(no subject)
Helm: hoo-hah
Frey: Hoo-hah?
Helm: hoo-hah. Also, I brought your mother, boy
Frey: ...
Frey: Is it too late to renege on that Father's Day crap?
Helm: yes. I didn't bring her willingly.
Frey: Wonderful. You know, the fact that you can't control brings me no comfort.
Helm: Sorry. She really wants to meet you
Frey: Lucky me.
Helm: Don't meet her eyes or bare your teeth
Frey: Really isn't a good time for this.
Helm: Oh?
Frey: I just got engaged. Mother's tend to go nuts over that sort of thing, don't they?
Helm: Wouldn't know.
Frey: I assume she's also going to want to meet Firiel.
Helm: Maybe they'd bond.
Frey: Something tells me that's not likely.
Helm: Maybe she'll tear off Firiel's head and sup upon her blood.
Frey: Met the ferret?
Helm: He ran into my face.
Frey: Good for him. Hani come to his rescue as usual?
Helm: Nope. I bashed his head into the wall and nearly cooked him up for dinner.
Frey: Copycat.
Helm: He was sort of whip-shaped. Asked for it.
Frey: He does that. Very beatable.
Helm: He asked me if he could court Hani
Frey: He what?
Helm: Asked if he could court Hani. He was a ferret at the time.
Frey: That must have gone over well.
Helm: Your *mother* held him out of my reach.
Frey: I take no responsibility for her actions.
Helm: You aren't going to mysteriously start taking after her now, are you?
Frey: Do I now?
Helm: no comment.
Frey: ¬.¬
Helm: Do you want ferret stew? They left me alone with him
Frey: We could do that. Or we could wait to see if Wulf comes back again and let them take each other out.
Helm: oooh.
Frey: They were thisclose last time.
Frey: Or so I heard.
Helm: Excellent. I think Hani and Hild think I should say yes to his request
Frey: Hani would, yes. I, of course, have no idea what...my mother wants.
Helm: She does want to meet you. She isn't *that* evil.
Frey: Well that, yes. I meant the courting issue.
Helm: Hide Firiel in a closet
Frey: I've got her mostly locked up in her room.
Helm: What? Not pregnant and barefoot in a kitchen yet?
Frey: No. She's a lot like Hani in that respect.
Helm: Why is she being kept in her room?
Frey: Because there are several large, Rohirrim running around looking for "spoils of war" etc.
Frey: And she's not, really. I think she's just actually listening to me and being cautious for once.
Helm: Alrighty. By the way, how much tranquilizers do you think it'll take to bring down a full grown Rohirrim?
Frey: Depends. We talking about the ferret?
Helm: Talking about the soldiers who didn't recognize me. I'm thinking they should get a free dinner. A stew. *nods* Don't eat any, boy
Frey: I'll be sure to steer clear of stew.
Helm: Good boy.
Frey: I try.
Helm: Do I add the ferret to the stew?
Frey: You really want to deal with Hani if you do?
Helm: I'll say he went missing. Rodents do that a lot.
Frey: Doubt she'd buy that coming from you.
Helm: I'm very believable
Frey: Right. She's going to believe you telling her that her boyfriend just up and left after asking you if he could court her.
Helm: I could say he couldn't handle the pressure.
Frey: I'm still skeptical. He's had the shit beat out of him twice and he didn't leave. He also talked to me about it and seemed fairly confident he coulld win you over.
Helm: So he's dumb. He might have gotten some braincells working after the last beating.
Frey: Doubtful.
Helm: damnit
Frey: Wulf and I couldn't scare him off and I hate to tell you, but I dont't hink you're as scary as the two of us put together.
Helm: ¬.¬ yes, you were both very scary. being pulled off by women and all
Frey: Like Hani couldn't do the same to you.
Helm: I'm very good at ignoring her until I've actually finished.
Frey: She's made herself hard to ignore.
Helm: Takes two seconds to snap a weasel's neck. I can ignore her that long. Takes a bit longer if he's a human, though. *considers*
Frey: Then you'd have one very upset and angry girl on your hands.
Helm: You're very annoying when you ruin my plans like this, you know that
Frey: *shrugs* Not my fault that you don't see the hwole picture.
Helm: My picture is small and happy, though.
Frey: Granted. But I'd like to try and keep hers as well.
Helm: Oh well. He should wake up soon. I locked him in a sock drawer. I need to give some sort of reaction.
Frey: Have fun.
Helm: Go find your mother
Frey: I'll be avoiding a few more days I think....
Helm: Wuss.
Frey: That would be your fault.
Helm: I'm not the one avoiding her.
Frey: I'm avoiding her because of what you've told me about her. Which reminds me. I'll be quite put out if she's nothing like you've described.
Helm: well, she doesn't breathe fire. I may have embellished that a bit.
Frey: Really? I never would have guessed
Helm: She's just very much herself. Like you're yourself.
Frey: And that's a big help.
Helm: If you can figure out what I mean, anyway. *listens* I think I hear a rodent screaming. Really must go
Frey: *nods*
Helm: *ambles off, humming cheerfully*
*pulls ferret out of the sock drawer and avoids the biting and scratching*
I have carefully considered your request to court my daughter, weasel.