Entry #38 : Nobody but you
Entry #38 : Nobody but you
Featuring : TK, KyuHyun, Han Geng, Donghae, Shiwon
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Once upon a time, there was a very shy and very awkward adolescent named Henry Lau who preferred to spend his school break by staying indoors and have superbly exciting classical violin lessons by himself.
He’s still so shy now - but he’s not that awkward anymore, though. Idols can’t afford to get be stunned silly when bright lights start flashing from everywhere, aren’t they?
The vain, spoilt brat he’s turning into nowadays - Sorry Mrs Lau, sorry God. Sorry world.
Anyway.
Henry had a best friend called Brent Kingston, who was as loud as the goddamn school’s PA system (that hasn't changed too)- and this Brent boy came over with a ball one day, calling Henry out for a game because he didn’t have enough people on his team to win a match against some boys from the next block.
He knew Henry didn’t really like doing sports - but it wasn’t like Henry was bad at it or anything.
So Henry decided to give sweating in the hot, hot sun a shot because he figured he needed a breather from staring at musical notes that were starting to give him the Han Geng Male PMS.
The two teams met at a court behind Burger King, and that was how Henry met the first coolest Korean cat in his life.
Henry came to know that Taeyeon Kim was going to the same high school as him in a few weeks’ time - and as soon as he did, he became that kind of guy who could get anyone’s attention wrapped around his little finger whenever he wanted to.
He didn’t join the rugby team or the bloody debate team or that tree huggers club which protested at just about everything after church every Sunday - but he became more popular than any jock, nerd and hippie in the hood, and it was really, really funny.
Taeyeon Kim - aka TK - he is your normal teenage boy who can easily rearrange a Rubix cube back to its original state within 45 seconds and that is, if he is a nervous wreck.
His best record is 30 seconds, but he isn’t a genius or anything. He’s just good with angular perception and all the terms you learn if you give a hoot about architectural designs and stuff.
Above all, he totally wrecks amazing Hell whenever he dances.
Back then, he hung out with the school’s coolest b-boys and fly girls, killed dance floors with them - and Henry quickly became a fan of his.
A ninja fan though, one who would come to watch TK whenever he performed somewhere because TK's mad, spastic feet swept Henry off his two left ones.
Okay I'll stop the third-party talking thing. Sorry. Anyway!
And then there I was, in Brent’s team as a small forward - and the first thing I did was almost taking TK’s bloody teeth out in a friendly match of basketball.
Because Hell, if there was anyone who wouldn’t the Hell give up his defence, even if you freakin’ paid him to, then I’m talking about the right person here.
It was an accident though; how my damned elbow met his chin - and he didn’t lose his teeth in the end, so we became friends over some good ol’ tacos and upsized Mountain Dews after that.
I don’t mean to sound corny or anything but since then Brent, TK and I, we began chilling out more and more - and kind of developed the same idea that we don’t really have many other friends that we wanted to hang out with after school everyday.
Like Brent, I can tell TK everything, anything - and the two of them are really the kind of guys who will always tell me that whenever life gives me lemons, I'll just have to make lemonade.
And then I can maybe sell it, so we can all go to a movie marathon uptown if something like that is even possible now.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway.
Then I decided to follow the general trend and become cool, too.
I dropped classical violin, took up an electric one - and TK turned me into a very happy, moon-walking wobbling human Jell-o by teaching me how to pop.
We formed a duo, created Boogaloo popping, joined contests, performed in festivals and even turned into buskers at train and bus stations - because we had a motto, and a grand mission.
“The FOB dorks will inherit the universe.”
My days as the great Gojira Hambaga officially began - until one day, SM Entertainment held that audition that totally changed my life, in which TK and Brent were generally responsible for pushing me into it.
And in case you’re wondering, TK didn’t audition for it at all - because for him, dancing wasn’t really the world. Architectural design was, so he was going to go to University for it.
What about Captain Kingston, you ask?
Him?
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Sorry.
Brent’s a karaoke fanatic though - and that’s just about it. Brent is actually a nerd who likes Math when everyone hates it, but he’s a very cool nerd. He’d shoot me for revealing this but yeah, whatever.
Anyway.
That particular night, I jolly well made my best friend stand outside the door of my apartment for a good three minutes before I finally let him in.
“TK!”
If you guys had seen Alice in Wonderland, Taeyeon Kim looked exactly like the merry Cheshire cat right then - with the huge ass grin right up to the crazy mass of anti-gravity hair on his head.
And he said, “Dude, it’s a fuckin’ five degrees out here-”
“You’re not real.”
Well…because of the extreme shock that surged into me the second I opened the door to see a smiling Taeyeon Kim standing there - in Bei-freakin’-Jing, Chi-freakin’-na - I ended up slamming the door right back in his face.
At a grand total of nine times, too.
And I even called him a freakin’ demon, because I seriously believed he really was one.
Why a demon above anything else, I don’t the Hell know too. In shock, couldn’t think straight and I have been watching too much of that Supernatural drama lately - so go figure, I guess.
Anyway.
According to TK, he was only in China because he was following the University’s youth service group in their three-week volunteering programme to help an area in Sichuan rebuild their lives from the recent earthquake, and at the same time learn a thing or two about Chinese culture.
However, according to me, TK just jolly well just skived two days’ of official itinerary just to come and see me in Beijing - and he was definitely going to get his ass roasted and deported out of Asia for it.
But of course, TK argued that he wouldn’t mind getting himself into trouble once in a while - and that the team was actually the kindest bunch of kids that you’d really ask God to bless and have eternal mercy on their souls.
Then I started laughing, like, hard.
Like, since when the Hell was TK ever an enthusiast in working for free?
I guess Brent wasn’t kidding when he told me that my cool cat mentor has developed mad love for humanitarianism - and is slowly but surely turning into a Tony Stark.
Here lies Taeyeon Kim - most definitely the second WTFH of the universe.
But yeah, I decided to not question him anymore because I was happy to see him and stuff, and the bastard really brought ice cream soda and all the midnight junk you can think of - and we basically started chilling out in the living room talking about nonsense (to make a really long story short really) while randomly channel surfing…
Boy, it was as if we were back in good ol' Toronto, probably in Kingston's garage slacking as couch potatoes in that beat up sofa of his - and I was this close to telling him how much I missed him and Brent like some goddamn love sick girl when he suddenly yelped.
“AH!”
We were actually looking for any reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, Christ, but of course we ended up stumbling into something else.
“Now I remember what I’ve always wanted to do with you, Henry!”
And that was when TK started becoming all giddy and excited and gay and Jesus, I’ve never seen him twitter like a Choi Gabriel Shiwon would when he saw his ideal Armani suit on display or something.
Look, I seriously do not mind doing crazy stuff just for the Hell of it.
But what TK was asking for was a little too much for me to handle, and I just had to freak out.
We’re almost the same height and build, but he towered over me like goddamn leaning tower of Pisa. I can bet you shi-freakin'-yuan it was the hair that made him an inch taller, but yeah I guess what made the most difference was the fact that I was sitting down in the couch and he was literally hovering over me.
And then you can picture me gawking at him before yelping, “No freakin’ way!”
TK gave me the kind of look a mother would give to a superbly annoying kid who wouldn’t to Hell and back touch his damned plate of steamed veggies.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never done this before…because I don’t believe you.”
I shook my head vigorously. I seriously wasn’t in the mood for this at all, Jesus, I really wasn’t.
"Do you know that this is, by far, the most disgusting thing you've ever asked me to do!?"
“Are you serious?" TK’s bushy eyebrows came together to the middle of his face.
“Wait...Aren’t you with Sungmin?”
“What? Yeah but...We’ve never done it before.”
I jolly well just sent thunderbolts right into him and cooked his insides to medium rare.
“What?! You mean after all this while you didn’t even try to attempt this?”
“Well I ever thought about it…but Hell no I would let him teach me that!”
“It’s not like you can teach him, Henry. In this department, he’ll own you anytime, man. Has he ever forced you to it, then?”
"No. Because he knows what respecting my decision means - unlike you!"
"How are you going to like it if you've never tried?"
TK clucked his tongue before stretching his hands out to grab mine - but I bloody well jumped a triquantumbagajillion miles away from him, almost falling off the couch in the process.
“Why the Hell not? He’s probably the best when it comes to this kind of…thing. I mean, dude, don’t get me wrong but I think he really has the ass for it - you should totally fall into his submission or something.”
Perhaps I didn’t sneer hard enough because TK actually found humour at the sight of my lips twisting into an angered frown the more he continued talking about my Sungmin like that.
And yet he innocently looked at me and damned well asked, “What?”
“It’s freakin’ embarrassing, damn it. And stop talking about his ass.”
“You’re telling me you’re embarrassed when you’re around me? Dude, since when?”
“It’s not that. It’s just…so wrong! You’re like my best friend, TK. I can’t just do it with you.”
"Why?" The Cheshire cat grin returned to his face. “You’re worried I might tell?”
“No. I’m worried you might start recording us doing it on your stupid phone and then upload it on your goddamn YouTube account!”
“Damn.”
“You're just predictable like that.”
“Okay how about I record it, but I won’t upload it on YT, since you’re an idol and all that and you’ve got major idol image issues to maintain...and you’re not supposed to be gay and all…”
“Hey, don’t make it sound like it’s a disease, will ya?”
“Sorry. But come on, man. Just this one time, you and I. You know you want to, Henry. I know you want to. You’ve been dreaming of it, I’m sure you ever did.”
Bloody Hell, this guy.
“Give me one good reason why I should do this - and with you of all people!”
“Because it will be your first time, and what better way to do it then with someone you are very, very familiar with? Like me! I can like, do a grading to whether or not you’re good - or just plain lousy at it.”
“But the point here is I don’t want to…this…this is RIDICULOUS, TK!”
“Everyone’s doing it, and you’re like the last male on Earth who hasn’t. Hell, even BRENT’s done it, okay?”
My eyeballs sprang out of my sockets at that, like, in a boing, boing, boing kind of way.
“Kingston did it!?”
“Totally, and he’s been scoring with the chicks lately, too. It’s the skills, Henry. Your precious cheeks are going to sag one day, and you won’t have anything to win the ladies over!”
What the Hell, this guy? That totally had nothing to do with what he was forcing me into!
Aiya!
“Plus, there’s only you and me in this house - just the two of us. We should really do it when we have the time...Do you want the rest to catch you doing it with me right here? I don’t think so, yanno?”
Fine, Christ!
I frowned when he came over, slipped his arm across my back, around my waist and I let him pull me up to my feet - before allowing him to happily position me in front of him.
“Just this once, Henry - you’ll like it, I promise. And when you found your rhythm after the first try, we can do it over and over again. Bend your legs a little more and straighten your back.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to do this with you. Argh!”
He snorted, before kicking my legs wider apart. I almost toppled over my spine, Christ.
“You’ll want more after this. Maybe it’ll turn dangerously addictive, and you’ll do it the first thing you get up in the morning, and before you go to bed. Every day, with Sungmin. And maybe with Ryeowook too!”
“Yeah!” I rolled my eyes at him. “Or maybe…with the entire of Super Junior!”
“And the more we get together, the merrier we’ll be!”
“Whatever.”
“Ready? I've got the song in here so...”
The scowl on my face deepened, but obviously TK was already too excited in fishing out his cell phone before placing it on the coffee table we moved to the side - and pressing the play button to the mp3 function.
The song that I would come to dread so much listening to one day started playing.
I want nobody, nobody but you…
And in front of me, TK the twittering sparrow of a fan boy went…CLAP, CLAP! CLAP, CLAP!
Nobody, nobody but you…
CLAP, CLAP! CLAP, CLAP!
And then he saw me groaning in my displeasure and went, “Come on, Henry. The steps are really easy. First you put your hands out like this…Then you bring it up like this...”
Nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo...
I want nobody, nobody...nobody, nobody...
I know, right.
Who would have thought that TK actually knew how to dance to the Wondergirls, really?
But then again, which Korean can't dance to them anyway?
And that TK actually got me to dance along to it with him?
Damn. If we hadn't stumbled into that short advertisement about their music video earlier...
I want nobody, nobody but you...
Next to me, he barked, "Why aren’t you clapping?! You missed the cue again!”
Aiya.
Oh, and by the way…
If your mind is dirty and you know it, clap your hands?
*Leeteuk laugh*
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TK told me he was going to go to Taiwan the next day, just for a couple of hours before he returns to his crew.
I asked him why, and get this.
"Because Taiwan is Taiwan-DERFUL!"
Kim Yeh Sung's cold jokes ate his brains, too.
Anyway.
Super Jumper M was stuck in a traffic jam in a busy street of a Chinese downtown when I looked out the Audi’s window we were riding in - and found my jaw dropping at the sight of a nearby bus stop.
Then I frantically fished out my cell phone from the pocket of my (expensive than my own house bill back in Canada) blazer, and snapped a picture of it.
Cho KyuHyun would have thought that I must have drank too much of that soy bean milkshake Ryeowook made for breakfast this morning if I hadn’t stopped getting too excited by myself to calmly tell him what the Hell I was suddenly bouncing in my seat for.
"Look! Look!”
His silent and still aura since the start of our journey to the Cosmopolitan Beauty Awards broke to follow the direction to where my finger was pointing at outside.
“Ah…” KyuHyun went, blinking at what he thought I was referring to.
“A…bus station?”
“What? No! Not that! That one!”
Christ, I was close to breaking the damn glass when I started punching at it. Aslan Seunghwan-sshi told me to stop it, of course, because he was trying to talk on the phone.
But I just couldn’t. I was goddamn excited as Hell all over again but neither my manager nor KyuHyun was feeling my strings because one was kind of blind, while the other was checking on our next schedule (he's forever doing this. Maybe it's his hobby or something).
Still staring at the object, KyuHyun deadpanned, “You don’t have bus stops in Canada or what?”
I stupidly began to wonder all over again if he just loves getting on my nerves since he is sadistically sarcastic most of the time - especially to me.
“Hyung,” I turned to him, not amused. Perhaps he really should have let the stylist pull the hair off his black, black, black eyes a bit - so that he could bloody well see.
“Behind the bus stop. BEHIND IT! A0 size!”
My Semir model poster, it was my first time seeing it with my own eyes.
I know it’s probably been months since they put the damn thing up in public, but it’s not like I get to go out on my own all the time.
“That’s me!” I grinned, returning to taking another picture of it. I zoomed in, Christ I really did, by 60% too.
Oh, you are so gorgeous!
Imagine that. I'm my own fan boy - so full of myself, no fake.
“Ooooh…that,” KyuHyun said in that dawning of realization tone, finally getting it when he saw it too.
And then he kind of killed me with a smirk that came as a flat, “That’s a really nice watch you have there.”
Wei!
What about the person modelling it?
But of course he continued to ask, “So which model were you posing for that day?”
Seriously, this guy.
“I have no idea, hyung,” I replied, deadpanning at him in my obvious annoyance.
He started laughing at my unhappy reaction like his team just won the World Cup or something.
“Yah, Henli! You’ve been an idol for almost a year and you get excited over little things like that?”
I felt like scowling at him and going, “well forgive me for never thinking that I would have this non-idol material face of mine to get blown up to a size bigger than a goddamn train ticket, hyungie ah.”
But of course I didn’t tell him that - because I really am a nice guy like that.
“I guess I still need a little more getting used to this kind of lifestyle, hyung.”
“Yes - and even when you do, don’t let fame into your head, Henli-sshi - young idols like us usually get shot down faster when we’re full of ourselves.”
Okay.
I really couldn’t tell if he just gave me an advice, or just mocked me for flailing at my own poster earlier.
Anyway.
Eventually, we got out of the jam and arrived at the foot of the red carpet to the show - with camera light bulbs going off like bright fireworks in the skies the second we stepped out of our cars.
“IT’S SUPER JUNIOR M!”
I think I’m lucky that I have small eyes - I don’t the Hell know how Donghae stands it. His pupils must have developed an invisible shield or something, because mine will sort of sting a little after events like this.
“Mimi!” KyuHyun called out as Zhou Mi walked past our Audi (we came in two cars), grabbing him by the elbow and pulling the walking lamp post to his side.
“Donghae hyung says I look like a fuwuyuan,” KyuHyun was saying in his halting Mandarin. “He’s too much!”
Nowadays, I keep thinking that the world is ending very, very soon.
I mean, did the resident snark just whine at Zhou Mi?
Anyway, KyuHyun’s Chinese is not really that bad, really. I foresee that he’s going to kick my ass soon, and go over to Choi Gabriel Shiwon’s team.
The ‘our Chinese is Hella better than Henry’s and to think he’s Chinese’ team.
“What?” Zhou Mi laughed. “You don’t look like a waiter at all! You look just like you do all the time.”
In case you want to know, Zhou Mi’s been absorbing Korean like a freakin’ sponge to spilled punch lately - so he pretty much speaks less Mandarin when the cameras are off nowadays, just to practice.
He speaks Korean to our leader too, which is kind of funny since they’re both Chinese.
Super Junior M’s smashing language rendezvous, alright.
But yeah, aiya!
Why can’t everyone in this world just speak English?
“Really?” The Korean slipped back into his mother tongue. “How do I look all the time, Mimi ah?”
“You look very handsome.”
You get someone like the DraKyuHyun going from (=.=) to (^_^) to (^o^), and…
I think we’ve found our third WTFH of the universe already, no?
“Because I’m wearing a tie - and you’re wearing a tie too!”
“So?”
“Don’t you know? Better looking people wear ties. Shiwonnie hyung is wearing a tie. See?”
Just so you know, Ryeowook and I, we were wearing bow ties for the event. Donghae wore a neck scarf.
So…‘Better looking people wear ties’, huh?
YAH!
What kind of wardrobe discrimination is this, KyuHyun ah?!
And to think I used to be able to live looking like goddamn Hobbit, I swear.
The vain airhead I’m turning into nowadays. Sorry, mom. Sorry, God but Versace ate my brains.
Next we were escorted to posing for the cameras in front of the great wall of Cosmopolitan.
“Ryeowook hyung?” I called when we got into our usual group pose positions, but I was surprised when I didn’t see my love fighter sensei next to me when I turned my head over my shoulder.
Instead he was way over at the other end of where I was standing at - with KyuHyun next to him.
Wow. So he’s really, really, really bravely going forward, huh?
Boy, suddenly I felt like it was kind of weird not having Ryeowook around me.
I mean, he usually babies me in almost every thing I do - and my Ryeowoo-kiyeowor umma kills me sometimes, but you know I hardly mind. I love the attention, really.
But nowadays he splits his undivided attention juggling magnaes - and it was alright until it became like 30% Henry time and 70% KyuHyun time after a while.
No, I’m not jealous.
Okay.
Maybe just a teensy weensy bit.
Well, at least I’ve Donghae to play with. My Pigs R Us partner for life, he really is.
Speaking of Donghae, I was pretty sure that I fed my little Dong Hais before we went out that night.
Did I?
Yeah. I did…
I think.
…
Yeah okay, you did Henry.
Now just smile and wave - and smile and wave!
Anyway.
I was checking on TK’s YouTube account later that same night after returning from the award show - to see if he actually uploaded the stupid video of us dancing to the Wondergirls when Choi Gabriel Shiwon walked into my room.
And he went,” Henli ah, can you lend me your colour markers for a second?”
“Uh…sure,” I nodded, getting off my bed to head for my cupboard where I keep all my nonsense in.
Yeah, well. I know I can’t draw even if anyone voodoo-ed my limbs with black magic, but I do carry around things like that for the Hell of it. I mean, I used to vandalize Zhou Mi’s calendar with it during our pre-debut days…and not to mention showing off my geometric drawings to people in a ‘Guess What Henry Just Drew’ game.
I pulled out the blue pouch and handed it to him.
He took it with a brief ‘thanks!’ before literally jogging out to head back to his room.
“Hyung,” I called out, catching up with him before he could close the door on me. “Are you drawing?”
“Oh, I’m not drawing anything,” Shiwon said, smiling innocently at me.
His laptop was open on his bed, and I bet you he was randomly surfing into fan sites to check out on stuff.
In case you don’t know, other than Zhou Mi, Shiwon usually brings up the rumours he sees or hears to our group meetings - so that we can learn a thing or two about it and maybe try to clear off some of horrible ones when we get on air.
I know, right.
Like father, like son - like Choi, like Zhou!
He told me, “I’m just going to make a sign.”
“A sign?”
“Yes. And I’m going to put that sign up at the front door of this house!”
I stopped myself from asking if he was going to put up something from the Bible and went, “What sign, hyung ah?”
“Later, okay?”
I decided to wait for later and was entering my room when Donghae jumped me from out of nowhere.
“HENLI!”
“CHRIST!” I screamed at the hard plant of his hands on my shoulders. “Hyung! You scared me!”
Donghae didn’t smile or laugh at my jump - but instead, he gave a creepy, dead stare.
“Hyung-“
Then his fingers started to curl into the fabric of my shirt, and his sharp nails digging into my flesh.
Then he whispered, “I’m dead, Henli ah…”
Huh?
“…You killed me!”
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Thirty seconds later, I found myself standing accused of first degree manslaughter.
“Look at what you’ve done!”
I understand that his loving fans call him ‘Fishie’ because while Kangin is Korea’s number one raccoon, Lee Donghae really looks like Ariel’s best friend in Disney’s the Little Mermaid.
The East Sea, that’s what his name means in his mother tongue.
So I guess he felt somewhat attached to my new pets the second he saw them in those crazy jars on my table in my room after returning to China from Korea a few days ago.
Make it pet now - because one of the two fighting fishes Zhou Mi got for me as birthday presents died.
“You forgot to feed it!” Donghae roared, shoving the mayonnaise jar with the dead fish inside to my face.
I stared at the tiny, dead eyes looking straight back into mine.
Oh my God.
“Henli ah, you cannot fool people with your Mojji cheeks anymore...You’re a murderer!”
I actually killed a Dong Hai.
Because I swear I totally forgot about them - but luckily, one survived and it’s the more temperamental one that did.
I think if both had died from starvation, Donghae would have jolly well get Shiwon to throw me out of the bloody windows, if not stone me to death for such an inhumane act.
And then Zhou Mi would run me down with a crazy lawnmower…
And KyuHyun would stand on the porch, laughing his ass off.
Aiya!
“What’s going on?”
We turned around to see Han Geng walking into my room in those handsome, handsome strides of his.
“Hyung!” Donghae went, brightening up at the sight of our leader.
“You’re back. Where did you go? You didn’t join us at the awards show today. We felt weird performing without you, hyung ah.”
“Filming for the drama, what else?” He answered, before raising his eyebrows at the jar in Donghae’s hand.
“Goodness…Is it dead?”
“Henli killed it.”
Han Geng gasped, in a dramatic as Hell manner. Hand flying to the mouth, that kind.
“I just forgot to feed it!” I yelped in self-defence. “It’s not like I want it to die, Donghae hyung ah.”
“I’m so sad!” Donghae pouted at the dead fish in his hands, sulking horribly as he turned for the door.
“I’m going to go bury myself in the backyard now. See you later.”
Han Geng and I, we were actually trying very hard to not laugh at his choice of words right then - so we waited until he was out of earshot before bursting into snorts of guffaws.
“Maybe we should…accompany him or something - or he will never let us all sleep peeacefully,” Han Geng went, his sensitivity debuting faster than mine.
Then he went, “Do you know what celebrities like us are not supposed to have, Henli ah?”
“Uhm…Pets?”
“You can’t even take care of yourself properly, and you want to take care of another life? It’s rather impossible, really,” he continued, shaking his head at such ideas.
“I used to have a pet dog called RongRong. But I had to give it up because I’ve no time for it!”
“Heechul hyung still has Heebum.”
“That’s because he can take care of it, despite his busy schedule. Look at us jetting back and forth from one country to another…It’s a lot tougher than it looks like sometimes, isn’t it?”
Well it wasn’t like I wanted little Dong Hais in the first place anyway. It was Zhou Mi's smashing idea to give me Dong Hais as birthday presents!
Maybe I should put the other fish up for an e-bay auction or something.
Item name: Super Junior M’s Henry Lau’s temperamental official pet fish.
Autographed mayo jar with authentic signature included!
Bidding starts at USD1000.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Kidding, kidding!
I’ll probably just give it away to a lucky fan the next time some crazy TV station barges into our apartment and starts nicking our things…
We were grabbing our jackets when Shiwon came out of his room and strode right past us with a very serious look on his face - before stopping at the front door of the house.
And then he slapped a paper on the polished wood, and started going bam, bam, BAM!
I realized that he was done with the sign making - but totally didn't get it why he was putting it up in a violent manner.
“Hyung!” Han Geng blinked as we rushed over to the Bionic man’s side after he was done banging on the poor, poor, innocent door.
I mean, I’ve never felt so sorry for inanimate objects before, Christ.
“What is that? What are you doing?”
Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he’s the type of nice guy who never wants you to think that he is angry at anything - but he would like you to think that he is just ‘extremely displeased’ with something.
With two giant palms still covering the sign he made as if he was going to make the grandest revelation in the history of mankind soon, Shiwon’s eyebrows rose higher up his forehead at our leader.
“Hyung ah. I’d like to ask you that question too,” he said, smiling and smirking at the same time.
“Hm?” Han Geng shot me a questioning glance before turning back to the other.
“Alright...What question, Shiwonnie?”
And Shiwon went, “Do you know what celebrities like us are not supposed to have?”
Okay.
As usual, I must have missed something MAJOR here...Because Han Geng seemed to know what the Hell the other guy was going on about judging from the way his eyes sparked, and I was that clueless little gold Dong Hai all over again.
"Oh, and just so you know, Heechul hyung knows about it too!"
Shiwon continued, and he was talking in this really weird sing-song tone that you only hear in horror movies where children's singing usually creep the living Jesus out of you.
"Really?" Han Geng was surprised, but in a very unpleasant way.
"Then...What did he say?"
Our Choi Gabriel Shiwon, you can really count on him to make something that is really bad sound not so bad after all with his better choice of words and his more tactful way of approaching anything.
However, he had to disappoint us that night - because he really fails at lying you see.
So he answered our leader with a flat, "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
Nothing?
Nothing to what?
"Yeah." Shiwon nodded. "Heechul hyung said nothing about it."
Han Geng kind of paled at that.
And then he said, "Oh, crap."
I tried raking my mind a little bit, but I guess I didn’t really have to when Shiwon took off his hands from the paper just pasted on the front door of Super Junior M’s apartment right then.
Han Geng totally fails in English, but any idiot would be able to understand what the resident Bionic man just wrote in threateningly huge, red letters.
It said:
SORRY, NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!
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Read the rest here
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*FOB : Fresh off the boat - the sociology of ethnicity, this term can be seen as an indicator of a nature of diasporic communities, or communities that have left their country of origin and have migrated, usually permanently, to another country. The term also has been adapted by immigrants themselves or others in their community who instead see the differentiation as a source of pride, where they have retained their culture and have not lost it to assimilation. In some instances, people who have assimilated or acclimated into their host country still identify themselves as an FOB to show they have not assimilated completely.
Yeah...just so u know LOL.
LOL i just like the HenHae XD
Yes, Mimi. SJM is shipjeom man jongae shipjeom (10 POINTS OUTTA 10)!!!
credits to SJM thread@Soompi
I realize that Muse is like a goddamn oreo cookie nowadays...
Anyway, apologies for the late post. Hope ya'll like it. Till next one ;)
Featuring : TK, KyuHyun, Han Geng, Donghae, Shiwon
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
Once upon a time, there was a very shy and very awkward adolescent named Henry Lau who preferred to spend his school break by staying indoors and have superbly exciting classical violin lessons by himself.
He’s still so shy now - but he’s not that awkward anymore, though. Idols can’t afford to get be stunned silly when bright lights start flashing from everywhere, aren’t they?
The vain, spoilt brat he’s turning into nowadays - Sorry Mrs Lau, sorry God. Sorry world.
Anyway.
Henry had a best friend called Brent Kingston, who was as loud as the goddamn school’s PA system (that hasn't changed too)- and this Brent boy came over with a ball one day, calling Henry out for a game because he didn’t have enough people on his team to win a match against some boys from the next block.
He knew Henry didn’t really like doing sports - but it wasn’t like Henry was bad at it or anything.
So Henry decided to give sweating in the hot, hot sun a shot because he figured he needed a breather from staring at musical notes that were starting to give him the Han Geng Male PMS.
The two teams met at a court behind Burger King, and that was how Henry met the first coolest Korean cat in his life.
Henry came to know that Taeyeon Kim was going to the same high school as him in a few weeks’ time - and as soon as he did, he became that kind of guy who could get anyone’s attention wrapped around his little finger whenever he wanted to.
He didn’t join the rugby team or the bloody debate team or that tree huggers club which protested at just about everything after church every Sunday - but he became more popular than any jock, nerd and hippie in the hood, and it was really, really funny.
Taeyeon Kim - aka TK - he is your normal teenage boy who can easily rearrange a Rubix cube back to its original state within 45 seconds and that is, if he is a nervous wreck.
His best record is 30 seconds, but he isn’t a genius or anything. He’s just good with angular perception and all the terms you learn if you give a hoot about architectural designs and stuff.
Above all, he totally wrecks amazing Hell whenever he dances.
Back then, he hung out with the school’s coolest b-boys and fly girls, killed dance floors with them - and Henry quickly became a fan of his.
A ninja fan though, one who would come to watch TK whenever he performed somewhere because TK's mad, spastic feet swept Henry off his two left ones.
Okay I'll stop the third-party talking thing. Sorry. Anyway!
And then there I was, in Brent’s team as a small forward - and the first thing I did was almost taking TK’s bloody teeth out in a friendly match of basketball.
Because Hell, if there was anyone who wouldn’t the Hell give up his defence, even if you freakin’ paid him to, then I’m talking about the right person here.
It was an accident though; how my damned elbow met his chin - and he didn’t lose his teeth in the end, so we became friends over some good ol’ tacos and upsized Mountain Dews after that.
I don’t mean to sound corny or anything but since then Brent, TK and I, we began chilling out more and more - and kind of developed the same idea that we don’t really have many other friends that we wanted to hang out with after school everyday.
Like Brent, I can tell TK everything, anything - and the two of them are really the kind of guys who will always tell me that whenever life gives me lemons, I'll just have to make lemonade.
And then I can maybe sell it, so we can all go to a movie marathon uptown if something like that is even possible now.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway.
Then I decided to follow the general trend and become cool, too.
I dropped classical violin, took up an electric one - and TK turned me into a very happy, moon-walking wobbling human Jell-o by teaching me how to pop.
We formed a duo, created Boogaloo popping, joined contests, performed in festivals and even turned into buskers at train and bus stations - because we had a motto, and a grand mission.
“The FOB dorks will inherit the universe.”
My days as the great Gojira Hambaga officially began - until one day, SM Entertainment held that audition that totally changed my life, in which TK and Brent were generally responsible for pushing me into it.
And in case you’re wondering, TK didn’t audition for it at all - because for him, dancing wasn’t really the world. Architectural design was, so he was going to go to University for it.
What about Captain Kingston, you ask?
Him?
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Sorry.
Brent’s a karaoke fanatic though - and that’s just about it. Brent is actually a nerd who likes Math when everyone hates it, but he’s a very cool nerd. He’d shoot me for revealing this but yeah, whatever.
Anyway.
That particular night, I jolly well made my best friend stand outside the door of my apartment for a good three minutes before I finally let him in.
“TK!”
If you guys had seen Alice in Wonderland, Taeyeon Kim looked exactly like the merry Cheshire cat right then - with the huge ass grin right up to the crazy mass of anti-gravity hair on his head.
And he said, “Dude, it’s a fuckin’ five degrees out here-”
“You’re not real.”
Well…because of the extreme shock that surged into me the second I opened the door to see a smiling Taeyeon Kim standing there - in Bei-freakin’-Jing, Chi-freakin’-na - I ended up slamming the door right back in his face.
At a grand total of nine times, too.
And I even called him a freakin’ demon, because I seriously believed he really was one.
Why a demon above anything else, I don’t the Hell know too. In shock, couldn’t think straight and I have been watching too much of that Supernatural drama lately - so go figure, I guess.
Anyway.
According to TK, he was only in China because he was following the University’s youth service group in their three-week volunteering programme to help an area in Sichuan rebuild their lives from the recent earthquake, and at the same time learn a thing or two about Chinese culture.
However, according to me, TK just jolly well just skived two days’ of official itinerary just to come and see me in Beijing - and he was definitely going to get his ass roasted and deported out of Asia for it.
But of course, TK argued that he wouldn’t mind getting himself into trouble once in a while - and that the team was actually the kindest bunch of kids that you’d really ask God to bless and have eternal mercy on their souls.
Then I started laughing, like, hard.
Like, since when the Hell was TK ever an enthusiast in working for free?
I guess Brent wasn’t kidding when he told me that my cool cat mentor has developed mad love for humanitarianism - and is slowly but surely turning into a Tony Stark.
Here lies Taeyeon Kim - most definitely the second WTFH of the universe.
But yeah, I decided to not question him anymore because I was happy to see him and stuff, and the bastard really brought ice cream soda and all the midnight junk you can think of - and we basically started chilling out in the living room talking about nonsense (to make a really long story short really) while randomly channel surfing…
Boy, it was as if we were back in good ol' Toronto, probably in Kingston's garage slacking as couch potatoes in that beat up sofa of his - and I was this close to telling him how much I missed him and Brent like some goddamn love sick girl when he suddenly yelped.
“AH!”
We were actually looking for any reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, Christ, but of course we ended up stumbling into something else.
“Now I remember what I’ve always wanted to do with you, Henry!”
And that was when TK started becoming all giddy and excited and gay and Jesus, I’ve never seen him twitter like a Choi Gabriel Shiwon would when he saw his ideal Armani suit on display or something.
Look, I seriously do not mind doing crazy stuff just for the Hell of it.
But what TK was asking for was a little too much for me to handle, and I just had to freak out.
We’re almost the same height and build, but he towered over me like goddamn leaning tower of Pisa. I can bet you shi-freakin'-yuan it was the hair that made him an inch taller, but yeah I guess what made the most difference was the fact that I was sitting down in the couch and he was literally hovering over me.
And then you can picture me gawking at him before yelping, “No freakin’ way!”
TK gave me the kind of look a mother would give to a superbly annoying kid who wouldn’t to Hell and back touch his damned plate of steamed veggies.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never done this before…because I don’t believe you.”
I shook my head vigorously. I seriously wasn’t in the mood for this at all, Jesus, I really wasn’t.
"Do you know that this is, by far, the most disgusting thing you've ever asked me to do!?"
“Are you serious?" TK’s bushy eyebrows came together to the middle of his face.
“Wait...Aren’t you with Sungmin?”
“What? Yeah but...We’ve never done it before.”
I jolly well just sent thunderbolts right into him and cooked his insides to medium rare.
“What?! You mean after all this while you didn’t even try to attempt this?”
“Well I ever thought about it…but Hell no I would let him teach me that!”
“It’s not like you can teach him, Henry. In this department, he’ll own you anytime, man. Has he ever forced you to it, then?”
"No. Because he knows what respecting my decision means - unlike you!"
"How are you going to like it if you've never tried?"
TK clucked his tongue before stretching his hands out to grab mine - but I bloody well jumped a triquantumbagajillion miles away from him, almost falling off the couch in the process.
“Why the Hell not? He’s probably the best when it comes to this kind of…thing. I mean, dude, don’t get me wrong but I think he really has the ass for it - you should totally fall into his submission or something.”
Perhaps I didn’t sneer hard enough because TK actually found humour at the sight of my lips twisting into an angered frown the more he continued talking about my Sungmin like that.
And yet he innocently looked at me and damned well asked, “What?”
“It’s freakin’ embarrassing, damn it. And stop talking about his ass.”
“You’re telling me you’re embarrassed when you’re around me? Dude, since when?”
“It’s not that. It’s just…so wrong! You’re like my best friend, TK. I can’t just do it with you.”
"Why?" The Cheshire cat grin returned to his face. “You’re worried I might tell?”
“No. I’m worried you might start recording us doing it on your stupid phone and then upload it on your goddamn YouTube account!”
“Damn.”
“You're just predictable like that.”
“Okay how about I record it, but I won’t upload it on YT, since you’re an idol and all that and you’ve got major idol image issues to maintain...and you’re not supposed to be gay and all…”
“Hey, don’t make it sound like it’s a disease, will ya?”
“Sorry. But come on, man. Just this one time, you and I. You know you want to, Henry. I know you want to. You’ve been dreaming of it, I’m sure you ever did.”
Bloody Hell, this guy.
“Give me one good reason why I should do this - and with you of all people!”
“Because it will be your first time, and what better way to do it then with someone you are very, very familiar with? Like me! I can like, do a grading to whether or not you’re good - or just plain lousy at it.”
“But the point here is I don’t want to…this…this is RIDICULOUS, TK!”
“Everyone’s doing it, and you’re like the last male on Earth who hasn’t. Hell, even BRENT’s done it, okay?”
My eyeballs sprang out of my sockets at that, like, in a boing, boing, boing kind of way.
“Kingston did it!?”
“Totally, and he’s been scoring with the chicks lately, too. It’s the skills, Henry. Your precious cheeks are going to sag one day, and you won’t have anything to win the ladies over!”
What the Hell, this guy? That totally had nothing to do with what he was forcing me into!
Aiya!
“Plus, there’s only you and me in this house - just the two of us. We should really do it when we have the time...Do you want the rest to catch you doing it with me right here? I don’t think so, yanno?”
Fine, Christ!
I frowned when he came over, slipped his arm across my back, around my waist and I let him pull me up to my feet - before allowing him to happily position me in front of him.
“Just this once, Henry - you’ll like it, I promise. And when you found your rhythm after the first try, we can do it over and over again. Bend your legs a little more and straighten your back.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to do this with you. Argh!”
He snorted, before kicking my legs wider apart. I almost toppled over my spine, Christ.
“You’ll want more after this. Maybe it’ll turn dangerously addictive, and you’ll do it the first thing you get up in the morning, and before you go to bed. Every day, with Sungmin. And maybe with Ryeowook too!”
“Yeah!” I rolled my eyes at him. “Or maybe…with the entire of Super Junior!”
“And the more we get together, the merrier we’ll be!”
“Whatever.”
“Ready? I've got the song in here so...”
The scowl on my face deepened, but obviously TK was already too excited in fishing out his cell phone before placing it on the coffee table we moved to the side - and pressing the play button to the mp3 function.
The song that I would come to dread so much listening to one day started playing.
I want nobody, nobody but you…
And in front of me, TK the twittering sparrow of a fan boy went…CLAP, CLAP! CLAP, CLAP!
Nobody, nobody but you…
CLAP, CLAP! CLAP, CLAP!
And then he saw me groaning in my displeasure and went, “Come on, Henry. The steps are really easy. First you put your hands out like this…Then you bring it up like this...”
Nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo...
I want nobody, nobody...nobody, nobody...
I know, right.
Who would have thought that TK actually knew how to dance to the Wondergirls, really?
But then again, which Korean can't dance to them anyway?
And that TK actually got me to dance along to it with him?
Damn. If we hadn't stumbled into that short advertisement about their music video earlier...
I want nobody, nobody but you...
Next to me, he barked, "Why aren’t you clapping?! You missed the cue again!”
Aiya.
Oh, and by the way…
If your mind is dirty and you know it, clap your hands?
*Leeteuk laugh*
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
TK told me he was going to go to Taiwan the next day, just for a couple of hours before he returns to his crew.
I asked him why, and get this.
"Because Taiwan is Taiwan-DERFUL!"
Kim Yeh Sung's cold jokes ate his brains, too.
Anyway.
Super Jumper M was stuck in a traffic jam in a busy street of a Chinese downtown when I looked out the Audi’s window we were riding in - and found my jaw dropping at the sight of a nearby bus stop.
Then I frantically fished out my cell phone from the pocket of my (expensive than my own house bill back in Canada) blazer, and snapped a picture of it.
Cho KyuHyun would have thought that I must have drank too much of that soy bean milkshake Ryeowook made for breakfast this morning if I hadn’t stopped getting too excited by myself to calmly tell him what the Hell I was suddenly bouncing in my seat for.
"Look! Look!”
His silent and still aura since the start of our journey to the Cosmopolitan Beauty Awards broke to follow the direction to where my finger was pointing at outside.
“Ah…” KyuHyun went, blinking at what he thought I was referring to.
“A…bus station?”
“What? No! Not that! That one!”
Christ, I was close to breaking the damn glass when I started punching at it. Aslan Seunghwan-sshi told me to stop it, of course, because he was trying to talk on the phone.
But I just couldn’t. I was goddamn excited as Hell all over again but neither my manager nor KyuHyun was feeling my strings because one was kind of blind, while the other was checking on our next schedule (he's forever doing this. Maybe it's his hobby or something).
Still staring at the object, KyuHyun deadpanned, “You don’t have bus stops in Canada or what?”
I stupidly began to wonder all over again if he just loves getting on my nerves since he is sadistically sarcastic most of the time - especially to me.
“Hyung,” I turned to him, not amused. Perhaps he really should have let the stylist pull the hair off his black, black, black eyes a bit - so that he could bloody well see.
“Behind the bus stop. BEHIND IT! A0 size!”
My Semir model poster, it was my first time seeing it with my own eyes.
I know it’s probably been months since they put the damn thing up in public, but it’s not like I get to go out on my own all the time.
“That’s me!” I grinned, returning to taking another picture of it. I zoomed in, Christ I really did, by 60% too.
Oh, you are so gorgeous!
Imagine that. I'm my own fan boy - so full of myself, no fake.
“Ooooh…that,” KyuHyun said in that dawning of realization tone, finally getting it when he saw it too.
And then he kind of killed me with a smirk that came as a flat, “That’s a really nice watch you have there.”
Wei!
What about the person modelling it?
But of course he continued to ask, “So which model were you posing for that day?”
Seriously, this guy.
“I have no idea, hyung,” I replied, deadpanning at him in my obvious annoyance.
He started laughing at my unhappy reaction like his team just won the World Cup or something.
“Yah, Henli! You’ve been an idol for almost a year and you get excited over little things like that?”
I felt like scowling at him and going, “well forgive me for never thinking that I would have this non-idol material face of mine to get blown up to a size bigger than a goddamn train ticket, hyungie ah.”
But of course I didn’t tell him that - because I really am a nice guy like that.
“I guess I still need a little more getting used to this kind of lifestyle, hyung.”
“Yes - and even when you do, don’t let fame into your head, Henli-sshi - young idols like us usually get shot down faster when we’re full of ourselves.”
Okay.
I really couldn’t tell if he just gave me an advice, or just mocked me for flailing at my own poster earlier.
Anyway.
Eventually, we got out of the jam and arrived at the foot of the red carpet to the show - with camera light bulbs going off like bright fireworks in the skies the second we stepped out of our cars.
“IT’S SUPER JUNIOR M!”
I think I’m lucky that I have small eyes - I don’t the Hell know how Donghae stands it. His pupils must have developed an invisible shield or something, because mine will sort of sting a little after events like this.
“Mimi!” KyuHyun called out as Zhou Mi walked past our Audi (we came in two cars), grabbing him by the elbow and pulling the walking lamp post to his side.
“Donghae hyung says I look like a fuwuyuan,” KyuHyun was saying in his halting Mandarin. “He’s too much!”
Nowadays, I keep thinking that the world is ending very, very soon.
I mean, did the resident snark just whine at Zhou Mi?
Anyway, KyuHyun’s Chinese is not really that bad, really. I foresee that he’s going to kick my ass soon, and go over to Choi Gabriel Shiwon’s team.
The ‘our Chinese is Hella better than Henry’s and to think he’s Chinese’ team.
“What?” Zhou Mi laughed. “You don’t look like a waiter at all! You look just like you do all the time.”
In case you want to know, Zhou Mi’s been absorbing Korean like a freakin’ sponge to spilled punch lately - so he pretty much speaks less Mandarin when the cameras are off nowadays, just to practice.
He speaks Korean to our leader too, which is kind of funny since they’re both Chinese.
Super Junior M’s smashing language rendezvous, alright.
But yeah, aiya!
Why can’t everyone in this world just speak English?
“Really?” The Korean slipped back into his mother tongue. “How do I look all the time, Mimi ah?”
“You look very handsome.”
You get someone like the DraKyuHyun going from (=.=) to (^_^) to (^o^), and…
I think we’ve found our third WTFH of the universe already, no?
“Because I’m wearing a tie - and you’re wearing a tie too!”
“So?”
“Don’t you know? Better looking people wear ties. Shiwonnie hyung is wearing a tie. See?”
Just so you know, Ryeowook and I, we were wearing bow ties for the event. Donghae wore a neck scarf.
So…‘Better looking people wear ties’, huh?
YAH!
What kind of wardrobe discrimination is this, KyuHyun ah?!
And to think I used to be able to live looking like goddamn Hobbit, I swear.
The vain airhead I’m turning into nowadays. Sorry, mom. Sorry, God but Versace ate my brains.
Next we were escorted to posing for the cameras in front of the great wall of Cosmopolitan.
“Ryeowook hyung?” I called when we got into our usual group pose positions, but I was surprised when I didn’t see my love fighter sensei next to me when I turned my head over my shoulder.
Instead he was way over at the other end of where I was standing at - with KyuHyun next to him.
Wow. So he’s really, really, really bravely going forward, huh?
Boy, suddenly I felt like it was kind of weird not having Ryeowook around me.
I mean, he usually babies me in almost every thing I do - and my Ryeowoo-kiyeowor umma kills me sometimes, but you know I hardly mind. I love the attention, really.
But nowadays he splits his undivided attention juggling magnaes - and it was alright until it became like 30% Henry time and 70% KyuHyun time after a while.
No, I’m not jealous.
Okay.
Maybe just a teensy weensy bit.
Well, at least I’ve Donghae to play with. My Pigs R Us partner for life, he really is.
Speaking of Donghae, I was pretty sure that I fed my little Dong Hais before we went out that night.
Did I?
Yeah. I did…
I think.
…
Yeah okay, you did Henry.
Now just smile and wave - and smile and wave!
Anyway.
I was checking on TK’s YouTube account later that same night after returning from the award show - to see if he actually uploaded the stupid video of us dancing to the Wondergirls when Choi Gabriel Shiwon walked into my room.
And he went,” Henli ah, can you lend me your colour markers for a second?”
“Uh…sure,” I nodded, getting off my bed to head for my cupboard where I keep all my nonsense in.
Yeah, well. I know I can’t draw even if anyone voodoo-ed my limbs with black magic, but I do carry around things like that for the Hell of it. I mean, I used to vandalize Zhou Mi’s calendar with it during our pre-debut days…and not to mention showing off my geometric drawings to people in a ‘Guess What Henry Just Drew’ game.
I pulled out the blue pouch and handed it to him.
He took it with a brief ‘thanks!’ before literally jogging out to head back to his room.
“Hyung,” I called out, catching up with him before he could close the door on me. “Are you drawing?”
“Oh, I’m not drawing anything,” Shiwon said, smiling innocently at me.
His laptop was open on his bed, and I bet you he was randomly surfing into fan sites to check out on stuff.
In case you don’t know, other than Zhou Mi, Shiwon usually brings up the rumours he sees or hears to our group meetings - so that we can learn a thing or two about it and maybe try to clear off some of horrible ones when we get on air.
I know, right.
Like father, like son - like Choi, like Zhou!
He told me, “I’m just going to make a sign.”
“A sign?”
“Yes. And I’m going to put that sign up at the front door of this house!”
I stopped myself from asking if he was going to put up something from the Bible and went, “What sign, hyung ah?”
“Later, okay?”
I decided to wait for later and was entering my room when Donghae jumped me from out of nowhere.
“HENLI!”
“CHRIST!” I screamed at the hard plant of his hands on my shoulders. “Hyung! You scared me!”
Donghae didn’t smile or laugh at my jump - but instead, he gave a creepy, dead stare.
“Hyung-“
Then his fingers started to curl into the fabric of my shirt, and his sharp nails digging into my flesh.
Then he whispered, “I’m dead, Henli ah…”
Huh?
“…You killed me!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
Thirty seconds later, I found myself standing accused of first degree manslaughter.
“Look at what you’ve done!”
I understand that his loving fans call him ‘Fishie’ because while Kangin is Korea’s number one raccoon, Lee Donghae really looks like Ariel’s best friend in Disney’s the Little Mermaid.
The East Sea, that’s what his name means in his mother tongue.
So I guess he felt somewhat attached to my new pets the second he saw them in those crazy jars on my table in my room after returning to China from Korea a few days ago.
Make it pet now - because one of the two fighting fishes Zhou Mi got for me as birthday presents died.
“You forgot to feed it!” Donghae roared, shoving the mayonnaise jar with the dead fish inside to my face.
I stared at the tiny, dead eyes looking straight back into mine.
Oh my God.
“Henli ah, you cannot fool people with your Mojji cheeks anymore...You’re a murderer!”
I actually killed a Dong Hai.
Because I swear I totally forgot about them - but luckily, one survived and it’s the more temperamental one that did.
I think if both had died from starvation, Donghae would have jolly well get Shiwon to throw me out of the bloody windows, if not stone me to death for such an inhumane act.
And then Zhou Mi would run me down with a crazy lawnmower…
And KyuHyun would stand on the porch, laughing his ass off.
Aiya!
“What’s going on?”
We turned around to see Han Geng walking into my room in those handsome, handsome strides of his.
“Hyung!” Donghae went, brightening up at the sight of our leader.
“You’re back. Where did you go? You didn’t join us at the awards show today. We felt weird performing without you, hyung ah.”
“Filming for the drama, what else?” He answered, before raising his eyebrows at the jar in Donghae’s hand.
“Goodness…Is it dead?”
“Henli killed it.”
Han Geng gasped, in a dramatic as Hell manner. Hand flying to the mouth, that kind.
“I just forgot to feed it!” I yelped in self-defence. “It’s not like I want it to die, Donghae hyung ah.”
“I’m so sad!” Donghae pouted at the dead fish in his hands, sulking horribly as he turned for the door.
“I’m going to go bury myself in the backyard now. See you later.”
Han Geng and I, we were actually trying very hard to not laugh at his choice of words right then - so we waited until he was out of earshot before bursting into snorts of guffaws.
“Maybe we should…accompany him or something - or he will never let us all sleep peeacefully,” Han Geng went, his sensitivity debuting faster than mine.
Then he went, “Do you know what celebrities like us are not supposed to have, Henli ah?”
“Uhm…Pets?”
“You can’t even take care of yourself properly, and you want to take care of another life? It’s rather impossible, really,” he continued, shaking his head at such ideas.
“I used to have a pet dog called RongRong. But I had to give it up because I’ve no time for it!”
“Heechul hyung still has Heebum.”
“That’s because he can take care of it, despite his busy schedule. Look at us jetting back and forth from one country to another…It’s a lot tougher than it looks like sometimes, isn’t it?”
Well it wasn’t like I wanted little Dong Hais in the first place anyway. It was Zhou Mi's smashing idea to give me Dong Hais as birthday presents!
Maybe I should put the other fish up for an e-bay auction or something.
Item name: Super Junior M’s Henry Lau’s temperamental official pet fish.
Autographed mayo jar with authentic signature included!
Bidding starts at USD1000.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Kidding, kidding!
I’ll probably just give it away to a lucky fan the next time some crazy TV station barges into our apartment and starts nicking our things…
We were grabbing our jackets when Shiwon came out of his room and strode right past us with a very serious look on his face - before stopping at the front door of the house.
And then he slapped a paper on the polished wood, and started going bam, bam, BAM!
I realized that he was done with the sign making - but totally didn't get it why he was putting it up in a violent manner.
“Hyung!” Han Geng blinked as we rushed over to the Bionic man’s side after he was done banging on the poor, poor, innocent door.
I mean, I’ve never felt so sorry for inanimate objects before, Christ.
“What is that? What are you doing?”
Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he’s the type of nice guy who never wants you to think that he is angry at anything - but he would like you to think that he is just ‘extremely displeased’ with something.
With two giant palms still covering the sign he made as if he was going to make the grandest revelation in the history of mankind soon, Shiwon’s eyebrows rose higher up his forehead at our leader.
“Hyung ah. I’d like to ask you that question too,” he said, smiling and smirking at the same time.
“Hm?” Han Geng shot me a questioning glance before turning back to the other.
“Alright...What question, Shiwonnie?”
And Shiwon went, “Do you know what celebrities like us are not supposed to have?”
Okay.
As usual, I must have missed something MAJOR here...Because Han Geng seemed to know what the Hell the other guy was going on about judging from the way his eyes sparked, and I was that clueless little gold Dong Hai all over again.
"Oh, and just so you know, Heechul hyung knows about it too!"
Shiwon continued, and he was talking in this really weird sing-song tone that you only hear in horror movies where children's singing usually creep the living Jesus out of you.
"Really?" Han Geng was surprised, but in a very unpleasant way.
"Then...What did he say?"
Our Choi Gabriel Shiwon, you can really count on him to make something that is really bad sound not so bad after all with his better choice of words and his more tactful way of approaching anything.
However, he had to disappoint us that night - because he really fails at lying you see.
So he answered our leader with a flat, "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
Nothing?
Nothing to what?
"Yeah." Shiwon nodded. "Heechul hyung said nothing about it."
Han Geng kind of paled at that.
And then he said, "Oh, crap."
I tried raking my mind a little bit, but I guess I didn’t really have to when Shiwon took off his hands from the paper just pasted on the front door of Super Junior M’s apartment right then.
Han Geng totally fails in English, but any idiot would be able to understand what the resident Bionic man just wrote in threateningly huge, red letters.
It said:
SORRY, NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!
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Read the rest here
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*FOB : Fresh off the boat - the sociology of ethnicity, this term can be seen as an indicator of a nature of diasporic communities, or communities that have left their country of origin and have migrated, usually permanently, to another country. The term also has been adapted by immigrants themselves or others in their community who instead see the differentiation as a source of pride, where they have retained their culture and have not lost it to assimilation. In some instances, people who have assimilated or acclimated into their host country still identify themselves as an FOB to show they have not assimilated completely.
Yeah...just so u know LOL.
LOL i just like the HenHae XD
Yes, Mimi. SJM is shipjeom man jongae shipjeom (10 POINTS OUTTA 10)!!!
credits to SJM thread@Soompi
I realize that Muse is like a goddamn oreo cookie nowadays...
Anyway, apologies for the late post. Hope ya'll like it. Till next one ;)