the top of Spike’s beer. He coughed and set it down. “Are we WHAT?”
“Come off it. You know half the staff assumes you’re going at it like bonobos.”
Spike gaped, coughed, and all but fell out of the booth.
Wesley took a calm sip of his beer. “Well, that certainly looks like protesting too much.”
This had the hoped-for effect, in that Spike immediately sobered and sat up like an adult, hands clasped on the table. “Angel and I, I assure you, are many things, but shag-buddies is not one of them.”
“Well, you fight like an old married couple.”
“I find that insulting to the fine institution of marriage.”
Wes shook his head. “I can’t believe you are as shocked by my question as you pretend.”
“Me? Kiss Angel?”
“He’s an attractive man.”
“You’re bent.”
“And you’ve never kissed a man?”
Spike shrugged. “I’ve been in my twenties for a hundred years, pet. It’d be weird if I hadn’t.”
Wesley studied his drink. “There was a time I was very, very much interested in Angel, romantically.”
“Thank Christ you dodged that bullet!”
“So you HAVE been involved?”
“Didn’t say that.”
Wesley smirked and took another drink of his beer.
“Oi! I didn’t say that. I was speaking from the experience of watching all the poor bastards that DID sleep with the wanker.”
“But you never did.”
Spike shifted uncomfortably. “What difference does it make? He’s a joyless berk and I’m me and you’re not star-struck by him anymore. Are you?”
Wesley sighed. He shrugged. “I think I could have helped him. And, I suspect he’s a brilliant shag.”
“Heh. Yeah, he’s always been that. Uh… I mean…”
“Oh, I know precisely what you meant. Stop blushing, Spike. It’s unbecoming in a man of your age.”
“I don’t blush. I don’t think I’m even capable of it.”
“So Angel’s pretty good in the sack?”
“Piss off. I’m not feeding your wank material.”
Wes shrugged again. “It doesn’t have to be wank material. It could be foreplay.”
“Are you coming on to me?”
“Are all vampires this dense?”
Spike laughed, took an open-mouthed swallow of his beer, and slid closer to Wes on the booth seat. “I can be pretty quick on the uptake, compared to some.”
“Glaciers are quick compared to Angel noticing a pass.”
“Too right, that. His idea of a hint is grabbing his dick.”
Wesley slid a little closer. “You’re saying I should just take what I want?”
“Uh… are we still talking about Angel?”
“I don’t know.” Wesley’s hand dropped to Spike’s crotch and, finding something there, squeezed it. “What do you think?”
Spike’s eyelashes dropped against his cheeks, his breath came in sharp. “I think you’re learning how to be subtle like a vampire.”
“Oh, that’s very encouraging to hear.” Wesley’s clever fingers worked Spike quickly to full hardness. “Do you think Angel will like a demonstration?”
Spike’s hand covered Wesley’s, and he twisted slightly away from his ministrations. “Hold up there… what is this? Are you using me to get Angel jealous?”
“Would that bother you? Would that bother Angel?”
“You going to answer all my questions with questions?”
Wesley’s grin was predatory. “Do you want to find out?”
Spike stopped Wesley’s hands as they reached for him. “We’re in a public place.”
“And suddenly you’re a virgin.”
“Oi. Come on.”
Wesley sighed. “You idiot, the solution is patently obvious. We go back to mine.”
“Yeah?”
Wesley shifted up in his seat, made a cage of his arms around Spike, and gave him a sweet, beer-smelling kiss. “Is that clear enough for your innuendo-challenged mind?”
Spike wrapped his arms around Wesley’s waist. “Somewhat clear, but I think it would be better to go back to the office and see how slow on the uptake old Angel REALLY is.”
Wesley relaxed against Spike. “Now, at last, you are talking sensibly.”
“Not that I’m completely thick or anything but… we are going to shag like rabbits, yeah?”
“On Angel’s couch, if possible.”
“Good. Just checking.” Spike picked up his beer, downed the rest of it in a single swallow, and said, “Time’s wasting! Get the tab.”
Wesley sighed. “Well, there’s one thing I should have known to expect.” He drained off a good portion of his beer and left the rest.
Spike met him with a kiss as he stood from the booth. “Hang in there, watcher. I’ll make it worth your while.”
“You’re just excited to annoy Angel.”
“And you’re using that excitement to get the shag of your life, so don’t complain.”
“Don’t let your mouth write cheques your body can’t cash.”
“Oh, silly watcher, it’s my mouth that’ll cash them.” Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth and walked backward.
Wesley paid the tab very, very quickly. They ended up not making it back to the office right away, but rutting like teenagers in the alleyway beside the bar. Heat built between their bodies as they kissed, lips, teeth and tongues clashing, hands groping and grabbing. They kneaded each other’s asses and drove their groins together like their lives depended on it. Wesley barely got gasps of breath in here and there. Spike picked him up and pressed him against the wall, and it was a thrill to feel such easy strength. Cloth burned and rubbed but there was no time to worry about moving it out of the way, too much urgency even to unzip. Everything was heat and not enough and friction and…
Wesley cried out, feeling his orgasm spill through him, soaking his jeans.
He came slowly to his senses as his sticky groin cooled. His hands were on his knees, and the backs were scraped raw.
Spike laughed, leaning back against the grimy brick. He held his own wet jeans away from himself. “Look at us. Couple of kids.”
Wesley caught his breath and chuckled. “Perhaps… we should stop at mine after all, before we go to the office.”
“Whatever’s closest, mate.” Spike’s nose brushed the shell of his ear. “And now we can take our time and do things really, really filthy to each other.”
Wesley felt his cock twitch back to life. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“Yeah, well, us vampires, we might be slow on the uptake, but we stay up once we get there.” He winked and picked up Wesley’s hand.
“Thank goodness,” Wesley said, and let Spike lead him back to his apartment.
He almost felt sorry for Angel, imagining the show he was going to get. Almost.
THE END
Ah, smartassery. My chosen medium.
This is Spike/Wes with hints of Spike/Angel.
----
Slow on the Uptake
Fred slipped out of the booth at the back of the Cat and Fiddle, picking up her jacket. “Since Charles is going, I guess I’ll go, too.”
Spike followed her. “Aw, Fred, stay a while. Wes and I just got fresh beers.”
“No… you boys were probably just waiting for me to leave so you can talk about ‘football’.”
Spike pouted. “I can hear those quote marks, love. It wounds me.”
She gave him a playful punch. “Anyway, someone has to check on Angel.”
Spike rolled his eyes and dropped back into the booth. “If you keep checking up on him when he says he wants to be alone, you’re giving him what he wants and he’ll never stop being such a drama queen.”
Fred leaned over and gave Spike a peck on the cheek. “I’ll give him your love,” she said, and then gave Wes a peck too, and left.
Spike sighed heavily, sinking into his seat. “I can’t believe anyone falls for his broody loner routine. Angel’s about as antisocial as the clap.”
“There you go again,” Wes said.
Spike gave him a sidelong look. “Oh you’re not going to run to the bosses defense again, are you, head boy?”
Wesley’s smile was tight. “Does that threaten you?”
“Threaten me?”
“My taking an interest in Angel. Being close to him.”
“HA!”
“I give up. I’m just going to ask.” Wesley leaned over the table toward Spike.
Spike raised an eyebrow, and his pint glass. “This sounds serious.”
“ARE you and Angel shagging?”
Foam flew from the top of Spike’s beer. He coughed and set it down. “Are we WHAT?”
“Come off it. You know half the staff assumes you’re going at it like bonobos.”
Spike gaped, coughed, and all but fell out of the booth.
Wesley took a calm sip of his beer. “Well, that certainly looks like protesting too much.”
This had the hoped-for effect, in that Spike immediately sobered and sat up like an adult, hands clasped on the table. “Angel and I, I assure you, are many things, but shag-buddies is not one of them.”
“Well, you fight like an old married couple.”
“I find that insulting to the fine institution of marriage.”
Wes shook his head. “I can’t believe you are as shocked by my question as you pretend.”
“Me? Kiss Angel?”
“He’s an attractive man.”
“You’re bent.”
“And you’ve never kissed a man?”
Spike shrugged. “I’ve been in my twenties for a hundred years, pet. It’d be weird if I hadn’t.”
Wesley studied his drink. “There was a time I was very, very much interested in Angel, romantically.”
“Thank Christ you dodged that bullet!”
“So you HAVE been involved?”
“Didn’t say that.”
Wesley smirked and took another drink of his beer.
“Oi! I didn’t say that. I was speaking from the experience of watching all the poor bastards that DID sleep with the wanker.”
“But you never did.”
Spike shifted uncomfortably. “What difference does it make? He’s a joyless berk and I’m me and you’re not star-struck by him anymore. Are you?”
Wesley sighed. He shrugged. “I think I could have helped him. And, I suspect he’s a brilliant shag.”
“Heh. Yeah, he’s always been that. Uh… I mean…”
“Oh, I know precisely what you meant. Stop blushing, Spike. It’s unbecoming in a man of your age.”
“I don’t blush. I don’t think I’m even capable of it.”
“So Angel’s pretty good in the sack?”
“Piss off. I’m not feeding your wank material.”
Wes shrugged again. “It doesn’t have to be wank material. It could be foreplay.”
“Are you coming on to me?”
“Are all vampires this dense?”
Spike laughed, took an open-mouthed swallow of his beer, and slid closer to Wes on the booth seat. “I can be pretty quick on the uptake, compared to some.”
“Glaciers are quick compared to Angel noticing a pass.”
“Too right, that. His idea of a hint is grabbing his dick.”
Wesley slid a little closer. “You’re saying I should just take what I want?”
“Uh… are we still talking about Angel?”
“I don’t know.” Wesley’s hand dropped to Spike’s crotch and, finding something there, squeezed it. “What do you think?”
Spike’s eyelashes dropped against his cheeks, his breath came in sharp. “I think you’re learning how to be subtle like a vampire.”
“Oh, that’s very encouraging to hear.” Wesley’s clever fingers worked Spike quickly to full hardness. “Do you think Angel will like a demonstration?”
Spike’s hand covered Wesley’s, and he twisted slightly away from his ministrations. “Hold up there… what is this? Are you using me to get Angel jealous?”
“Would that bother you? Would that bother Angel?”
“You going to answer all my questions with questions?”
Wesley’s grin was predatory. “Do you want to find out?”
Spike stopped Wesley’s hands as they reached for him. “We’re in a public place.”
“And suddenly you’re a virgin.”
“Oi. Come on.”
Wesley sighed. “You idiot, the solution is patently obvious. We go back to mine.”
“Yeah?”
Wesley shifted up in his seat, made a cage of his arms around Spike, and gave him a sweet, beer-smelling kiss. “Is that clear enough for your innuendo-challenged mind?”
Spike wrapped his arms around Wesley’s waist. “Somewhat clear, but I think it would be better to go back to the office and see how slow on the uptake old Angel REALLY is.”
Wesley relaxed against Spike. “Now, at last, you are talking sensibly.”
“Not that I’m completely thick or anything but… we are going to shag like rabbits, yeah?”
“On Angel’s couch, if possible.”
“Good. Just checking.” Spike picked up his beer, downed the rest of it in a single swallow, and said, “Time’s wasting! Get the tab.”
Wesley sighed. “Well, there’s one thing I should have known to expect.” He drained off a good portion of his beer and left the rest.
Spike met him with a kiss as he stood from the booth. “Hang in there, watcher. I’ll make it worth your while.”
“You’re just excited to annoy Angel.”
“And you’re using that excitement to get the shag of your life, so don’t complain.”
“Don’t let your mouth write cheques your body can’t cash.”
“Oh, silly watcher, it’s my mouth that’ll cash them.” Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth and walked backward.
Wesley paid the tab very, very quickly. They ended up not making it back to the office right away, but rutting like teenagers in the alleyway beside the bar. Heat built between their bodies as they kissed, lips, teeth and tongues clashing, hands groping and grabbing. They kneaded each other’s asses and drove their groins together like their lives depended on it. Wesley barely got gasps of breath in here and there. Spike picked him up and pressed him against the wall, and it was a thrill to feel such easy strength. Cloth burned and rubbed but there was no time to worry about moving it out of the way, too much urgency even to unzip. Everything was heat and not enough and friction and…
Wesley cried out, feeling his orgasm spill through him, soaking his jeans.
He came slowly to his senses as his sticky groin cooled. His hands were on his knees, and the backs were scraped raw.
Spike laughed, leaning back against the grimy brick. He held his own wet jeans away from himself. “Look at us. Couple of kids.”
Wesley caught his breath and chuckled. “Perhaps… we should stop at mine after all, before we go to the office.”
“Whatever’s closest, mate.” Spike’s nose brushed the shell of his ear. “And now we can take our time and do things really, really filthy to each other.”
Wesley felt his cock twitch back to life. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“Yeah, well, us vampires, we might be slow on the uptake, but we stay up once we get there.” He winked and picked up Wesley’s hand.
“Thank goodness,” Wesley said, and let Spike lead him back to his apartment.
He almost felt sorry for Angel, imagining the show he was going to get. Almost.
THE END