Fic: My Slumbering Heart
Title: My Slumbering Heart
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None (unless you count chapter 6 of GROT21C! Lawl.)
Warnings: sex, underage drinking, strong language, implied Kurt/Blaine, past Nick/Kurt
Word Count: 5,372
Summary: Nick knows that Jeff's in love with him, but Nick just views him as a best friend. However, they're at a party up at Nick's college, Nick's drunk, and Jeff looks pretty kissable right about now. (I'm really great at summaries.)
A/N: This is a "missing" scene from chapter 6 of Great Romances of the 21st Century. However, I tried to write it so that it should make sense to anyone just wanting to read a short tale of how Jeff Galven lost his virginity. Yep.
As always, I have to thank star55 and teaboytoaliens for being rad betas and awesome ladies. <3
Nick is good at listening. He listened to Kurt like a song--a sweet, sad song with heavy piano and intricate lyrics that plays at just the right tempo. And then the song speeds up and gets faster and faster and then louder, and Nick just really wants to have sex with Kurt Hummel. It's a must.
But I broke up with him already.
Nick saw it coming--saw Blaine and Kurt coming in and out of each other, together, forever and ever.
It fucking sucks for Nick right now. He didn't want to break up with Kurt, but he had to.
"'Now, like, I really like you... You're so-' Nick bites his lip and moves into Kurt a little more, '-hot, and beautiful, and awesome, and you're hilarious. But if you think you might still like Blaine, then maybe we shouldn't be doing this right now.'
Kurt immediately frowns, leaning himself more towards Nick. 'Really? You're breaking up with me?'"
Regretful brain sigh.
Yes, Kurt, I had to. I had to break up with you before you broke up with me, okay?
That's just how Nick is. He needs to be in control, okay?
It's how he was raised. He has fucking horses, alright? Leave him and his horses alone.
So, yeah. That's what's happened so far. However, Nick may have forgotten one important figure in his life. A tall, lean, and slightly tanned figure.
It's okay though, because this figure is currently walking down the hall to Nick's dorm room to take a nap after driving two and a half hours to see him. This figure has floppy blond hair that would lighten the mood of any bad situation.
It's early December; it's the weekend. Jeff's here now, yes, Jeff, his best friend. Nick can forget about Kurt.
They have alcohol for tonight.
Nick can forget about Kurt.
Jeff really likes Nick still, Nick can tell. (Nick knows.)
Nick knows these things--knows that even though Jeff is smiling and laughing as Nick forces him down to take a nap--he sees it in Jeff's eyes. The "is it really okay if I sleep on your bed? You won't think I'll think it's more than it is?" look.
Jeff really fucking likes Nick. Always has. Thinks he always will.
Oh, yeah? You didn't know about that little bit of history?
Don't remind me.
Nick hates to be reminded of the time Jeff told him he was in love with him. It made things awkward between them.
It's been over two years since Nick's known this, but Jeff really can't get over him.
Nick went out of his way to date other guys--to fuck other guys--just so Jeff would get the hint that Nick would never date him.
See, Jeff? Get over me, dammit. I'll never fuck you.
Does that sound mean? Of course, it does.
Jeff really needs to know that Nick will never be with him. They're just friends.
Jeff is his best friend and is only here tonight so Nick and him can catch-up and play beer pong.
Nick will get drunk and sing Top 40's songs he usually hates, but it'll be hilarious, because he'll be drunk.
Nick can forget about Kurt.
Jeff's here.
~*~
There's a big party at one of the frat houses tonight, and right now, Nick and Jeff are pre-gaming in Nick's dorm. Jason, Nick's roommate, is getting along famously with Jeff as they talk enthusiastically about Blink-182 and Will Ferrell.
Fuck me. This kid is not my best friend anymore. I will replace you with myself, Jeff.
"Nick! ...Owens! ...Nick! Nick-Nick! Owens-Owens! Bow chicka woowww!"
"What, Jeff?"
"Can we go to the party now?" Jeff smiles, walking over to Nick with red cheeks and glossy eyes. He's pre-gamed enough for two.
Nick doesn't mean to think it, but for a moment, he thinks Jeff looks cute when he's drunk.
You're such a cheap drunk, Sir Galven.
----
Nick's already drunk when he gets to the party, but there's a two dollar beer keg, so he keeps drinking because he can.
Blaine's dominating the beer pong table, so Nick decides he'll stay far away from it until he leaves. He won't be beat by fucking Blaine.
He used to think Blaine was a cool guy, admired him even. Blaine's a good singer...
...He's also a terrific boyfriend stealer.
I hope your eyebrows grow into unpluckable isosceles triangles, ass. Unpluckable's not even a word, but I wish it upon you anyway.
It's been two hours since they've been here, and when Nick looks over the condensed crowd, he sees Kurt straddling Blaine's hips on an otherwise empty couch, and for a moment, it doesn't even register.
He can't believe that Kurt, a week and a half after not being with him, is straddling Blaine Anderson and is grinding into him.
They're going to fuck. No.
Nick can't walk away from this night knowing that his ex-boyfriend that he still likes is going to sleep with another guy. Kurt can't have that on him. He needs to find someone.
Nick looks over at Jeff standing by the beer pong table. He's wearing a white three-quarter length sleeved baseball shirt with blue sleeves, and Nick approves. White always makes Jeff's hair look blonder, making it more... appealing?
No. That's A Jeff. Don't think about it how I know you want to think about it.
Nick wants to pull at Jeff's hair when he's making out with him. He wants to mess it the fuck up, so then Kurt will get hurt how Nick's hurt right now, because THAT, ladies and gentlemen, makes perfect drunk sense.
Fuck Kurt Hummel.
Fuck it, I'm doing it.
----
Not thinking about what this might otherwise mean to Jeff, Nick goes over to the beer pong table and grabs Jeff's hand, pulling him off to the side.
Before Jeff can wonder why, Nick's lips are gently pressed against his.
Oh, yes. Nick knows how to play this. He can't just drag Jeff back to his dorm like he wants to, but with a little light shoving? It'll turn into a good night.
After he pulls back, Nick can see the worry in Jeff's eyes. The "your lips were just on mine, but were they actually there? What? What?".
It's kind of exciting. Nick thinks Jeff is finally getting what he wants.
Your welcome, Jeff.
"Nick, what's this?" Jeff says awkwardly, failing to not blush and lean into his best friend.
Kurt straddling Blaine is a burning image in Nick's mind. He can't let it stay there.
He pulls Jeff closer to him. "Hey, I think tonight's a great night to talk about us. Do you want to follow me back to my room right now?"
Jeff's mind is obviously not ready to handle this situation. He never thought it would happen.
Well, it's going to happen now.
~*~
Nick guides them through the mass amount of people, holding Jeff's hand to help him get out. Sometimes, you just have to shove your way through people. Everyone is too drunk to know how to move.
It's probably a good idea they're leaving now anyway. Nick hopes that the cops will come within the hour, since it's already passed one o'clock in the morning, and then maybe Kurt and Blaine will get MIPs.
No, don't get them. But I hope the cops cock-block you.
As they walk out onto Main Street, Nick feels Jeff's hand wanting to leave the grasp of his own, so he lets go. His hand was getting tired, anyway.
Jeff smiles and stops walking for a minute, staring back at Nick with a dumb grin.
"So, like, what did you want to talk about?"
Nick walks back towards Jeff and puts his hands on his hips. He smirks when he sees Jeff already looking at Nick's lips.
"I don't really want to talk..."
Nick slides his hand down Jeff's arm and holds his hand for a minute, feeling how long and slim Jeff's fingers are and how fuck. He thinks it'll be a good hand to have his dick held in. Even more so, he bets every part of Jeff is this smooth.
"Do you want to not talk with me, also?"
It takes Jeff a couple moments to really consider what Nick is implying. He's never been good at guessing, and he's already proven to himself that he never knows what Nick is thinking, so he'll have to ask this time.
Jeff leans into him and smirks, feeling bold enough to raise an arm to wrap over Nick's shoulder and to curl his fingers around the nap of Nick's neck. His hair feels soft in between Jeff's fingers, and the taller boy wastes no time in burying his head in the crook of Nick's neck.
He tries hard to not let his words stumble out. "I... wanna talk... if you wanna talk, but I don't want to talk if you don't want to..."
Nick laughs as Jeff attempts to lift him up. It's a nice feeling--drunk Jeff clinging to him like Nick is all he's ever wanted. Which is probably true.
And Nick likes feeling desired, it's what he lives for. Why didn't he try to have sex with Jeff sooner? Gosh.
Jeff fumbles around the sidewalk, laughing quietly as Nick drags him out of the street when he gets too far towards the center of the road.
For three shots of Captain Morgan and seven beers, I'd say you're doing alright.
On the way back to the dorms across campus, Nick decides they need to drink more when they get back.
His dick wants to have sex with Jeff. His head is nodding at his dick, but it's telling him to "take shots when you get to your dorm. Drown me in alcohol and you'll have a good excuse for doing what you're about to do. Two thumbs up, yeah?"
----
Nick goes into his dorm to make sure his room mate isn't there yet and then quickly tells Jeff to sit on the couch while he pours them shots.
Jeff plops down on the couch and looks to Nick like he's staring off into space, when really, sober Jeff is trying to resurface and have him question what he's maybe about to do.
I have to finish that paper for bio. I wonder if Nick was supposed to do homework, but instead I'm here, taking up his couch space. ...Will he fu--hm. Hmmm. Shit. What am I doing? He doesn't like you. He's really drunk. You're really drun--no. I'm fine. But he's drunk.
"Nick?"
"Yeah huh?"
"Why'd you kiss me?"
Nick comes over to the couch with the two shots and sits down next to him. Jeff takes the shot Nick's handing him.
"I wanted to?"
"Just because? What made it, like, different?"
"Tonight?"
"Yeah."
"I'm drunk," Nick laughs softly and looks over at the boy that isn't sharing in his amusement.
"Oh." I don't know if I like this then.
Nick sighs and takes away both of their shots, setting them down on the coffee table in front of them.
"Jeff, I always think you're hot, that's just you. But I think it's a good night for tonight, do you want to? Because I do."
Hearts weren't meant to beat this fast.
"...Want to...?" Don'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsayit. Say it.
Nick hides his smirk by biting his lip and grinning. He leans forward to grab the shots off the table and hands Jeff's back to him.
"To your virginity?" Nick offers.
Again with the heart on crack feeling.
"Really? Are you sure?" Jeff's nervous, waiting for Nick to laugh at him and tell him to drive the two and half hours back to Ohio State.
Nick smirks and lets his hand fall to Jeff's thigh just because it can.
"I'm extremely sure that I want to make you feel good, yeah."
~*~
They're in the bedroom a lot sooner than Jeff had planned, but Nick said it was best to move from the couch now so that when Jeff's ready, they'll already be on a bed.
Their legs are entangled as they lay on their sides, but Nick's dominating their mouths, soon realizing that Jeff's not that great of a kisser (even if it's drunk Jeff).
To Nick's knowledge, Jeff's only made out with one other person, and it was this past October at an Ohio State party where Jeff goes to school. Apparently, the guy he made out with was just some random dude and Jeff's never talked to him again, so it's not a surprise to Nick that he's a bad kisser.
Well, he's not so bad.
Nick can teach him. What are friends for?
"You don't have to move your tongue around that much... You can use your lips, too, you know. Or mine..."
Feelings start changing.
Kissing Jeff is different than kissing other boys. Nick's not just kissing someone--he's kissing Jeff. It's something completely new. It's ni--no. Nick can't say it's nice. This is Jeff. Saying it's nice would mean he likes him, right?
Jeff's sucking in Nick's bottom lip, letting his hand slide down the brunette's side to rest on his hip. Nick really wants him to slide his hand further down, but he doesn't think Jeff will without permission though, that's just how Jeff is--
Or maybe not.
Nick feels pressure on his crotch, feeling a hand rub against the zipper of his jeans.
"Shit, I don't know why I did that, sorry..." Jeff laughs quietly as he leans his head down to avoid looking at Nick, feeling the embarrassment run to his cheeks. He really does blush too easily.
Nick smiles and lifts Jeff's chin up, paying careful attention to how close his thumb is to Jeff's bottom lip. He wants more of this sexually curious Jeff.
Play it right.
"Aw, what are you sorry for? It feels good. Don't be sorry..."
Nick props his arm up on the pillows and pulls his head only far enough away to look Jeff in the eyes. Jeff looks different--his lips are red and swollen, and Nick feels weird wanting to kiss them more. His eyes are glossy and they're doing that eye-crinkly thing that Jeff's eyes always do.
"Here, I have an idea... How about you kiss me wherever you want to kiss me the most. Okay?"
Pleasebemydick... Kurt would have commanded both of our clothes off by now, and I'd be sucking him off at the very least. Why do you just keep SMILING at me?
Jeff simply leans forward and gently presses a kiss to Nick's cheek. That's all. Nothing more.
He pulls away and frowns softly, choosing to stare at Nick's collarbone instead of the boy's eyes. He knows Nick wants him to be adventurous and kiss elsewhere, but Jeff's never been able to kiss Nick's cheek before. Now, he feels he has this small window of opportunity to show Nick how much he likes him--how much he doesn't care if he ever gets to see him naked (actually, he cares a whole awful lot, but even drunken Jeff is as sweet and innocent as puppies in a minefield).
Maybe he really should touch him down there again.
Just so you won't get mad at me.
Nick is confused by the cheek kiss. He could have sworn that he has kissed Jeff's cheek before and let Jeff kiss his cheek, so why didn't Jeff try to kiss somewhere creepy or something? Like his ear. Or his ankle. Or his toe.
Like, dammit, Jeff. Nick would rather discover Jeff has a foot fetish than have Jeff do one more cute thing like his cheek.
Why do you like me, Jeff? Can't this just be us having fun?
Nick forces a smile and goes to rub Jeff's cheek with his thumb, feeling the blond boy's face light up. Nick wishes he could feel how Jeff's feeling right now--a million different ways to say happy.
"I love you..." Not a lie.
"I'm really glad you came to see me." Still not a lie.
Jeff wants to say something in reply, but he's feeling too good to want to talk. So instead, he does what he thinks is the next best thing and straddles Nick's hips, waiting awkwardly for Nick to let him know it's okay to be doing this.
Do you really want to do this with me? To me?
Nick's a lot stronger than he looks, so it comes as a surprise to Jeff when he feels Nick's hands grabbing his hips tightly to be able to grind up on him.
Hearing Jeff moan is the strangest noise ever, especially when Nick is the cause of it. He's trying to separate the moans from the person, and luckily, it's not too hard for Nick to do.
Jeff's moans are short and breathy, nothing like what Nick relates Jeff to--they're sexy, and for some reason, he needs to hear Jeff moan his name. He needs to.
This feels way too good, this shouldn't feel this good. Nick shouldn't want to f--hrmm... God, it'd be so good though...
Nick slides Jeff's shirt off and kisses him before Jeff can protest. He kisses down his neck and then starts sucking hard on the boy's collarbone. Jeff lets out a strangled moan, not sure whether to tell Nick it kind of hurts or to encourage him. He goes with the latter, just so he won't move away.
He tilts his head to the side to try to get Nick to suck on his neck instead. I want a reminder of this night.
The friction of Nick grinding up on him is building up, and Nick's shirt needs to be off. His pants should be off too, so Jeff can get him off.
Jeff wants to think that even if he wasn't shitfaced right now, this would be happening regardless. That he would be moaning a little louder, not afraid to let Nick hear how much he's enjoying Nick grinding up on him.
He feels the bulge in Nick's jeans. Shit just got real.
"Come on, I want to feel you grinding down on me."
So, Jeff does. He moans louder and tries to slide down Nick's thighs to relieve some of the friction because it's embarrassing how good this is feeling, but Nick holds him in place, giving Jeff encouraging words to keep him grinding down.
"God, Jeff, do you feel that? I want to be inside you so badly. Can I? ...Have you ever thought about sucking me off? Have you ever wanted to? Fuck, I really want you to... It'd feel so good from you..."
Jeff's reaction to every motion Nick has been making tonight is enough to get him completely hard. He doesn't want Jeff sucking him off, because Nick feels like he'd definitely come in his mouth if he did. And even though that's a delightful thought, he really wants to try that even more awesome thing that could possibly make both of them feel awesome in time.
"Shirt off..." Jeff says suddenly, placing his hands on Nick's shoulders.
Cue lusty Nick eyes. Cue shirt off and Nick turning them around so Jeff's lying on the bed and Nick's on top of him.
He smirks. "Have you thought about sucking me off, Jeff?"
Jeff's legs are spread open, and that's pretty convenient, but it'd be cooler if both of their pants were off, Nick thinks.
Jeff moans when Nick presses down on him, and his hands come up to tangle in Nick's hair when the brunette boy leans his head in to kiss Jeff's ear.
"Have you?"
Jeff nods his head in the crook of Nick's neck and whimpers when he feels Nick's hand dip below Jeff's waist.
"Y-Yeah... Only sometimes, though..."
"Sometimes? Do you think about us fucking?"
He wraps his hand around Jeff's cock, and surprisingly, the more they get into it, the less Nick remembers that Jeff is also the same guy that yells at him over a headset when they're playing Call of Duty.
Jeff's head tilts up and his lips accidentally slip against Nick's ear from being buried in his neck.
Nick now declares that Jeff will need to suck his dick in the near future. There is no fucking way they are not doing this again.
"N-Nick. Don't say that word..."
And there it is.
Jeff's kindness and innocence hitting Nick's apparently stone-cold heart, when really, Nick knows he's definitely not heartless. He just wishes he was, sometimes. Like when Kurt would laugh and hug him, and Nick knew that for those few moments when Kurt stared at him with bright blue eyes that it meant something...
This is why Nick does the breaking up. So he can be mad at himself for ending something good in order to not blame the other person. He'd rather just never forgive himself than have to feel like someone else let him down.
Isn't that what he's doing to Jeff right now? Leading him on? Taking something that isn't Nick's to take? Fucking him over?
Nick takes his hand out of Jeff's jeans and sits up on the bed, staring at the pillows.
I can't do this to him.
However, of course, Jeff has to whimper the single hottest thing he could say right now:
"W-why'd you stop?"
Jeff really likes Nick. They're drunk, and they've come all the way to the bedroom from the party to do this.
In Nick's slightly fuzzy mind, it makes sense right now to take his clothes off so Jeff can see him naked.
We can get naked, but then that's it. Okay?
Jeff watches as Nick takes his pants off and then can't help but stare at his body.
Jeff's seen Nick cry after watching P.S. I Love You, watched him crack up over nothing until tears formed, and Nick's just Nick.
Now, he's naked. He's kind of perfect.
He's better than how Jeff has pictured him naked, because he can clearly see that Nick's flawed. His abs aren't as well defined, his torso seems long in comparison to his legs, and Nick's got a big nose.
Again, he's kind of perfect.
I've been staring too long.
Nick smiles when he notices Jeff looking away. "I don't mind. You're allowed to look, Jeff... As long as I get to see you, too."
Jeff bites his lip and smiles, getting under the covers before he decides to take his own pants off. He tosses them off the bed and lies awkwardly under the covers, smiling over at Nick in amusement and embarrassment.
Nick rolls his eyes and gets under the covers with him. Stop trying to be cute. I want to fuck you, not take you to Disney World.
Jeff moans softly when Nick presses up against him, feeling a wave of heat go through his body when Nick's semi-hard cock touches his own.
He lets out a shaky moan. "Nick..."
Yes. Thank you.
Nick smiles and kisses Jeff's forehead, leaning over him to get lube and a condom from his side table drawer. He wants to give Jeff a little more foreplay, but just when they're ready, it can already be there.
Jeff watches him set the two items at the edge of the bed and kisses Nick in anticipation. There's no one he'd rather be doing this with, even though he has the sneaking suspicion that Nick won't actually want to be with him after this.
It's a sad thought, but maybe Jeff's got a chance. Nick was the one that suggested they do this, right? He's the reason they're back at Nick's dorm. Nick broke up with Kurt, so that's got to mean something, right? Maybe Nick did it because he's slowly realizing he likes Jeff?
No. That's not why. But maybe if I'm good enough, he'll want to do this again. Maybe he'll want to go out with me, or maybe we can at least kiss, sometimes. Maybe he'll kiss me for no reason.
Jeff's eyebrows furrow when Nick leans back up to grab the lube to spread some of it on his fingers. He tells Jeff to turn around.
Jeff's eyes widen. "What? Why?"
"I don't want it to hurt. I need to stretch you."
"...Oh my god."
"What? You want it to hurt more than it has to?"
"...No."
"Turn around."
Jeff turns around to lie down on his stomach and folds his arms on the pillows. He hopes this doesn't take too long becau--oh.
Jeff's sensitive. Enough to make Nick completely hard just by hearing him whimpering and moaning softly. Nick doesn't feel like thinking. He needs to concentrate on the doing. He adds a second finger and waits for Jeff to relax. Not that he can--Nick's fingers are inside him and it hurts, but it's starting to feel good, because it's Nick and that makes everything better somehow.
Jeff's legs stiffen when he hesitantly adds a third finger, and Nick bites his lip when Jeff pushes back on them. It really shouldn't be this hot, because it's Jeff, but somehow that makes it so much better. However, Nick has to go back to pressing into him with one finger when Jeff starts making noises that aren't all that pleasurable sounding, but eventually, he's getting used to the feeling. Nick kisses his hair and asks him if he's ready to go slow, seeing Jeff nod his head against the pillow.
As Jeff's nodding, he wonders how Nick's going to want him, if Jeff should even have a say in the matter.
What if he just wants to picture Kurt and keep me on my stomach? Would that be better for him?
Jeff's stomach does flip flops when Nick motions for him to turn around and then he sees him putting the condom on. This is going to happen. Finally. Nick wants to do this with him.
Or maybe he just wants sex.
But you're being nice. It isn't just about feeling good, is it?
He doesn't want to hear the answer.
----
Nick gets in between his legs and wraps his hand around Jeff's dick and starts pumping to try to get him harder. Jeff's head presses into the pillows and he has to close his eyes because just watching Nick touch him is seriously enough to send him over the edge. That can't happen yet. Never.
Jeff's eyes are really nice. Jeff's everything is nice. Nick wants him.
He grinds into him until Jeff is writhing beneath him and telling Nick to "please, I need y--please, Nick..."
Jeff's legs are lifted up onto Nick's shoulders and Nick spreads his cheeks to make it easier to press in.
There's no way to describe the feeling. Jeff is really tight. It kind of sucks, because all Nick wants to do is pound into him and hear Jeff moan and beg for him to go faster, but Jeff's not going to do that any time soon. Instead, his palms are pressing hard into the mattress and his jaw is dropped with his eyes shut. Okay, so that's kind of awesome, anyway.
"Are you okay?" Nick asks quietly, rubbing Jeff's thigh for whatever soothing effect that could have on him.
Jeff's not sure what to say or if he even should say anything.
Isn't it just obligatory to ask that during sex?
Is it?
Jeff doesn't know. He hopes Nick's only asked him that, but he doubts it.
Then he remembers that Nick's had sex tons of times and that it probably isn't fun to have to wait for Jeff to get used to the feeling of a fucking cock inside him.
It hurts so fucking much.
Jeff nods and whimpers softly, suddenly crying out when he feels Nick start to move inside of him.
"Jeff, are you sure?"
No.
He nods quickly and bites his lip when Nick starts going harder. He wants this to feel good for Nick.
No "I love you"s, no talking since it's been replaced with moans, and Jeff strangely feels alright with this. He'd think it were weird if Nick started trying to make it romantic, because even though Jeff knows that's how Nick likes to be with his boyfriends, Jeff isn't Nick's boyfriend.
He's just a friend. A friend that happens to be in love with him.
Nick's trying not to go too hard, but Jeff's so encouraging with his stupid short moans, and Nick is going to come any second just because Jeff's so stupid and hot.
He grabs Jeff's cock to jack him off a few minutes before he comes, and he watches Jeff's face turn redder, watches him arch up into Nick's touch and come on his own stomach and in Nick's hand.
Nick doesn't have time to respond to Jeff's ridiculous apologies for coming in his hand, because a few moments later, he's speeding up and then his body feels like it's on fire until he's relaxing and quickly feeling exhausted.
He pulls out and grabs the box of tissues by his bed side table, and cleans himself off before giving Jeff some tissues, too.
Jeff doesn't feel different (besides the obvious physical exhaustion and reduced pain). It gives him weird hope for him and Nick over the fact that he doesn't regret what they just did.
In fact, he definitely doesn't regret what they just did when both of their breathing has relaxed and Nick's arm is wrapped around him in silence. He likes Nick's arms, and the fact that Nick is using a said arm to wrap around Jeff right now is neat.
Jeff feels neat. He's finally not a virgin anymore, and Nick's hot and he respects him, so that's a double bonus.
He's also in love with him.
That's... something.
~*~
Nick's lying there in silence, ready to go to sleep, when suddenly Jeff's lifting his hand up and he kisses it.
"Why are you kissing my hand?"
Jeff laughs softly and shrugs, leaning in closer to his best friend, but he makes sure to stay on his back because it still hurts to lay any other way.
"Because I like it. ...And I'm sorry for not telling you when I was about to like...yeah."
Nick smirks and closes his eyes, feeling Jeff take advantage of the situation by playing with Nick's foot with his own until Nick kicks him away playfully. He's too warm now to be too connected with him.
"Thanks, Nick," Jeff says quietly.
Goddammit. Stop giving yourself a pity party of whatever kind you're giving yourself. I'm not going to all of the sudden want to be with you just because we had sex--oh. So, okay. I guess you can have a pity party, but NOT when I'm in the room. It's inconsiderate...
Nick turns on his side and smiles down at him, putting a hand on Jeff's cheek to lean down and kiss him. He hates that Jeff smiles back at him.
It's in that moment that he wishes Jeff were Kurt. He hates himself for wishing that, but he does. Even if he likes Jeff, which he kind of feels happening, he's still just his best friend. He doesn't want to like him. Not yet, anyway.
Not when Jeff likes him this much. It makes him want to be mean to him to get him to stop liking him.
However, this is his best friend, and Nick's always thought of himself as a decent actor.
He won't pretend to be in love with him, but maybe if he lets Jeff down slowly then they'll still be friends at the end of this.
Jeff leans his cheek on Nick's arm and falls asleep within a few minutes of not talking.
He looks happy even in his sleep.
Nick always has nightmares.
How can he do that?
...What did I just do?
~*~
On a good day, Nick Owens is able to do whatever he wants without caring what happens.
He knows his limits; he knows what to say and how he should act. He knows how to make other people feel.
He knows.
How come this time he has no clue what to do next?
------
For anyone following the GROT21C verse, the next sequel will be "Summer time Klaine/Niff doing random shit", since a lot of people on the poll wanted that.
I'm not sure when I'll get around to it (big bangs to write and all), but it'll happen eventually/soon/ASAP!
Check my Tumblr if you want to know when new stuff is coming, or you can check my journal whenever your heart desires. <3
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None (unless you count chapter 6 of GROT21C! Lawl.)
Warnings: sex, underage drinking, strong language, implied Kurt/Blaine, past Nick/Kurt
Word Count: 5,372
Summary: Nick knows that Jeff's in love with him, but Nick just views him as a best friend. However, they're at a party up at Nick's college, Nick's drunk, and Jeff looks pretty kissable right about now. (I'm really great at summaries.)
A/N: This is a "missing" scene from chapter 6 of Great Romances of the 21st Century. However, I tried to write it so that it should make sense to anyone just wanting to read a short tale of how Jeff Galven lost his virginity. Yep.
As always, I have to thank star55 and teaboytoaliens for being rad betas and awesome ladies. <3
Nick is good at listening. He listened to Kurt like a song--a sweet, sad song with heavy piano and intricate lyrics that plays at just the right tempo. And then the song speeds up and gets faster and faster and then louder, and Nick just really wants to have sex with Kurt Hummel. It's a must.
But I broke up with him already.
Nick saw it coming--saw Blaine and Kurt coming in and out of each other, together, forever and ever.
It fucking sucks for Nick right now. He didn't want to break up with Kurt, but he had to.
"'Now, like, I really like you... You're so-' Nick bites his lip and moves into Kurt a little more, '-hot, and beautiful, and awesome, and you're hilarious. But if you think you might still like Blaine, then maybe we shouldn't be doing this right now.'
Kurt immediately frowns, leaning himself more towards Nick. 'Really? You're breaking up with me?'"
Regretful brain sigh.
Yes, Kurt, I had to. I had to break up with you before you broke up with me, okay?
That's just how Nick is. He needs to be in control, okay?
It's how he was raised. He has fucking horses, alright? Leave him and his horses alone.
So, yeah. That's what's happened so far. However, Nick may have forgotten one important figure in his life. A tall, lean, and slightly tanned figure.
It's okay though, because this figure is currently walking down the hall to Nick's dorm room to take a nap after driving two and a half hours to see him. This figure has floppy blond hair that would lighten the mood of any bad situation.
It's early December; it's the weekend. Jeff's here now, yes, Jeff, his best friend. Nick can forget about Kurt.
They have alcohol for tonight.
Nick can forget about Kurt.
Jeff really likes Nick still, Nick can tell. (Nick knows.)
Nick knows these things--knows that even though Jeff is smiling and laughing as Nick forces him down to take a nap--he sees it in Jeff's eyes. The "is it really okay if I sleep on your bed? You won't think I'll think it's more than it is?" look.
Jeff really fucking likes Nick. Always has. Thinks he always will.
Oh, yeah? You didn't know about that little bit of history?
Don't remind me.
Nick hates to be reminded of the time Jeff told him he was in love with him. It made things awkward between them.
It's been over two years since Nick's known this, but Jeff really can't get over him.
Nick went out of his way to date other guys--to fuck other guys--just so Jeff would get the hint that Nick would never date him.
See, Jeff? Get over me, dammit. I'll never fuck you.
Does that sound mean? Of course, it does.
Jeff really needs to know that Nick will never be with him. They're just friends.
Jeff is his best friend and is only here tonight so Nick and him can catch-up and play beer pong.
Nick will get drunk and sing Top 40's songs he usually hates, but it'll be hilarious, because he'll be drunk.
Nick can forget about Kurt.
Jeff's here.
~*~
There's a big party at one of the frat houses tonight, and right now, Nick and Jeff are pre-gaming in Nick's dorm. Jason, Nick's roommate, is getting along famously with Jeff as they talk enthusiastically about Blink-182 and Will Ferrell.
Fuck me. This kid is not my best friend anymore. I will replace you with myself, Jeff.
"Nick! ...Owens! ...Nick! Nick-Nick! Owens-Owens! Bow chicka woowww!"
"What, Jeff?"
"Can we go to the party now?" Jeff smiles, walking over to Nick with red cheeks and glossy eyes. He's pre-gamed enough for two.
Nick doesn't mean to think it, but for a moment, he thinks Jeff looks cute when he's drunk.
You're such a cheap drunk, Sir Galven.
----
Nick's already drunk when he gets to the party, but there's a two dollar beer keg, so he keeps drinking because he can.
Blaine's dominating the beer pong table, so Nick decides he'll stay far away from it until he leaves. He won't be beat by fucking Blaine.
He used to think Blaine was a cool guy, admired him even. Blaine's a good singer...
...He's also a terrific boyfriend stealer.
I hope your eyebrows grow into unpluckable isosceles triangles, ass. Unpluckable's not even a word, but I wish it upon you anyway.
It's been two hours since they've been here, and when Nick looks over the condensed crowd, he sees Kurt straddling Blaine's hips on an otherwise empty couch, and for a moment, it doesn't even register.
He can't believe that Kurt, a week and a half after not being with him, is straddling Blaine Anderson and is grinding into him.
They're going to fuck. No.
Nick can't walk away from this night knowing that his ex-boyfriend that he still likes is going to sleep with another guy. Kurt can't have that on him. He needs to find someone.
Nick looks over at Jeff standing by the beer pong table. He's wearing a white three-quarter length sleeved baseball shirt with blue sleeves, and Nick approves. White always makes Jeff's hair look blonder, making it more... appealing?
No. That's A Jeff. Don't think about it how I know you want to think about it.
Nick wants to pull at Jeff's hair when he's making out with him. He wants to mess it the fuck up, so then Kurt will get hurt how Nick's hurt right now, because THAT, ladies and gentlemen, makes perfect drunk sense.
Fuck Kurt Hummel.
Fuck it, I'm doing it.
----
Not thinking about what this might otherwise mean to Jeff, Nick goes over to the beer pong table and grabs Jeff's hand, pulling him off to the side.
Before Jeff can wonder why, Nick's lips are gently pressed against his.
Oh, yes. Nick knows how to play this. He can't just drag Jeff back to his dorm like he wants to, but with a little light shoving? It'll turn into a good night.
After he pulls back, Nick can see the worry in Jeff's eyes. The "your lips were just on mine, but were they actually there? What? What?".
It's kind of exciting. Nick thinks Jeff is finally getting what he wants.
Your welcome, Jeff.
"Nick, what's this?" Jeff says awkwardly, failing to not blush and lean into his best friend.
Kurt straddling Blaine is a burning image in Nick's mind. He can't let it stay there.
He pulls Jeff closer to him. "Hey, I think tonight's a great night to talk about us. Do you want to follow me back to my room right now?"
Jeff's mind is obviously not ready to handle this situation. He never thought it would happen.
Well, it's going to happen now.
~*~
Nick guides them through the mass amount of people, holding Jeff's hand to help him get out. Sometimes, you just have to shove your way through people. Everyone is too drunk to know how to move.
It's probably a good idea they're leaving now anyway. Nick hopes that the cops will come within the hour, since it's already passed one o'clock in the morning, and then maybe Kurt and Blaine will get MIPs.
No, don't get them. But I hope the cops cock-block you.
As they walk out onto Main Street, Nick feels Jeff's hand wanting to leave the grasp of his own, so he lets go. His hand was getting tired, anyway.
Jeff smiles and stops walking for a minute, staring back at Nick with a dumb grin.
"So, like, what did you want to talk about?"
Nick walks back towards Jeff and puts his hands on his hips. He smirks when he sees Jeff already looking at Nick's lips.
"I don't really want to talk..."
Nick slides his hand down Jeff's arm and holds his hand for a minute, feeling how long and slim Jeff's fingers are and how fuck. He thinks it'll be a good hand to have his dick held in. Even more so, he bets every part of Jeff is this smooth.
"Do you want to not talk with me, also?"
It takes Jeff a couple moments to really consider what Nick is implying. He's never been good at guessing, and he's already proven to himself that he never knows what Nick is thinking, so he'll have to ask this time.
Jeff leans into him and smirks, feeling bold enough to raise an arm to wrap over Nick's shoulder and to curl his fingers around the nap of Nick's neck. His hair feels soft in between Jeff's fingers, and the taller boy wastes no time in burying his head in the crook of Nick's neck.
He tries hard to not let his words stumble out. "I... wanna talk... if you wanna talk, but I don't want to talk if you don't want to..."
Nick laughs as Jeff attempts to lift him up. It's a nice feeling--drunk Jeff clinging to him like Nick is all he's ever wanted. Which is probably true.
And Nick likes feeling desired, it's what he lives for. Why didn't he try to have sex with Jeff sooner? Gosh.
Jeff fumbles around the sidewalk, laughing quietly as Nick drags him out of the street when he gets too far towards the center of the road.
For three shots of Captain Morgan and seven beers, I'd say you're doing alright.
On the way back to the dorms across campus, Nick decides they need to drink more when they get back.
His dick wants to have sex with Jeff. His head is nodding at his dick, but it's telling him to "take shots when you get to your dorm. Drown me in alcohol and you'll have a good excuse for doing what you're about to do. Two thumbs up, yeah?"
----
Nick goes into his dorm to make sure his room mate isn't there yet and then quickly tells Jeff to sit on the couch while he pours them shots.
Jeff plops down on the couch and looks to Nick like he's staring off into space, when really, sober Jeff is trying to resurface and have him question what he's maybe about to do.
I have to finish that paper for bio. I wonder if Nick was supposed to do homework, but instead I'm here, taking up his couch space. ...Will he fu--hm. Hmmm. Shit. What am I doing? He doesn't like you. He's really drunk. You're really drun--no. I'm fine. But he's drunk.
"Nick?"
"Yeah huh?"
"Why'd you kiss me?"
Nick comes over to the couch with the two shots and sits down next to him. Jeff takes the shot Nick's handing him.
"I wanted to?"
"Just because? What made it, like, different?"
"Tonight?"
"Yeah."
"I'm drunk," Nick laughs softly and looks over at the boy that isn't sharing in his amusement.
"Oh." I don't know if I like this then.
Nick sighs and takes away both of their shots, setting them down on the coffee table in front of them.
"Jeff, I always think you're hot, that's just you. But I think it's a good night for tonight, do you want to? Because I do."
Hearts weren't meant to beat this fast.
"...Want to...?" Don'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsayit. Say it.
Nick hides his smirk by biting his lip and grinning. He leans forward to grab the shots off the table and hands Jeff's back to him.
"To your virginity?" Nick offers.
Again with the heart on crack feeling.
"Really? Are you sure?" Jeff's nervous, waiting for Nick to laugh at him and tell him to drive the two and half hours back to Ohio State.
Nick smirks and lets his hand fall to Jeff's thigh just because it can.
"I'm extremely sure that I want to make you feel good, yeah."
~*~
They're in the bedroom a lot sooner than Jeff had planned, but Nick said it was best to move from the couch now so that when Jeff's ready, they'll already be on a bed.
Their legs are entangled as they lay on their sides, but Nick's dominating their mouths, soon realizing that Jeff's not that great of a kisser (even if it's drunk Jeff).
To Nick's knowledge, Jeff's only made out with one other person, and it was this past October at an Ohio State party where Jeff goes to school. Apparently, the guy he made out with was just some random dude and Jeff's never talked to him again, so it's not a surprise to Nick that he's a bad kisser.
Well, he's not so bad.
Nick can teach him. What are friends for?
"You don't have to move your tongue around that much... You can use your lips, too, you know. Or mine..."
Feelings start changing.
Kissing Jeff is different than kissing other boys. Nick's not just kissing someone--he's kissing Jeff. It's something completely new. It's ni--no. Nick can't say it's nice. This is Jeff. Saying it's nice would mean he likes him, right?
Jeff's sucking in Nick's bottom lip, letting his hand slide down the brunette's side to rest on his hip. Nick really wants him to slide his hand further down, but he doesn't think Jeff will without permission though, that's just how Jeff is--
Or maybe not.
Nick feels pressure on his crotch, feeling a hand rub against the zipper of his jeans.
"Shit, I don't know why I did that, sorry..." Jeff laughs quietly as he leans his head down to avoid looking at Nick, feeling the embarrassment run to his cheeks. He really does blush too easily.
Nick smiles and lifts Jeff's chin up, paying careful attention to how close his thumb is to Jeff's bottom lip. He wants more of this sexually curious Jeff.
Play it right.
"Aw, what are you sorry for? It feels good. Don't be sorry..."
Nick props his arm up on the pillows and pulls his head only far enough away to look Jeff in the eyes. Jeff looks different--his lips are red and swollen, and Nick feels weird wanting to kiss them more. His eyes are glossy and they're doing that eye-crinkly thing that Jeff's eyes always do.
"Here, I have an idea... How about you kiss me wherever you want to kiss me the most. Okay?"
Pleasebemydick... Kurt would have commanded both of our clothes off by now, and I'd be sucking him off at the very least. Why do you just keep SMILING at me?
Jeff simply leans forward and gently presses a kiss to Nick's cheek. That's all. Nothing more.
He pulls away and frowns softly, choosing to stare at Nick's collarbone instead of the boy's eyes. He knows Nick wants him to be adventurous and kiss elsewhere, but Jeff's never been able to kiss Nick's cheek before. Now, he feels he has this small window of opportunity to show Nick how much he likes him--how much he doesn't care if he ever gets to see him naked (actually, he cares a whole awful lot, but even drunken Jeff is as sweet and innocent as puppies in a minefield).
Maybe he really should touch him down there again.
Just so you won't get mad at me.
Nick is confused by the cheek kiss. He could have sworn that he has kissed Jeff's cheek before and let Jeff kiss his cheek, so why didn't Jeff try to kiss somewhere creepy or something? Like his ear. Or his ankle. Or his toe.
Like, dammit, Jeff. Nick would rather discover Jeff has a foot fetish than have Jeff do one more cute thing like his cheek.
Why do you like me, Jeff? Can't this just be us having fun?
Nick forces a smile and goes to rub Jeff's cheek with his thumb, feeling the blond boy's face light up. Nick wishes he could feel how Jeff's feeling right now--a million different ways to say happy.
"I love you..." Not a lie.
"I'm really glad you came to see me." Still not a lie.
Jeff wants to say something in reply, but he's feeling too good to want to talk. So instead, he does what he thinks is the next best thing and straddles Nick's hips, waiting awkwardly for Nick to let him know it's okay to be doing this.
Do you really want to do this with me? To me?
Nick's a lot stronger than he looks, so it comes as a surprise to Jeff when he feels Nick's hands grabbing his hips tightly to be able to grind up on him.
Hearing Jeff moan is the strangest noise ever, especially when Nick is the cause of it. He's trying to separate the moans from the person, and luckily, it's not too hard for Nick to do.
Jeff's moans are short and breathy, nothing like what Nick relates Jeff to--they're sexy, and for some reason, he needs to hear Jeff moan his name. He needs to.
This feels way too good, this shouldn't feel this good. Nick shouldn't want to f--hrmm... God, it'd be so good though...
Nick slides Jeff's shirt off and kisses him before Jeff can protest. He kisses down his neck and then starts sucking hard on the boy's collarbone. Jeff lets out a strangled moan, not sure whether to tell Nick it kind of hurts or to encourage him. He goes with the latter, just so he won't move away.
He tilts his head to the side to try to get Nick to suck on his neck instead. I want a reminder of this night.
The friction of Nick grinding up on him is building up, and Nick's shirt needs to be off. His pants should be off too, so Jeff can get him off.
Jeff wants to think that even if he wasn't shitfaced right now, this would be happening regardless. That he would be moaning a little louder, not afraid to let Nick hear how much he's enjoying Nick grinding up on him.
He feels the bulge in Nick's jeans. Shit just got real.
"Come on, I want to feel you grinding down on me."
So, Jeff does. He moans louder and tries to slide down Nick's thighs to relieve some of the friction because it's embarrassing how good this is feeling, but Nick holds him in place, giving Jeff encouraging words to keep him grinding down.
"God, Jeff, do you feel that? I want to be inside you so badly. Can I? ...Have you ever thought about sucking me off? Have you ever wanted to? Fuck, I really want you to... It'd feel so good from you..."
Jeff's reaction to every motion Nick has been making tonight is enough to get him completely hard. He doesn't want Jeff sucking him off, because Nick feels like he'd definitely come in his mouth if he did. And even though that's a delightful thought, he really wants to try that even more awesome thing that could possibly make both of them feel awesome in time.
"Shirt off..." Jeff says suddenly, placing his hands on Nick's shoulders.
Cue lusty Nick eyes. Cue shirt off and Nick turning them around so Jeff's lying on the bed and Nick's on top of him.
He smirks. "Have you thought about sucking me off, Jeff?"
Jeff's legs are spread open, and that's pretty convenient, but it'd be cooler if both of their pants were off, Nick thinks.
Jeff moans when Nick presses down on him, and his hands come up to tangle in Nick's hair when the brunette boy leans his head in to kiss Jeff's ear.
"Have you?"
Jeff nods his head in the crook of Nick's neck and whimpers when he feels Nick's hand dip below Jeff's waist.
"Y-Yeah... Only sometimes, though..."
"Sometimes? Do you think about us fucking?"
He wraps his hand around Jeff's cock, and surprisingly, the more they get into it, the less Nick remembers that Jeff is also the same guy that yells at him over a headset when they're playing Call of Duty.
Jeff's head tilts up and his lips accidentally slip against Nick's ear from being buried in his neck.
Nick now declares that Jeff will need to suck his dick in the near future. There is no fucking way they are not doing this again.
"N-Nick. Don't say that word..."
And there it is.
Jeff's kindness and innocence hitting Nick's apparently stone-cold heart, when really, Nick knows he's definitely not heartless. He just wishes he was, sometimes. Like when Kurt would laugh and hug him, and Nick knew that for those few moments when Kurt stared at him with bright blue eyes that it meant something...
This is why Nick does the breaking up. So he can be mad at himself for ending something good in order to not blame the other person. He'd rather just never forgive himself than have to feel like someone else let him down.
Isn't that what he's doing to Jeff right now? Leading him on? Taking something that isn't Nick's to take? Fucking him over?
Nick takes his hand out of Jeff's jeans and sits up on the bed, staring at the pillows.
I can't do this to him.
However, of course, Jeff has to whimper the single hottest thing he could say right now:
"W-why'd you stop?"
Jeff really likes Nick. They're drunk, and they've come all the way to the bedroom from the party to do this.
In Nick's slightly fuzzy mind, it makes sense right now to take his clothes off so Jeff can see him naked.
We can get naked, but then that's it. Okay?
Jeff watches as Nick takes his pants off and then can't help but stare at his body.
Jeff's seen Nick cry after watching P.S. I Love You, watched him crack up over nothing until tears formed, and Nick's just Nick.
Now, he's naked. He's kind of perfect.
He's better than how Jeff has pictured him naked, because he can clearly see that Nick's flawed. His abs aren't as well defined, his torso seems long in comparison to his legs, and Nick's got a big nose.
Again, he's kind of perfect.
I've been staring too long.
Nick smiles when he notices Jeff looking away. "I don't mind. You're allowed to look, Jeff... As long as I get to see you, too."
Jeff bites his lip and smiles, getting under the covers before he decides to take his own pants off. He tosses them off the bed and lies awkwardly under the covers, smiling over at Nick in amusement and embarrassment.
Nick rolls his eyes and gets under the covers with him. Stop trying to be cute. I want to fuck you, not take you to Disney World.
Jeff moans softly when Nick presses up against him, feeling a wave of heat go through his body when Nick's semi-hard cock touches his own.
He lets out a shaky moan. "Nick..."
Yes. Thank you.
Nick smiles and kisses Jeff's forehead, leaning over him to get lube and a condom from his side table drawer. He wants to give Jeff a little more foreplay, but just when they're ready, it can already be there.
Jeff watches him set the two items at the edge of the bed and kisses Nick in anticipation. There's no one he'd rather be doing this with, even though he has the sneaking suspicion that Nick won't actually want to be with him after this.
It's a sad thought, but maybe Jeff's got a chance. Nick was the one that suggested they do this, right? He's the reason they're back at Nick's dorm. Nick broke up with Kurt, so that's got to mean something, right? Maybe Nick did it because he's slowly realizing he likes Jeff?
No. That's not why. But maybe if I'm good enough, he'll want to do this again. Maybe he'll want to go out with me, or maybe we can at least kiss, sometimes. Maybe he'll kiss me for no reason.
Jeff's eyebrows furrow when Nick leans back up to grab the lube to spread some of it on his fingers. He tells Jeff to turn around.
Jeff's eyes widen. "What? Why?"
"I don't want it to hurt. I need to stretch you."
"...Oh my god."
"What? You want it to hurt more than it has to?"
"...No."
"Turn around."
Jeff turns around to lie down on his stomach and folds his arms on the pillows. He hopes this doesn't take too long becau--oh.
Jeff's sensitive. Enough to make Nick completely hard just by hearing him whimpering and moaning softly. Nick doesn't feel like thinking. He needs to concentrate on the doing. He adds a second finger and waits for Jeff to relax. Not that he can--Nick's fingers are inside him and it hurts, but it's starting to feel good, because it's Nick and that makes everything better somehow.
Jeff's legs stiffen when he hesitantly adds a third finger, and Nick bites his lip when Jeff pushes back on them. It really shouldn't be this hot, because it's Jeff, but somehow that makes it so much better. However, Nick has to go back to pressing into him with one finger when Jeff starts making noises that aren't all that pleasurable sounding, but eventually, he's getting used to the feeling. Nick kisses his hair and asks him if he's ready to go slow, seeing Jeff nod his head against the pillow.
As Jeff's nodding, he wonders how Nick's going to want him, if Jeff should even have a say in the matter.
What if he just wants to picture Kurt and keep me on my stomach? Would that be better for him?
Jeff's stomach does flip flops when Nick motions for him to turn around and then he sees him putting the condom on. This is going to happen. Finally. Nick wants to do this with him.
Or maybe he just wants sex.
But you're being nice. It isn't just about feeling good, is it?
He doesn't want to hear the answer.
----
Nick gets in between his legs and wraps his hand around Jeff's dick and starts pumping to try to get him harder. Jeff's head presses into the pillows and he has to close his eyes because just watching Nick touch him is seriously enough to send him over the edge. That can't happen yet. Never.
Jeff's eyes are really nice. Jeff's everything is nice. Nick wants him.
He grinds into him until Jeff is writhing beneath him and telling Nick to "please, I need y--please, Nick..."
Jeff's legs are lifted up onto Nick's shoulders and Nick spreads his cheeks to make it easier to press in.
There's no way to describe the feeling. Jeff is really tight. It kind of sucks, because all Nick wants to do is pound into him and hear Jeff moan and beg for him to go faster, but Jeff's not going to do that any time soon. Instead, his palms are pressing hard into the mattress and his jaw is dropped with his eyes shut. Okay, so that's kind of awesome, anyway.
"Are you okay?" Nick asks quietly, rubbing Jeff's thigh for whatever soothing effect that could have on him.
Jeff's not sure what to say or if he even should say anything.
Isn't it just obligatory to ask that during sex?
Is it?
Jeff doesn't know. He hopes Nick's only asked him that, but he doubts it.
Then he remembers that Nick's had sex tons of times and that it probably isn't fun to have to wait for Jeff to get used to the feeling of a fucking cock inside him.
It hurts so fucking much.
Jeff nods and whimpers softly, suddenly crying out when he feels Nick start to move inside of him.
"Jeff, are you sure?"
No.
He nods quickly and bites his lip when Nick starts going harder. He wants this to feel good for Nick.
No "I love you"s, no talking since it's been replaced with moans, and Jeff strangely feels alright with this. He'd think it were weird if Nick started trying to make it romantic, because even though Jeff knows that's how Nick likes to be with his boyfriends, Jeff isn't Nick's boyfriend.
He's just a friend. A friend that happens to be in love with him.
Nick's trying not to go too hard, but Jeff's so encouraging with his stupid short moans, and Nick is going to come any second just because Jeff's so stupid and hot.
He grabs Jeff's cock to jack him off a few minutes before he comes, and he watches Jeff's face turn redder, watches him arch up into Nick's touch and come on his own stomach and in Nick's hand.
Nick doesn't have time to respond to Jeff's ridiculous apologies for coming in his hand, because a few moments later, he's speeding up and then his body feels like it's on fire until he's relaxing and quickly feeling exhausted.
He pulls out and grabs the box of tissues by his bed side table, and cleans himself off before giving Jeff some tissues, too.
Jeff doesn't feel different (besides the obvious physical exhaustion and reduced pain). It gives him weird hope for him and Nick over the fact that he doesn't regret what they just did.
In fact, he definitely doesn't regret what they just did when both of their breathing has relaxed and Nick's arm is wrapped around him in silence. He likes Nick's arms, and the fact that Nick is using a said arm to wrap around Jeff right now is neat.
Jeff feels neat. He's finally not a virgin anymore, and Nick's hot and he respects him, so that's a double bonus.
He's also in love with him.
That's... something.
~*~
Nick's lying there in silence, ready to go to sleep, when suddenly Jeff's lifting his hand up and he kisses it.
"Why are you kissing my hand?"
Jeff laughs softly and shrugs, leaning in closer to his best friend, but he makes sure to stay on his back because it still hurts to lay any other way.
"Because I like it. ...And I'm sorry for not telling you when I was about to like...yeah."
Nick smirks and closes his eyes, feeling Jeff take advantage of the situation by playing with Nick's foot with his own until Nick kicks him away playfully. He's too warm now to be too connected with him.
"Thanks, Nick," Jeff says quietly.
Goddammit. Stop giving yourself a pity party of whatever kind you're giving yourself. I'm not going to all of the sudden want to be with you just because we had sex--oh. So, okay. I guess you can have a pity party, but NOT when I'm in the room. It's inconsiderate...
Nick turns on his side and smiles down at him, putting a hand on Jeff's cheek to lean down and kiss him. He hates that Jeff smiles back at him.
It's in that moment that he wishes Jeff were Kurt. He hates himself for wishing that, but he does. Even if he likes Jeff, which he kind of feels happening, he's still just his best friend. He doesn't want to like him. Not yet, anyway.
Not when Jeff likes him this much. It makes him want to be mean to him to get him to stop liking him.
However, this is his best friend, and Nick's always thought of himself as a decent actor.
He won't pretend to be in love with him, but maybe if he lets Jeff down slowly then they'll still be friends at the end of this.
Jeff leans his cheek on Nick's arm and falls asleep within a few minutes of not talking.
He looks happy even in his sleep.
Nick always has nightmares.
How can he do that?
...What did I just do?
~*~
On a good day, Nick Owens is able to do whatever he wants without caring what happens.
He knows his limits; he knows what to say and how he should act. He knows how to make other people feel.
He knows.
How come this time he has no clue what to do next?
------
For anyone following the GROT21C verse, the next sequel will be "Summer time Klaine/Niff doing random shit", since a lot of people on the poll wanted that.
I'm not sure when I'll get around to it (big bangs to write and all), but it'll happen eventually/soon/ASAP!
Check my Tumblr if you want to know when new stuff is coming, or you can check my journal whenever your heart desires. <3