so today i was waiting in the line at giant eagle and i was just noticing how especially artificial and assembly line-ish this particular line was at this particular moment, something that would normally just amuse me in that "god how stupid it is being in such a scripted american materialistic culture" kind of way, but for some unknown reason, ( Read more... )

i had an adam night tonight. i needed it. i hadn't seen him in practically a month. i needed adam time. just someone to sit down and talk to and not have to apologize for the fact that i hadn't seen them in a while, or deal with any of that bullshit. i appreciate those people who are able to be friends with someone no matter how long its been ( Read more... )

last night i got to see marielle, brea, briana lane, and chris pureka play, which was so wonderful. the show just kind of flowed together so you got to be in this three hour state of mellowness and awe. not to mention brea did a bryan adams sing-a-long and so i got to hold up giant cue cards for the audience to read from, but better than that i ( Read more... )

i went to new york with choir over the weekend. the last thing i wanted to do was spend my time with a bunch of people i had to pretend to get along with for an entire weekend when i had actual work to do and people i really care about to see. the only good thing that came from it was my first trip to little italy. not exactly a european market ( Read more... )

i don't know whats worth it or how to make it different. how do you explain something to someone who doesn't even seem to understand what you are saying? when you push yourself in two directions i don't know how you figure out where you'll end up ( Read more... )

saturday was the pink party. it was fantastic until it got busted! its a shame too, the cops just came and kicked everyone out, and it was only like 1:30. i was all ready for more fun! it was my first busted party where i was 21 though. that is kinda exciting. i was all kinds of fucked up, i shoved my id in the cops face and said im 21 like ( Read more... )

fucking negative feedback loop.

im gonna die minutes after he does. as soon as my memory catches up with me, ill realize and drop to the floor. my whole body will just give up.

i hope i have a memory. i won't want to go through that more than once.

so yesterday i got to go to a luncheon and discussion with eve ensler. discussion...right. i didn't realize that meant listening to the art director of city theatre ask her scripted questions to which she replied scripted answer while the rich old "feminists" of pittsburgh grabbed at her every word and then asked, "So if I were in Iran, I would ( Read more... )

i think national depression is leading to an overall need for euphoria. im taking everything i know about 1965 to 1977 and re-enacting it with my friends ( Read more... )

the only living boy in new york.