I was reading a thriller before sleeping last night and it gave me a terrible nightmare just one hour into my sleep. I think I had sleep paralysis again, the kind that locks you down; but in retrospect I have no idea if that was the dream as well. Anyhow, I jolted out of my sleep and as always my first instinct was to bolt out of my room. So I did ( Read more... )

These fainting spells on trains have to cease immediately! Most traumatizing experience this morning, when I was on the way to school alone. The distance between stops never felt so long; I never made it out like I told myself to. I am still worried about just what is wrong with me. I just blacked out on a crowded train for no apparent reasons ( Read more... )

I've been looking back at my past entries and it is incredibly hard to imagine those were proses I wrote. It was as if for each different entry I was a different person at a different point in time. I've found little notes tucked away in my phone or around my table, little sentences of my thoughts and feelings. I don't recognize those words. Some ( Read more... )

Dear Stranger,

Things got stranger and stranger. So we became strangers. It is hard to imagine that before this we were something. Before that, friends. Before all of that, first of all, completely unknowing of each other's existence. I guess it's an improvement now isn't it. We know we exist now. Did we wish we didn't? Will we cross each other's ( Read more... )

6am. There is wind, but the air is dense with humidity. The sky outside looks surreally, promisingly red, hinting rain. For the past half a month, my habits have taken an extreme topple. Somedays I only eat supper. McDelivery at 2am three nights in a row. I sleep just when the sun is rising. I love it this way. I hate early mornings, where everyone ( Read more... )

"She reluctantly accepted suffering as an inevitable component of deep passion.." -- Vicky Cristina Barcelona

This is insanity. I fall asleep when dawn is breaking pondering upon all of these: Can you sleep, or sleep easy, if you knew you've stolen hours and hours of mine away? Can you laugh when you've taken my joy? Are you completely, wholly and ( Read more... )

Memories and musings are an insomniac's... nightmare.

We were like a shooting star. Dazzling. Beautiful. We blitzed across the dark sky, lighting up dark corners of our souls. It was extraordinary, to be travelling across the universe with you, just you. We left a trail of stardust where we went, little memories tucked in the places we visited, in the things that we did. It was kismet that allowed our ( Read more... )

5.02am. I am on my bed, comfortably settled. The windows are right beside me where I can look up and out of it without having to move an inch. I've looked at the skies from this angle for years. Now the skies are an inky red, and the wind, it blows into my room. It is a little cold, but so comfortable and surreally so. The guitar strums and oddly ( Read more... )

Evening. I sit here with a gently darkening room with only a table lamp on, notes all askew. The tennis coach's voice, the various birds making their last calls, the laughter and screams from the children in the playground all journey 13 floors up and into my room. They surround me as if their voices are coming out of a high quality music player; ( Read more... )