Entry #37 : Crazy dawg
Entry #37 : Crazy dawg
Featuring : Sungmin, Zhou Mi, SHINee's Taemin and a very puzzling young man. XD
Henry Lau’s special comeback entry…
…START!
Nineteen-years-old and for the first time ever, I was going to jump off a 233 metre platform.
Okay maybe not. I wasn’t really going to do that.
Hell, I wouldn’t even jump off a 5 metre diving board in some kiddie swimming pool hall even if you freakin’ paid me to - because heights and me, we’re not really chums, if you know what I mean.
Well, okay, I might do it if you paid me a handsome amount of money, upfront by the way - alongside a 2010 Lotus Evora and a bajillionaire penthouse somewhere in Miami or something.
And yeah, okay, I’d really do it for charity. I’d put my utmost trust in Velcro and colourful karabiner security before bungee jumping for the sake of the unprivileged - in order to raise awareness, money and mad, one love because I really am a nice guy like my celebrated leader Han Geng is!
But uhm…Hey, you know what?
I’m just being the usual long-winded analogist I am right now - and I’m rather annoying like that I know.
Anyway.
What you guys really need to know is I really am a sworn madman in real life, I swear - if you’re thinking, like, basically inhygienic / dogmatic/ irresponsible / uncivilized / tainted / unethical and according to Brent, gay since I was two years of age…
You name it - I really am that exemplary person for each.
I just don’t look like it, because who the hell looks like any of the above when one’s a rising idol?
It’s like getting someone going, ‘You look like the kind of person who likes to eat squid balls!’
Exactly.
Just how the Hell can you tell a person who likes to eat squid balls anyway?
Go, like, ‘Hey! You look like a squid ball’?
*Leeteuk laugh*
But please, don’t blame my parents for raising one sod of a son because they really are the best parents in the world - it’s just that adolescence kind of shattered my innocence like a goddamn pebble to a mirror.
Then SM happened and at some point of time my first love tumbled along with it…
Canada's Henry Lau pretty much became the unstoppable WTFH of the universe after that, no?
Oh, lo and behold…the power of my cheeks!
So yeah, anyway, sex.
For first timers and all that…It’s pretty much the biggest deal in the world, I know. It’s like a gojira leap of a transition from innocence to not so innocent anymore, or like, the next huge thing after…Oh, I don’t know…Dong Bang Shin Ki and their fan club or something…
…Don’t laugh!
I’m rambling, Christ.
So anyway!
Personally, I think sex is…very, very, very similar to jumping off a goddamn plane a triquantumbagajibillion miles above sea level - if not a 233 metre platform off the goddamned ground in a variety game show!
Are you feelin’ my strings with that?
Okay. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure Lee Sungmin did.
Well, almost.
“Bed, Sungminnie - now.”
Christ. Something totally possessed me that night.
The path from the bathroom to my bed was littered with rose petals Sungmin had scattered all over for the holier-than-thou intention of creating something sexy and romantic - and of course, to blind himself from the reality that my room is actually a goddamn war zone.
I didn’t think the bajillion burning scented candles around us were doing a decent job at calming me down at all, mainly because my hands were too occupied excitedly touching Sungmin everywhere - it was as if I was ripping his clothes apart, even when I damned well knew he wasn’t wearing any.
“Sungminnie…”
My mouth, Jesus - I couldn’t control the way it was moving against his own. I mean, I was actually trying to breathe decently through the brief breaks between the reckless connections of our mouths, but it just got harder and harder to not want to kiss him at every damn millisecond passing.
"You know I can foresee that you're going to get really sexually frustrated soon."
Meet my best friend since the Crayola Renaissance, Brent Kingston.
Has he ever been wrong about things?
Goddamn Nostradamus - that’s who the bastard really is, I swear. You should meet him. He can
tell your future just by looking at the shirt you’re wearing for the day, no kidding. He kills you like that.
Anyway.
Around my neck, I felt Sungmin’s arms tightening to pull me into him, as if wrapping a leg across my back wasn’t enough to force me into the curves of his body already. Against my face, he was starting to pant louder when I selfishly stole more of his air, sucking harder on his swollen lips to pull him back into another round of intense kissing whenever he broke it.
“Hen…li…”
Oh my God, oh my God.
I can’t freakin’ control myself anymore.
“It’s Henry, Sungminnie,” I whispered, roughly biting a path to his shoulder, lapping thirstily on his sweet skin.
And the way it was making me feel right then - the thrilling sensation that was murdering my rationale in thinking that I was going to make love to another guy for my first time - I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan not even Zhou Mi suddenly barging into my room right there and then asking where I hid the usual rice crackers we have readily stocked in our dorm could stop me.
Okay, maybe I would sock him for interrupting…
“My name is Henry…”
And when you start to feel me move inside of you…
“…I want you to say it over and over again, Sungmin…Please…”
Goddamn dinosaurs roamed the Earth and became extinct before we finally met the edge of my bed in a clumsy trip, sending the both of us crashing into it, neither of us caring about the annoying flower pieces sticking all over our wet skins, getting into our hair and faces.
Fisting my hands into the short crop of his hair, I rolled over to sink him into the plush of my pillows - before pulling away to allow the heat of his mouth to travel down my slackening jaw, my neck, my shoulders...hearing the pleased moan spilling out of his throat when the slow grinding of my hips into his began to powerfully arouse me…
“Hen…ry…” he hissed softly when I boldly brought his other leg up to my waist, crossing it over the other - at the same time urging him to just freakin’ spread for me already.
“Henry…”
Again.
“Henry…”
Jesus, again please.
…And that was when he suddenly went, “Stop.”
Make a wild guess what I did next.
I was so hot and so turned on and was so ready to go to the next chapter of the Kama Sutra in my head - but I freakin’ stopped when his meek request damned well caused a goddamn traffic jam to the rush of my adrenaline pumping me out control.
AIYA!
“What…” I panted, pushing myself up with my arms to look at him. “What is it, Sungminnie?”
“This…This…Now…” He whispered; the red of his face turning crimson at every word he was gasping out.
And then, while staring deeply into my eyes, he jolly well asked, “Are…Are you sure?”
Pushing my dripping hair off my face, I blinked - Hell, I was that close to reaching that part in the sex manual which told me what I should do with my fingers - at the jingle of his panic seemingly rising out of the blue right then.
“I mean…” He continued nervously, seemingly shrinking into the duvet beneath us. “Do you know how to…”
Pfft.
I know the Kama Sutra at the back of my hand, please. I just don’t look like I do, I know. Let’s not go into that all over again though or it’ll never end.
“Yes!” I said, nodding in my blinding confidence to what he was talking about right then.
“I know how to do this…You just need to trust me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Boy, I really was determined to be Captain Canada in bed, no kidding. I really was becoming one
serious of a madman about it right then and I wasn’t having any second thoughts at all.
Like, who thinks during sex anyway?
But at that, Sungmin’s legs instantly loosened its strong lock around my waist.
Okay. Definitely not feeling my strings right then - and at a goddamn lousy timing too!
His question then came as a meek “But you’ve never…Have you?”
“Well no…” I tilted my head at him, raising an eyebrow at his action. “…Have you?”
“No…”
“Then…Let’s just…HWAITING!”
Sungmin looked like he just saw a freakin’ alien walk past his nose waving a Super Junior banner.
I know, Christ.
What in the bloody blue Hell was that, Henry!?
Perhaps my Mouth Bodyguard read the wrong script given by my Conscience Auditor for this matter?
AIYA!
“Hwaiting?!” He squeaked in shock, slapping sense back into my stupid, stupid, stupid head.
Crap. I think I might have just stuck my Kangin’s thoughtful chopsticks into his spleen and freakin’ killed him.
Yeah, they’re still around, those chopsticks. I don’t think Kangin will ever forgive me if I lose them.
Anyway.
“I’m going to let you enter me like that and that’s what you’re going to do?!”
AIYAAIYAIYAA!!!!!!!!!!
“You’re making me uncomfortable,” Sungmin stated, and he started to push me off him to sit up.
He didn’t have to exert so much force to send me sprawling onto my back, really. I think I jolly well made up my mind to sign my soul up to a fitness instructor just so I could push and toss him in beds right then.
I frowned; angrier rather than confused at his abrupt decision to just leave me in that kind of situation (you know...with that issue) - and in my own bed, too!
Like, how goddamn heartless could he get, Christ?
“Hey!” I sang apologetically, watching him get up and admiring his curves that I was close to possessing before I reached over to take the other hand that was not dusting the petals off his nude body.
“I love you,” I said, starting to pull him back to me. “I love you and I want you, Sungminnie…”
Did I stress that enough?
“Yah…” Sungmin smiled at my pleading, giving my hand a tiny, assuring squeeze.
With that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ kind of nonsense. Boy, was I getting really mad, I swear.
“I love you too, and I really want to be with you like this! I really do, believe me.”
My ass he did.
“But…I think you just don’t know what you’re doing?”
Oh, says the jolly first timer right then. Enlighten me, seriously. I kind of felt offended here.
And he continued the untimely lecture with, “You’re really unprepared for this. You just read the Kama Sutra and you think you know how to do everything - but you just don’t!”
Wei, wei, wei!
I’ve finally ironed out this little issue after bazilligajillion times of contemplation to put together my emotions and testosterones into a goddamn overdrive - so he could just murder me?
What kind of a freakin’ punishment is this?!
“What do you mean by that? I’m not a child anymore and I’m willing to do this with you, you know.”
“Well…I’m not!” Sungmin argued. He killed me, Christ. “We...We're moving too fast for this."
What the Hell?
What kind of freakin’ excuse is that?
"But we've been together for months - and we’ve done…things!" I blinked, my voice rising a little.
Surely he wants to progress ahead ¬and out of technical physicality! How long can you stand just being a technical virgin?
"But I don't feel good at the moment," Sungmin resorted to answering, his voice glazed with icing sugar.
I know he was just trying to sedate me.
"I’m so sorry but…not tonight, please.”
Damn.
“Wait!” My hand shot out again - because he was really leaving the goddamn bed, Jesus Christ.
“Okay, okay fine!” I sighed, almost purring to psycho him back into the mood or something.
“Tell me what I’ve to do then, because I can’t take this anymore - I want you now, and I’ll do anything.”
The horny desperado I turned into, Christ - and to think I used to be such an altar boy.
But it worked. Sungmin’s pretty eyes sparked a little at that, boy they really did.
The tiny, tiny, tiny smile on his face then came with an interested-sounding, “Anything?”
I nodded - although I was getting even more heebie-jeebies with the way he was suddenly excited.
But I didn’t really bother to bother about that any more when the fingers skimmed up my naked thighs, like iron branding into my skin when Sungmin crawled back on top of me, slowly kissing a route up to my neck with the kind of giggles that told me he just snagged a really good bargain here.
So…service over to Henry Lau of Canada!
YESSUH!!!
“Hen…ry,” he whispered against the heat of my cheeks…His lips leaving burn marks along my jaw line…
“What I really, really, really want…”
…The nibble of his teeth into the throbbing nerves around my throat forcing a weakened moan out of me.
“…is a pet.”
Ah…
A pet, huh?
Wait a minute.
“Come on, hurry and get up already…”
A WHUT?!
I didn’t even manage to sputter my surprise when Sungmin started shaking me by my shoulders.
“Let’s go to the aquarium right now, Ah Hen ah - before Seunghwan-sshi wakes up and finds out we’re gone!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
It’s not like Zhou Mi doesn’t respect people’s privacy or anything.
It’s more like he doesn’t the heck know how to respect mine, that’s all.
“And guess what? You buy one for half its normal price - and you get the other for free!”
Two seconds after I woke up on a damp Thursday, I declared war with Super Junior M’s resident Care Bear.
Just so you know, all of the above did happen the last time I was with Sungmin like that - only that we stopped because he really bloody thought I wasn't properly prepared for it.
‘LET’S JUST…HWAITING!’
Me and my goddamn mouth.
And according to him, I wasn't properly equipped for it when we stayed in the same hotel room for the SM Town concert in China too - next to the fact that time was too evil to be on our side.
So I'm wondering...Do I really have to put on some goddamn fencing attire or something to get him?!
Aish!
I don't wanna talk about it.
ANYWAY!
So I shot up from the plush oh my pillows and yelped an irritated, “You!”
“Hello and goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood moooooooooooooor-”
Boy, I gave him the mightiest of scowl I could manage without my cheeks dropping off my face.
“I…I don’t want to talk to you for the next thirty minutes!”
“-niiiiiiiiiing…Eh?!”
“You want a PET?!”
“Uh…yes. I’ve decided to curb some loneliness and I’m thinking of buying a-”
“Jesus. Go away!”
“What the Hell?”
“Don’t talk to me…I’m going back to sleep! BYE!” I muttered, with my crazy hair sticking all over the place as I gave him an angry shove before going back to cocooning myself under the covers.
Yes, I’m actually one of those people who believe that I can actually continue dreaming if I go back to sleep ASAP after being rudely awakened by an invincible force of positivism personified.
Zhou Mi gave me that innocent kind of look to tell me that he really didn’t think he did anything wrong by waking me up and telling me that he wanted to go buy goddamn fighting fishes.
At 7 AM in the morning.
Tell me this: Which godforsaken aquarium in this god-blessed solar system opens at that hour, huh?
Huh, huh…HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
“Why must it be thirty minutes anyway?” he continued, not moving from the space next to mine.
Then he jolly well ripped the covers off me.
If you must know, Super Junior M’s resident sunshine Zhou Mi is not a pushover.
He’s just persistent as Hell sometimes.
“Get up, Ah Hen ah…We don’t have time. After we buy the fishes, you can go back to sleep!”
First it’s dandy well walking into my room and jumping into my bed and murdering me with his sudden desire to do some freakin’ marine animal shopping nonsense…
…And now the return of the un-idol-like nickname of ‘Ah Hen’?
Oh, you have no freakin’ idea how I felt like pushing him and his big, big eyes off the face of the goddamn universe right then.
“Why can’t you bother Shiwon hyung for this?!” I snapped, brushing his hand off the fabric and stubbornly throwing it over myself again.
Now where was I…?
Zhou Mi snickered a little - probably at the fact that I was actually squeezing my eyes really tight to go back to sleep - before going, “Are you dreaming or what? There’s only you and me here! The rest are still in Korea.”
“Jongjun-sshi?”
“Korea too.”
“We’re stuck with the Aslan?”
“Yeah. Hey, I think he knows that we’re calling him that already, you know. He saw Kingdom of Narnia a few days ago! Maybe you should give him another code name or something…”
“So do we have a schedule today? I want to go back to sleep!”
“Why are you so Hell bent on going back to sleep when it’s a wonderful day outside?”
Every day is a wonderful morning to him by the way - and he doesn’t really care if you don’t feel his strings.
Yeah, I guess it’s a very good thing to have that kind of atmosphere within the group all the time.
But yeah, he could have picked a much, much, much better time to goddamn poke me with it or something.
“Because I was in the middle of a wonderful dream with Sungmin and you just destroyed it!”
“You and your obsession with Cheng Min…Come on! Get up, get out - and let’s go buy a Dong Hai!”
Let’s go buy a Dong Hai, he says.
He was talking about the fishes.
I notice that I tend to lose to cute things quickly nowadays. Sungmin, Taemin…Donghae…Zhou Mi…
Aiya…
“How are we going to get there? Our driver won’t be back till much later, right?”
“We can always call a cab - we’ll be back before anyone knows it,” Zhou Mi’s smile broadened.
“Hurry, will you? There are no fans outside! If we pull this off too late, we can’t even go out to the balcony!”
“Fine, fine!”
Now the good thing about the resident Aslan is that he doesn’t sleep like a freakin’ log or anything.
He practically dies for a certain number of hours - so it wasn’t that much of a challenge or risk for us to sneak out of the house to get to the shop Zhou Mi was directing the cab driver with.
“Ah!” Zhou Mi went; slapping my thigh like it was something that was created to be slapped all the time.
“It’s your birthday in a few days, right?”
My ability to space out for quite some time can really amaze anyone if they’d known about it.
So I (genuinely and) stupidly went, “It is?”
“It isn’t? It’s on the eleventh, right? I recorded it in my organizer, I think.”
“What date is it today?”
“October the…uh…” Zhou Mi fished out his Nokia. “Eighth.”
“Oh. What day is it today?”
“Har! You’re kidding me.”
“You can’t remember too?”
“It’s…Tues…No, Wednesday! And in case you’re gonna ask, your birthday is going to be on Saturday.”
Actually, I know that already.
I just felt like being an annoying dork, because anytime before ten o clock in the morning, I’m either not within the Earth’s orbit or I’m an overly ambitious funny madman.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
What?
Hey, the days as an idol just melts into another - we’re constantly ninja-ing ungodly time, space and continuum in designer clothes that cost more than the house bills I get back home in Canada.
So anyway, I was thinking…I shouldn’t trouble my own group member about any presents or anything.
I mean, we’re like brothers and all that but this was my first time celebrating my birthday with him and the group and all that…It wouldn’t be really nice to be so upfront about it, know what I’m saying?
Hmmm.
“Mimi?”
“Yes?”
Nah!
“Are you going to give me any presents for my birthday?” I grinned, putting my chin on his shoulder and shamelessly fluttering my eyes at him.
Zhou Mi looked at me like I was this super annoying bug that he wanted to smack to death or something.
“Of course I am,” he replied, apparently appalled that I even dared to ask him that.
“It’s your first birthday away from home! And come to think of it, we won’t have anything on Saturday…Since the rest are not going to be back here until later next week…”
“Oh…” I replied, my tone dropping a little at the sound of that. “…Where are they going to?”
“You don’t pay attention to the schedule much, do you?”
“We’re not part of their schedule, are we?”
Okay, fine.
Maybe I was looking forward to bothering everyone to celebrate my birthday with me or something - since I’m the youngest of the group and I’m pretty much spoilt to the core by the members, especially by my bullet proof monk with the unlimited supply of popcorn Ryeowook…
Since I’m always getting babied and all that, I wanted a huge cake with lots and lots of strawberries!
I wanted party poppers. I wanted cool gifts and shiny wishes and balloons and…and…Ronald McDonalds!
Okay, no. Clowns don’t rock my boat much ever since I saw Stephen King’s ‘It’…
Anyway, most of all, I want my Lee Sungmin to celebrate it with me!
And I wanted him as my birthday present - and this time, I wasn’t going to allow him to say no!
I’ll tie him down to my bed with my goddamn Guess sweaters if I have to!
I know. I like the mental image very, very much too. Designer bondage…
Please ignore that.
And okay, maybe I was just being an overly-dramatic drama king about everything.
Oh well.
At least Zhou Mi was around - and he’s always around when you want or need someone to be.
Zhou Mi’s sarcasm thawed at the drop of my tone when he continued to tell me about the Japan trip, and that our leader Han Geng would be busy with filming his new drama and all that.
“Oh okay then,” I nodded, unable to hide my sulk - before getting a mighty, hard slap on my chest.
Took my goddamn heart out, he almost did. “Ow! Hey that hurts!”
“Don’t be sad! I’m sure the fans are going to buy you tonnes and tonnes of mochi and make you happy!”
I laughed at that, wondering if that was going to be true since my current public image is FOOD > everything else.
I love to eat and I’m never gonna stop…Life couldn’t get better…Hey!
There’s no turning back from that, I can bet you ¬shi-freakin’-yuan for this.
“So!” Zhou Mi grinned, poking at my cheek. Goddamn poker, he really is. He can really poke you to death.
“What do you want for your birthday?”
Oh, nothing much. Maybe…A brand new DS Lite?
“Anything,” I shrugged, as if I was really going patronize him for such gadget. Maybe next year I will?
“What ‘anything’?” Zhou Mi’s smile died a little bit. “Tell me what you want!”
DS. DS. DS. Just say it Henry.
DEE ES LAAAAAIT!!!!!
“I don’t know!” I ended up blurting. “Why don’t you just surprise me with something?”
“And you might end up not liking it?”
I figured that I could always poke my family members with what I really want for my Big Nineteen anyway.
“I’ll like anything you give me.”
“Sure?”
“Yup!”
We stopped in front of a huge, sky blue building with bright, colourful fishes painted against it - and I had to check my watch if not my blinking eyes to see if I woke up on the Twilight Zone side of the bed or something.
Well I’ll be damned. The shop was actually open for business already!
A 24-hour aquarium - only in China, huh?
“I think I’ll get you an early birthday gift, Henli ah,” Zhou Mi was saying as we walked up the stairs to the double doors that had various promotional flyers stuck everywhere.
“Really?”
“Why not? Since we’re here already, I might as well!”
Err…?!
“Over here, they’ve got one of the biggest and most beautiful collections of fishes in the world…”
YAH!
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“…So why don’t you go ahead and look around and pick any Dong Hai that you like, Henli!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
“Hyung…Did you know Han Geng hyung ran a total of sixty three footsteps when he was the Olympics torch bearer?”
“You counted?”
“Heechul hyung miscalculated. He said it was sixty four.”
“You counted?”
“I’m really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bored at the moment!”
SHINee’s Lee Taemin, he managed to put his video call lessons to use and called me the other day.
He figured that calling me this way would be Hell lot cheaper than making international calls on his cell - and he’s lucky I’m pretty much the kind of guy who likes to bring my entire desktop plug-ins everywhere I go.
Yeah. I may not look like it, but there’s a tech geek hidden somewhere deep inside this Beethoven blood of mine.
Anyway.
“Hyung!” His gojira-huge banana smile seemed to have blown up on the screen of my Viao, over MSN.
If you must know, after hanging out with Taemin a couple of times, I came to understand that he can be the cutest living specimen in the face of the universe - in that Pikachu kind of sense - but he can be ungodly blunt when saying certain things but he’d be courteous as Hell to go about it.
And you couldn’t get angry/annoyed/offended at him at all, simply because it’s Lee Taemin.
So he said, “…Are you sure you’re on a diet? Your cheeks kind of look bigger than the last time I saw you…”
Perhaps he was bored out of his mind, yes.
So Lee Taemin, he learnt how to navigate a certain forum on the net after almost suffering from a goddamn migraine signing up for them - and eventually, subscribed to a Super Junior M thread.
And SHINee’s of course. I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he subscribed to his own solo thread if there’s one.
Maybe he subscribed to mine too - if there’s ever a solo one out there.
*Leeteuk laugh*
The amazing thing here is he couldn’t understand much English and Chinese, but he is the smartest boy in the face of the universe - so he used Bablefish to ninja the registration, and basically everything else.
Lee Taemin just went through Hell just to see the images, videos…anything fan-taken.
“The Chinese ELFs are really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally QUICK with updates! Faster than a bullet train!”
Seriously, now.
Whose son is this?
“Yah!” I frowned at such a ridiculous comment. “Are you saying I’m growing fatter?”
“No, no! I don’t mean it like that,” He shook his head at his webcam, his eyes rounding when I narrowed my eyes at him through mine.
“But uh…I thought you’re supposed to listen to Seunghwan-sunbaenim and cut down on sweets…”
“So you’re saying I’m growing fat!”
“No!”
“I’m hurt.”
“Maybe it’s just the way your hair is styled. It makes you look chubby. But just a little! You still look good!”
See what I mean?
“I like to eat a lot okay? Leave me alone already,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at him.
“Sorry!” Taemin really looked like he just killed Hamtaro with his bare hands. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“Yah! I am!”
“Eeek!”
“Kidding!” I stuck my tongue out at him, snickering like I just pulled the funniest stunt in the world.
“Phew!” He sighed out, blowing the bangs off his eyes in relief.
“Oh, and by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE, HYUNG! When will you be back in Korea? I already bought you a present! I’ll give it to you when you’re here.”
“Wow, okay. I’m not sure when though, but I go back to Korea once in a while anyway, don’t I?”
“I have to bring you to this Indian restaurant the manager brought us to the other day. The food there is great and unique. But Hyung don’t really like spicy food, do you?”
“Uhm…sorry, not much.”
Taemin’s huge banana smile died for a second.
“Oh. Well…”
Oh-oh. I think I just killed a cute little Hamtaro with my bloody hands, too!
AIYA!
I was thinking of what to say to bring his mood back when his smile suddenly returned, startling me a little.
“But it’s okay, hyung ah!”
“Eh?” I blinked at the fact that his grin just stretched 3 times wider than it did earlier.
“They do serve non-spicy dishes as well so there won’t be any problem at all. So we’ll go, okay!”
Seriously…WHOSE SON IS THIS?!?!?
“Anyway, I’m not going to disturb you anymore. You have UFO posts to reply to, right?”
“Oh no, it’s fine!” I said, wondering if there was something I did that made him think that he was bothering me.
“We can still talk. I’m just looking through the posts but Zhou Mi’s going to help me with the replies later.”
“You must be able to read more Chinese by now, right Hyung?”
“But I’m not confident in typing the characters. I don’t want to reply and end up cursing fans or anything!”
You know how a koala bear looks like with its head slightly tilted to one side, mouth chewing thoughtfully on a eucalyptus leaf and innocently looking at you with glassy, round and big, big black eyes?
“Uhm…”
If there are such things as werewolves, then SHINee’s Lee Taemin is a werekoala or something, I swear.
“Is that the only issue that’s preventing you from replying to the posts? Typing characters?”
“Yes, pretty much.”
“If that’s the case…then why don’t you just reply everyone in Pinyin, Hyung? It’s easier for you, right?”
YAH!
How come that never crossed my goddamn mind?!
AIYA!
“Taeminnie ah!” I suddenly sang out, gripping the sides of the LCD like I was grabbing the sides of his head.
“YOU’RE SO ADORABLE, DO YOU KNOW THAT?”
I saw him jumping in his seat a little when I almost kissed him through the monitor.
“Thank you! I’m going to try and reply to some posts now. But hey…what’s that next to you?”
His innocent werekoala eyes tried to tell me that I didn’t see anything, but of course Taemin failed miserably when I recognized what I was looking via my webcam.
“Taeminnie ah, is that…your History book?”
“YES, actually!” He suddenly groaned, before angrily brandishing a printed paper at me.
“Even when we have a million shows to do in a day…our tutor still gave us this, hyung ah!”
“You have homework!”
“Idols are not supposed to have homework!”
“You mean you have homework all the while chatting with me?!”
“Don’t remind meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”
Whose son is this?! He’s so cute, oh my God.
“What homework?”
“Essay! And it is due tomorrow evening, too. Heh. And I haven’t started anything at all!”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier? You shouldn’t be talking to me right now! Taeminnie ah…you!”
“IT’S OKAY! I just can’t be bothered to do it right now - Key hyung’s going to nag at me soon.”
“What’s the assignment?”
“Write a paper on a national leader.”
I gave him the kind of look a teacher would give to a student who was giving the excuse that a dog ate his homework - not humoured at all, I really wasn’t. I wasn’t exactly valedictorian material but I sure as Hell wouldn’t pull such a stunt when I was in school.
So I decided to press him with, “And…what’s the first step to getting started to that?”
Taemin’s banana smile returned to his face.
“Uhm…Admitting I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge problem?”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
“GOOD NIGHT, MOJJIBONBON! I LOVE YOU!”
Lee Sungmin’s final text message for the night ended with a generous amount of heart emoticons that could just bloody well cause a permanent data jam in my Samsung.
And yes, Mojjibonbon is me.
Ask Sungmin where in the gayest of green fields in this solar system he got the smashing idea from.
No, seriously. Go ahead.
Actually, he wouldn’t know either - but I’m looking at mochi, and I don’t know…bon bons or something he ate recently that must have stir-fried a major part of his super creative mind.
Not that I would want to be caught dead in public with it, but after a while I figured it sounded original anyway - and boy, if it goes out, it’s going to go right up there one day, in a Hall of Shame.
Like, hey, world!
Proudly presenting the New Age Mozart-Beethoven-Leonardo da Vinci-Vivaldi…
…Henry Mojjibonbons Lau!
Oh so gorgeous!
It was a quarter past three in the morning when I finally felt like sleeping.
Watching a pair of fishes with anger management issues go at each other in mayonnaise jars eventually bore me - and the level of silence in the mansion here in Beijing wasn’t helping at all since there was no one at home.
Zhou Mi and his tendency to sleep in the studio a few blocks up, and our Han Geng just called to tell me that he cooked something earlier in the day, and I could just defrost it if I felt like pigging out.
Even the Aslan was away…
…THIS REALLY SUCKS MOTH BALLS!
The last straw was when I actually couldn’t find anything interesting to eat in the fridge, so I gave up and eventually stuck my toothbrush into my mouth to prepare for bed.
And then my cell phone went off.
UNLISTED.
At the rate my boredom was shooting up, I would have gladly started a conversation with a stalker even.
“Yo.”
Silence.
“Hello? Yobusaeyo? Moshi moshi? Wei?”
What? I am supposedly multi-lingual, aren’t I?
Silence.
“Bye?”
A deep, deep chuckle debuted just as I was about to pull the phone away from my ear.
“You don’t like scary movies, so I can’t ask you ‘what’s your favourite scary movie Henry Lau’. You suck!”
Recognizing the voice, I rolled my eyes at the tiles of my bathroom.
“TK!”
“Boo!”
“Christ. It’s 3 AM in the morning. Tell me you’ve got something good to talk about, or I’m crashing.”
“Something good to talk about?”
He snorted from the other line, and I could see his crazy hair bouncing to the jolly shake of his shoulders as he continued to chuckle in my mind.
Then he sang, “How about something good you can meet and hang and talk about?”
“Sure,” I replied flatly, wondering if he could tell that I starting to feel somewhat depressed right then so that he should just spare me from a rising homesick withdrawal.
Well I was only given FIVE measly days to go back to Canada a few weeks back - after, like, triquantumbagajillion years of not seeing my parents, my own room, my friends…
Come to think of it, I only spent like HALF of one day with TK and Brent going on a boat ride around the city!
MOMMY, I THINK I’M REALLY HOMESICK!
“Yeah! Why don’t you come on over to my place right now, TK? Fly over here and thrill me. I’m home alone!”
Man, you should have heard me.
“But do I need to report to any security guards or anything to get to your place?”
“Nah, just walk on in. Dude, you’re lucky! One of the guys cooked something you might like, I’ll just have to pop it in the microwave for you!”
I was talking like Sharpay from High School Musical or something.
And TK continued his joking about with, “Hmmm. Are you sure he’s okay with me finishing your food?”
“No problem!” I continued, letting the sarcasm in my tone drop on his head like a bag of bricks.
“But I’m running low on Coke. Can you stop by the convenience store and get a couple of bottles for me?”
TK laughed at that, in that jolly laugh he laughs in. He’s a really happy-go-lucky guy like, 99.9% of the time - I always wonder if he really is the type of guy who’d guffaw at someone’s funeral sometimes.
“Sorry dude. The nearest 7-11 from your house is as far as Vancouver. But I have ice cream soda with me though. Will that do?”
Seriously, this guy!
Can he be anymore *K-freakin’-Y about my depressing state right then?
“TK!” I snapped, shaking my head at the tiles to the sound of impatience blowing up near by temple.
“I’m seriously not in the mood right now! If you’re going to come all the way from Ontario to here with goddamn cream soda and hang out with me and finish my food right now, then…please don’t press the doorbell.”
“Why?”
Goddamn joker. I bet he was just doing this because it was fun to irritate me when I’m irritated.
“It’s broken. So you can just knock on the door. Oh and just do it three times.”
“Three times.”
“So I would know it’s you and not some crazy stalker fan who camps outside of this place on
random nights. Got it?”
“Got it!”
“You’re so not fucking funny,” I muttered, before killing the call with a hard press on the button of my cell.
“Insensitive son of a-”
That was when the front door of the mansion suddenly came alive.
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
And then someone started yelling.
“So are you gonna open the goddamn door or are you gonna let me freeze out here, Henry?!”
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*K-freakin’-Y
A very useful (yet difficult-to-translate) Japanese phrase is kuuki yomenai, or 'K.Y'
Literally translated, kuuki yomenai means "can't read the air." It is used to describe people who lack social tact.
XD
And some pics I'm pretty sure everyone saw already but what the Hell anyway lol...
HAPPY BELATED BDAY HENRY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHAE! And thanks for cutting your hair, XD
Family A gallery : 1 man, 2 boys and a woman.
Family B gallery : the ShiHan family.
No one will ever figure out that Bruce Wayne is actually Zhou Mi, really.
Kim Jae Wook + cakes + BL....
OMGOSH CAN'T WAIT FOR ANTIQUE!!!!
And just in case you'd like to know more about Taeyeon Kim aka TK aka Henry's best friend/popping partner, here's the link to the post I made when he was a contestant in Canada's Do You Think You Can Dance
Well, he didn't make it to the top 20 though.
*chants*
JOIN SM, TK. I'm pretty sure Soo Man's going to make you the 16th member of Super Junior if you do :P
YES, it's been a while!
LOL I'm doing fine and I hope I did okay with this chapter. I'd like to apologize for making some of you wait, especially after I said things like 'it'll be up soon' and all that nonsense. lol, terribly sorry for this!
And I figured that TK should be in this fic already, simply because XD
And yeah, hopefully I won't disappear for a long, long time again! XD
*gets on with the KyuMimi series*
yup, comments are love!
*HUGS*
Featuring : Sungmin, Zhou Mi, SHINee's Taemin and a very puzzling young man. XD
Henry Lau’s special comeback entry…
…START!
Nineteen-years-old and for the first time ever, I was going to jump off a 233 metre platform.
Okay maybe not. I wasn’t really going to do that.
Hell, I wouldn’t even jump off a 5 metre diving board in some kiddie swimming pool hall even if you freakin’ paid me to - because heights and me, we’re not really chums, if you know what I mean.
Well, okay, I might do it if you paid me a handsome amount of money, upfront by the way - alongside a 2010 Lotus Evora and a bajillionaire penthouse somewhere in Miami or something.
And yeah, okay, I’d really do it for charity. I’d put my utmost trust in Velcro and colourful karabiner security before bungee jumping for the sake of the unprivileged - in order to raise awareness, money and mad, one love because I really am a nice guy like my celebrated leader Han Geng is!
But uhm…Hey, you know what?
I’m just being the usual long-winded analogist I am right now - and I’m rather annoying like that I know.
Anyway.
What you guys really need to know is I really am a sworn madman in real life, I swear - if you’re thinking, like, basically inhygienic / dogmatic/ irresponsible / uncivilized / tainted / unethical and according to Brent, gay since I was two years of age…
You name it - I really am that exemplary person for each.
I just don’t look like it, because who the hell looks like any of the above when one’s a rising idol?
It’s like getting someone going, ‘You look like the kind of person who likes to eat squid balls!’
Exactly.
Just how the Hell can you tell a person who likes to eat squid balls anyway?
Go, like, ‘Hey! You look like a squid ball’?
*Leeteuk laugh*
But please, don’t blame my parents for raising one sod of a son because they really are the best parents in the world - it’s just that adolescence kind of shattered my innocence like a goddamn pebble to a mirror.
Then SM happened and at some point of time my first love tumbled along with it…
Canada's Henry Lau pretty much became the unstoppable WTFH of the universe after that, no?
Oh, lo and behold…the power of my cheeks!
So yeah, anyway, sex.
For first timers and all that…It’s pretty much the biggest deal in the world, I know. It’s like a gojira leap of a transition from innocence to not so innocent anymore, or like, the next huge thing after…Oh, I don’t know…Dong Bang Shin Ki and their fan club or something…
…Don’t laugh!
I’m rambling, Christ.
So anyway!
Personally, I think sex is…very, very, very similar to jumping off a goddamn plane a triquantumbagajibillion miles above sea level - if not a 233 metre platform off the goddamned ground in a variety game show!
Are you feelin’ my strings with that?
Okay. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure Lee Sungmin did.
Well, almost.
“Bed, Sungminnie - now.”
Christ. Something totally possessed me that night.
The path from the bathroom to my bed was littered with rose petals Sungmin had scattered all over for the holier-than-thou intention of creating something sexy and romantic - and of course, to blind himself from the reality that my room is actually a goddamn war zone.
I didn’t think the bajillion burning scented candles around us were doing a decent job at calming me down at all, mainly because my hands were too occupied excitedly touching Sungmin everywhere - it was as if I was ripping his clothes apart, even when I damned well knew he wasn’t wearing any.
“Sungminnie…”
My mouth, Jesus - I couldn’t control the way it was moving against his own. I mean, I was actually trying to breathe decently through the brief breaks between the reckless connections of our mouths, but it just got harder and harder to not want to kiss him at every damn millisecond passing.
"You know I can foresee that you're going to get really sexually frustrated soon."
Meet my best friend since the Crayola Renaissance, Brent Kingston.
Has he ever been wrong about things?
Goddamn Nostradamus - that’s who the bastard really is, I swear. You should meet him. He can
tell your future just by looking at the shirt you’re wearing for the day, no kidding. He kills you like that.
Anyway.
Around my neck, I felt Sungmin’s arms tightening to pull me into him, as if wrapping a leg across my back wasn’t enough to force me into the curves of his body already. Against my face, he was starting to pant louder when I selfishly stole more of his air, sucking harder on his swollen lips to pull him back into another round of intense kissing whenever he broke it.
“Hen…li…”
Oh my God, oh my God.
I can’t freakin’ control myself anymore.
“It’s Henry, Sungminnie,” I whispered, roughly biting a path to his shoulder, lapping thirstily on his sweet skin.
And the way it was making me feel right then - the thrilling sensation that was murdering my rationale in thinking that I was going to make love to another guy for my first time - I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan not even Zhou Mi suddenly barging into my room right there and then asking where I hid the usual rice crackers we have readily stocked in our dorm could stop me.
Okay, maybe I would sock him for interrupting…
“My name is Henry…”
And when you start to feel me move inside of you…
“…I want you to say it over and over again, Sungmin…Please…”
Goddamn dinosaurs roamed the Earth and became extinct before we finally met the edge of my bed in a clumsy trip, sending the both of us crashing into it, neither of us caring about the annoying flower pieces sticking all over our wet skins, getting into our hair and faces.
Fisting my hands into the short crop of his hair, I rolled over to sink him into the plush of my pillows - before pulling away to allow the heat of his mouth to travel down my slackening jaw, my neck, my shoulders...hearing the pleased moan spilling out of his throat when the slow grinding of my hips into his began to powerfully arouse me…
“Hen…ry…” he hissed softly when I boldly brought his other leg up to my waist, crossing it over the other - at the same time urging him to just freakin’ spread for me already.
“Henry…”
Again.
“Henry…”
Jesus, again please.
…And that was when he suddenly went, “Stop.”
Make a wild guess what I did next.
I was so hot and so turned on and was so ready to go to the next chapter of the Kama Sutra in my head - but I freakin’ stopped when his meek request damned well caused a goddamn traffic jam to the rush of my adrenaline pumping me out control.
AIYA!
“What…” I panted, pushing myself up with my arms to look at him. “What is it, Sungminnie?”
“This…This…Now…” He whispered; the red of his face turning crimson at every word he was gasping out.
And then, while staring deeply into my eyes, he jolly well asked, “Are…Are you sure?”
Pushing my dripping hair off my face, I blinked - Hell, I was that close to reaching that part in the sex manual which told me what I should do with my fingers - at the jingle of his panic seemingly rising out of the blue right then.
“I mean…” He continued nervously, seemingly shrinking into the duvet beneath us. “Do you know how to…”
Pfft.
I know the Kama Sutra at the back of my hand, please. I just don’t look like I do, I know. Let’s not go into that all over again though or it’ll never end.
“Yes!” I said, nodding in my blinding confidence to what he was talking about right then.
“I know how to do this…You just need to trust me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Boy, I really was determined to be Captain Canada in bed, no kidding. I really was becoming one
serious of a madman about it right then and I wasn’t having any second thoughts at all.
Like, who thinks during sex anyway?
But at that, Sungmin’s legs instantly loosened its strong lock around my waist.
Okay. Definitely not feeling my strings right then - and at a goddamn lousy timing too!
His question then came as a meek “But you’ve never…Have you?”
“Well no…” I tilted my head at him, raising an eyebrow at his action. “…Have you?”
“No…”
“Then…Let’s just…HWAITING!”
Sungmin looked like he just saw a freakin’ alien walk past his nose waving a Super Junior banner.
I know, Christ.
What in the bloody blue Hell was that, Henry!?
Perhaps my Mouth Bodyguard read the wrong script given by my Conscience Auditor for this matter?
AIYA!
“Hwaiting?!” He squeaked in shock, slapping sense back into my stupid, stupid, stupid head.
Crap. I think I might have just stuck my Kangin’s thoughtful chopsticks into his spleen and freakin’ killed him.
Yeah, they’re still around, those chopsticks. I don’t think Kangin will ever forgive me if I lose them.
Anyway.
“I’m going to let you enter me like that and that’s what you’re going to do?!”
AIYAAIYAIYAA!!!!!!!!!!
“You’re making me uncomfortable,” Sungmin stated, and he started to push me off him to sit up.
He didn’t have to exert so much force to send me sprawling onto my back, really. I think I jolly well made up my mind to sign my soul up to a fitness instructor just so I could push and toss him in beds right then.
I frowned; angrier rather than confused at his abrupt decision to just leave me in that kind of situation (you know...with that issue) - and in my own bed, too!
Like, how goddamn heartless could he get, Christ?
“Hey!” I sang apologetically, watching him get up and admiring his curves that I was close to possessing before I reached over to take the other hand that was not dusting the petals off his nude body.
“I love you,” I said, starting to pull him back to me. “I love you and I want you, Sungminnie…”
Did I stress that enough?
“Yah…” Sungmin smiled at my pleading, giving my hand a tiny, assuring squeeze.
With that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ kind of nonsense. Boy, was I getting really mad, I swear.
“I love you too, and I really want to be with you like this! I really do, believe me.”
My ass he did.
“But…I think you just don’t know what you’re doing?”
Oh, says the jolly first timer right then. Enlighten me, seriously. I kind of felt offended here.
And he continued the untimely lecture with, “You’re really unprepared for this. You just read the Kama Sutra and you think you know how to do everything - but you just don’t!”
Wei, wei, wei!
I’ve finally ironed out this little issue after bazilligajillion times of contemplation to put together my emotions and testosterones into a goddamn overdrive - so he could just murder me?
What kind of a freakin’ punishment is this?!
“What do you mean by that? I’m not a child anymore and I’m willing to do this with you, you know.”
“Well…I’m not!” Sungmin argued. He killed me, Christ. “We...We're moving too fast for this."
What the Hell?
What kind of freakin’ excuse is that?
"But we've been together for months - and we’ve done…things!" I blinked, my voice rising a little.
Surely he wants to progress ahead ¬and out of technical physicality! How long can you stand just being a technical virgin?
"But I don't feel good at the moment," Sungmin resorted to answering, his voice glazed with icing sugar.
I know he was just trying to sedate me.
"I’m so sorry but…not tonight, please.”
Damn.
“Wait!” My hand shot out again - because he was really leaving the goddamn bed, Jesus Christ.
“Okay, okay fine!” I sighed, almost purring to psycho him back into the mood or something.
“Tell me what I’ve to do then, because I can’t take this anymore - I want you now, and I’ll do anything.”
The horny desperado I turned into, Christ - and to think I used to be such an altar boy.
But it worked. Sungmin’s pretty eyes sparked a little at that, boy they really did.
The tiny, tiny, tiny smile on his face then came with an interested-sounding, “Anything?”
I nodded - although I was getting even more heebie-jeebies with the way he was suddenly excited.
But I didn’t really bother to bother about that any more when the fingers skimmed up my naked thighs, like iron branding into my skin when Sungmin crawled back on top of me, slowly kissing a route up to my neck with the kind of giggles that told me he just snagged a really good bargain here.
So…service over to Henry Lau of Canada!
YESSUH!!!
“Hen…ry,” he whispered against the heat of my cheeks…His lips leaving burn marks along my jaw line…
“What I really, really, really want…”
…The nibble of his teeth into the throbbing nerves around my throat forcing a weakened moan out of me.
“…is a pet.”
Ah…
A pet, huh?
Wait a minute.
“Come on, hurry and get up already…”
A WHUT?!
I didn’t even manage to sputter my surprise when Sungmin started shaking me by my shoulders.
“Let’s go to the aquarium right now, Ah Hen ah - before Seunghwan-sshi wakes up and finds out we’re gone!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
It’s not like Zhou Mi doesn’t respect people’s privacy or anything.
It’s more like he doesn’t the heck know how to respect mine, that’s all.
“And guess what? You buy one for half its normal price - and you get the other for free!”
Two seconds after I woke up on a damp Thursday, I declared war with Super Junior M’s resident Care Bear.
Just so you know, all of the above did happen the last time I was with Sungmin like that - only that we stopped because he really bloody thought I wasn't properly prepared for it.
‘LET’S JUST…HWAITING!’
Me and my goddamn mouth.
And according to him, I wasn't properly equipped for it when we stayed in the same hotel room for the SM Town concert in China too - next to the fact that time was too evil to be on our side.
So I'm wondering...Do I really have to put on some goddamn fencing attire or something to get him?!
Aish!
I don't wanna talk about it.
ANYWAY!
So I shot up from the plush oh my pillows and yelped an irritated, “You!”
“Hello and goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood moooooooooooooor-”
Boy, I gave him the mightiest of scowl I could manage without my cheeks dropping off my face.
“I…I don’t want to talk to you for the next thirty minutes!”
“-niiiiiiiiiing…Eh?!”
“You want a PET?!”
“Uh…yes. I’ve decided to curb some loneliness and I’m thinking of buying a-”
“Jesus. Go away!”
“What the Hell?”
“Don’t talk to me…I’m going back to sleep! BYE!” I muttered, with my crazy hair sticking all over the place as I gave him an angry shove before going back to cocooning myself under the covers.
Yes, I’m actually one of those people who believe that I can actually continue dreaming if I go back to sleep ASAP after being rudely awakened by an invincible force of positivism personified.
Zhou Mi gave me that innocent kind of look to tell me that he really didn’t think he did anything wrong by waking me up and telling me that he wanted to go buy goddamn fighting fishes.
At 7 AM in the morning.
Tell me this: Which godforsaken aquarium in this god-blessed solar system opens at that hour, huh?
Huh, huh…HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
“Why must it be thirty minutes anyway?” he continued, not moving from the space next to mine.
Then he jolly well ripped the covers off me.
If you must know, Super Junior M’s resident sunshine Zhou Mi is not a pushover.
He’s just persistent as Hell sometimes.
“Get up, Ah Hen ah…We don’t have time. After we buy the fishes, you can go back to sleep!”
First it’s dandy well walking into my room and jumping into my bed and murdering me with his sudden desire to do some freakin’ marine animal shopping nonsense…
…And now the return of the un-idol-like nickname of ‘Ah Hen’?
Oh, you have no freakin’ idea how I felt like pushing him and his big, big eyes off the face of the goddamn universe right then.
“Why can’t you bother Shiwon hyung for this?!” I snapped, brushing his hand off the fabric and stubbornly throwing it over myself again.
Now where was I…?
Zhou Mi snickered a little - probably at the fact that I was actually squeezing my eyes really tight to go back to sleep - before going, “Are you dreaming or what? There’s only you and me here! The rest are still in Korea.”
“Jongjun-sshi?”
“Korea too.”
“We’re stuck with the Aslan?”
“Yeah. Hey, I think he knows that we’re calling him that already, you know. He saw Kingdom of Narnia a few days ago! Maybe you should give him another code name or something…”
“So do we have a schedule today? I want to go back to sleep!”
“Why are you so Hell bent on going back to sleep when it’s a wonderful day outside?”
Every day is a wonderful morning to him by the way - and he doesn’t really care if you don’t feel his strings.
Yeah, I guess it’s a very good thing to have that kind of atmosphere within the group all the time.
But yeah, he could have picked a much, much, much better time to goddamn poke me with it or something.
“Because I was in the middle of a wonderful dream with Sungmin and you just destroyed it!”
“You and your obsession with Cheng Min…Come on! Get up, get out - and let’s go buy a Dong Hai!”
Let’s go buy a Dong Hai, he says.
He was talking about the fishes.
I notice that I tend to lose to cute things quickly nowadays. Sungmin, Taemin…Donghae…Zhou Mi…
Aiya…
“How are we going to get there? Our driver won’t be back till much later, right?”
“We can always call a cab - we’ll be back before anyone knows it,” Zhou Mi’s smile broadened.
“Hurry, will you? There are no fans outside! If we pull this off too late, we can’t even go out to the balcony!”
“Fine, fine!”
Now the good thing about the resident Aslan is that he doesn’t sleep like a freakin’ log or anything.
He practically dies for a certain number of hours - so it wasn’t that much of a challenge or risk for us to sneak out of the house to get to the shop Zhou Mi was directing the cab driver with.
“Ah!” Zhou Mi went; slapping my thigh like it was something that was created to be slapped all the time.
“It’s your birthday in a few days, right?”
My ability to space out for quite some time can really amaze anyone if they’d known about it.
So I (genuinely and) stupidly went, “It is?”
“It isn’t? It’s on the eleventh, right? I recorded it in my organizer, I think.”
“What date is it today?”
“October the…uh…” Zhou Mi fished out his Nokia. “Eighth.”
“Oh. What day is it today?”
“Har! You’re kidding me.”
“You can’t remember too?”
“It’s…Tues…No, Wednesday! And in case you’re gonna ask, your birthday is going to be on Saturday.”
Actually, I know that already.
I just felt like being an annoying dork, because anytime before ten o clock in the morning, I’m either not within the Earth’s orbit or I’m an overly ambitious funny madman.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
What?
Hey, the days as an idol just melts into another - we’re constantly ninja-ing ungodly time, space and continuum in designer clothes that cost more than the house bills I get back home in Canada.
So anyway, I was thinking…I shouldn’t trouble my own group member about any presents or anything.
I mean, we’re like brothers and all that but this was my first time celebrating my birthday with him and the group and all that…It wouldn’t be really nice to be so upfront about it, know what I’m saying?
Hmmm.
“Mimi?”
“Yes?”
Nah!
“Are you going to give me any presents for my birthday?” I grinned, putting my chin on his shoulder and shamelessly fluttering my eyes at him.
Zhou Mi looked at me like I was this super annoying bug that he wanted to smack to death or something.
“Of course I am,” he replied, apparently appalled that I even dared to ask him that.
“It’s your first birthday away from home! And come to think of it, we won’t have anything on Saturday…Since the rest are not going to be back here until later next week…”
“Oh…” I replied, my tone dropping a little at the sound of that. “…Where are they going to?”
“You don’t pay attention to the schedule much, do you?”
“We’re not part of their schedule, are we?”
Okay, fine.
Maybe I was looking forward to bothering everyone to celebrate my birthday with me or something - since I’m the youngest of the group and I’m pretty much spoilt to the core by the members, especially by my bullet proof monk with the unlimited supply of popcorn Ryeowook…
Since I’m always getting babied and all that, I wanted a huge cake with lots and lots of strawberries!
I wanted party poppers. I wanted cool gifts and shiny wishes and balloons and…and…Ronald McDonalds!
Okay, no. Clowns don’t rock my boat much ever since I saw Stephen King’s ‘It’…
Anyway, most of all, I want my Lee Sungmin to celebrate it with me!
And I wanted him as my birthday present - and this time, I wasn’t going to allow him to say no!
I’ll tie him down to my bed with my goddamn Guess sweaters if I have to!
I know. I like the mental image very, very much too. Designer bondage…
Please ignore that.
And okay, maybe I was just being an overly-dramatic drama king about everything.
Oh well.
At least Zhou Mi was around - and he’s always around when you want or need someone to be.
Zhou Mi’s sarcasm thawed at the drop of my tone when he continued to tell me about the Japan trip, and that our leader Han Geng would be busy with filming his new drama and all that.
“Oh okay then,” I nodded, unable to hide my sulk - before getting a mighty, hard slap on my chest.
Took my goddamn heart out, he almost did. “Ow! Hey that hurts!”
“Don’t be sad! I’m sure the fans are going to buy you tonnes and tonnes of mochi and make you happy!”
I laughed at that, wondering if that was going to be true since my current public image is FOOD > everything else.
I love to eat and I’m never gonna stop…Life couldn’t get better…Hey!
There’s no turning back from that, I can bet you ¬shi-freakin’-yuan for this.
“So!” Zhou Mi grinned, poking at my cheek. Goddamn poker, he really is. He can really poke you to death.
“What do you want for your birthday?”
Oh, nothing much. Maybe…A brand new DS Lite?
“Anything,” I shrugged, as if I was really going patronize him for such gadget. Maybe next year I will?
“What ‘anything’?” Zhou Mi’s smile died a little bit. “Tell me what you want!”
DS. DS. DS. Just say it Henry.
DEE ES LAAAAAIT!!!!!
“I don’t know!” I ended up blurting. “Why don’t you just surprise me with something?”
“And you might end up not liking it?”
I figured that I could always poke my family members with what I really want for my Big Nineteen anyway.
“I’ll like anything you give me.”
“Sure?”
“Yup!”
We stopped in front of a huge, sky blue building with bright, colourful fishes painted against it - and I had to check my watch if not my blinking eyes to see if I woke up on the Twilight Zone side of the bed or something.
Well I’ll be damned. The shop was actually open for business already!
A 24-hour aquarium - only in China, huh?
“I think I’ll get you an early birthday gift, Henli ah,” Zhou Mi was saying as we walked up the stairs to the double doors that had various promotional flyers stuck everywhere.
“Really?”
“Why not? Since we’re here already, I might as well!”
Err…?!
“Over here, they’ve got one of the biggest and most beautiful collections of fishes in the world…”
YAH!
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“…So why don’t you go ahead and look around and pick any Dong Hai that you like, Henli!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
“Hyung…Did you know Han Geng hyung ran a total of sixty three footsteps when he was the Olympics torch bearer?”
“You counted?”
“Heechul hyung miscalculated. He said it was sixty four.”
“You counted?”
“I’m really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bored at the moment!”
SHINee’s Lee Taemin, he managed to put his video call lessons to use and called me the other day.
He figured that calling me this way would be Hell lot cheaper than making international calls on his cell - and he’s lucky I’m pretty much the kind of guy who likes to bring my entire desktop plug-ins everywhere I go.
Yeah. I may not look like it, but there’s a tech geek hidden somewhere deep inside this Beethoven blood of mine.
Anyway.
“Hyung!” His gojira-huge banana smile seemed to have blown up on the screen of my Viao, over MSN.
If you must know, after hanging out with Taemin a couple of times, I came to understand that he can be the cutest living specimen in the face of the universe - in that Pikachu kind of sense - but he can be ungodly blunt when saying certain things but he’d be courteous as Hell to go about it.
And you couldn’t get angry/annoyed/offended at him at all, simply because it’s Lee Taemin.
So he said, “…Are you sure you’re on a diet? Your cheeks kind of look bigger than the last time I saw you…”
Perhaps he was bored out of his mind, yes.
So Lee Taemin, he learnt how to navigate a certain forum on the net after almost suffering from a goddamn migraine signing up for them - and eventually, subscribed to a Super Junior M thread.
And SHINee’s of course. I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he subscribed to his own solo thread if there’s one.
Maybe he subscribed to mine too - if there’s ever a solo one out there.
*Leeteuk laugh*
The amazing thing here is he couldn’t understand much English and Chinese, but he is the smartest boy in the face of the universe - so he used Bablefish to ninja the registration, and basically everything else.
Lee Taemin just went through Hell just to see the images, videos…anything fan-taken.
“The Chinese ELFs are really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally QUICK with updates! Faster than a bullet train!”
Seriously, now.
Whose son is this?
“Yah!” I frowned at such a ridiculous comment. “Are you saying I’m growing fatter?”
“No, no! I don’t mean it like that,” He shook his head at his webcam, his eyes rounding when I narrowed my eyes at him through mine.
“But uh…I thought you’re supposed to listen to Seunghwan-sunbaenim and cut down on sweets…”
“So you’re saying I’m growing fat!”
“No!”
“I’m hurt.”
“Maybe it’s just the way your hair is styled. It makes you look chubby. But just a little! You still look good!”
See what I mean?
“I like to eat a lot okay? Leave me alone already,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at him.
“Sorry!” Taemin really looked like he just killed Hamtaro with his bare hands. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“Yah! I am!”
“Eeek!”
“Kidding!” I stuck my tongue out at him, snickering like I just pulled the funniest stunt in the world.
“Phew!” He sighed out, blowing the bangs off his eyes in relief.
“Oh, and by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE, HYUNG! When will you be back in Korea? I already bought you a present! I’ll give it to you when you’re here.”
“Wow, okay. I’m not sure when though, but I go back to Korea once in a while anyway, don’t I?”
“I have to bring you to this Indian restaurant the manager brought us to the other day. The food there is great and unique. But Hyung don’t really like spicy food, do you?”
“Uhm…sorry, not much.”
Taemin’s huge banana smile died for a second.
“Oh. Well…”
Oh-oh. I think I just killed a cute little Hamtaro with my bloody hands, too!
AIYA!
I was thinking of what to say to bring his mood back when his smile suddenly returned, startling me a little.
“But it’s okay, hyung ah!”
“Eh?” I blinked at the fact that his grin just stretched 3 times wider than it did earlier.
“They do serve non-spicy dishes as well so there won’t be any problem at all. So we’ll go, okay!”
Seriously…WHOSE SON IS THIS?!?!?
“Anyway, I’m not going to disturb you anymore. You have UFO posts to reply to, right?”
“Oh no, it’s fine!” I said, wondering if there was something I did that made him think that he was bothering me.
“We can still talk. I’m just looking through the posts but Zhou Mi’s going to help me with the replies later.”
“You must be able to read more Chinese by now, right Hyung?”
“But I’m not confident in typing the characters. I don’t want to reply and end up cursing fans or anything!”
You know how a koala bear looks like with its head slightly tilted to one side, mouth chewing thoughtfully on a eucalyptus leaf and innocently looking at you with glassy, round and big, big black eyes?
“Uhm…”
If there are such things as werewolves, then SHINee’s Lee Taemin is a werekoala or something, I swear.
“Is that the only issue that’s preventing you from replying to the posts? Typing characters?”
“Yes, pretty much.”
“If that’s the case…then why don’t you just reply everyone in Pinyin, Hyung? It’s easier for you, right?”
YAH!
How come that never crossed my goddamn mind?!
AIYA!
“Taeminnie ah!” I suddenly sang out, gripping the sides of the LCD like I was grabbing the sides of his head.
“YOU’RE SO ADORABLE, DO YOU KNOW THAT?”
I saw him jumping in his seat a little when I almost kissed him through the monitor.
“Thank you! I’m going to try and reply to some posts now. But hey…what’s that next to you?”
His innocent werekoala eyes tried to tell me that I didn’t see anything, but of course Taemin failed miserably when I recognized what I was looking via my webcam.
“Taeminnie ah, is that…your History book?”
“YES, actually!” He suddenly groaned, before angrily brandishing a printed paper at me.
“Even when we have a million shows to do in a day…our tutor still gave us this, hyung ah!”
“You have homework!”
“Idols are not supposed to have homework!”
“You mean you have homework all the while chatting with me?!”
“Don’t remind meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”
Whose son is this?! He’s so cute, oh my God.
“What homework?”
“Essay! And it is due tomorrow evening, too. Heh. And I haven’t started anything at all!”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier? You shouldn’t be talking to me right now! Taeminnie ah…you!”
“IT’S OKAY! I just can’t be bothered to do it right now - Key hyung’s going to nag at me soon.”
“What’s the assignment?”
“Write a paper on a national leader.”
I gave him the kind of look a teacher would give to a student who was giving the excuse that a dog ate his homework - not humoured at all, I really wasn’t. I wasn’t exactly valedictorian material but I sure as Hell wouldn’t pull such a stunt when I was in school.
So I decided to press him with, “And…what’s the first step to getting started to that?”
Taemin’s banana smile returned to his face.
“Uhm…Admitting I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge problem?”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
“GOOD NIGHT, MOJJIBONBON! I LOVE YOU!”
Lee Sungmin’s final text message for the night ended with a generous amount of heart emoticons that could just bloody well cause a permanent data jam in my Samsung.
And yes, Mojjibonbon is me.
Ask Sungmin where in the gayest of green fields in this solar system he got the smashing idea from.
No, seriously. Go ahead.
Actually, he wouldn’t know either - but I’m looking at mochi, and I don’t know…bon bons or something he ate recently that must have stir-fried a major part of his super creative mind.
Not that I would want to be caught dead in public with it, but after a while I figured it sounded original anyway - and boy, if it goes out, it’s going to go right up there one day, in a Hall of Shame.
Like, hey, world!
Proudly presenting the New Age Mozart-Beethoven-Leonardo da Vinci-Vivaldi…
…Henry Mojjibonbons Lau!
Oh so gorgeous!
It was a quarter past three in the morning when I finally felt like sleeping.
Watching a pair of fishes with anger management issues go at each other in mayonnaise jars eventually bore me - and the level of silence in the mansion here in Beijing wasn’t helping at all since there was no one at home.
Zhou Mi and his tendency to sleep in the studio a few blocks up, and our Han Geng just called to tell me that he cooked something earlier in the day, and I could just defrost it if I felt like pigging out.
Even the Aslan was away…
…THIS REALLY SUCKS MOTH BALLS!
The last straw was when I actually couldn’t find anything interesting to eat in the fridge, so I gave up and eventually stuck my toothbrush into my mouth to prepare for bed.
And then my cell phone went off.
UNLISTED.
At the rate my boredom was shooting up, I would have gladly started a conversation with a stalker even.
“Yo.”
Silence.
“Hello? Yobusaeyo? Moshi moshi? Wei?”
What? I am supposedly multi-lingual, aren’t I?
Silence.
“Bye?”
A deep, deep chuckle debuted just as I was about to pull the phone away from my ear.
“You don’t like scary movies, so I can’t ask you ‘what’s your favourite scary movie Henry Lau’. You suck!”
Recognizing the voice, I rolled my eyes at the tiles of my bathroom.
“TK!”
“Boo!”
“Christ. It’s 3 AM in the morning. Tell me you’ve got something good to talk about, or I’m crashing.”
“Something good to talk about?”
He snorted from the other line, and I could see his crazy hair bouncing to the jolly shake of his shoulders as he continued to chuckle in my mind.
Then he sang, “How about something good you can meet and hang and talk about?”
“Sure,” I replied flatly, wondering if he could tell that I starting to feel somewhat depressed right then so that he should just spare me from a rising homesick withdrawal.
Well I was only given FIVE measly days to go back to Canada a few weeks back - after, like, triquantumbagajillion years of not seeing my parents, my own room, my friends…
Come to think of it, I only spent like HALF of one day with TK and Brent going on a boat ride around the city!
MOMMY, I THINK I’M REALLY HOMESICK!
“Yeah! Why don’t you come on over to my place right now, TK? Fly over here and thrill me. I’m home alone!”
Man, you should have heard me.
“But do I need to report to any security guards or anything to get to your place?”
“Nah, just walk on in. Dude, you’re lucky! One of the guys cooked something you might like, I’ll just have to pop it in the microwave for you!”
I was talking like Sharpay from High School Musical or something.
And TK continued his joking about with, “Hmmm. Are you sure he’s okay with me finishing your food?”
“No problem!” I continued, letting the sarcasm in my tone drop on his head like a bag of bricks.
“But I’m running low on Coke. Can you stop by the convenience store and get a couple of bottles for me?”
TK laughed at that, in that jolly laugh he laughs in. He’s a really happy-go-lucky guy like, 99.9% of the time - I always wonder if he really is the type of guy who’d guffaw at someone’s funeral sometimes.
“Sorry dude. The nearest 7-11 from your house is as far as Vancouver. But I have ice cream soda with me though. Will that do?”
Seriously, this guy!
Can he be anymore *K-freakin’-Y about my depressing state right then?
“TK!” I snapped, shaking my head at the tiles to the sound of impatience blowing up near by temple.
“I’m seriously not in the mood right now! If you’re going to come all the way from Ontario to here with goddamn cream soda and hang out with me and finish my food right now, then…please don’t press the doorbell.”
“Why?”
Goddamn joker. I bet he was just doing this because it was fun to irritate me when I’m irritated.
“It’s broken. So you can just knock on the door. Oh and just do it three times.”
“Three times.”
“So I would know it’s you and not some crazy stalker fan who camps outside of this place on
random nights. Got it?”
“Got it!”
“You’re so not fucking funny,” I muttered, before killing the call with a hard press on the button of my cell.
“Insensitive son of a-”
That was when the front door of the mansion suddenly came alive.
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
And then someone started yelling.
“So are you gonna open the goddamn door or are you gonna let me freeze out here, Henry?!”
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*K-freakin’-Y
A very useful (yet difficult-to-translate) Japanese phrase is kuuki yomenai, or 'K.Y'
Literally translated, kuuki yomenai means "can't read the air." It is used to describe people who lack social tact.
XD
And some pics I'm pretty sure everyone saw already but what the Hell anyway lol...
HAPPY BELATED BDAY HENRY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHAE! And thanks for cutting your hair, XD
Family A gallery : 1 man, 2 boys and a woman.
Family B gallery : the ShiHan family.
No one will ever figure out that Bruce Wayne is actually Zhou Mi, really.
Click to viewKim Jae Wook + cakes + BL....
OMGOSH CAN'T WAIT FOR ANTIQUE!!!!
And just in case you'd like to know more about Taeyeon Kim aka TK aka Henry's best friend/popping partner, here's the link to the post I made when he was a contestant in Canada's Do You Think You Can Dance
Well, he didn't make it to the top 20 though.
*chants*
JOIN SM, TK. I'm pretty sure Soo Man's going to make you the 16th member of Super Junior if you do :P
YES, it's been a while!
LOL I'm doing fine and I hope I did okay with this chapter. I'd like to apologize for making some of you wait, especially after I said things like 'it'll be up soon' and all that nonsense. lol, terribly sorry for this!
And I figured that TK should be in this fic already, simply because XD
And yeah, hopefully I won't disappear for a long, long time again! XD
*gets on with the KyuMimi series*
yup, comments are love!
*HUGS*