Memorandum #1.

[hello_zukohere]

Oh, how alarming this all is! I fear I may just faint at the thought.

...

Someone! Fetch me a ham sandwich!
Or perhaps some hay, if there's none to be had. There is of course nothing like eating that when you're faint.

Comments

[scroll_heir]

Oh, Lord.

The Lord of White~

How do you fare, white lord of lords? Thinking of becoming a horse while eating some hay?

[hello_zukohere]

A horse? Nay! Or no, I should say. Still, I could do with some hay.

Speaking of horses, where have mine gone to? And what of my men? Such a time for them to be wandering off!

Oh, Lord, indeed.

[scroll_heir]

You're as terrible a king as that fool King of Hearts.

If you're looking for your men, they went right.

And left.

Indeed, you should begin looking for them before they eat all the ham and hay!

[hello_zukohere]

Right? And left? Poppycock. To and fro is the only manner in which they may move. Or perhaps just fro. That all depends on the man. I did not ask about my castles nor my dear Queen, silly cat.

And of my horses?

What a crisis, what an imperial mess. My word, how utterly dizzying. WILL NO ONE GIVE ME MY SANDWICH?!

[abovetwinsuns]

You think to demand of the people!? You are a coward, a tyrant, someone not fit to rule!

[hello_zukohere]

C-Coward? Why I-!

Oh heavens, no. Things would never get done, were I only to think.

[abovetwinsuns]

And think you shall, when the sword of the people is at your throat!

[hello_zukohere]

Well yes, I imagine thinking would be the first step. But how unfortunate for these people, to have but one sword among them! Surely you agree this is an issue much more dire than the one you seem to have with my need for a sandwich.

[bamf_inthenight]

I must confess I've never been found myself so faint as to be drooling over a clump of that dryish hay stuff.
Works well, does it?

[hello_zukohere]

I never said it worked well. Though, there is nothing like it.

[bamf_inthenight]

I'm sure there isn't, freund.
You're sure there's no ham left then? Ravishing and plundering is terrifically hard work.

[hello_zukohere]

Quite right.

Then, and now. Surely if there was some to be had I'd have my sandwich by now. Or perhaps it is my men that have gone missing. The knaves.

aaaaggghhh, the fail~

[acciopeaches]

Ah, my dear! My dear, dear Ki-i-i-ing!

Perhaps if you divide a loaf by a knife, you shall be left with your beloved ham sandwich!

LIES~ There is no fail here <3!!

[hello_zukohere]

My sweet! Oh, what a dreadful time this is. I fear not even a loaf may be had.

To think I must take it upon myself to make, or even find, a ham sandwich. Preposterous!

<33333! I am now speaking in a faux British accent~

[acciopeaches]

No loaf of bread? Oh dear, oh dear, oh de-e-ear! How then shall I acquire my bread-and-butter? What lies... what treachery... dare I say this place is madder than Wonderland?

Ah, my most majestic and white King, do not fret! I am certain one of our subjects shall be glad to prepare a sandwich for you. Or else.

This is wonderful~ They need to meet up at the party tooooo!! <3

[hello_zukohere]

Quite. Logic is completely lost in this land. ... Perhaps we should seek to find it. Or send a search party, at the very least.

And here is another problem! It seems they have gone missing, as well.