Is that a can of worms?
anonymous
October 27 2010, 11:05:51 UTC
First off, Guccione -- too soon!
Worst movie of all time -- Feast III. 'Feast' might actually be the worst trilogy of movies of all time -- the first one was marginally watchable. The two sequels meet the legal definition of obscenity in most jurisdictions.
Worst movie of all time, both in original and remade forms: The Wicker Man.
Other terrible movies include: Killer Pad, Carnival of Souls, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, The Crazies (the original), Choke, Evil Bong/Evil Bong 2, S. Darko, Big Shot, Videodrome, The Spirit, Hamlet 2, Evita, City of Ember, All In, Lady in the Lake, Redbelt, The Onion Movie, I Know Who Killed Me, The Illusionist, Clerks 2, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, The Constant Gardener, Cube Zero, Alien vs. Predator. I could go on, of course.
How could you hate Allan Quartermain? You need to see the Director's Cut -- no dialogue and an extra ninety minutes of close-ups of a young and smoking hot Sharon Stone. Time is the enemy, my friend. Gravity too, I guess.
"Worst movie" is a tough one to pin down, because I think there needs to be a line drawn between "deliberately bad movie" and "somebody was actually trying." As an example, let's take the only movie on the esteemed Lawyah's list that I've actually seen: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. I don't believe it even remotely possible that the creators of that...work...were actually trying to make a movie, in the sense of actually telling a story for entertainment purposes. It's not even a parody, directly -- it's more of a parody of the idea of a movie. They deliberately made something that people would point at and say "I can't believe somebody actually made that." So it succeeds in what the creators were trying to do. How do you judge that against something like, say, Judge Dredd, in which the creators were obviously attempting to create an action movie, and failed on an apocalyptic scale?
Complicating matters is something like Plan 9 from Outer Space, which any rational viewer would have to conclude was intentionally awful, yet all
( ... )
'And since it’s been awhile, let’s review the Official Rules:
• It cannot be intentionally horrible. • It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (No “outsider art.”) • It cannot be Glitter. (Or Crossroads.) • It has to have had a theatrical release. • It must be available on Netflix. • No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero. • No musicals...'
This should answer many of the questions. Netflix rule was a later add, since many truly horrid ones don't make it that far - the important ones are that it cannot be intentionally bad, and has to be a real theatre release.
Thanks for fixing the link -- the reviews are a lot funnier when I've seen the movie in question. And seeing the rules is quite helpful too, and (fortunately) eliminates most of Boston's list.
I don't think you've really thought this through.hells_satansOctober 29 2010, 11:05:54 UTC
Are you trying to find the "worst" movie, or a movie merely so bad that you titter at it like a bemused schoolgirl while you watch? Let's walk through an example:
BL: "Which is the worse movie? Hudson Hawk or Feast III?"
Overconfidence: "Well, Hudson Hawk has A-list/B-list actors and a theatrical release. It must be the worse movie, QED."
BL: "Are you on crack?"
Overconfidence: "Once again, your witty riposte has demonstrated the folly of my ways."
BL: "No biggie, bro. Want to reenact the Parmenides? Dibs on Zeno."
I'll agree to Rules #1, #3 and #5. The remaining rules should be read disjunctively and, fyi, every single one of my recommendations is available through Netflix -> "Gotta [watch] 'em all."
Even if you're going to try and push Rule #2, you should be clear that you evaluate Rule #2 at the time of the release and not later. "The Lords of Flatbush" was a bad movie even before Stallone became an A-lister/B-lister.
Comments 8
Worst movie of all time -- Feast III. 'Feast' might actually be the worst trilogy of movies of all time -- the first one was marginally watchable. The two sequels meet the legal definition of obscenity in most jurisdictions.
Worst movie of all time, both in original and remade forms: The Wicker Man.
Other terrible movies include: Killer Pad, Carnival of Souls, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, The Crazies (the original), Choke, Evil Bong/Evil Bong 2, S. Darko, Big Shot, Videodrome, The Spirit, Hamlet 2, Evita, City of Ember, All In, Lady in the Lake, Redbelt, The Onion Movie, I Know Who Killed Me, The Illusionist, Clerks 2, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, The Constant Gardener, Cube Zero, Alien vs. Predator. I could go on, of course.
How could you hate Allan Quartermain? You need to see the Director's Cut -- no dialogue and an extra ninety minutes of close-ups of a young and smoking hot Sharon Stone. Time is the enemy, my friend. Gravity too, I guess.
Bahstan Lawyah
Reply
Complicating matters is something like Plan 9 from Outer Space, which any rational viewer would have to conclude was intentionally awful, yet all ( ... )
Reply
• It cannot be intentionally horrible.
• It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (No “outsider art.”)
• It cannot be Glitter. (Or Crossroads.)
• It has to have had a theatrical release.
• It must be available on Netflix.
• No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
• No musicals...'
This should answer many of the questions. Netflix rule was a later add, since many truly horrid ones don't make it that far - the important ones are that it cannot be intentionally bad, and has to be a real theatre release.
Reply
Reply
I mean, it is awful. But in that mst3k mode.
Or do I just have Stockholm Syndrome?
Reply
BL: "Which is the worse movie? Hudson Hawk or Feast III?"
Overconfidence: "Well, Hudson Hawk has A-list/B-list actors and a theatrical release. It must be the worse movie, QED."
BL: "Are you on crack?"
Overconfidence: "Once again, your witty riposte has demonstrated the folly of my ways."
BL: "No biggie, bro. Want to reenact the Parmenides? Dibs on Zeno."
I'll agree to Rules #1, #3 and #5. The remaining rules should be read disjunctively and, fyi, every single one of my recommendations is available through Netflix -> "Gotta [watch] 'em all."
Even if you're going to try and push Rule #2, you should be clear that you evaluate Rule #2 at the time of the release and not later. "The Lords of Flatbush" was a bad movie even before Stallone became an A-lister/B-lister.
BahstanLawyah
Reply
XXOO, Bahstahn Lawyah
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