[Fanfic] The Kilt Incident
Title: The Kilt Incindent
Characters (in this chapter): UK + Ireland.
Rating: G
Warnings: None, surprisingly.
Summary: So I was skulking around the intarwebs, as you do, when I stumbled upon hime1999's awesomeness. Within this, I found this (third picture). I was bored and had writers block for FT and... well. This happened.
“No.” England glared poisonously at his brother.
“Aw, come on Artie!” Scotland tried, though his attempts at wheedling were marred by the giant grin he had.
“No, never, not in a million years.”
“For one hour, go on.”
“I would sooner re-elect Margret Thatcher. No, I would sooner ressurect Oliver Cromwell than-”
“Ye’ve been a total dick to my university kids, Arthur, it’s at least fair play.”
That one stung. England glared harder.
“It won’t kill you, you know.” Northern Ireland added, watching the display from the sofa. The world outside the sitting room turned by, uncaring of the argument inside. This was mainly because the neighboring birds and animals were so used to the frequent shouting matches they no longer cared.
“Stay out of this you.” England snapped. Éibhear recoiled in mock-terror.
“He’s got a point though.” Wales droned with an uninterested look on his face. Arthur looked despairing.
“Darren, of all people, I would have thought you’d stay away from the dark side.” He moaned. Wales shrugged.
“I’m just saying, it’s only for an hour. Also, you’re blocking the TV and I can’t hear what Stephen Fry’s saying.”
“Just shut up and do it.” Scotland grinned triumphantly. “Ye’ve lost this one.”
Grumbling, England snatched the kilt from Scotland’s hands and stomped out of the room.
----
A week later, Arthur Kirkland was just getting his tickets for the Tube, when his phone went off. Moving out of the queue like the polite gentleman he was, he fished it out of his pocket. It was Ireland calling, for some reason, or so the caller ID told him. Half-dreading this, he picked up. “Hello?”
His only answer was hysterical laughter.
After waiting for a few minutes, feeling steadily more embarrassed as people overheard the cackling Irish woman and stared, he broke in “Aine, what the hell are you calling me for?” This, for some reason, renewed the giggles, but at least this time she made an attempt to speak around them.
“Y-you- hahahaha! Oh god, how- pfffft!” she sniggered. “Even a-after you said- so many times- he tries this every century and you actually gave in and it’s just- pfffhahaha!”
“It would be very helpful if you told me what you were laughing about, sister mine.” Arthur grumped. Aine struggled to get her breath back.
“Ah- this is the funniest thing since you in the 1980s...” she gasped. England was developing a twitch in his left eye. “North’s such a s-sneaky bastard of a camera man! Never knew you looked so good in a skirt, Artie.” And with that, she collapsed back into laughter.
Oh, he was going to kill Scotland.
Notes (aren't there always?):
- Oliver Cromwell: the only time England's ever been ruled without a monarch was when Cromwell decided they didn't need one, and cut off Charles I's head. He also invaded Ireland for little to no reason, canceled Christmas, and was generally a not nice person at all. For more information on just how much of a dick this guy was, read Mithrigil's fic on him (Warning, NSFW and Not Safe For Faith In Humanity) Also, his old house in within walking distance of my college, and you have no idea how scary/creepy that is. Especially after reading Mith's fic. *shudder*
- Margret Thatcher: I'm unsure how many people have heard of her outside of the UK, but she's become somewhat of a legend. Our only female Prime Minister ever that has now potentially made it impossible for women to become PM, she was called the "Iron Lady", and came to power during a time when England's economy, trade, employment rating and moral were in the bin. She then proceeded to make it worse by having the Falklands War, Poll Tax and banned milk breaks in primary schools.
- Tube = nickname for the London Underground /obvious.
- "A dick to my university kids": Scotland's kids get free university I am so fucking jealous you have no idea, but there are regulations being considered by the government to make them pay (significantly less than the rest of the UK gdi) for their education. Another reason everyone wants Brown out of office.
Characters (in this chapter): UK + Ireland.
Rating: G
Warnings: None, surprisingly.
Summary: So I was skulking around the intarwebs, as you do, when I stumbled upon hime1999's awesomeness. Within this, I found this (third picture). I was bored and had writers block for FT and... well. This happened.
“No.” England glared poisonously at his brother.
“Aw, come on Artie!” Scotland tried, though his attempts at wheedling were marred by the giant grin he had.
“No, never, not in a million years.”
“For one hour, go on.”
“I would sooner re-elect Margret Thatcher. No, I would sooner ressurect Oliver Cromwell than-”
“Ye’ve been a total dick to my university kids, Arthur, it’s at least fair play.”
That one stung. England glared harder.
“It won’t kill you, you know.” Northern Ireland added, watching the display from the sofa. The world outside the sitting room turned by, uncaring of the argument inside. This was mainly because the neighboring birds and animals were so used to the frequent shouting matches they no longer cared.
“Stay out of this you.” England snapped. Éibhear recoiled in mock-terror.
“He’s got a point though.” Wales droned with an uninterested look on his face. Arthur looked despairing.
“Darren, of all people, I would have thought you’d stay away from the dark side.” He moaned. Wales shrugged.
“I’m just saying, it’s only for an hour. Also, you’re blocking the TV and I can’t hear what Stephen Fry’s saying.”
“Just shut up and do it.” Scotland grinned triumphantly. “Ye’ve lost this one.”
Grumbling, England snatched the kilt from Scotland’s hands and stomped out of the room.
----
A week later, Arthur Kirkland was just getting his tickets for the Tube, when his phone went off. Moving out of the queue like the polite gentleman he was, he fished it out of his pocket. It was Ireland calling, for some reason, or so the caller ID told him. Half-dreading this, he picked up. “Hello?”
His only answer was hysterical laughter.
After waiting for a few minutes, feeling steadily more embarrassed as people overheard the cackling Irish woman and stared, he broke in “Aine, what the hell are you calling me for?” This, for some reason, renewed the giggles, but at least this time she made an attempt to speak around them.
“Y-you- hahahaha! Oh god, how- pfffft!” she sniggered. “Even a-after you said- so many times- he tries this every century and you actually gave in and it’s just- pfffhahaha!”
“It would be very helpful if you told me what you were laughing about, sister mine.” Arthur grumped. Aine struggled to get her breath back.
“Ah- this is the funniest thing since you in the 1980s...” she gasped. England was developing a twitch in his left eye. “North’s such a s-sneaky bastard of a camera man! Never knew you looked so good in a skirt, Artie.” And with that, she collapsed back into laughter.
Oh, he was going to kill Scotland.
Notes (aren't there always?):
- Oliver Cromwell: the only time England's ever been ruled without a monarch was when Cromwell decided they didn't need one, and cut off Charles I's head. He also invaded Ireland for little to no reason, canceled Christmas, and was generally a not nice person at all. For more information on just how much of a dick this guy was, read Mithrigil's fic on him (Warning, NSFW and Not Safe For Faith In Humanity) Also, his old house in within walking distance of my college, and you have no idea how scary/creepy that is. Especially after reading Mith's fic. *shudder*
- Margret Thatcher: I'm unsure how many people have heard of her outside of the UK, but she's become somewhat of a legend. Our only female Prime Minister ever that has now potentially made it impossible for women to become PM, she was called the "Iron Lady", and came to power during a time when England's economy, trade, employment rating and moral were in the bin. She then proceeded to make it worse by having the Falklands War, Poll Tax and banned milk breaks in primary schools.
- Tube = nickname for the London Underground /obvious.
- "A dick to my university kids": Scotland's kids get free university I am so fucking jealous you have no idea, but there are regulations being considered by the government to make them pay (significantly less than the rest of the UK gdi) for their education. Another reason everyone wants Brown out of office.