Fic: How Fickle My Heart
Media: Fic
Title: How Fickle My Heart
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: ep2x14
Warnings: Light swearing and other spoil-some actions that are contained in the next episode
Word Count: 1,505
Summary: This is how Kurt feels about what just happened.
A/N: Title/lyrics come from Mumford & Sons' "Awake My Soul."
Hopefully, this turns some frowns upside down.
It has been a little over two months since Kurt's been at Dalton, been friends with Blaine.
The random hugging shouldn't be anything more than comforting; the reaching for his arm shouldn't sometimes make his body tense with excitement, and those eyes should not be able to tell such in-depth stories.
But to Kurt, they do.
They always, always do.
And Kurt knows it's his fault for analyzing Blaine's expressions, and he knows it's his fault for forgetting how to breath when Blaine hugs him, but what he wouldn't give to be someone's Someone--Blaine's Someone.
And so right now they're at Rachel's interesting excuse for a party, and Kurt can't really think of anything to do right now but blush at Blaine who is currently singing a duet with Rachel.
He looks so happy.
Kurt almost forgets that this hasn't been his life every day for the past two years.
Everyone is looking so comfortable with each other, hell, Brittany is almost naked, and Mercedes is laughing hysterically into a couch cushion. Life couldn't be better, he feels.
And Blaine is grinning at him, drunkenly, of course, but with that smile. That smile that makes the crinkles around his eyes fully noticeable, the smile that makes the butterflies in Kurt's stomach fill to an infinite proportion.
Maybe it's just the alcohol talking, and Kurt has sure let it talk, talk, talk all night, but tonight he feels different. He feels like he could start singing any "good times are here!" song, and he'd totally mean every word that he'd be singing.
But of course, this is the "The World Hates Kurt Hummel" world, so things are quickly turning disastrous.
Kurt watches Rachel get to grab Blaine by the collar and drag him in for a kiss. He has to see Blaine smirk and expose his perfect jawline. He has to see the kid he thinks he's falling in love with kiss someone that isn't himself.
At least this is just a game,
And they're all drunk,
And it isn't GAP guy,
And Rachel is his friend,
And she knows he likes him, so she won't start liking him,
And--
And Blaine doesn't look like he cares one bit about what he just did.
And then he has the nerve to glance at Kurt before and after the kiss to probably gauge his reaction.
How could you just do that to us? Kurt thinks, but then quickly has to let the thought go.
Blaine is just drunk, and he is just your friend.
He just wants to be your friend right now.
Meaning, he didn't start liking you as soon as you started liking him.
Just have fun for the night, you're with all your friends.
Blaine is one of those friends.
So, after he tells them to stop kissing, they all laugh it off a little, and Blaine gets some whistles and cat-calls from the group, and then the game continues without any further interruptions.
Kurt distracts himself by attempting to be interested in all the drama that is going to erupt from tonight.
Sam is kissing Santana in front of Quinn, and tons of other couples are hooking-up/probably going to break up, Kurt thinks.
But he can't really bring himself to care all that much. Blaine is now playing guitar, and oh my god, does he ever look heart-throbby by doing so.
Blaine needs to stop being so perfect, and he's not even without flaws. How is this possible?
He touched his hand in the first minute they met, and then managed to do something that Kurt never thought would be possible until after he left high school.
He made Kurt Hummel believe in happiness and hope.
Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all, but lend me your heart, and I'll just let you fall.
But should their previous moments together really be ruined by a juvenile game of spin-the-bottle?
Definitely not, but that's not the question Kurt keeps asking himself:
Should I still keep liking you like this?
Blaine's already proven that he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to romance. Kurt only thinks he knows what Blaine's all about, but he's being proven wrong on a daily basis about how this boy makes him feel.
Kurt's still growing, and frankly, he can't afford to loose his hope about love. About Blaine. About his own happiness.
It'll come in time, maybe not even with Blaine.
And maybe sometime soon, that will be okay.
Blaine's drunken slurs make him laugh away his doubts. He could love this kid however he wants to be loved by Kurt.
They care about each other.
Someone new really cares about him, and that's amazingly gratifying.
It's time to not look to others to secure his own happiness, and even if that forceful thought saddens him a little, he kind of feels it's true. He can do this.
Awake my soul.
----
Four in the morning stumbles around, as does the members of New Directions, Kurt, and Blaine, and soon they're all finding places around the basement to crash.
Kurt sees that Blaine has passed out by the stage Rachel had set up earlier, and so he finds his way over to a cuddling Mercedes and Rachel to see if they will share their blankets with him.
He spoons with Mercedes' back, and soon lets his eyes gently shut, letting the night's events flow through his mind in a few quick moments.
But then Kurt feels something, or rather, someone, plopping down behind him. The body isn't snuggling with him how Kurt is doing with Mercedes, but Kurt immediately knows Blaine has somehow woken-up from his drunken-slumber and purposely come over to lay next to him.
Ohgodohgodohgod.
He doesn't dare move.
Welcome back, Infatuation and Irrational-Hopefulness.
He pretends to be sleeping, but then he soon feels Blaine's arm cross over his body to grab some blanket.
Thank God this is like the longest blanket in history, Kurt thinks.
The basement is pretty cold. It's still a chilly winter, and basements aren't the best places to keep warm, so Kurt justifies Blaine's coming over to lay with him as just a way to keep warm.
Just trying to keep warm.
----
Everyone starts waking up around noon, but even after a good seven and a half hours of sleep, they all still feel the consequences of the night's adventures in the form of headaches and fatigue.
Kurt woke up in relief to know that he hadn't accidentally turned around in his sleep and chosen to cuddle into Blaine.
And maybe there's a little disappointment attached to that relief, but Kurt dismisses it.
He dismisses it until they're all at breakfast trying to get over their hangovers and he sees Blaine talking to Rachel.
Of course, they should be allowed to talk to each other. Kurt really wants Blaine to like his friends, but now...
He's not so sure.
He knows he needs to change that thought, however.
It's not too hard once they're all eating, thankfully.
Blaine is comfortably sitting next to Kurt, and Rachel and Mercedes are in the booth across from them, shooting Kurt meaningful looks when Blaine is looking down at his plate to cut his french toast with his fork.
He could get used to this.
He just hopes that someday the boy sitting next to him will be giving him the same glances that Rachel and Mercedes are giving Kurt.
But no, maybe not even that boy--Kurt can totally find someone else to like.
It's not like Blaine is now his only type of guy he thinks he'll go for, and it's not like he's totally thought about dancing with him at any special event that commonly occurs at the end of your senior year of high school or anything, and he totally hasn't thought about new duets to sing. No, never, he's just going to stop liking Bla--
"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine interrupts his thoughts when they're all getting ready to leave.
"Yes?" He smiles back, proudly paying for both his and Blaine's meals. Blaine paid for lunch last week, so it's his turn now.
They are the last two in the diner, and Blaine stares thoughtfully back at Kurt.
"Your friends are really great. I can see why you love them so much."
Kurt smiles, not really thinking about it, "Well, yeah, you're my friend, too! Feel included, now."
Blaine pauses for a moment and tilts his head curiously. "You love me so much?"
He grins when Kurt freezes to think about the question Blaine just asked.
"Uh..."
"Uh-huh. Alright, come on, let's go before they leave without us."
"...Yes. Right."
"Yes to what?"
"Hm? Oh, I don't know! Come on, Blaine, they're going to leave without us!"
So, until The Day comes, this will work for him.
He feels it's something good to look forward to.
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.
Title: How Fickle My Heart
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: ep2x14
Warnings: Light swearing and other spoil-some actions that are contained in the next episode
Word Count: 1,505
Summary: This is how Kurt feels about what just happened.
A/N: Title/lyrics come from Mumford & Sons' "Awake My Soul."
Hopefully, this turns some frowns upside down.
It has been a little over two months since Kurt's been at Dalton, been friends with Blaine.
The random hugging shouldn't be anything more than comforting; the reaching for his arm shouldn't sometimes make his body tense with excitement, and those eyes should not be able to tell such in-depth stories.
But to Kurt, they do.
They always, always do.
And Kurt knows it's his fault for analyzing Blaine's expressions, and he knows it's his fault for forgetting how to breath when Blaine hugs him, but what he wouldn't give to be someone's Someone--Blaine's Someone.
And so right now they're at Rachel's interesting excuse for a party, and Kurt can't really think of anything to do right now but blush at Blaine who is currently singing a duet with Rachel.
He looks so happy.
Kurt almost forgets that this hasn't been his life every day for the past two years.
Everyone is looking so comfortable with each other, hell, Brittany is almost naked, and Mercedes is laughing hysterically into a couch cushion. Life couldn't be better, he feels.
And Blaine is grinning at him, drunkenly, of course, but with that smile. That smile that makes the crinkles around his eyes fully noticeable, the smile that makes the butterflies in Kurt's stomach fill to an infinite proportion.
Maybe it's just the alcohol talking, and Kurt has sure let it talk, talk, talk all night, but tonight he feels different. He feels like he could start singing any "good times are here!" song, and he'd totally mean every word that he'd be singing.
But of course, this is the "The World Hates Kurt Hummel" world, so things are quickly turning disastrous.
Kurt watches Rachel get to grab Blaine by the collar and drag him in for a kiss. He has to see Blaine smirk and expose his perfect jawline. He has to see the kid he thinks he's falling in love with kiss someone that isn't himself.
At least this is just a game,
And they're all drunk,
And it isn't GAP guy,
And Rachel is his friend,
And she knows he likes him, so she won't start liking him,
And--
And Blaine doesn't look like he cares one bit about what he just did.
And then he has the nerve to glance at Kurt before and after the kiss to probably gauge his reaction.
How could you just do that to us? Kurt thinks, but then quickly has to let the thought go.
Blaine is just drunk, and he is just your friend.
He just wants to be your friend right now.
Meaning, he didn't start liking you as soon as you started liking him.
Just have fun for the night, you're with all your friends.
Blaine is one of those friends.
So, after he tells them to stop kissing, they all laugh it off a little, and Blaine gets some whistles and cat-calls from the group, and then the game continues without any further interruptions.
Kurt distracts himself by attempting to be interested in all the drama that is going to erupt from tonight.
Sam is kissing Santana in front of Quinn, and tons of other couples are hooking-up/probably going to break up, Kurt thinks.
But he can't really bring himself to care all that much. Blaine is now playing guitar, and oh my god, does he ever look heart-throbby by doing so.
Blaine needs to stop being so perfect, and he's not even without flaws. How is this possible?
He touched his hand in the first minute they met, and then managed to do something that Kurt never thought would be possible until after he left high school.
He made Kurt Hummel believe in happiness and hope.
Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all, but lend me your heart, and I'll just let you fall.
But should their previous moments together really be ruined by a juvenile game of spin-the-bottle?
Definitely not, but that's not the question Kurt keeps asking himself:
Should I still keep liking you like this?
Blaine's already proven that he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to romance. Kurt only thinks he knows what Blaine's all about, but he's being proven wrong on a daily basis about how this boy makes him feel.
Kurt's still growing, and frankly, he can't afford to loose his hope about love. About Blaine. About his own happiness.
It'll come in time, maybe not even with Blaine.
And maybe sometime soon, that will be okay.
Blaine's drunken slurs make him laugh away his doubts. He could love this kid however he wants to be loved by Kurt.
They care about each other.
Someone new really cares about him, and that's amazingly gratifying.
It's time to not look to others to secure his own happiness, and even if that forceful thought saddens him a little, he kind of feels it's true. He can do this.
Awake my soul.
----
Four in the morning stumbles around, as does the members of New Directions, Kurt, and Blaine, and soon they're all finding places around the basement to crash.
Kurt sees that Blaine has passed out by the stage Rachel had set up earlier, and so he finds his way over to a cuddling Mercedes and Rachel to see if they will share their blankets with him.
He spoons with Mercedes' back, and soon lets his eyes gently shut, letting the night's events flow through his mind in a few quick moments.
But then Kurt feels something, or rather, someone, plopping down behind him. The body isn't snuggling with him how Kurt is doing with Mercedes, but Kurt immediately knows Blaine has somehow woken-up from his drunken-slumber and purposely come over to lay next to him.
Ohgodohgodohgod.
He doesn't dare move.
Welcome back, Infatuation and Irrational-Hopefulness.
He pretends to be sleeping, but then he soon feels Blaine's arm cross over his body to grab some blanket.
Thank God this is like the longest blanket in history, Kurt thinks.
The basement is pretty cold. It's still a chilly winter, and basements aren't the best places to keep warm, so Kurt justifies Blaine's coming over to lay with him as just a way to keep warm.
Just trying to keep warm.
----
Everyone starts waking up around noon, but even after a good seven and a half hours of sleep, they all still feel the consequences of the night's adventures in the form of headaches and fatigue.
Kurt woke up in relief to know that he hadn't accidentally turned around in his sleep and chosen to cuddle into Blaine.
And maybe there's a little disappointment attached to that relief, but Kurt dismisses it.
He dismisses it until they're all at breakfast trying to get over their hangovers and he sees Blaine talking to Rachel.
Of course, they should be allowed to talk to each other. Kurt really wants Blaine to like his friends, but now...
He's not so sure.
He knows he needs to change that thought, however.
It's not too hard once they're all eating, thankfully.
Blaine is comfortably sitting next to Kurt, and Rachel and Mercedes are in the booth across from them, shooting Kurt meaningful looks when Blaine is looking down at his plate to cut his french toast with his fork.
He could get used to this.
He just hopes that someday the boy sitting next to him will be giving him the same glances that Rachel and Mercedes are giving Kurt.
But no, maybe not even that boy--Kurt can totally find someone else to like.
It's not like Blaine is now his only type of guy he thinks he'll go for, and it's not like he's totally thought about dancing with him at any special event that commonly occurs at the end of your senior year of high school or anything, and he totally hasn't thought about new duets to sing. No, never, he's just going to stop liking Bla--
"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine interrupts his thoughts when they're all getting ready to leave.
"Yes?" He smiles back, proudly paying for both his and Blaine's meals. Blaine paid for lunch last week, so it's his turn now.
They are the last two in the diner, and Blaine stares thoughtfully back at Kurt.
"Your friends are really great. I can see why you love them so much."
Kurt smiles, not really thinking about it, "Well, yeah, you're my friend, too! Feel included, now."
Blaine pauses for a moment and tilts his head curiously. "You love me so much?"
He grins when Kurt freezes to think about the question Blaine just asked.
"Uh..."
"Uh-huh. Alright, come on, let's go before they leave without us."
"...Yes. Right."
"Yes to what?"
"Hm? Oh, I don't know! Come on, Blaine, they're going to leave without us!"
So, until The Day comes, this will work for him.
He feels it's something good to look forward to.
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.