The Artifact: Chapter Seven
Let's just see how Buffy's plan works out, shall we?
Chapter One Here
Chapter Seven: The Dinner Party
It was odd, having the slayer play gin rummy with him using his homemade set of cards. He both hoped and feared she’d notice her resemblance to the queen of spades. Probably not. He couldn’t draw worth shite.
“Is this a dog?” she asked.
“Uh, s’posed to be the ace of clubs.” Yeah. The illustration world was safe from his competition.
“And that means that this makes gin.” She fanned her cards out smugly. Buffy was just… chatting with him. She still said “ew” or called him a pig whenever he made a joke, but the heat was missing from it. She even cracked a few jokes herself.
“Time’s up.” One of the house boys held the curtain open. When Buffy didn’t hop to, he said, “No additional time is available for purchase. Julla is on her way.”
Buffy looked at Spike. “Who’s Julla?”
“Just go, love.”
Buffy left, reluctantly, the house boy shooing her all the way. It was a more brusque way of dealing with lingering clients than Spike had seen before, but then, the madam had no reason to curry Buffy’s favor.
Julla looked him up and down. “You’re looking well-rested.”
“So you want to ask me what we talked about? Report to Wrella?”
“Speaking without permission now?”
Julla was the nicest of the mistresses, so he knew he could get away with a wry eyebrow raise. “Punish me. Please.”
“Be quiet. I’m trying to think. No matter how much money I get out of you today, Wrella is going to complain I could have gotten more, but I don’t want you too damaged for the supper party tonight.” She took hold of his arm and turned him in front of her. “That last one was rough with you. No more of that. Try, just try for once, not to be so insolent. Seduce the customers. Convince them they want pleasure over pain.”
“Oi! I’m always nice. It’s the big bad men can’t keep their fists off me.”
“I wonder why.” She started fussing with the lay of his toga, which he sodding hated. It was only going to shift when he walked anyway. “I hope for your sake you weren’t talking escape plans with your former owner. Wrella would adore that. It’d be our only hope of invalidating the claim.”
She caught his eye and Spike felt his throat turn dry, but she just dropped the toga edge and slapped him on the ass. “Get downstairs and flirt. I’ll be pulling you in about an hour.”
***
The villa was lit with a thousand magical lanterns, music seeming to form of its own accord in the corridors and under the swaying trees overlooking the veranda.
“Well, that was humiliating,” Giles said, adjusting the lay of the servant’s toga he’d put on over his suit. His suitcase was secreted inside a cart loaded with what he hoped were snacks. The first cart they’d tried to steal had an entirely different, more intimate purpose for its contents. The matronly caterer had loved that. When his polite rebuffs had failed, Buffy had to practically peel her off of him.
“It could have been worse.” Buffy fidgeted with her own bad disguise. “Now we just have to find Spike.”
“That might be, sadly, simple.” Giles gestured toward a garden pavilion, from which emanated laughter, groans, and grunts of a particularly obscene nature.
Buffy blanched. “Ew. Um. Arm wrestle you for it?”
Giles gave her a look worthy of that suggestion. “YOU are the one who wanted to rescue him.”
“Yes, but I’m young and impressionable and who knows what I’ll see in there!” Buffy batted her eyes in an unfairly innocent expression.
Giles stared at the pavilion for a while. The sounds weren’t getting any quieter. Giles sighed. “Coin toss?”
***
It took a while for Buffy to realize what she was even looking at. A mass of bodies interlocked to form a sort of carpet of limbs inside the pavilion, which was rank with sweat and musk. Helplessly, she tried to scan for familiar features - it was like a pornographic ‘where’s waldo’. Heads bobbing, hips flexing… that was… Buffy wasn’t sure what that was. She inched back toward the curtain she’d lifted to enter.
“No! Where are you going, beautiful boy?” A woman shrieked. Buffy saw Spike then, rising out of the mass, pretty much completely naked, two arms twined around his waist.
“To get you a special surprise, love. You’ll thank me.” He looked directly at Buffy.
Buffy hurried out into the fresh night air. Giles peered at her from behind a column. “Did you see him?”
There was no way to answer that question adequately. “He’s coming.”
There was a loud slap, and a laugh, and Spike stumbled out and on top of Giles’ cart. Buffy grabbed him like he was about to fall off a cliff. “Giles!”
The world went white, and then they were back in the magic shop. Once again, Willow gasped in shock and dropped her bundle of herbs.
“You really never get used to that,” Willow muttered, picking up her materials.
Buffy was standing over Spike, fingers digging into his bicep. She quickly let go.
Spike looked down at the marks her fingers had left in his skin. Then he looked up at her, and around the room. “Well,” he said, and got fluidly to his feet. “Wrella’s going to be narked about losing all this jewelry.” He pulled a ring off and tossed it at Buffy, who caught it on instinct. “Ta. I’ll see myself out.”
“Spike!” Willow stood. “Uh… you’re, like, naked.”
Spike glanced down. He turned in place. He was indeed, stark naked, if you didn’t count the bracelets, anklets, and gems studding his body in some pretty creative places. Buffy realized what she was staring at and averted her eyes.
Spike said, “Yeah. Right. Don’t suppose you’ve got a coat I can borrow, Rupert?”
There was a crash of Giles getting disentangled from the cart. “Let us all promise never, NEVER to do that again.”
Xander was staring, then caught himself and cringed back with hands up to block the view. “Gah! How long were you in there?”
“Couple years. Don’t worry. Didn’t get engaged or anything. Though I had offers.”
Giles slipped his toga off over his head and tossed it at Spike. “Cover yourself.”
“What kind of dimension WAS this?” Willow asked, staring at Spike. Tara, next to her, gently put a hand over her eyes.
Spike looked smug, tying the toga with a little flourish next to his hip. He gave Tara a lascivious wink and sauntered toward the door.
Buffy said, “Wait. You can’t just…”
The bell over the door tingled as Spike opened it. And then as he shut it. “Right. Daylight.” He breezed back through them to the basement stairs. “Think I remember the way.”
Buffy followed him into the basement. She grabbed his arm.
He stopped, looking down at her hand. “Don’t you think I’ve had enough being detained against my will?”
Buffy let go. “I’m sorry. It’s just… you can’t just walk away.”
“Watch me.” He flicked the top of his toga like he would his coat and turned.
Buffy… watched him. And wished she hadn’t. He looked so pale and helpless and naked, padding barefoot down the cinderblock stairs to the sewer tunnel.
Continued >>
Chapter One Here
Chapter Seven: The Dinner Party
It was odd, having the slayer play gin rummy with him using his homemade set of cards. He both hoped and feared she’d notice her resemblance to the queen of spades. Probably not. He couldn’t draw worth shite.
“Is this a dog?” she asked.
“Uh, s’posed to be the ace of clubs.” Yeah. The illustration world was safe from his competition.
“And that means that this makes gin.” She fanned her cards out smugly. Buffy was just… chatting with him. She still said “ew” or called him a pig whenever he made a joke, but the heat was missing from it. She even cracked a few jokes herself.
“Time’s up.” One of the house boys held the curtain open. When Buffy didn’t hop to, he said, “No additional time is available for purchase. Julla is on her way.”
Buffy looked at Spike. “Who’s Julla?”
“Just go, love.”
Buffy left, reluctantly, the house boy shooing her all the way. It was a more brusque way of dealing with lingering clients than Spike had seen before, but then, the madam had no reason to curry Buffy’s favor.
Julla looked him up and down. “You’re looking well-rested.”
“So you want to ask me what we talked about? Report to Wrella?”
“Speaking without permission now?”
Julla was the nicest of the mistresses, so he knew he could get away with a wry eyebrow raise. “Punish me. Please.”
“Be quiet. I’m trying to think. No matter how much money I get out of you today, Wrella is going to complain I could have gotten more, but I don’t want you too damaged for the supper party tonight.” She took hold of his arm and turned him in front of her. “That last one was rough with you. No more of that. Try, just try for once, not to be so insolent. Seduce the customers. Convince them they want pleasure over pain.”
“Oi! I’m always nice. It’s the big bad men can’t keep their fists off me.”
“I wonder why.” She started fussing with the lay of his toga, which he sodding hated. It was only going to shift when he walked anyway. “I hope for your sake you weren’t talking escape plans with your former owner. Wrella would adore that. It’d be our only hope of invalidating the claim.”
She caught his eye and Spike felt his throat turn dry, but she just dropped the toga edge and slapped him on the ass. “Get downstairs and flirt. I’ll be pulling you in about an hour.”
***
The villa was lit with a thousand magical lanterns, music seeming to form of its own accord in the corridors and under the swaying trees overlooking the veranda.
“Well, that was humiliating,” Giles said, adjusting the lay of the servant’s toga he’d put on over his suit. His suitcase was secreted inside a cart loaded with what he hoped were snacks. The first cart they’d tried to steal had an entirely different, more intimate purpose for its contents. The matronly caterer had loved that. When his polite rebuffs had failed, Buffy had to practically peel her off of him.
“It could have been worse.” Buffy fidgeted with her own bad disguise. “Now we just have to find Spike.”
“That might be, sadly, simple.” Giles gestured toward a garden pavilion, from which emanated laughter, groans, and grunts of a particularly obscene nature.
Buffy blanched. “Ew. Um. Arm wrestle you for it?”
Giles gave her a look worthy of that suggestion. “YOU are the one who wanted to rescue him.”
“Yes, but I’m young and impressionable and who knows what I’ll see in there!” Buffy batted her eyes in an unfairly innocent expression.
Giles stared at the pavilion for a while. The sounds weren’t getting any quieter. Giles sighed. “Coin toss?”
***
It took a while for Buffy to realize what she was even looking at. A mass of bodies interlocked to form a sort of carpet of limbs inside the pavilion, which was rank with sweat and musk. Helplessly, she tried to scan for familiar features - it was like a pornographic ‘where’s waldo’. Heads bobbing, hips flexing… that was… Buffy wasn’t sure what that was. She inched back toward the curtain she’d lifted to enter.
“No! Where are you going, beautiful boy?” A woman shrieked. Buffy saw Spike then, rising out of the mass, pretty much completely naked, two arms twined around his waist.
“To get you a special surprise, love. You’ll thank me.” He looked directly at Buffy.
Buffy hurried out into the fresh night air. Giles peered at her from behind a column. “Did you see him?”
There was no way to answer that question adequately. “He’s coming.”
There was a loud slap, and a laugh, and Spike stumbled out and on top of Giles’ cart. Buffy grabbed him like he was about to fall off a cliff. “Giles!”
The world went white, and then they were back in the magic shop. Once again, Willow gasped in shock and dropped her bundle of herbs.
“You really never get used to that,” Willow muttered, picking up her materials.
Buffy was standing over Spike, fingers digging into his bicep. She quickly let go.
Spike looked down at the marks her fingers had left in his skin. Then he looked up at her, and around the room. “Well,” he said, and got fluidly to his feet. “Wrella’s going to be narked about losing all this jewelry.” He pulled a ring off and tossed it at Buffy, who caught it on instinct. “Ta. I’ll see myself out.”
“Spike!” Willow stood. “Uh… you’re, like, naked.”
Spike glanced down. He turned in place. He was indeed, stark naked, if you didn’t count the bracelets, anklets, and gems studding his body in some pretty creative places. Buffy realized what she was staring at and averted her eyes.
Spike said, “Yeah. Right. Don’t suppose you’ve got a coat I can borrow, Rupert?”
There was a crash of Giles getting disentangled from the cart. “Let us all promise never, NEVER to do that again.”
Xander was staring, then caught himself and cringed back with hands up to block the view. “Gah! How long were you in there?”
“Couple years. Don’t worry. Didn’t get engaged or anything. Though I had offers.”
Giles slipped his toga off over his head and tossed it at Spike. “Cover yourself.”
“What kind of dimension WAS this?” Willow asked, staring at Spike. Tara, next to her, gently put a hand over her eyes.
Spike looked smug, tying the toga with a little flourish next to his hip. He gave Tara a lascivious wink and sauntered toward the door.
Buffy said, “Wait. You can’t just…”
The bell over the door tingled as Spike opened it. And then as he shut it. “Right. Daylight.” He breezed back through them to the basement stairs. “Think I remember the way.”
Buffy followed him into the basement. She grabbed his arm.
He stopped, looking down at her hand. “Don’t you think I’ve had enough being detained against my will?”
Buffy let go. “I’m sorry. It’s just… you can’t just walk away.”
“Watch me.” He flicked the top of his toga like he would his coat and turned.
Buffy… watched him. And wished she hadn’t. He looked so pale and helpless and naked, padding barefoot down the cinderblock stairs to the sewer tunnel.
Continued >>