Today is turning out to be a busy day. Already I've had to meet and greet Mr's Pryce and MacDonald. A job that normally would have been delegated to some lesser demon if said lesser demons were not already up in the living realm beating Angel and his merry band to a pulp
( ... )
I was late, again. I was certain Ram wouldn't be happy with that. This was the second meeting I'd miss that day. Not my fault that I got more satisfaction out of watching the carnage on Earth. Really, now.
I'd considered making a flashy entrance. You know, the sort with explosions and smoke? Then again, I'd only succeed in destroying valuable records, and scaring the mortal off. Oh, and making Ram even angrier. Instead, I just ended up appearing behind her, grinning like the proverbial village idiot. "Hello! Sorry I'm late and all. Is it here yet?"
As I spiraled deeper and deeper into my thoughts, the stacks seemed to pass faster. A gift and a curse, that. Even silly little musings brought me back to my memories. I'd start off thinking about D+D, and then I'd remember the day I met Fred, and how she ascended and became Illyria, and that would lead to...
The day I died.
Dammit.
I guess that was the point of hell. You weren't supposed to be happy and all that. But it really wasn't the place that made me unhappy, I think. I was just being a miserable person. The fact that I was dead just irked me, you know? And the God-King didn't even try to slow down time, or pull me aside, or...
I wasn't being fair. How could anyone know that Wesley Wyndham Pryce was a complete nut?
Forcing myself to smile, I continued toward my destination. Wherever that was.
You'd think that after millenia living with my dearest sister that I would be used to be. But apparently not. I started like the startled doe when Wolf's voice cheerily 'Hello'-ed just behind me.
I whirled round to glare at her. It is a glare that has reduced many a looming, hulking demon to proverbial putty in my hands. Yet for some reason it never works on Wolf. She just stands there with that inane grin on her face.
"One of these days," I hiss, "I will turn you into a fox just before the local hunt sets off from." I snort and feel a little better. "And 'it' is over there."
I point to where Mr Knox is wending his way towards us.
"Why don't you do the honours. Although please try not to terrify him into a coma before we get a word in."
"Wolf," I acidly point out, "I cannot hold a conversation with a... with..." I poke the creature with my foot and it cowers even lower. "A Senior Partner offering a position to a fox, I'll never live this down. Can he even understand us?"
I cock my head on one side and gaze steadily into those bright black eyes. They do seem relatively intelligent, I suppose. Ah well, what the heck. What's there to lose?
"Mr Knox," I begin, trying to sound as serious and sincere as one can be when holding conversation with a mass of red fur that barely reaches your knee, "my sister and I are here to offer you a second chance. With us, with Wolfram and Hart. You betrayed us for The Illyria, which whilst incredibly foolish, does speak of some speck of courage and balls on your part. A characteristic we do like to have in members of our team. Providing, of course, that they've learnt from their past mistakes."
I really wanted to yell out something like "I'm in hell!" or "I wish I could curl up and die just about now", but that would've been redundant and cliche. After all, I was dead and in hell, and apparently a fox, so I suppose even if I had yelled any of that out, it wouldn't have come out quite human
( ... )
Wow, I wished I could have some mortal technology at this point. This'd be perfect blackmail, against...someone! Ram talking to a fox like he was intelligent. (Which he was. Technically.)
Who knew, she could be talking to doorknobs or beetles next?
"Ram, darling sister?" I said, voice rumbling slightly, "He doesn't speak human anymore. I'm not sure his foxy voicebox can quite wrap itself around even the vowel sounds." I patted little Knox, grinning devilishly. "Perhaps he doesn't know what fox-sounds to make to accept, or decline, our proposition." I hoped by the tone of my voice, he knew enough not to decline the deal.
Well, I really didn't mind if he did. He'd make a cute pet. I mean, he was a step away from being a mortal pet, but those tended to get themselves killed or snark at me. Either way, the end result was the same.
A few centuries ago and that condescending tone might have needled me. But I have grown past that stage of pettiness. So I merely narrow my eyes and give her a freezing stare before turning back to the fox. I mean Knox. The Fox!Knox? Hell, I have no idea what call him now.
"Who says he needs to make a sound?" I point out, reasonably. "And besides, surely we know the answer. Any creature with even one braincell wouldn't even dream of trying to turn down our generous offer."
I smile down at the fox. This little soul belongs to us now, utterly and completely. Why we let him think he has any real free will down here is simply because it's amusing. I bend down and brush the tips of my fingers over that burnished red fur. So very fragile.
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I'd considered making a flashy entrance. You know, the sort with explosions and smoke? Then again, I'd only succeed in destroying valuable records, and scaring the mortal off. Oh, and making Ram even angrier. Instead, I just ended up appearing behind her, grinning like the proverbial village idiot. "Hello! Sorry I'm late and all. Is it here yet?"
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The day I died.
Dammit.
I guess that was the point of hell. You weren't supposed to be happy and all that. But it really wasn't the place that made me unhappy, I think. I was just being a miserable person. The fact that I was dead just irked me, you know? And the God-King didn't even try to slow down time, or pull me aside, or...
I wasn't being fair. How could anyone know that Wesley Wyndham Pryce was a complete nut?
Forcing myself to smile, I continued toward my destination. Wherever that was.
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I whirled round to glare at her. It is a glare that has reduced many a looming, hulking demon to proverbial putty in my hands. Yet for some reason it never works on Wolf. She just stands there with that inane grin on her face.
"One of these days," I hiss, "I will turn you into a fox just before the local hunt sets off from." I snort and feel a little better. "And 'it' is over there."
I point to where Mr Knox is wending his way towards us.
"Why don't you do the honours. Although please try not to terrify him into a coma before we get a word in."
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She cannot be serious.
"Wolf," I acidly point out, "I cannot hold a conversation with a... with..." I poke the creature with my foot and it cowers even lower. "A Senior Partner offering a position to a fox, I'll never live this down. Can he even understand us?"
I cock my head on one side and gaze steadily into those bright black eyes. They do seem relatively intelligent, I suppose. Ah well, what the heck. What's there to lose?
"Mr Knox," I begin, trying to sound as serious and sincere as one can be when holding conversation with a mass of red fur that barely reaches your knee, "my sister and I are here to offer you a second chance. With us, with Wolfram and Hart. You betrayed us for The Illyria, which whilst incredibly foolish, does speak of some speck of courage and balls on your part. A characteristic we do like to have in members of our team. Providing, of course, that they've learnt from their past mistakes."
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Who knew, she could be talking to doorknobs or beetles next?
"Ram, darling sister?" I said, voice rumbling slightly, "He doesn't speak human anymore. I'm not sure his foxy voicebox can quite wrap itself around even the vowel sounds." I patted little Knox, grinning devilishly. "Perhaps he doesn't know what fox-sounds to make to accept, or decline, our proposition." I hoped by the tone of my voice, he knew enough not to decline the deal.
Well, I really didn't mind if he did. He'd make a cute pet. I mean, he was a step away from being a mortal pet, but those tended to get themselves killed or snark at me. Either way, the end result was the same.
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"Who says he needs to make a sound?" I point out, reasonably. "And besides, surely we know the answer. Any creature with even one braincell wouldn't even dream of trying to turn down our generous offer."
I smile down at the fox. This little soul belongs to us now, utterly and completely. Why we let him think he has any real free will down here is simply because it's amusing. I bend down and brush the tips of my fingers over that burnished red fur. So very fragile.
"Isn't that so, Mr Knox?"
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