.004 [Video]

[helpmejeeves]

[The camera is shaking and jostling about quite a lot. Bertie is up in a tree, clinging to a branch with one hand while trying to video post with the other.]

I say, can someone please give a chap a helping hand here?

[The picture jolts as Bertie yelps and looks at something below him, off camera.]

Nice puss puss puss. Good puss.

((OOC:

Comments

[majorum_pride]

[Rhade didn't see Bertie's video post. He heard his voice, but he wasn't really paying attention. What he was paying to was the giant cat that came padding around the tree and saw him his fair distance away.

Ah, well, narrative law was clear. Rhade was about to have a giant cat barrelling at him, and Bertie would be forgotten up in his tree. And that's precisely how it happened.

Fortunately, Rhade was enjoying getting in touch with his inner caveman, and picked up two sizable rocks.] Doctor! [Yes, he was going to yell for his warden. Shut up! If this thing bit off his head he wanted someone to immediately bring him back to life.]

[helpmejeeves]

[Truly, Bertie would probably have been dead a hundred times over had it not been for narrative law and Jeeves. With Jeeves not around, narrative law had to pick up the slack, and it was doing a fine job of it. Bertie would be grateful, if he knew what narrative law was.

As it was, he makes a note to himself to thank the gentleman in red leather sometime. And possibly inquire after his tailor. That was a corking jacket unlike anything Bertie's ever seen before.]

Fuck you tenses! And you too, grammar! I hate you all and I'm not your friend!

[majorum_pride]

[Rhade's going to have to borrow some of that narrative law. He's at a loss for a moment and realizes throwing the rock might be a little... primitive. Banging them together might just provide an aura of protective annoyance. So he peels off his nice jacket quickly, the turtleneck underneath (yup, with the cat stalking toward him), and makes the quickest flail in the history of flails.

Oh what would he give for those boneblades back right now.

He yells at the cat and barrels at it, swings the flail, and runs at the animal. And it balks and starts to swipe before it catches a good hard crack right on the head.

It sort of balks away, but doesn't seem out of the game yet. Just confused that this monkey creature managed to hit it so hard.] What are you doing still up in the tree? Get out of the tree! [Wait, was he stuck in the tree?]

[helpmejeeves]

[Narrative law frequently saved Bertie's life, but that doesn't mean it liked to make life easy for him. He tried to disembark from his arborescent perch but the soles of his (very fine) shoes couldn't gain traction and he slipped and ended up dangling by a branch, arms gripping it tightly and legs flailing in the air.]

The way down is a tad steep from here. [Kick kick with his legs, trying to get them back in contact with the tree.]

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine]

{Professor Fate has been somewhat close by, disgruntled by the lack of viable parts for the contraption he is planning. He returns, hearing the fuss.}

What in the blazes are you going on about-HELP! HEEEEELP!

{With that yelp, he'll just be scrambling up the neighbouring tree, his narrative law demanding that he lose a shoe in the battle.}

MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

{Spam}

[helpmejeeves]

[Bertie watches the shoe tumble to the ground and thinks that his inmate has the worse bally luck.]

What ho, Professor! [Nervously chipper in the face of GIANT FANGS AND CLAWS.]

Er...you don't happen to have a Remove-Cat-And-Descend-Safely-From-Tree invention on you, do you?

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine]

MAYDAY MAYD-Do I look like I have a Remove Cat device? {He'll just throw his hat at it. Not that that helped, in fact, it probably made it worse.}

What does he want? If we give him what he wants, he'll go away.

{Spam}

[helpmejeeves]

I think he wants to eat one or the other of us for supper. So that idea's a non-starter. I won't throw you to the vicious man-eating beast, and you won't throw me to him.

[Poor Bertie's still getting used to this "inmate, possibly evil, likely doesn't value human life" concept.]

post-cat.

[needshumility]

[Eddie had been busy studying a snake which he thought had a barcode. Turned out it was just black and white striped, so he trudged on, a little disappointed. He'd even brought his notebook, in the hope of getting some more animals in it.

He spotted Bertie through the trees, though, and Eddie tried to pick up his pace a little, and fell straight over a sticking up root of the tree. Instinctively, he froze. He did not have a good history with trees, and he was waiting for the moment when the tree attacked.]

[helpmejeeves]

[Bertie watched Eddie make his way towards him and trip over a root. Bertie had done that himself a half dozen times by now.]

What ho, Eddie! Be careful when you ankle about here; the footing is...what's the word...treacherous, yes, treacherous.

[But when Eddie didn't move at all after tripping, Bertie got a little concerned. He trotted towards him.]

I say, are you altogether all right?

[needshumility]

[Eddie held up a hand to make sure Bertie didn't think to come any closer, and pulled something out of his pocket to throw at the tree. It didn't move. That was good, and he quickly scrambled to his feet,]

Just fine. Thought it might be this place's equivalent of a yaetevo. [He brushed the dirt off his shorts and gave Bertie a slight grin,] It isn't! Yaetevos are terribly dangerous.

[helpmejeeves]

Yaetevo? I've never heard of it, although that's not unusual. There's a lot of things I haven't heard of. Jeeves would probably know exactly what it was, scientific name and common, plus points of horticultural interest. He's that sort of chap, you know.

What does a yaetevo usually look like?