Fic: Lullabies At 3 AM (Part 4/4)
Title: Lullabies at 3 AM
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 3,711/(16,176 total)
Summary: Kurt goes to a friend's bonfire in his senior year of high school. There, he meets a boy named Blaine, and it's the first time he ever gets to cuddle in bed with a boy, but that's all that happens. They seem to get a long really well, and without meaning to, Kurt has a nice and nerve wrecking idea forming: he thinks he might really like Blaine.
Warnings: slight future!fic AU, an OC, underage drinking, slight angst, concentrated fluff, sexual situations
Author's Notes: Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. I am SO sorry that I haven't updated this in a while. There were other stories to finish and such, but here you go now!
Part 1: Add Me On Facebook | Part 2: Flirtatious Texting 101 | Part 3: Let's Hang Out Soon
It's Friday night again, but Kurt's not sure this time if he should go to Robin's. Ice cream with Blaine last week was filled with mint chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles, but Blaine hadn't tried kissing him. Granted, he paid for the ice cream and even offered to buy Kurt's dad some to avoid an awkward sex conversation for him, but it seemed like now he was just trying to be friendly. Kurt doesn't have many friends, but a few is enough for him. He wants a new type of friend, someone that will publicly and privately say, "I feel something more for you. You're better than all the rest". Kurt and his low self-esteem don't expect the hot boy with a quirky charm and a great smile to want him. It'd just be really, really amazing if he did.
So, even though he's been thinking about tonight all week, and even though he's replayed every single thing Blaine's said to him about three times over, and even though he wants nothing more than to see him tonight, he's not going to go to Robin's. He's afraid that he's wanting all of Blaine all too quickly, and he's not sure if what his body wants and feels is what the rest of him wants.
His mind's trying to tell him that being friends with benefits would be enough, that as long as he got to kiss Blaine and be around him, then that'd be good enough. He'd have a dream come true.
You don't really want a relationship anyway, Kurt. That'd make you way too vulnerable, and you don't want to have to trust anyone with your feelings. It'd still be like you were in a relationship, and hey, you live in Lima... You won't find another great guy like this again for a long time.
But that's the deciding factor for Kurt. If Blaine is such a great guy, then he should want to date him.
Me, myself, and I aren't giving all of us up that easily. You'll have to really want to hold me before I let myself fall further for you.
Sometimes, Kurt hates that his cell phone tells him who's calling. Right now, it's preparing him to hear Blaine's voice directed towards him. Kurt doesn't even have a called ID picture set for him when he calls, but all Kurt needs to see is the name 'Blaine' blinking across the screen as it buzzes to have his heart pounding. He knows Blaine's just going to ask him if he's going to Robin's tonight. He thinks Blaine will expect them to get drunk and have sex.
His tone is confident when Kurt answers. "Hey! Do you know what you're doing tonight?"
Kurt wants to sigh. "Um, not really yet. My dad doesn't me spending the night at Robin's tonight, though."
"Oh, well, that's fine! That's not what you're doing, anyway."
"...Oh?"
"Yeah, I'm actually picking you up and you're coming over my house to watch a movie."
Kurt's heart is doing that thing it does when it dies. "Am I now?"
"Yup! I'm surprised you didn't know! Good thing I called..."
"Yeah, good thing... What movie?"
What Blaine says next makes Kurt's heart, well, you know... stop. "Whatever you want."
Whatever I want? That'd be you.
He tells Blaine that it's an unfair drive to pick him up just to take him back to Blaine's house. They'll meet at a video store in between their houses, and then drive separately back to Blaine's. In case I need to leave.
----
When they walk into the video store together, Kurt's walking closely behind Blaine who looks like he knows his way around it pretty well. They both know they don't like action or horror movies, but they walk down those aisles anyway, just so they can laugh and make fun of bad movie titles. Kurt likes being this close to Blaine, he likes thinking that the other people in the video store think they're probably going out. He likes that no one's giving them dirty looks, and he likes that he could almost picture himself doing this every Friday.
They settle on Moulin Rogue!, not because they haven't seen it (they both could probably belt every single song for you), but because they both have seen it. It's the equivalent of going to the movies with a new boyfriend or girlfriend to see a horror film. Unless you are really into the horror genre, the entire film is there just as background noise between your kisses and reason for holding hands. Kurt thinks he's okay with this until they get to Blaine's house.
Blaine's house is rather large compared to Kurt's. It's not the size of a mansion, but it's the size of a house Kurt expected a private school boy with an expensive guitar to live in. It's nice, well-decorated, and not surprisingly, it doesn't feel like a real home. Kurt doubts that Blaine has memories of playing tea party with his parents or neighborhood friends on the nice hardwood floor when he was seven. He doubts he's spilled grape juice on the expensive cushion chairs or on the perfectly white carpet in the living room. Blaine says his parents are strict, but luckily, he says they're not home tonight. Kurt's not sure if this is as good of an idea as Blaine makes it sound. He hopes even more that he doesn't expect anything from him. Like, oh, I don't know... My virginity?
They go to watch the film downstairs, and Kurt's starting to realize what a terrible idea it is to be watching a romantic musical that means a lot to him. He's not even sure how Blaine really feels about him, and he's honestly not sure if he can take watching the ending.
He pauses it before the song "Come What May" starts playing, afraid he'll get way too emotional in the middle of it. We're not even close to here yet. Why are we watching this? Why do I think that I... love you? I really don't know anything about you.
Blaine's arm has been pressed against his the entire film, and when Kurt pauses it, he turns his head to look at him with confusion. "Why'd you pause it?"
Kurt scoots down the couch to be able to look at him directly and to not be so close. "I really like that song," he says with heavy meaning attached to the end. Blaine wonders for a minute what he's really saying.
"Yeah, I do, too."
Kurt wants to scream and cry out his frustration. He'll stay calm for this, though. It's feels important that he does. "If you haven't noticed... I don't do this a lot."
"Don't do what?" Blaine folds his legs on the couch and turns with his back facing the arm rest to look at Kurt.
Kurt shrugs, looking down at the couch. "Sleep in the same bed as a boy that would be okay with me getting close; sing a song with him, and rake leaves and get ice cream with him. I don't have a friend like you, Blaine." He looks up at him when he says his name, a hesitant edge to his voice. He catches the nervous glance in Blaine's eyes, but it only makes him want to explain further.
"...I've never felt like this before. Maybe moments of it, but never really acknowledged that it could be anything real with someone real. It's strange, scary, and I don't like it, but I really, really do like it. ...Sorry."
He thinks Blaine's just going to stay quiet, but after Kurt apologizes for saying what he feels, Blaine puts his hand on his knee comfortingly. "Kurt, I like you, too, it's just..." He looks at the TV for safety, but has no choice but to look back at Kurt and talk to him. "It's just really hard for me to trust anyone again, right now, anyway. I mean, I trust you, you're really nice, but I don't know... I can't trust myself to--"
"Be vulnerable? Tell someone how you really feel and let yourself get hurt by that person? Yeah, I know the feeling."
Blaine just sighs and tells him he should spend the night, so they can talk more about it.
Kurt doesn't even need to think about it. "No."
"Why not?"
"Because when I'm near you, I don't think right."
"What do you mean 'not right'?"
Kurt crosses his arms to feel more protected. "I let my guard down around you after about an hour. I feel excited being vulnerable, and the worst part is that I don't even care if I get hurt, as long as you know how I feel. You just confuse the hell out of me, really. One minute you're kissing me and saying slightly dirty things, and then you're not smiling and telling me that your last boyfriend left you not trusting anyone. You've probably pulled this on other guys, but it's nice to hear it anyway that there's maybe someone out there that... I don't know." For a minute when Blaine doesn't say anything, he thinks he's just ruined any chance of ever being with him. He realizes that he'd rather be able to kiss and smile with Blaine than have to go back to feeling so alone. Hell, he'll sleep with him if it would make this silence less awkward, he'd even--
Kurt's thoughts are interrupted by Blaine crossing over the couch and grabbing his face in his hands. He waits a moment to make sure Kurt doesn't want to pull back, and then kisses him hard. They're kissing; it feels nice. However, it feels too forced. Kurt wants to pull back, but Blaine's such a good kisser that he knows he'd regret asking him to stop. He just wants to never let go. It would physically hurt me to be away from you.
After a few minutes, Blaine pulls back slightly, not before pecking Kurt's lips a few times and smiling as he sits back down on the couch. He gets up and goes over to a large basket filled with blankets by the TV. He brings a large one back and wraps it around both of them. He hugs him in it and then finally gets Kurt to rest on top of him. Kurt feels awkward, because Blaine's shorter than him and he feels like he'll squish him, but when Blaine repeatedly says that he's not going to hurt him, then he relaxes and lets his head rest on Blaine's chest.
The lights were already off during the movie, and so when Blaine turns the TV off because they're not watching anything, it feels like they're in a bed just with Kurt on top of him. Blaine puts a hand on his lower back and then his other hand reaches for Kurt's hair to gently thread his fingers through it. "You're beautiful," he whispers, even though he doesn't need to be quiet.
Kurt blushes and turns his head slightly to kiss Blaine's chest. He feels light when Blaine laughs softly and it shakes practically his whole body. As happy as he feels right now, he's still worried that he said too much. After tonight, what will happen to him if Blaine never calls or texts to hang out again?
He moans softly when he feels Blaine slowly grab his hips to start lightly pressing up into him. He knows what he wants, and his body wants to give it to him. Badly. Kurt sits up to straddle Blaine's waist, and as he does, Blaine sits up to grind into him at an easier angle. It feels too good, the friction causing both of their jeans to feel too tight for comfort. His parents aren't home. He has a bed upstairs. His parents aren't home. Maybe we could just fall in love after this.
Blaine puts a hand over Kurt's when he feels Kurt's hand drift to his zipper. For a moment, Kurt thinks that Blaine just wants to press his hand even harder over his growing erection, but then Blaine's hand is gently removing Kurt's off his body and he's leaning into his ear, pressing a kiss to the side of Kurt's cheek. "Wanna go upstairs?"
He should be able to take Kurt's raising heart rate as an answer, but he waits for a verbal reply. "Um, sure. Yes."
Blaine smiles and takes his hand as they walk up the stairs. I'm going to see his room. I wonder how much time he actually spends in it.
They lie down on the bed in the dark, and the first thing Blaine does is get on top of him. They continue what they were doing downstairs, but this time, Blaine takes both of their shirts off and grinds into Kurt hard and without rest. Kurt starts believing that he'd definitely be into rough sex if intense grinding is any indication, but he's a little too embarrassed to continue thinking about that right now. He softly gasps when he feels Blaine's hand slide down his torso and rub him hard through his jeans. Blaine keeps up his hand motion, but leans down to kiss him and smirk. "God, that little sound... You're incredible." Kurt whimpers when Blaine starts kissing down his neck, keeping up the friction in his jeans. "Kurt, god, please. Let me touch you..."
If there were two definite sides to Kurt's mind, they'd be labeled as such: teenage boy and cock-blocker of the century. Something won't leave his mind. It's what Blaine said about his ex-boyfriend. "He cheated on me, more than once...All we were was sex. I thought it was more, but apparently not."
Blaine does like him, Kurt believes that much. Maybe, he wants to have sex with him and be good friends, but if he can't date him or even be open to the idea, then this isn't going to work. There's a reason Blaine's so confused on his feelings, and well, guess what? Kurt Hummel is like Kelly Clarkson. He does "not hook up, up... [he goes] slow". Exactly, Kelly.
Kurt taps Blaine's shoulder, getting his attention as politely and non-verbally as possible before he thinks of what to say next. Blaine slowly takes his hand off Kurt and looks at him curiously. "Hm?"
Don't regret it, whatever you say. "...I'm not sex."
Blaine stares at him hard, but replies too quickly for Kurt's liking. "I know."
"I can't spend the night, I'm sorry. I can't do this, I actually like you, and I'm not going to be your rebound or experiment. I don't want to eventually hate you or disrespect you, so, I'm just going home. Okay?" He gets off the bed and puts his shirt back on. "I'm sorry I'm such a cock-block, sort of, but I can't do this."
Blaine follows him down the stairs shirtless, stopping by the door where Kurt's quickly getting his shoes on. "Kurt, I didn't mean anything bad by it. I told you I'm not taking advantage of you."
Kurt looks at him as he's opening the door. "Yeah, that's what I want to believe, too."
He leaves and doesn't turn back. He said what he wanted to say, he doesn't regret being that harsh about it, but... Why does it feel like a mistake anyway?
~*~
Kurt luckily has full day shifts at the candle store the rest of the weekend, but he still dreads Monday when it comes. Not that Blaine would be at McKinley, but just seeing any dark brown, curly haired kid is going to remind him of that smile.
He's by his locker when Finn and Robin suddenly walk up next to him with interesting looks on their faces. Scratch interesting--weird, smiling faces. Wait... Robin and Finn? Standing here? Together? Knowing what each other even look like? What?
"Hi, guys...?"
Robin smiles and pats Finn's back hard to make him talk. "Ow! Yeah, uh, hey, Kurt... What's up?" They're standing so close together that Kurt can't even see what's behind them because Finn's so tall.
"...How do you two know each other? I've never had you meet on purpose."
Robin rolls her eyes and sighs. "We've been instructed to stall you from leaving your locker."
"What?"
Robin and Finn both turn to their sides when a third figure steps into the circle. It's Blaine. With coffee. And a piece of paper. "Hi, Kurt."
Kurt forgets that Robin and Finn are standing there, but that doesn't seem to be much of a problem, because as soon as Blaine steps closer, they're both walking away towards their first hour class (not before Robin giggles and hugs Finn tightly. Kurt swears that he hears the word "bridesmaid").
"What are you doing here, Blaine?" He can't believe he's here, at McKinley. He just said his name out loud to him in the hallway and no one is even paying attention to them. It's already an amazing moment.
Blaine's just smiling at him with a look on his face that makes Kurt's stomach feel tight and fluttery. He's not sure what's about to happen.
"You look really nice today..."
Kurt ignores the compliment. "...What's with the paper?"
Blaine bites his lip and sticks the small piece of paper out to him. "It's my favorite lullaby. ...I usually sing my feelings, but this described them better than I can right now." Kurt takes the note from him and reads:
The itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again
Kurt folds the paper gently in his hand, and then looks at Blaine completely and utterly confused. "What the hell is this? 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider', Blaine?"
Blaine smiles proudly, even though Kurt's not sure he should be feeling clever.
"Sorry I'm late." Blaine says again, confidently, like this has been rehearsed.
Kurt will have none of his happiness. He's still miserable from Friday. Why is Blaine here? "Late for what?" He doesn't mean to, but his unenthusiastic tone makes Blaine's smile fade. He watches Blaine bite his lip and get nervous.
He steps closer to Kurt, holding the coffee cup closer to his chest. "Well, you see, there was this terrible storm that came through about eight months ago and washed me out of this random water spout I was hanging out in, but then the sun came out about three weeks ago in counting, and I slowly but surely climbed up the spout again to find this non-fat grande mocha in my hand, and I thought you might want it." He hands the coffee to Kurt who takes a minute to actually grasp it in his hand.
"...And since I bought you this coffee and am skipping first hour right now, I think it'd be really cool if you said yes to a date this Friday night instead of Robin's." He takes a pause to breathe, and in the moment, Kurt sees this boy. "...Kurt, will you let me take you out? Please?"
Kurt takes a moment to collect his thoughts. "...'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'? You didn't try to woo me with 'You Are My Sunshine' or anything ten times more romantic?"
Blaine's hesitation and nervousness leaves his body as he slouches, looking playfully hurt. "...But I did say you were the sun..."
Kurt shakes his head and shuts his locker, taking a sip of his new drink and staring at Blaine as he holds it up all the way to his lips. When he's done sipping, he smacks his lips. "...This isn't you trying to really get in my pants, is it?"
Blaine smirks and steps closer, Kurt making sure first that no football players are around to ruin the moment. "No, it is me trying to get into your pants, but uh, I don't know. Maybe before that, you'll feel comfortable listening to 'Come What May' with me, and then you can buy me ice cream."
"Blaine Anderson, why do I have the feeling that you spent all weekend thinking about this?"
Blaine laughs and starts walking Kurt to his first class. Kurt wishes right now that Blaine went to McKinley so they could do this every day. "Well, you're kind of ruining it..."
"Am I now?"
Blaine nods quickly. "Yes, you were supposed to say, 'Oh, Blaine! You finally realized how much you like me! Of course, Friday would be the most splendid day to dine with you!' And then I was going to hug you hard against the lockers until the jocks came and threw us both into the dumpsters, but at least we'd be in there together, and I wouldn't care." He smiles sweetly at him before his cheeks turn red and he has to look forward instead.
"...I never thought I would ever get asked out like this."
Blaine laughs and lets his hand touch over Kurt's quickly before another student notices. "You mean, in such a romantic way?"
Kurt's smile starts small, but then when he glances over at Blaine's grinning face, he can't help but grin, too. It was cheesy, it was lame, and it was rehearsed. It was Blaine.
He wonders for a moment if everything in the last month has been worth all the frustration and potential heart break. He thinks back to the first bonfire at Robin's, the first time he ever met Blaine. They were quick to kiss each other, quick to touch, but even then, Kurt knew he wanted Blaine to mean more. Sometimes, a guy like Blaine needs to be reminded of what's actually out there, how much fun a new relationship can be. Kurt hasn't the slightest idea of how to make a first date not awkward, and he can't even fathom what it will be like to finally be able to have a boy over for dinner that his dad can try to intimidate. It's all so new, so exciting.
"You mean, in such a romantic way?"
Kurt doesn't need to think about it this time. "Absolutely."
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
~*~
Thanks to everyone who read the first three parts! Sorry again about taking forever to update. <3
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 3,711/(16,176 total)
Summary: Kurt goes to a friend's bonfire in his senior year of high school. There, he meets a boy named Blaine, and it's the first time he ever gets to cuddle in bed with a boy, but that's all that happens. They seem to get a long really well, and without meaning to, Kurt has a nice and nerve wrecking idea forming: he thinks he might really like Blaine.
Warnings: slight future!fic AU, an OC, underage drinking, slight angst, concentrated fluff, sexual situations
Author's Notes: Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. I am SO sorry that I haven't updated this in a while. There were other stories to finish and such, but here you go now!
Part 1: Add Me On Facebook | Part 2: Flirtatious Texting 101 | Part 3: Let's Hang Out Soon
It's Friday night again, but Kurt's not sure this time if he should go to Robin's. Ice cream with Blaine last week was filled with mint chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles, but Blaine hadn't tried kissing him. Granted, he paid for the ice cream and even offered to buy Kurt's dad some to avoid an awkward sex conversation for him, but it seemed like now he was just trying to be friendly. Kurt doesn't have many friends, but a few is enough for him. He wants a new type of friend, someone that will publicly and privately say, "I feel something more for you. You're better than all the rest". Kurt and his low self-esteem don't expect the hot boy with a quirky charm and a great smile to want him. It'd just be really, really amazing if he did.
So, even though he's been thinking about tonight all week, and even though he's replayed every single thing Blaine's said to him about three times over, and even though he wants nothing more than to see him tonight, he's not going to go to Robin's. He's afraid that he's wanting all of Blaine all too quickly, and he's not sure if what his body wants and feels is what the rest of him wants.
His mind's trying to tell him that being friends with benefits would be enough, that as long as he got to kiss Blaine and be around him, then that'd be good enough. He'd have a dream come true.
You don't really want a relationship anyway, Kurt. That'd make you way too vulnerable, and you don't want to have to trust anyone with your feelings. It'd still be like you were in a relationship, and hey, you live in Lima... You won't find another great guy like this again for a long time.
But that's the deciding factor for Kurt. If Blaine is such a great guy, then he should want to date him.
Me, myself, and I aren't giving all of us up that easily. You'll have to really want to hold me before I let myself fall further for you.
Sometimes, Kurt hates that his cell phone tells him who's calling. Right now, it's preparing him to hear Blaine's voice directed towards him. Kurt doesn't even have a called ID picture set for him when he calls, but all Kurt needs to see is the name 'Blaine' blinking across the screen as it buzzes to have his heart pounding. He knows Blaine's just going to ask him if he's going to Robin's tonight. He thinks Blaine will expect them to get drunk and have sex.
His tone is confident when Kurt answers. "Hey! Do you know what you're doing tonight?"
Kurt wants to sigh. "Um, not really yet. My dad doesn't me spending the night at Robin's tonight, though."
"Oh, well, that's fine! That's not what you're doing, anyway."
"...Oh?"
"Yeah, I'm actually picking you up and you're coming over my house to watch a movie."
Kurt's heart is doing that thing it does when it dies. "Am I now?"
"Yup! I'm surprised you didn't know! Good thing I called..."
"Yeah, good thing... What movie?"
What Blaine says next makes Kurt's heart, well, you know... stop. "Whatever you want."
Whatever I want? That'd be you.
He tells Blaine that it's an unfair drive to pick him up just to take him back to Blaine's house. They'll meet at a video store in between their houses, and then drive separately back to Blaine's. In case I need to leave.
----
When they walk into the video store together, Kurt's walking closely behind Blaine who looks like he knows his way around it pretty well. They both know they don't like action or horror movies, but they walk down those aisles anyway, just so they can laugh and make fun of bad movie titles. Kurt likes being this close to Blaine, he likes thinking that the other people in the video store think they're probably going out. He likes that no one's giving them dirty looks, and he likes that he could almost picture himself doing this every Friday.
They settle on Moulin Rogue!, not because they haven't seen it (they both could probably belt every single song for you), but because they both have seen it. It's the equivalent of going to the movies with a new boyfriend or girlfriend to see a horror film. Unless you are really into the horror genre, the entire film is there just as background noise between your kisses and reason for holding hands. Kurt thinks he's okay with this until they get to Blaine's house.
Blaine's house is rather large compared to Kurt's. It's not the size of a mansion, but it's the size of a house Kurt expected a private school boy with an expensive guitar to live in. It's nice, well-decorated, and not surprisingly, it doesn't feel like a real home. Kurt doubts that Blaine has memories of playing tea party with his parents or neighborhood friends on the nice hardwood floor when he was seven. He doubts he's spilled grape juice on the expensive cushion chairs or on the perfectly white carpet in the living room. Blaine says his parents are strict, but luckily, he says they're not home tonight. Kurt's not sure if this is as good of an idea as Blaine makes it sound. He hopes even more that he doesn't expect anything from him. Like, oh, I don't know... My virginity?
They go to watch the film downstairs, and Kurt's starting to realize what a terrible idea it is to be watching a romantic musical that means a lot to him. He's not even sure how Blaine really feels about him, and he's honestly not sure if he can take watching the ending.
He pauses it before the song "Come What May" starts playing, afraid he'll get way too emotional in the middle of it. We're not even close to here yet. Why are we watching this? Why do I think that I... love you? I really don't know anything about you.
Blaine's arm has been pressed against his the entire film, and when Kurt pauses it, he turns his head to look at him with confusion. "Why'd you pause it?"
Kurt scoots down the couch to be able to look at him directly and to not be so close. "I really like that song," he says with heavy meaning attached to the end. Blaine wonders for a minute what he's really saying.
"Yeah, I do, too."
Kurt wants to scream and cry out his frustration. He'll stay calm for this, though. It's feels important that he does. "If you haven't noticed... I don't do this a lot."
"Don't do what?" Blaine folds his legs on the couch and turns with his back facing the arm rest to look at Kurt.
Kurt shrugs, looking down at the couch. "Sleep in the same bed as a boy that would be okay with me getting close; sing a song with him, and rake leaves and get ice cream with him. I don't have a friend like you, Blaine." He looks up at him when he says his name, a hesitant edge to his voice. He catches the nervous glance in Blaine's eyes, but it only makes him want to explain further.
"...I've never felt like this before. Maybe moments of it, but never really acknowledged that it could be anything real with someone real. It's strange, scary, and I don't like it, but I really, really do like it. ...Sorry."
He thinks Blaine's just going to stay quiet, but after Kurt apologizes for saying what he feels, Blaine puts his hand on his knee comfortingly. "Kurt, I like you, too, it's just..." He looks at the TV for safety, but has no choice but to look back at Kurt and talk to him. "It's just really hard for me to trust anyone again, right now, anyway. I mean, I trust you, you're really nice, but I don't know... I can't trust myself to--"
"Be vulnerable? Tell someone how you really feel and let yourself get hurt by that person? Yeah, I know the feeling."
Blaine just sighs and tells him he should spend the night, so they can talk more about it.
Kurt doesn't even need to think about it. "No."
"Why not?"
"Because when I'm near you, I don't think right."
"What do you mean 'not right'?"
Kurt crosses his arms to feel more protected. "I let my guard down around you after about an hour. I feel excited being vulnerable, and the worst part is that I don't even care if I get hurt, as long as you know how I feel. You just confuse the hell out of me, really. One minute you're kissing me and saying slightly dirty things, and then you're not smiling and telling me that your last boyfriend left you not trusting anyone. You've probably pulled this on other guys, but it's nice to hear it anyway that there's maybe someone out there that... I don't know." For a minute when Blaine doesn't say anything, he thinks he's just ruined any chance of ever being with him. He realizes that he'd rather be able to kiss and smile with Blaine than have to go back to feeling so alone. Hell, he'll sleep with him if it would make this silence less awkward, he'd even--
Kurt's thoughts are interrupted by Blaine crossing over the couch and grabbing his face in his hands. He waits a moment to make sure Kurt doesn't want to pull back, and then kisses him hard. They're kissing; it feels nice. However, it feels too forced. Kurt wants to pull back, but Blaine's such a good kisser that he knows he'd regret asking him to stop. He just wants to never let go. It would physically hurt me to be away from you.
After a few minutes, Blaine pulls back slightly, not before pecking Kurt's lips a few times and smiling as he sits back down on the couch. He gets up and goes over to a large basket filled with blankets by the TV. He brings a large one back and wraps it around both of them. He hugs him in it and then finally gets Kurt to rest on top of him. Kurt feels awkward, because Blaine's shorter than him and he feels like he'll squish him, but when Blaine repeatedly says that he's not going to hurt him, then he relaxes and lets his head rest on Blaine's chest.
The lights were already off during the movie, and so when Blaine turns the TV off because they're not watching anything, it feels like they're in a bed just with Kurt on top of him. Blaine puts a hand on his lower back and then his other hand reaches for Kurt's hair to gently thread his fingers through it. "You're beautiful," he whispers, even though he doesn't need to be quiet.
Kurt blushes and turns his head slightly to kiss Blaine's chest. He feels light when Blaine laughs softly and it shakes practically his whole body. As happy as he feels right now, he's still worried that he said too much. After tonight, what will happen to him if Blaine never calls or texts to hang out again?
He moans softly when he feels Blaine slowly grab his hips to start lightly pressing up into him. He knows what he wants, and his body wants to give it to him. Badly. Kurt sits up to straddle Blaine's waist, and as he does, Blaine sits up to grind into him at an easier angle. It feels too good, the friction causing both of their jeans to feel too tight for comfort. His parents aren't home. He has a bed upstairs. His parents aren't home. Maybe we could just fall in love after this.
Blaine puts a hand over Kurt's when he feels Kurt's hand drift to his zipper. For a moment, Kurt thinks that Blaine just wants to press his hand even harder over his growing erection, but then Blaine's hand is gently removing Kurt's off his body and he's leaning into his ear, pressing a kiss to the side of Kurt's cheek. "Wanna go upstairs?"
He should be able to take Kurt's raising heart rate as an answer, but he waits for a verbal reply. "Um, sure. Yes."
Blaine smiles and takes his hand as they walk up the stairs. I'm going to see his room. I wonder how much time he actually spends in it.
They lie down on the bed in the dark, and the first thing Blaine does is get on top of him. They continue what they were doing downstairs, but this time, Blaine takes both of their shirts off and grinds into Kurt hard and without rest. Kurt starts believing that he'd definitely be into rough sex if intense grinding is any indication, but he's a little too embarrassed to continue thinking about that right now. He softly gasps when he feels Blaine's hand slide down his torso and rub him hard through his jeans. Blaine keeps up his hand motion, but leans down to kiss him and smirk. "God, that little sound... You're incredible." Kurt whimpers when Blaine starts kissing down his neck, keeping up the friction in his jeans. "Kurt, god, please. Let me touch you..."
If there were two definite sides to Kurt's mind, they'd be labeled as such: teenage boy and cock-blocker of the century. Something won't leave his mind. It's what Blaine said about his ex-boyfriend. "He cheated on me, more than once...All we were was sex. I thought it was more, but apparently not."
Blaine does like him, Kurt believes that much. Maybe, he wants to have sex with him and be good friends, but if he can't date him or even be open to the idea, then this isn't going to work. There's a reason Blaine's so confused on his feelings, and well, guess what? Kurt Hummel is like Kelly Clarkson. He does "not hook up, up... [he goes] slow". Exactly, Kelly.
Kurt taps Blaine's shoulder, getting his attention as politely and non-verbally as possible before he thinks of what to say next. Blaine slowly takes his hand off Kurt and looks at him curiously. "Hm?"
Don't regret it, whatever you say. "...I'm not sex."
Blaine stares at him hard, but replies too quickly for Kurt's liking. "I know."
"I can't spend the night, I'm sorry. I can't do this, I actually like you, and I'm not going to be your rebound or experiment. I don't want to eventually hate you or disrespect you, so, I'm just going home. Okay?" He gets off the bed and puts his shirt back on. "I'm sorry I'm such a cock-block, sort of, but I can't do this."
Blaine follows him down the stairs shirtless, stopping by the door where Kurt's quickly getting his shoes on. "Kurt, I didn't mean anything bad by it. I told you I'm not taking advantage of you."
Kurt looks at him as he's opening the door. "Yeah, that's what I want to believe, too."
He leaves and doesn't turn back. He said what he wanted to say, he doesn't regret being that harsh about it, but... Why does it feel like a mistake anyway?
~*~
Kurt luckily has full day shifts at the candle store the rest of the weekend, but he still dreads Monday when it comes. Not that Blaine would be at McKinley, but just seeing any dark brown, curly haired kid is going to remind him of that smile.
He's by his locker when Finn and Robin suddenly walk up next to him with interesting looks on their faces. Scratch interesting--weird, smiling faces. Wait... Robin and Finn? Standing here? Together? Knowing what each other even look like? What?
"Hi, guys...?"
Robin smiles and pats Finn's back hard to make him talk. "Ow! Yeah, uh, hey, Kurt... What's up?" They're standing so close together that Kurt can't even see what's behind them because Finn's so tall.
"...How do you two know each other? I've never had you meet on purpose."
Robin rolls her eyes and sighs. "We've been instructed to stall you from leaving your locker."
"What?"
Robin and Finn both turn to their sides when a third figure steps into the circle. It's Blaine. With coffee. And a piece of paper. "Hi, Kurt."
Kurt forgets that Robin and Finn are standing there, but that doesn't seem to be much of a problem, because as soon as Blaine steps closer, they're both walking away towards their first hour class (not before Robin giggles and hugs Finn tightly. Kurt swears that he hears the word "bridesmaid").
"What are you doing here, Blaine?" He can't believe he's here, at McKinley. He just said his name out loud to him in the hallway and no one is even paying attention to them. It's already an amazing moment.
Blaine's just smiling at him with a look on his face that makes Kurt's stomach feel tight and fluttery. He's not sure what's about to happen.
"You look really nice today..."
Kurt ignores the compliment. "...What's with the paper?"
Blaine bites his lip and sticks the small piece of paper out to him. "It's my favorite lullaby. ...I usually sing my feelings, but this described them better than I can right now." Kurt takes the note from him and reads:
The itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again
Kurt folds the paper gently in his hand, and then looks at Blaine completely and utterly confused. "What the hell is this? 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider', Blaine?"
Blaine smiles proudly, even though Kurt's not sure he should be feeling clever.
"Sorry I'm late." Blaine says again, confidently, like this has been rehearsed.
Kurt will have none of his happiness. He's still miserable from Friday. Why is Blaine here? "Late for what?" He doesn't mean to, but his unenthusiastic tone makes Blaine's smile fade. He watches Blaine bite his lip and get nervous.
He steps closer to Kurt, holding the coffee cup closer to his chest. "Well, you see, there was this terrible storm that came through about eight months ago and washed me out of this random water spout I was hanging out in, but then the sun came out about three weeks ago in counting, and I slowly but surely climbed up the spout again to find this non-fat grande mocha in my hand, and I thought you might want it." He hands the coffee to Kurt who takes a minute to actually grasp it in his hand.
"...And since I bought you this coffee and am skipping first hour right now, I think it'd be really cool if you said yes to a date this Friday night instead of Robin's." He takes a pause to breathe, and in the moment, Kurt sees this boy. "...Kurt, will you let me take you out? Please?"
Kurt takes a moment to collect his thoughts. "...'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'? You didn't try to woo me with 'You Are My Sunshine' or anything ten times more romantic?"
Blaine's hesitation and nervousness leaves his body as he slouches, looking playfully hurt. "...But I did say you were the sun..."
Kurt shakes his head and shuts his locker, taking a sip of his new drink and staring at Blaine as he holds it up all the way to his lips. When he's done sipping, he smacks his lips. "...This isn't you trying to really get in my pants, is it?"
Blaine smirks and steps closer, Kurt making sure first that no football players are around to ruin the moment. "No, it is me trying to get into your pants, but uh, I don't know. Maybe before that, you'll feel comfortable listening to 'Come What May' with me, and then you can buy me ice cream."
"Blaine Anderson, why do I have the feeling that you spent all weekend thinking about this?"
Blaine laughs and starts walking Kurt to his first class. Kurt wishes right now that Blaine went to McKinley so they could do this every day. "Well, you're kind of ruining it..."
"Am I now?"
Blaine nods quickly. "Yes, you were supposed to say, 'Oh, Blaine! You finally realized how much you like me! Of course, Friday would be the most splendid day to dine with you!' And then I was going to hug you hard against the lockers until the jocks came and threw us both into the dumpsters, but at least we'd be in there together, and I wouldn't care." He smiles sweetly at him before his cheeks turn red and he has to look forward instead.
"...I never thought I would ever get asked out like this."
Blaine laughs and lets his hand touch over Kurt's quickly before another student notices. "You mean, in such a romantic way?"
Kurt's smile starts small, but then when he glances over at Blaine's grinning face, he can't help but grin, too. It was cheesy, it was lame, and it was rehearsed. It was Blaine.
He wonders for a moment if everything in the last month has been worth all the frustration and potential heart break. He thinks back to the first bonfire at Robin's, the first time he ever met Blaine. They were quick to kiss each other, quick to touch, but even then, Kurt knew he wanted Blaine to mean more. Sometimes, a guy like Blaine needs to be reminded of what's actually out there, how much fun a new relationship can be. Kurt hasn't the slightest idea of how to make a first date not awkward, and he can't even fathom what it will be like to finally be able to have a boy over for dinner that his dad can try to intimidate. It's all so new, so exciting.
"You mean, in such a romantic way?"
Kurt doesn't need to think about it this time. "Absolutely."
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
~*~
Thanks to everyone who read the first three parts! Sorry again about taking forever to update. <3