That's why we watch news

[helloreplace]

Dear Newscasters,

Please refrain from using the non-descriptive phrase "You can not even imagine" in your broadcasts. My inability to imagine the events of the world is a given, and the sole reason I tune in to your broadcast. You are allegedly a trained observer, whom I rely on to convey the things I am not prescient enough to divine, so please

Comments

[owenthomas]

Up next, newscasters omitting verbs. Using gerunds instead of verbs. Driving me crazy!

[rpkrajewski]

Or, if you can't use words, say nothing instead of filling up empty space. (See "Keep it simple.")

[marm0t]

poor martin savidge - they always send him on the dangerous/sad/scary assignments. i watched him reporting from london in the wake of the subway bombings, too. just once i'd like to see martin savidge reporting live from the olympics or the county fair's pie-eating contest or the heretofore undiscovered pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. he deserves it.

[helloreplace]

I know! But I love him - he's so uptight and old school and he never disappoints, although when they cut to him I imagine them saying "And now we go live to 1975 with Martin Savidge."

[karmasuckredux]

I was watching some CNN talking head (can't remember which one she was) this morning interviewing a guy in Biloxi who's house had been largely spared, while other houses in the neighborhood were completely destroyed. She kept saying, "It's just a miracle. A miracle!"

I can think of better definitions of "miracle" than a storm destroying 29 out 30 homes, rather than all 30.

[nothing_sparrow]

haha you rock *adds*