well, it begins again?
Well, I went out with my bosses last night, to Legend's where she works and had a really good time. Not only did I not look for/at her I wasn't thinking about her at all... I leave and she sends me a picture of her with a pug puppy, just wanted to say hi. I told her (was it a month ago?) that i wanted her to delete my number. Why would she do that? There's a little bit of my heart left to crush.
anyway... i wasn't going to respond, but when she so casually said 'i just wanted to say hi' i said yeah... hi... then she had the audacity to ask how my dating life is going. I shouldn't have answered but said single and fine. then she asks if i would have coffee with her to just talk. I said I don't think so, i'm sorry. Why am i so damn nice? I should have cursed her out, oh well... she said oh it's okay i just wanted to talk, nite. I didn't respond, I just deleted all the messages so i wouldn't break down in the early morning hours when things don't seem real and text her. Yeah, that didn't work because i ended up writing her a note, a long one telling her that I am and have been madly in love with her. That I can't be just her friend. And that there will always be songs that make me think of her. I put it in a plastic ziplock (thank god cause it snowed) and drove to her house at 11:30 at night and put it on her car. I don't know if she got it. I probably scared her off, but at least she knows where I stand.
I'm just an ass... and she is the only person in my life that has these controls over my feelings. I'll be okay. I have to be okay. Life goes on...
anyway... i wasn't going to respond, but when she so casually said 'i just wanted to say hi' i said yeah... hi... then she had the audacity to ask how my dating life is going. I shouldn't have answered but said single and fine. then she asks if i would have coffee with her to just talk. I said I don't think so, i'm sorry. Why am i so damn nice? I should have cursed her out, oh well... she said oh it's okay i just wanted to talk, nite. I didn't respond, I just deleted all the messages so i wouldn't break down in the early morning hours when things don't seem real and text her. Yeah, that didn't work because i ended up writing her a note, a long one telling her that I am and have been madly in love with her. That I can't be just her friend. And that there will always be songs that make me think of her. I put it in a plastic ziplock (thank god cause it snowed) and drove to her house at 11:30 at night and put it on her car. I don't know if she got it. I probably scared her off, but at least she knows where I stand.
I'm just an ass... and she is the only person in my life that has these controls over my feelings. I'll be okay. I have to be okay. Life goes on...