Entry # 39 : Yo, what's up?
Entry #39 : Yo, what's up?
Featuring : Zhou Mi, Shiwon, Donghae, Kangin, Eunhyuk, Brent Kingston and...Amber F(x). :D
Hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging off the edge of your seat?
Henry Lau - Return of the Jedi pirate.
Yes, this is a ‘come back’ entry.
Basically means I own the following nonsense you will be reading.
*Leeteuk laugh*
I am back and I am bored - therefore I shall ramble instead of learning to write in Chinese.
Brent Kingston, he taught me a lot of things that I didn’t know when we were kids.
Stuff like, ‘Carrots are good for your eyes, though they’re not exactly nature’s equivalent to lasik surgery!’…
Wait, no, he didn’t say that.
I said that, because believe it or not I’m actually ‘junking’ on friggin’ carrot sticks .
And here’s the part where we get the *stunned silence*.
What?
So I listen to the resident Aslan and his SIIDP nonsense (remember that? Seunghwan’s Ideal Idol Diet Programme aka WTFH Total Failure From the Start because Super Junior M are animals) instead of the Choi Gabriel Shiwon.
He calls it Seunghwan’s Ideal Idiot Programme by the way, but big deal, really.
Uhm, yeah. I guess I’ve been gone that long for you guys to remember anything right now huh?
Livejournal states that my last post was 30 weeks ago.
That’s like 7.5 months.
No I’m not smashing smart with Math. I used a calculator.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Anyway.
Honestly, though - “When you’re an idol, the weighing machine will always be your friend”?
Can you forget that? I don’t think so.
It has more epic worth than whatever Mahatma Ghandi ever said in his lifetime, I swear on anything Shiwon can be that snazzy health boom, boom, boom he is - no matter what he eats.
Well. Not everyone is a Choi Shiwon, right?
Yeah, anyway, Jesus Christ. I have no freakin’ idea why I’m still on rabbit food too nowadays.
Okay, stop. I don’t want to think too much about this. Where was I?
Ah yes, Kingston.
Things like, “the “white version of broccoli” is cauliflower, Henry. Any idiot knows that!”
Brent Kingston had never once failed to embarrass me in the middle of a grocery store like that. And I learn things like this, like, in a twisted kind of manner you know?
Come to think of it, he is sort of like my third, no forth parent …
…which I really don’t want to continue talking about because I realize that it actually sounds freakishly wrong in so many ways now so, yes, ANYWAY!
My best friend since the settlement of the Crayola empire. (Those were really good times, the kindergarten years) He only officially became my walking Wikipedia when we stopped being snotty brats and grew to become closer friends in junior high school.
And his source of information was himself, his own thinking, his own ideologies.
He taught me things like the grass is always greener on the other side - only because it’s chemically enhanced, like everything that looks absurdly fresh in this world right now.
Brent Kingston is such an awesome smart-ass you would like your mother to meet.
He also said that miracle waters make your face look like bloody Lord Voldermort - because they have porcelain perfect people like Sammi Cheng to endorse them.
The hippie who wanted to hug trees and play with firecrackers at the same time, the devil without a cause simply because - Brent Kingston isn’t exactly the best role model in my life, but he’s always been something like that.
It was 3 am on a cold, cold, super cold Wednesday morning when my cell phone rang and woke up the entire of Seoul with Wondergirls’ Nobody.
I know, even the haters loved Gee and they went pass that point of re-hating it - but it’s not like I’m bothered by updating myself with anything in the music biz when I’m barely breathing properly in my own schedule.
The Intensive Mandarin lessons I’m taking nowadays, I swear on anything, is difficult as a motherf-
“Hello? Yoboseyo? Moshi moshi? Wei?”
The smashing multi-linguist I’ve become, you’ve got to be proud of me for the way I roll nowadays, man.
I mean, at least everyone in my family tree does anyway.
He responded with a familiar, “Hey~ Don’t bring me down~”
Here’s something you can ponder your thoughts on: Who is NOT a Dong Bang Shin Ki fan in this planet?
*Leeteuk laugh*
“Hey Kingston!”
Of course, he deadpanned at that. He deadpans at almost everything I do - pre and post idol status.
Well, I guess that’s one of the things that keep my idol ego at ‘standard size’.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Ah, I bet you missed my Leeteuk laugh so, so much…
“Wrong, Henry.”
Brent Kingston is just the awesome smart-ass deadpanner you would like your entire family to meet!
Over the other end of the line that telephonically connected Korea and Ontario despite time, space and continuum difference (the clarity of network services never fails to give me homesickness, other than the paranoid thought that my mom is actually living under my bed), Brent went, “It’s Britney, bitch.”
Now having heard him pulling off something like that makes me think along the lines of my dork god Kim Yeh Sung and Onew with his terrible ‘condition’.
Yeah. There’s no stopping them, really.
Brent Kingston is my best friend and the funniest failure ever to walk on the face of the god-blessed universe - but you’d still take him to meet your parents simply because.
Okay I realized that instead of apologizing for ‘dropping off the face of the planet’ and abandoning this blog, I go on and on about my best friend.
Why?
Because I miss him and when I miss him I miss my parents, and when I miss my parents I miss my brother Bill Clinton, and when I start missing Clint that basically means I miss my friends and Ontario and Canada and English language and…
Yes.
I was in a pretty funky mood because it had been raining the entire day and all.
Korea’s rain makes me go emo-unstable on every damn thing, Christ.
Like, carrot sticks. Five seconds before I was enjoying it. Five seconds later I was like…WTF?
The air smelt refreshing and clean and freezing, but unfortunately the internet connection kept dying on me so I couldn’t really watch Hannah Montana the Movie in streaming peace...
What?
Disney chicks are the in thing now - they multiply like those little jelly balls you put in water…water babies or something like that? Boom, boom, boom…you can’t stop it at all.
Pretty funky things, these water babies. I had a bottle of blue ones but of course 10 minutes after purchasing them from Ahjummanie...I didn’t know what the Hell I was supposed to do with it.
So I gave it to Taemin. For good luck, I said.
I even tied a ribbon around the bottle’s neck - the shade of blue that Shinee’s fan club colour is supposed to be.
In which, until today, is still the topic of a very heated debate to what kind of blue it is.
Oh well. And Taemin, he didn’t think I was making much sense (he said ‘blue jelly…balls?’) but he took them anyway because he’s adorably nice like that.
Seriously…Whose son is this?
Okay, now I miss Taemin.
We haven’t been hanging out for a while - he’s really that damn busy diving and basking and indulging in his group’s new mature/sexy image, which totally does not fit him because he’s as adorable as freakin’ Stitch.
I mean, come on, whose son is this really?!
Gone are the sweetie-pie bowl haircut days and in with the…dead insects hairclips (Don’t try to reason with me, we all know they were once flying - alive, gay and happy)…multi-tasking all that fame boom, boom, boom with the occasional Math/Chemistry/basically educational Hell once the lights, camera, action schedules end.
Ah~!
Lifestyle of the too young and the too famous…
I’m so jealous.
*Leeteuk laugh*
So will a simple apology to all of you be okay?
Have mercy on my awesome hair and handsome manicure and MAC lip gloss.
Good, I love you all too.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway, Hey, I have every bit to complain about my life at the moment, alright?
While Taemin is (more or less) happily ‘air swimming’ (Kangin will never live that down, still with his fascination with that certain dance move in SHINee’s first single) in his popularity’s waves, I’m freakin’ stuck with learning languages in classrooms that take ages for me to find.
If you must know, SM Entertainment’s building may look like every other building in Seoul - but it’s actually a god damned ant farm. I bet you even the staff who have worked here for yonks still get confused once in a while, mainly because the departments move things around a lot to make space for the future’s god knows what.
Usually, I have trouble finding Korean / Mandarin classes and yeah, okay, sometimes I get lost on purpose - simply because it’s a universal consensus that studio atmosphere owns boring Chinese intonation lessons, like, du-du-duuuuuuuuuuh they do?
On the other line, Brent went, “So how’s life?”
As if he didn’t know what my life is like nowadays. What a bastard.
So I said, “The usual. Practice, Mando, practice, Korean…yours?”
As if I didn’t know what his life is like nowadays. I’m such a bastard too at times.
And he said, “Lecture, job, lecture, job. Movies, hot pot, barbeque gatherings…you know. The usual.”
Movies. BBQ. The usual.
Lifestyle of the non SM idol.
Seriously, he could have just lied that his life was as boring as a god damn cherry tree just to be sensitive.
The demanding idol I’ve become. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, God.
Meh.
“I hate you so much right now, Kingston.”
“How can you say that to your original biggest fan, Henry?”
Meh.
“I’m learning how to write ‘she sells sea shells by the seashore’ in traditional Chinese, man.”
“You’re excused for being cranky.”
Meet my best friend Brent Kingston - the boom, boom, boom of my overall mental balance.
You know I can’t smile without you~ can’t smillllllllllle withooooooout you~
Jesus. You try writing anything in Chinese and the only thing you will get after writing about a quantumabagajillion strokes in triquantumbajillion angles is “she sells…”.
Two characters down…just twenty thousand more to go.
MAJOR MEH!!!
Brent decided to get off the phone when nothing we were talking about was doing any uplifting to my mood (male PMS, I swear to Christ), and as soon as I was done with constructing the final sentence (‘I do not want to sit next to Donghae in our flights to anywhere anymore.’ I made that up because I felt like it) in the sentence writing section, I went out of my room thinking I should go make hot tea or something to kill off the freeze of the night.
At 3 am plus, my left brain was numb - so I was officially, slowly and painfully evolving into a non-creative.
The horror of it all, really - I needed to get out of it before I turn into a carrot stick, Christ.
Meh, meh…MEH.
I was heading for the kitchen when the front door opened with a small beep.
“Ah Hen ah~!!!”
Aish.
How many times must I freakin’ tell you: DO NOT CALL ME AH-
“So, are you done with your homework yet?”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
Everyone loves Zhou Mi.
Every single one in SM Entertainment does, I’m not exaggerating; I can swear on anything at all.
Zhou Mi is one of those rare, always happy and gay butterflies (besides SHInee’s Key) in SM, the resident care bear in my dorm, and one of the super moms (besides Ryeowook, Leeteuk) in Super Junior and SujuMan(darin).
Without even putting his shopping bags down first or anything, he asked me, “Did you translate the sentences like I told you to?”
He’s officially Kim Heechul’s ‘seasoning’ - which we all don’t want to know what that really means. Let’s just say he managed to avoid Heechul during last year’s Super Junior Super Show…in which the ‘Queen’ went on a kissing rampage and spared none of his favorites (Shiwon finished my Listerine).
He’s really that kind of guy who is likeable as Hell even when your initial conversation with him was about something as god damn boring as the weather. …Or the mountains.
Like good ol’ Seoul has any freakin’ mountains to talk about in the first place.
Without even taking his shoes off, he asked me, “Was it difficult?”
If Zhou Mi had a theme song to his life, it would be the everlasting gay song of:You know I can’t smile without you~ caaaaaaaan’t smile withouuuuuuuuut you~
In press reports and magazine interviews, our Zhou Mi is often depicted as the eternal sunshine with a witty mind with his towering figure, bright eyes, contagious smile and his celebrated, handsome Peking Opera manners.
Give him the microphone and he will say things that you will want to hear - and you won’t even know if he was being discreetly sarcastic about anything.
Without even asking me if I was hungry or anything, (it was 3 am plus, but so what?) he said, “I gave you second level elementary Chinese Henli ah…by now you should be able to do it without any mistakes at all.”
If he was an employer at K-Mart, he’d win Employer of the Month for the entire 12 months in a year.
If he was an animal in the zoo, he’d be the Animal of the Month for the entire 12 months in a year.
Now listen.
What he wants you to believe is that his image is as sparkling as the god damn running lights over Nandaemun on a festive atmosphere.
Listen even more closely.
What you don’t know is that Zhou Mi is actually the Mandarin teacher from the fiery chasms of Hell.
I’m not kidding. Don’t believe me?
Ask Donghae, Shiwon.
Ask anyone who has gone through his educational torture and you will not be able to handle the truth about the member whom we have come to affectionately nickname Mimi.
They will testify with tears running down like goddamn river Nile, I swear.
Wait, no. Don’t ask Ryeowook and Kyuhyun though.
Those two will always, always be on Zhou Mi’s side. They love him to death.
Status : confirmed infected with Mimi’s aegyo skills!
And don’t ask Han Kyung of course - and that’s because he was the original teacher from Hell before he passed his throne and crown over to the Mimi.
Yes. You can never imagine any of this, right?
*Leeteuk laugh*
I waited for Zhou Mi to stop buzzing about like some kamikaze dragonfly around the small kitchen of our home before I answered him with a wearied, “Yeah, I’ve done all of it.”
“Good. I’ll check it after I shower, okay?”
Should I answer that?
No, I don’t think so. Don’t encourage him, Henry. Duh.
He still wanted to mark his papers even when it was close to four in the morning.
Psssssssssh.
Finally, after taking out a few things and putting them on the table, he asked me, “Henli ah…You hungry?”
I nodded though I wasn’t hungry at all. Something smelled really good from the plastic bag he was holding up, and it didn’t as Hell smell like vegetables.
“Aiyaaaaaa…You should’ve told me! I would have bought more of these for you!”
Zhou Mi kills me like that. I swear he’s rubbing off Kyuhyun in that UGH kind of sense lately - because they’re like new BFFs or something.
But yeah, whatever.
“What’s that?” I asked, crawling into one of the chairs around the counter as I peered into the bag.
“It’s cookies.”
COOKIES. OMG. I LOVE COOKIES! COOKIE MONSTER, ME!
Cookies are for the win - or FTW. Brent taught me that, yeah.
“YAY!!!!!” My fists pounded on the counter top instantly, like some god damn 8-year-old.
“Cookies!!!”
“You can have some-“
“I want!”
“Kyuhyun got it from this shop called Mrs Fields-“
“YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
“Aiya!” Zhou Mi rolled his eyes at me. “Henli ah, you’re acting like you’ve never eaten cookies before!”
I’ve been an idol for over a year here in Asia, and everyone still calls me Henli.
Oh well.
“Well I’ve been eating carrot sticks the entire time I was doing homework,” I said, not meaning it to sound like I was whining but of course it did come out as a whine of some sort.
“You’re joking.” He looked like he just saw an alien walked past him waving a Super Junior light stick.
“No I’m not!” I shook my head, taking the box of Heaven out. “I seriously ate all of it!”
“How can you be on such a diet? Aren’t you a pig?”
Oi!
“I’m not on any diet! I just couldn’t stop eating them.”
Jesus…Was it even necessary to toy with the terrible rumble in my stomach right then!?
JUST GIMME THE COOKIES!
RAR RAR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Can I have all of them, please?”
“No! Leave some for our managers. And me!”
RARRRRRRRRRRR RARR!!!!!
Look, I wasn’t raised to be a selfish bastard.
So I took out one cookie, put it on top of a coaster I swiped off the kitchen top and pushed it to him.
“This is yours!”
Okay so I learned to be a little selfish over the months…because hey, trust me, when it comes to food, it is simply just food > Starcraft = Life itself!
Of course, Zhou Mi was ready to murder me with his death stare he learned off KyuHyun.
RAR!!!
“Come on!” I grinned. “You can always ask your KyuHyun to go to Mrs Fields and buy you another box. “And…” I swear he growled at me. Scary. “So you’re just going to take all of it…and give one to me.”
“Give and take?”
“Sharing,” Zhou Mi huffed, raising an eyebrow at the cookies. “Is what being brothers is all about, right?”
Smart ass.
“So that means you’re going to share this box of cookies…and give them all to me, right?”
“You’re dreaming right?”
“Dreaming is good, right?”
“Keep on dreaming, right?”
“Aish…” I frowned. I was really god damn greedy all of a sudden. “Oh come on!”
“Look,” Zhou Mi said, looking at me with that annoyed (=.=) look he learned to master from the original Mr. (=.=) which is…come on, who else, really?
“KyuKyu bought this for me and I-”
“What?” I could have spat out my spleen if not my entire bowel system out of my nose.
“KyuKyu?”
“Err…” Zhou Mi flushed pink. It was so weird. “I mean KyuHyun-“
“What? What?” Too late. I got excited as hell already! “KyuKyu! What the heck is that?”
“It’s what I call him-”
“KyuKyu?”
Is that the smashing Henry-despising (he never hated me, he said. My ass.) vampire I used to be so paranoid of? The Dra…Dra…
Dra-KyuKyu.
*GOJIRA LEETEUK LAUGH*
“Why is he KyuKyu?” I laughed before taking a huge bite off a cookie. “How did it come to that?”
“Does it matter?”
“No, I’m curious. How is that a mean person’s name?”
“He’s not mean.”
My ass. He still is - because Cho KyuHyun’s hobbies are playing video games, eat black bean noodles and oh, bullying me for fun in which everyone can clearly see?
“Well he’s always on your side,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. “So he’s mean.”
“Oh,” Zhou Mi was ridiculed to Hell. “Are you saying I’m mean now?”
Quick!
What’s Bonnie and Clyde in Chinese?
“You’re a mean teacher,” I muttered, hunched over the cookies like god damned Smeagol. “Meanie lao shi. (teacher).”
“Wei,” Zhou Mi huffed, in that Peking Opera dramatic way of his. “Who said you can call me Mimi?”
What the…?
I said MEANIE not MIMI!
“Then…” But I guess I was interested in a pointless argument with the guy. I was bored to death, okay.
“Stop calling me “Ah Hen ah!”
“Your name is cute.”
My ass it is. “It’s not my name.”
“Ah Hen ah~”
“That’s not my name!”
“AH Hen ah~!”
Apparently he must be bored to death too.
“MIMI AHHHHHHHH!”
“Ah Hen-“
“Mi-“
And then, out of nowhere, Shiwon appeared. Like, POOF!!!!
I know, right! How the hell…?
“You two…” Shiwon growled, his awesome eyebrows knitting to an irritated knot in the middle of his forehead as he threw nasty glances back and forth between us.
We waited as he literally read the air above his head for a few seconds with his eyes.
Shh!
God works in mysterious ways - so you can say the rest of his little power rangers do the same thing.
Finally, he brandished a finger to the front door.
And the Gabriel barked out, ”NI ZHOU!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
No, that wasn’t the first time Choi Shiwon exploded and told us to ‘get out’ of the house with his amazing Beijing-man Chinese.
If you don’t know yet a lot of artists are actually posers, me included.
You think Shiwon is just born cool and will die cool as Hell - but, ha-ha, no?
Like, you see me on TV and all you think about is cute, spongy food stuff like mocha and tofu and red bean buns.
You see me in real life and all you think about is hot, handsome, pretty boy and he’s not that short!
You live with me for triquantumbagajillion years and you will randomly put HENRY LAU I’M GONNA KILL YOU on your facebook/twitter/whatever shout outs in some of those funky days.
You live with me in Korea and China for well over a year, and all you think about is…
Well, all you think about is…
Yeah.
It’s the same with Shiwon and everyone else at times too.
No comment.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Anyway, Shiwon kicked Zhou Mi out of his own room once - because the resident sunshine made him repeat some words in Mandarin like, 40 times over and it short-circuited Gabriel’s nerves.
See?
And now you know why we dread taking lessons from the Mimi.
I know, I know. It’s not his fault that the language speaks in 4 Peking Opera intonations or whatever.
We can’t kick Chinese out of our rooms - but we can kick an annoying Chinese teacher out, right?
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
“He threw you out of your own house?”
Lee Donghae, his eyes are naturally as huge as a goldfish’s - so it’s actually really freaky when they bulge out whenever he widens them further.
Of course he knows that - that’s why he enjoys doing it.
The annoying butterfly you’d want to slap to death, that’s Lee Donghae for you when he gets on your nerves. He really can, you know. He’d be violent to you in your seat on an airplane if he wants to - and it will be about things like gummy bears and stuff.
Yeah. We all love him that way too - ironically. What’s life without a Donghae?
Blub blub blub.
“Why is he in our house in the first place?” Zhou Mi asked, honestly surprised. He speaks better Korean now - maybe even better than our leader, and he’s been in Korea since like, forever.
Anyway!
I think that was an honest but stupid question though.
“HENLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! JOU MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”
And we found out why Shiwon was at our place instead of the HWAITING! dorm.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaa! HYAK HYAK!”
I think it was Eunhyuk who ran past me, almost knocking into Zhou Mi and Donghae ran off to join him.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SORRY! HYAK HYAK! RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
What the hell?!
“Hey!” Zhou Mi blinked at them, before looking at the floor. “Eh why is there water all over the-“
Three solid seconds later, I was on the ground with Sungmin on top of me.
“Ow!” I yelped, feeling the initial pain on my back spreading all over me now. “Sungminnie-“
Yeah, we’re still together.
Sorry KyuHyun X Sungmin fans. I’m still winning in this department.
*VICTORIOUS LEETEUK LAUGH*
And yeah, he’s still god damn violent like this. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve changed so much as his boyfriend now - but it’s not like I’m giving out any details.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
“Henli! Henli!” He pushed himself up, just to freakin’ sit on me. “RUN!”
Sure, like, how!?
“What?” Christ I think the floor broke, I swear it did. “Sungminnie, get off me…”
“HE’S COMING!” Sungmin squeaked, tossing his hair off his eyes as he jumped off me before trying to pull me up in a single haul of a grabbed forearm.
Amazing. I’m as light as a freakin’ feather!
Jesus.
I think I am on a freakin’ diet.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Five seconds later the ground beneath our feet rumbled, and then Kangin jumped into appearance.
He screamed, “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOJIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEELL?!
Sungmin grabbed Zhou Mi and his ‘WTF-is-going-on?!’ face and took off with him instantly, squealing like an excited piglet of some sort (aw, cute) - and next thing I knew it was raining indoors.
“HYUNG!” I shouted, being cornered to the couch trying to get away from all the water being sprayed at me all of a sudden.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
It was 4 am in the morning, and Kangin was shooting water at me, screaming, “GOJIRA ATTACK WITH WATER GUN! DA HA HA!”
The English-speaking show off he still is - nothing much changes about him besides his weight loss.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Somehow I managed to zigzag my way to a sprint out of the apartment, running for my dear life like I was being chased by the god damned police for whatever things thugs do in back alleys nowadays.
Funny. I thought if I was ever going to go to jail for anything, it’d be selling fake Pokemon cards to hardcore fanatics in the Pokemon-crazed society or something.
What?
People sue people for crazy, crazy things nowadays. Unlicensed Pokemon card = life sentence, okay!
At 4 am in the morning I was scaling up stairs of my apartment to run away from Kangin and his water gun. What he was on, I didn’t the Hell want to know.
All I know is that it gave him wings, which turned him into some crazy water-shooting morning terrorist.
You only get this kind of thing when you’re with Super Junior, really.
I looked down and saw Eunhyuk and Sungmin on the 8th floor, flying down the stairs, giggling but making no sounds at all.
Freakin’ ninjas!
Then I saw Donghae shuffling across the corridor on another floor, his back close to the wall in that Mission Impossible kind of way, throwing nervous looks over his shoulders because everything was quiet all of a sudden.
Oh-uh.
Lake placid.
And so the real terror begins.
Right.
Forget it?!
I headed for my dorm, figuring Zhou Mi might be there already since he’s pretty smart to think things like : ‘screw it, I’m going home and sleep’ too instead of joining such chaos which you would have to answer to someone tomorrow for it (don’t want that. My manager is the great Aslan, hello?)…
But I stopped at the last few steps to my floor when the elevator at the other end of where I was standing at went ‘DING!’ (freakin’ woke Seoul up) to see someone coming out of it.
Looking damn awkward for a second there - no one stares at ceilings that long, really.
The person was clad in a black leather jacket, with some wicked emo hairstyle…carrying huge bags in hand, walking past doors and looking at the numbers on the thumb screens next to each gate…
New trainee?
I was thinking, Oh welcome to SM!
And then I saw Kangin.
And he ran to that person - and opened fire.
“GOJIRA ATTACK HENLI!”
...
What?
The victim started screaming - and no, I do not scream like a freaking…
Girl?
I begin running towards the merciless scene where Kangin was just happily spraying water at the poor, poor unfortunate soul of a new trainee, coming to her rescue.
And then Kangin stopped shooting for a second, and went, “Henli ah? You wear leather to sleep?”
“What?”
English?
“Hyung!” I went as I was reaching them, alarmed but amused at the same time.
“Yah!” Kangin looked at me and gasped, shocked to death or something. “You’re here!”
“Henli?”
She tossed the wet hair off her face, throwing a snarl at Super Junior’s No.1 crazy guy in Korea.
“What is a HENLI?”
“Oh!” Kangin, he almost died when everything sank into his head. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”
Not funny, really. But…Oh hey, Tablo Epik High English!
“Are you crazy?” She pushed her bangs further up, glaring down at Kangin. “Who are you?!”
YAY ANOTHER NEW TRAINEE WHO CAN SPEAK TABLO ENGLISH!
“Excuse me,” Kangin snorted at the attitude, showing off his English again. Unstoppable, this guy.
“Who are you?”
“Hello, I asked you first mister!”
“You…You mean…you donno ME??!”
“You’re crazy, that’s what I know,” The girl deadpanned, rolling her head in that diva sort of way.
I swear I tried my best not to laugh, but I did anyway. Just a little bit. I’m sorry, I know.
“What? I no crazy!” Kangin exploded, throwing his hand up. “My name is Kangin and I am Korea’s No. 1-“
Okay this is too funny, right?
*GOJIRA LEETEUK LAUGH*
“What are you talking about? English please!”
“Stupid I AM TALKING ENGLISH!”
Kangin, I love you so much right now. The guy knows no danger, I swear he doesn’t.
“Excuuuuuuuuuuse me?” The girl threw a hand up to the front of his face. “Did you just call me-”
“I’m sorry!” I quickly said, jumping in between them two before any more limbs came flying up and maybe start hurting people or something.
“Oh you speak English,” the girl mused, eyeballing me next. “Tell me you’re not with this crazy jerk.”
“YAH!!”
Jesus CHRIST.
“I’m,” I jumped in again, throwing my arms out to stop Kangin from launching himself at her.
“Henry. You are?”
“I’m Amber.”
“Hello, Amber. Nice to meet you! New-”
Behind me Kangin hollered, “Nice to meet you stupid Amber!”
“HEY! He-“
“This,” I said, stopping her from launching at him. “Is Kangin!”
“Kangin! Sounds like a typical crazy jerk name to me.”
“Henli ah,” Kangin narrowed his eyes at me. “Is she saying bad things about me?”
“No no, she just said oh, your name is Kangin. Nice name!”
Amber snorted, “Jerk.”
“YAH!”
“Yah yah yah! YA YA...PAPAYA!”
Oh my God, this girl?
“NO I NO PAPAYA - YOU! YOU PAPAYA!”
Oh my God, this guy!
OKAY. I NEED BACKUP?!?!?!
Of course God heard my plea for sanity balance, so guess who came to my rescue?
“What is all this noise?”
Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he probably flew from our dorm to this floor with his invisible great wings of steel or something, because come on, I didn’t hear any elevator ‘dings’ or any shuffling of steps but POOF!!!!!
There he was, standing with a face so scrunched you wouldn’t think eyebrows could come any closer to each other, really.
2 seconds later, his expression changed as if he had received enlightment or revelation or whatever from the skies or something epic like that.
Then he breathed out an amazed-sounding, “Woah. Jesus!”
Amber looked at him, weirded out before throwing that same look back at me. “Oh, another one?”
I didn’t get to answer her that, because she came crashing down to the floor with Donghae a split second later - screaming something vulgar in which, fortunately, only I could make out.
“DONGHAE AH!” We all shouted at the same time, shocked that he just jumped on her out of nowhere like that.
“NOOOOO!”
“Sorry!” Shiwon pulled him off her in a single pull around his waist. “Oh my God, we’re really sorry…”
“Not me. I’m not sorry!!!” Kangin snorted, getting a punch in the arm for it. “What?!”
Amber wasn’t amused at all, of course.
So she demanded, “IS EVERYONE CRAZY HERE?”
“Henli ah,” Donghae squeaked, when he realized what he just ninja-ed. “Who is this person?”
“Amber.”
“Stupid Amber,” Kangin corrected proudly, making a face. “Bluek!”
“You-“
“Uhm…” Donghae stared at her for a good few seconds, before bringing those big, big eyes back to me.
“This person…is a boy or girl?”
What the Hell, this guy?
In front of me, Kangin started dancing and randomly singing, “No no no no no no…BABO!”
“Why you big fat-”
“Yeah, I know, but…” Shiwon blinked at me, ignoring the two completely. He’s so cool like that.
“Are you guys related or something?”
Related?
“Sister?”
“Huh?” I shook my head, with Amber looking at me for translations I bet. “No she’s not!”
“Sister? Ah…………” Donghae stared at her for a second. “So she’s a girl!”
Hello can I slap you? Please and thank you.
“UWA!” His eyes flew wider when we deadpanned at the obvious. “I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOU!”
He thought Amber the girl was me.
So that means she either looks like a guy, or I look like a girl.
Okay, can I kill you?
“OH no! I ATTACK GIRL?!” His English went into an instant overdrive. “I am very sorry, Ambo…”
“Amber.”
“Stupid Amber.”
“I-“
“Amba? Ambea? What?”
“Never mind!” Amber rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Sheessh…”
“Why would you think she’s me, hyung?” I blinked, confused. “We don’t look alike!”
“No you sure don’t,” Shiwon nodded, before becoming amazed again.
“You look the same.”
“Hah! Really?” I turned to Amber the lost little goldfish, lost in the flashy Korean around her.
“Yeah!” Donghae nodded his head off, excited as Hell. “REALLY! See! Look! Even the hair…”
Freakin’ kidding me?
“You and Henli,” Donghae grinned, pointing at us as he skyrocketed his English into debut.
“YOU AND HIM…SAME SAME!”
Amber tilted her head to decipher that while I blurted out a ridiculed, “NO WE DON’T!”
“YES YOU DO! SAME SAME! I thought I was attacking you…”
“What?”
“Henli and Am…Ambro? Ambro-”
“It’s AM-BER!”
“Dumb Amber-”
“URRRRRRRRGHH-”
“Really?”
“Henli! This one, another stupid boy!”
And Kangin whacked me on the head with his hand.
Ouch.
“You,” He bellowed, ridiculed. “BROTHER-SISTER! Understand me?”
So assuming, what the hell?
“But we’re NOT brother and sister!”
Like, how?
“How can you not be?” Kangin huffed, returning to his Korean with a smirk.
“You both look the same and even act the same way!”
Like, how?
He seemed to have read my mind, I swear he did.
“It’s easy,” Kangin said, slapping a confident hand on my shoulder. “Henli, you’re dumb but with nice hair and skin…”
Then he stuck his tongue out at the girl.
“And she’s dumber, with the same hair and the same skin…”
I know, right?
Don’t even think of betting on it, man.
At 4 in the morning, Korea’s No. 1 water terrorist Kim Kangin yelled, “Yah! Family reunion is so sweet, isn’t it?”
You’ll only get this kind of nonsense from Super Junior - and I can bet you shi-freaking-yuan for it.
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Right SO I'VE BEEN GONE THAT LONG!!
Lol I apologise for disappearing for so long...really miss writing the Henry series, and fanfiction in general. LOL, i know you all are like...wtf...what happened in the last chapters? ahhhh we have to re-read AGAIN?!
haha!!
Well...I'm back! Thanks for waiting, some of you. Muse has been wicked to me lately, I swear.
Thanks again for the support!! :D
Can;t leave Henry to just DIE can I?! lol!!!
Ah anyway! it's nice to be back. I hope I didn't disappoint!
See if you can spot 'Henry' in this video.
Till next time ;)
Thank you so very much to my editor/beta/VOR TARA THE AWESOME POWER RANGER @ ....crap. I forgot your LJ name. Hey, it's been a while okay? I even forgot how to freakin' put tags LOL!!!
will edit this part :)
Later!
Featuring : Zhou Mi, Shiwon, Donghae, Kangin, Eunhyuk, Brent Kingston and...Amber F(x). :D
Hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging off the edge of your seat?
Henry Lau - Return of the Jedi pirate.
Yes, this is a ‘come back’ entry.
Basically means I own the following nonsense you will be reading.
*Leeteuk laugh*
I am back and I am bored - therefore I shall ramble instead of learning to write in Chinese.
Brent Kingston, he taught me a lot of things that I didn’t know when we were kids.
Stuff like, ‘Carrots are good for your eyes, though they’re not exactly nature’s equivalent to lasik surgery!’…
Wait, no, he didn’t say that.
I said that, because believe it or not I’m actually ‘junking’ on friggin’ carrot sticks .
And here’s the part where we get the *stunned silence*.
What?
So I listen to the resident Aslan and his SIIDP nonsense (remember that? Seunghwan’s Ideal Idol Diet Programme aka WTFH Total Failure From the Start because Super Junior M are animals) instead of the Choi Gabriel Shiwon.
He calls it Seunghwan’s Ideal Idiot Programme by the way, but big deal, really.
Uhm, yeah. I guess I’ve been gone that long for you guys to remember anything right now huh?
Livejournal states that my last post was 30 weeks ago.
That’s like 7.5 months.
No I’m not smashing smart with Math. I used a calculator.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Anyway.
Honestly, though - “When you’re an idol, the weighing machine will always be your friend”?
Can you forget that? I don’t think so.
It has more epic worth than whatever Mahatma Ghandi ever said in his lifetime, I swear on anything Shiwon can be that snazzy health boom, boom, boom he is - no matter what he eats.
Well. Not everyone is a Choi Shiwon, right?
Yeah, anyway, Jesus Christ. I have no freakin’ idea why I’m still on rabbit food too nowadays.
Okay, stop. I don’t want to think too much about this. Where was I?
Ah yes, Kingston.
Things like, “the “white version of broccoli” is cauliflower, Henry. Any idiot knows that!”
Brent Kingston had never once failed to embarrass me in the middle of a grocery store like that. And I learn things like this, like, in a twisted kind of manner you know?
Come to think of it, he is sort of like my third, no forth parent …
…which I really don’t want to continue talking about because I realize that it actually sounds freakishly wrong in so many ways now so, yes, ANYWAY!
My best friend since the settlement of the Crayola empire. (Those were really good times, the kindergarten years) He only officially became my walking Wikipedia when we stopped being snotty brats and grew to become closer friends in junior high school.
And his source of information was himself, his own thinking, his own ideologies.
He taught me things like the grass is always greener on the other side - only because it’s chemically enhanced, like everything that looks absurdly fresh in this world right now.
Brent Kingston is such an awesome smart-ass you would like your mother to meet.
He also said that miracle waters make your face look like bloody Lord Voldermort - because they have porcelain perfect people like Sammi Cheng to endorse them.
The hippie who wanted to hug trees and play with firecrackers at the same time, the devil without a cause simply because - Brent Kingston isn’t exactly the best role model in my life, but he’s always been something like that.
It was 3 am on a cold, cold, super cold Wednesday morning when my cell phone rang and woke up the entire of Seoul with Wondergirls’ Nobody.
I know, even the haters loved Gee and they went pass that point of re-hating it - but it’s not like I’m bothered by updating myself with anything in the music biz when I’m barely breathing properly in my own schedule.
The Intensive Mandarin lessons I’m taking nowadays, I swear on anything, is difficult as a motherf-
“Hello? Yoboseyo? Moshi moshi? Wei?”
The smashing multi-linguist I’ve become, you’ve got to be proud of me for the way I roll nowadays, man.
I mean, at least everyone in my family tree does anyway.
He responded with a familiar, “Hey~ Don’t bring me down~”
Here’s something you can ponder your thoughts on: Who is NOT a Dong Bang Shin Ki fan in this planet?
*Leeteuk laugh*
“Hey Kingston!”
Of course, he deadpanned at that. He deadpans at almost everything I do - pre and post idol status.
Well, I guess that’s one of the things that keep my idol ego at ‘standard size’.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Ah, I bet you missed my Leeteuk laugh so, so much…
“Wrong, Henry.”
Brent Kingston is just the awesome smart-ass deadpanner you would like your entire family to meet!
Over the other end of the line that telephonically connected Korea and Ontario despite time, space and continuum difference (the clarity of network services never fails to give me homesickness, other than the paranoid thought that my mom is actually living under my bed), Brent went, “It’s Britney, bitch.”
Now having heard him pulling off something like that makes me think along the lines of my dork god Kim Yeh Sung and Onew with his terrible ‘condition’.
Yeah. There’s no stopping them, really.
Brent Kingston is my best friend and the funniest failure ever to walk on the face of the god-blessed universe - but you’d still take him to meet your parents simply because.
Okay I realized that instead of apologizing for ‘dropping off the face of the planet’ and abandoning this blog, I go on and on about my best friend.
Why?
Because I miss him and when I miss him I miss my parents, and when I miss my parents I miss my brother Bill Clinton, and when I start missing Clint that basically means I miss my friends and Ontario and Canada and English language and…
Yes.
I was in a pretty funky mood because it had been raining the entire day and all.
Korea’s rain makes me go emo-unstable on every damn thing, Christ.
Like, carrot sticks. Five seconds before I was enjoying it. Five seconds later I was like…WTF?
The air smelt refreshing and clean and freezing, but unfortunately the internet connection kept dying on me so I couldn’t really watch Hannah Montana the Movie in streaming peace...
What?
Disney chicks are the in thing now - they multiply like those little jelly balls you put in water…water babies or something like that? Boom, boom, boom…you can’t stop it at all.
Pretty funky things, these water babies. I had a bottle of blue ones but of course 10 minutes after purchasing them from Ahjummanie...I didn’t know what the Hell I was supposed to do with it.
So I gave it to Taemin. For good luck, I said.
I even tied a ribbon around the bottle’s neck - the shade of blue that Shinee’s fan club colour is supposed to be.
In which, until today, is still the topic of a very heated debate to what kind of blue it is.
Oh well. And Taemin, he didn’t think I was making much sense (he said ‘blue jelly…balls?’) but he took them anyway because he’s adorably nice like that.
Seriously…Whose son is this?
Okay, now I miss Taemin.
We haven’t been hanging out for a while - he’s really that damn busy diving and basking and indulging in his group’s new mature/sexy image, which totally does not fit him because he’s as adorable as freakin’ Stitch.
I mean, come on, whose son is this really?!
Gone are the sweetie-pie bowl haircut days and in with the…dead insects hairclips (Don’t try to reason with me, we all know they were once flying - alive, gay and happy)…multi-tasking all that fame boom, boom, boom with the occasional Math/Chemistry/basically educational Hell once the lights, camera, action schedules end.
Ah~!
Lifestyle of the too young and the too famous…
I’m so jealous.
*Leeteuk laugh*
So will a simple apology to all of you be okay?
Have mercy on my awesome hair and handsome manicure and MAC lip gloss.
Good, I love you all too.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway, Hey, I have every bit to complain about my life at the moment, alright?
While Taemin is (more or less) happily ‘air swimming’ (Kangin will never live that down, still with his fascination with that certain dance move in SHINee’s first single) in his popularity’s waves, I’m freakin’ stuck with learning languages in classrooms that take ages for me to find.
If you must know, SM Entertainment’s building may look like every other building in Seoul - but it’s actually a god damned ant farm. I bet you even the staff who have worked here for yonks still get confused once in a while, mainly because the departments move things around a lot to make space for the future’s god knows what.
Usually, I have trouble finding Korean / Mandarin classes and yeah, okay, sometimes I get lost on purpose - simply because it’s a universal consensus that studio atmosphere owns boring Chinese intonation lessons, like, du-du-duuuuuuuuuuh they do?
On the other line, Brent went, “So how’s life?”
As if he didn’t know what my life is like nowadays. What a bastard.
So I said, “The usual. Practice, Mando, practice, Korean…yours?”
As if I didn’t know what his life is like nowadays. I’m such a bastard too at times.
And he said, “Lecture, job, lecture, job. Movies, hot pot, barbeque gatherings…you know. The usual.”
Movies. BBQ. The usual.
Lifestyle of the non SM idol.
Seriously, he could have just lied that his life was as boring as a god damn cherry tree just to be sensitive.
The demanding idol I’ve become. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, God.
Meh.
“I hate you so much right now, Kingston.”
“How can you say that to your original biggest fan, Henry?”
Meh.
“I’m learning how to write ‘she sells sea shells by the seashore’ in traditional Chinese, man.”
“You’re excused for being cranky.”
Meet my best friend Brent Kingston - the boom, boom, boom of my overall mental balance.
You know I can’t smile without you~ can’t smillllllllllle withooooooout you~
Jesus. You try writing anything in Chinese and the only thing you will get after writing about a quantumabagajillion strokes in triquantumbajillion angles is “she sells…”.
Two characters down…just twenty thousand more to go.
MAJOR MEH!!!
Brent decided to get off the phone when nothing we were talking about was doing any uplifting to my mood (male PMS, I swear to Christ), and as soon as I was done with constructing the final sentence (‘I do not want to sit next to Donghae in our flights to anywhere anymore.’ I made that up because I felt like it) in the sentence writing section, I went out of my room thinking I should go make hot tea or something to kill off the freeze of the night.
At 3 am plus, my left brain was numb - so I was officially, slowly and painfully evolving into a non-creative.
The horror of it all, really - I needed to get out of it before I turn into a carrot stick, Christ.
Meh, meh…MEH.
I was heading for the kitchen when the front door opened with a small beep.
“Ah Hen ah~!!!”
Aish.
How many times must I freakin’ tell you: DO NOT CALL ME AH-
“So, are you done with your homework yet?”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
Everyone loves Zhou Mi.
Every single one in SM Entertainment does, I’m not exaggerating; I can swear on anything at all.
Zhou Mi is one of those rare, always happy and gay butterflies (besides SHInee’s Key) in SM, the resident care bear in my dorm, and one of the super moms (besides Ryeowook, Leeteuk) in Super Junior and SujuMan(darin).
Without even putting his shopping bags down first or anything, he asked me, “Did you translate the sentences like I told you to?”
He’s officially Kim Heechul’s ‘seasoning’ - which we all don’t want to know what that really means. Let’s just say he managed to avoid Heechul during last year’s Super Junior Super Show…in which the ‘Queen’ went on a kissing rampage and spared none of his favorites (Shiwon finished my Listerine).
He’s really that kind of guy who is likeable as Hell even when your initial conversation with him was about something as god damn boring as the weather. …Or the mountains.
Like good ol’ Seoul has any freakin’ mountains to talk about in the first place.
Without even taking his shoes off, he asked me, “Was it difficult?”
If Zhou Mi had a theme song to his life, it would be the everlasting gay song of:You know I can’t smile without you~ caaaaaaaan’t smile withouuuuuuuuut you~
In press reports and magazine interviews, our Zhou Mi is often depicted as the eternal sunshine with a witty mind with his towering figure, bright eyes, contagious smile and his celebrated, handsome Peking Opera manners.
Give him the microphone and he will say things that you will want to hear - and you won’t even know if he was being discreetly sarcastic about anything.
Without even asking me if I was hungry or anything, (it was 3 am plus, but so what?) he said, “I gave you second level elementary Chinese Henli ah…by now you should be able to do it without any mistakes at all.”
If he was an employer at K-Mart, he’d win Employer of the Month for the entire 12 months in a year.
If he was an animal in the zoo, he’d be the Animal of the Month for the entire 12 months in a year.
Now listen.
What he wants you to believe is that his image is as sparkling as the god damn running lights over Nandaemun on a festive atmosphere.
Listen even more closely.
What you don’t know is that Zhou Mi is actually the Mandarin teacher from the fiery chasms of Hell.
I’m not kidding. Don’t believe me?
Ask Donghae, Shiwon.
Ask anyone who has gone through his educational torture and you will not be able to handle the truth about the member whom we have come to affectionately nickname Mimi.
They will testify with tears running down like goddamn river Nile, I swear.
Wait, no. Don’t ask Ryeowook and Kyuhyun though.
Those two will always, always be on Zhou Mi’s side. They love him to death.
Status : confirmed infected with Mimi’s aegyo skills!
And don’t ask Han Kyung of course - and that’s because he was the original teacher from Hell before he passed his throne and crown over to the Mimi.
Yes. You can never imagine any of this, right?
*Leeteuk laugh*
I waited for Zhou Mi to stop buzzing about like some kamikaze dragonfly around the small kitchen of our home before I answered him with a wearied, “Yeah, I’ve done all of it.”
“Good. I’ll check it after I shower, okay?”
Should I answer that?
No, I don’t think so. Don’t encourage him, Henry. Duh.
He still wanted to mark his papers even when it was close to four in the morning.
Psssssssssh.
Finally, after taking out a few things and putting them on the table, he asked me, “Henli ah…You hungry?”
I nodded though I wasn’t hungry at all. Something smelled really good from the plastic bag he was holding up, and it didn’t as Hell smell like vegetables.
“Aiyaaaaaa…You should’ve told me! I would have bought more of these for you!”
Zhou Mi kills me like that. I swear he’s rubbing off Kyuhyun in that UGH kind of sense lately - because they’re like new BFFs or something.
But yeah, whatever.
“What’s that?” I asked, crawling into one of the chairs around the counter as I peered into the bag.
“It’s cookies.”
COOKIES. OMG. I LOVE COOKIES! COOKIE MONSTER, ME!
Cookies are for the win - or FTW. Brent taught me that, yeah.
“YAY!!!!!” My fists pounded on the counter top instantly, like some god damn 8-year-old.
“Cookies!!!”
“You can have some-“
“I want!”
“Kyuhyun got it from this shop called Mrs Fields-“
“YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
“Aiya!” Zhou Mi rolled his eyes at me. “Henli ah, you’re acting like you’ve never eaten cookies before!”
I’ve been an idol for over a year here in Asia, and everyone still calls me Henli.
Oh well.
“Well I’ve been eating carrot sticks the entire time I was doing homework,” I said, not meaning it to sound like I was whining but of course it did come out as a whine of some sort.
“You’re joking.” He looked like he just saw an alien walked past him waving a Super Junior light stick.
“No I’m not!” I shook my head, taking the box of Heaven out. “I seriously ate all of it!”
“How can you be on such a diet? Aren’t you a pig?”
Oi!
“I’m not on any diet! I just couldn’t stop eating them.”
Jesus…Was it even necessary to toy with the terrible rumble in my stomach right then!?
JUST GIMME THE COOKIES!
RAR RAR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Can I have all of them, please?”
“No! Leave some for our managers. And me!”
RARRRRRRRRRRR RARR!!!!!
Look, I wasn’t raised to be a selfish bastard.
So I took out one cookie, put it on top of a coaster I swiped off the kitchen top and pushed it to him.
“This is yours!”
Okay so I learned to be a little selfish over the months…because hey, trust me, when it comes to food, it is simply just food > Starcraft = Life itself!
Of course, Zhou Mi was ready to murder me with his death stare he learned off KyuHyun.
RAR!!!
“Come on!” I grinned. “You can always ask your KyuHyun to go to Mrs Fields and buy you another box. “And…” I swear he growled at me. Scary. “So you’re just going to take all of it…and give one to me.”
“Give and take?”
“Sharing,” Zhou Mi huffed, raising an eyebrow at the cookies. “Is what being brothers is all about, right?”
Smart ass.
“So that means you’re going to share this box of cookies…and give them all to me, right?”
“You’re dreaming right?”
“Dreaming is good, right?”
“Keep on dreaming, right?”
“Aish…” I frowned. I was really god damn greedy all of a sudden. “Oh come on!”
“Look,” Zhou Mi said, looking at me with that annoyed (=.=) look he learned to master from the original Mr. (=.=) which is…come on, who else, really?
“KyuKyu bought this for me and I-”
“What?” I could have spat out my spleen if not my entire bowel system out of my nose.
“KyuKyu?”
“Err…” Zhou Mi flushed pink. It was so weird. “I mean KyuHyun-“
“What? What?” Too late. I got excited as hell already! “KyuKyu! What the heck is that?”
“It’s what I call him-”
“KyuKyu?”
Is that the smashing Henry-despising (he never hated me, he said. My ass.) vampire I used to be so paranoid of? The Dra…Dra…
Dra-KyuKyu.
*GOJIRA LEETEUK LAUGH*
“Why is he KyuKyu?” I laughed before taking a huge bite off a cookie. “How did it come to that?”
“Does it matter?”
“No, I’m curious. How is that a mean person’s name?”
“He’s not mean.”
My ass. He still is - because Cho KyuHyun’s hobbies are playing video games, eat black bean noodles and oh, bullying me for fun in which everyone can clearly see?
“Well he’s always on your side,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. “So he’s mean.”
“Oh,” Zhou Mi was ridiculed to Hell. “Are you saying I’m mean now?”
Quick!
What’s Bonnie and Clyde in Chinese?
“You’re a mean teacher,” I muttered, hunched over the cookies like god damned Smeagol. “Meanie lao shi. (teacher).”
“Wei,” Zhou Mi huffed, in that Peking Opera dramatic way of his. “Who said you can call me Mimi?”
What the…?
I said MEANIE not MIMI!
“Then…” But I guess I was interested in a pointless argument with the guy. I was bored to death, okay.
“Stop calling me “Ah Hen ah!”
“Your name is cute.”
My ass it is. “It’s not my name.”
“Ah Hen ah~”
“That’s not my name!”
“AH Hen ah~!”
Apparently he must be bored to death too.
“MIMI AHHHHHHHH!”
“Ah Hen-“
“Mi-“
And then, out of nowhere, Shiwon appeared. Like, POOF!!!!
I know, right! How the hell…?
“You two…” Shiwon growled, his awesome eyebrows knitting to an irritated knot in the middle of his forehead as he threw nasty glances back and forth between us.
We waited as he literally read the air above his head for a few seconds with his eyes.
Shh!
God works in mysterious ways - so you can say the rest of his little power rangers do the same thing.
Finally, he brandished a finger to the front door.
And the Gabriel barked out, ”NI ZHOU!”
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
No, that wasn’t the first time Choi Shiwon exploded and told us to ‘get out’ of the house with his amazing Beijing-man Chinese.
If you don’t know yet a lot of artists are actually posers, me included.
You think Shiwon is just born cool and will die cool as Hell - but, ha-ha, no?
Like, you see me on TV and all you think about is cute, spongy food stuff like mocha and tofu and red bean buns.
You see me in real life and all you think about is hot, handsome, pretty boy and he’s not that short!
You live with me for triquantumbagajillion years and you will randomly put HENRY LAU I’M GONNA KILL YOU on your facebook/twitter/whatever shout outs in some of those funky days.
You live with me in Korea and China for well over a year, and all you think about is…
Well, all you think about is…
Yeah.
It’s the same with Shiwon and everyone else at times too.
No comment.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Anyway, Shiwon kicked Zhou Mi out of his own room once - because the resident sunshine made him repeat some words in Mandarin like, 40 times over and it short-circuited Gabriel’s nerves.
See?
And now you know why we dread taking lessons from the Mimi.
I know, I know. It’s not his fault that the language speaks in 4 Peking Opera intonations or whatever.
We can’t kick Chinese out of our rooms - but we can kick an annoying Chinese teacher out, right?
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
“He threw you out of your own house?”
Lee Donghae, his eyes are naturally as huge as a goldfish’s - so it’s actually really freaky when they bulge out whenever he widens them further.
Of course he knows that - that’s why he enjoys doing it.
The annoying butterfly you’d want to slap to death, that’s Lee Donghae for you when he gets on your nerves. He really can, you know. He’d be violent to you in your seat on an airplane if he wants to - and it will be about things like gummy bears and stuff.
Yeah. We all love him that way too - ironically. What’s life without a Donghae?
Blub blub blub.
“Why is he in our house in the first place?” Zhou Mi asked, honestly surprised. He speaks better Korean now - maybe even better than our leader, and he’s been in Korea since like, forever.
Anyway!
I think that was an honest but stupid question though.
“HENLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! JOU MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”
And we found out why Shiwon was at our place instead of the HWAITING! dorm.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaa! HYAK HYAK!”
I think it was Eunhyuk who ran past me, almost knocking into Zhou Mi and Donghae ran off to join him.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SORRY! HYAK HYAK! RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
What the hell?!
“Hey!” Zhou Mi blinked at them, before looking at the floor. “Eh why is there water all over the-“
Three solid seconds later, I was on the ground with Sungmin on top of me.
“Ow!” I yelped, feeling the initial pain on my back spreading all over me now. “Sungminnie-“
Yeah, we’re still together.
Sorry KyuHyun X Sungmin fans. I’m still winning in this department.
*VICTORIOUS LEETEUK LAUGH*
And yeah, he’s still god damn violent like this. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve changed so much as his boyfriend now - but it’s not like I’m giving out any details.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
“Henli! Henli!” He pushed himself up, just to freakin’ sit on me. “RUN!”
Sure, like, how!?
“What?” Christ I think the floor broke, I swear it did. “Sungminnie, get off me…”
“HE’S COMING!” Sungmin squeaked, tossing his hair off his eyes as he jumped off me before trying to pull me up in a single haul of a grabbed forearm.
Amazing. I’m as light as a freakin’ feather!
Jesus.
I think I am on a freakin’ diet.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Five seconds later the ground beneath our feet rumbled, and then Kangin jumped into appearance.
He screamed, “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOJIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEELL?!
Sungmin grabbed Zhou Mi and his ‘WTF-is-going-on?!’ face and took off with him instantly, squealing like an excited piglet of some sort (aw, cute) - and next thing I knew it was raining indoors.
“HYUNG!” I shouted, being cornered to the couch trying to get away from all the water being sprayed at me all of a sudden.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
It was 4 am in the morning, and Kangin was shooting water at me, screaming, “GOJIRA ATTACK WITH WATER GUN! DA HA HA!”
The English-speaking show off he still is - nothing much changes about him besides his weight loss.
*LEETEUK LAUGH*
Somehow I managed to zigzag my way to a sprint out of the apartment, running for my dear life like I was being chased by the god damned police for whatever things thugs do in back alleys nowadays.
Funny. I thought if I was ever going to go to jail for anything, it’d be selling fake Pokemon cards to hardcore fanatics in the Pokemon-crazed society or something.
What?
People sue people for crazy, crazy things nowadays. Unlicensed Pokemon card = life sentence, okay!
At 4 am in the morning I was scaling up stairs of my apartment to run away from Kangin and his water gun. What he was on, I didn’t the Hell want to know.
All I know is that it gave him wings, which turned him into some crazy water-shooting morning terrorist.
You only get this kind of thing when you’re with Super Junior, really.
I looked down and saw Eunhyuk and Sungmin on the 8th floor, flying down the stairs, giggling but making no sounds at all.
Freakin’ ninjas!
Then I saw Donghae shuffling across the corridor on another floor, his back close to the wall in that Mission Impossible kind of way, throwing nervous looks over his shoulders because everything was quiet all of a sudden.
Oh-uh.
Lake placid.
And so the real terror begins.
Right.
Forget it?!
I headed for my dorm, figuring Zhou Mi might be there already since he’s pretty smart to think things like : ‘screw it, I’m going home and sleep’ too instead of joining such chaos which you would have to answer to someone tomorrow for it (don’t want that. My manager is the great Aslan, hello?)…
But I stopped at the last few steps to my floor when the elevator at the other end of where I was standing at went ‘DING!’ (freakin’ woke Seoul up) to see someone coming out of it.
Looking damn awkward for a second there - no one stares at ceilings that long, really.
The person was clad in a black leather jacket, with some wicked emo hairstyle…carrying huge bags in hand, walking past doors and looking at the numbers on the thumb screens next to each gate…
New trainee?
I was thinking, Oh welcome to SM!
And then I saw Kangin.
And he ran to that person - and opened fire.
“GOJIRA ATTACK HENLI!”
...
What?
The victim started screaming - and no, I do not scream like a freaking…
Girl?
I begin running towards the merciless scene where Kangin was just happily spraying water at the poor, poor unfortunate soul of a new trainee, coming to her rescue.
And then Kangin stopped shooting for a second, and went, “Henli ah? You wear leather to sleep?”
“What?”
English?
“Hyung!” I went as I was reaching them, alarmed but amused at the same time.
“Yah!” Kangin looked at me and gasped, shocked to death or something. “You’re here!”
“Henli?”
She tossed the wet hair off her face, throwing a snarl at Super Junior’s No.1 crazy guy in Korea.
“What is a HENLI?”
“Oh!” Kangin, he almost died when everything sank into his head. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”
Not funny, really. But…Oh hey, Tablo Epik High English!
“Are you crazy?” She pushed her bangs further up, glaring down at Kangin. “Who are you?!”
YAY ANOTHER NEW TRAINEE WHO CAN SPEAK TABLO ENGLISH!
“Excuse me,” Kangin snorted at the attitude, showing off his English again. Unstoppable, this guy.
“Who are you?”
“Hello, I asked you first mister!”
“You…You mean…you donno ME??!”
“You’re crazy, that’s what I know,” The girl deadpanned, rolling her head in that diva sort of way.
I swear I tried my best not to laugh, but I did anyway. Just a little bit. I’m sorry, I know.
“What? I no crazy!” Kangin exploded, throwing his hand up. “My name is Kangin and I am Korea’s No. 1-“
Okay this is too funny, right?
*GOJIRA LEETEUK LAUGH*
“What are you talking about? English please!”
“Stupid I AM TALKING ENGLISH!”
Kangin, I love you so much right now. The guy knows no danger, I swear he doesn’t.
“Excuuuuuuuuuuse me?” The girl threw a hand up to the front of his face. “Did you just call me-”
“I’m sorry!” I quickly said, jumping in between them two before any more limbs came flying up and maybe start hurting people or something.
“Oh you speak English,” the girl mused, eyeballing me next. “Tell me you’re not with this crazy jerk.”
“YAH!!”
Jesus CHRIST.
“I’m,” I jumped in again, throwing my arms out to stop Kangin from launching himself at her.
“Henry. You are?”
“I’m Amber.”
“Hello, Amber. Nice to meet you! New-”
Behind me Kangin hollered, “Nice to meet you stupid Amber!”
“HEY! He-“
“This,” I said, stopping her from launching at him. “Is Kangin!”
“Kangin! Sounds like a typical crazy jerk name to me.”
“Henli ah,” Kangin narrowed his eyes at me. “Is she saying bad things about me?”
“No no, she just said oh, your name is Kangin. Nice name!”
Amber snorted, “Jerk.”
“YAH!”
“Yah yah yah! YA YA...PAPAYA!”
Oh my God, this girl?
“NO I NO PAPAYA - YOU! YOU PAPAYA!”
Oh my God, this guy!
OKAY. I NEED BACKUP?!?!?!
Of course God heard my plea for sanity balance, so guess who came to my rescue?
“What is all this noise?”
Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he probably flew from our dorm to this floor with his invisible great wings of steel or something, because come on, I didn’t hear any elevator ‘dings’ or any shuffling of steps but POOF!!!!!
There he was, standing with a face so scrunched you wouldn’t think eyebrows could come any closer to each other, really.
2 seconds later, his expression changed as if he had received enlightment or revelation or whatever from the skies or something epic like that.
Then he breathed out an amazed-sounding, “Woah. Jesus!”
Amber looked at him, weirded out before throwing that same look back at me. “Oh, another one?”
I didn’t get to answer her that, because she came crashing down to the floor with Donghae a split second later - screaming something vulgar in which, fortunately, only I could make out.
“DONGHAE AH!” We all shouted at the same time, shocked that he just jumped on her out of nowhere like that.
“NOOOOO!”
“Sorry!” Shiwon pulled him off her in a single pull around his waist. “Oh my God, we’re really sorry…”
“Not me. I’m not sorry!!!” Kangin snorted, getting a punch in the arm for it. “What?!”
Amber wasn’t amused at all, of course.
So she demanded, “IS EVERYONE CRAZY HERE?”
“Henli ah,” Donghae squeaked, when he realized what he just ninja-ed. “Who is this person?”
“Amber.”
“Stupid Amber,” Kangin corrected proudly, making a face. “Bluek!”
“You-“
“Uhm…” Donghae stared at her for a good few seconds, before bringing those big, big eyes back to me.
“This person…is a boy or girl?”
What the Hell, this guy?
In front of me, Kangin started dancing and randomly singing, “No no no no no no…BABO!”
“Why you big fat-”
“Yeah, I know, but…” Shiwon blinked at me, ignoring the two completely. He’s so cool like that.
“Are you guys related or something?”
Related?
“Sister?”
“Huh?” I shook my head, with Amber looking at me for translations I bet. “No she’s not!”
“Sister? Ah…………” Donghae stared at her for a second. “So she’s a girl!”
Hello can I slap you? Please and thank you.
“UWA!” His eyes flew wider when we deadpanned at the obvious. “I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOU!”
He thought Amber the girl was me.
So that means she either looks like a guy, or I look like a girl.
Okay, can I kill you?
“OH no! I ATTACK GIRL?!” His English went into an instant overdrive. “I am very sorry, Ambo…”
“Amber.”
“Stupid Amber.”
“I-“
“Amba? Ambea? What?”
“Never mind!” Amber rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Sheessh…”
“Why would you think she’s me, hyung?” I blinked, confused. “We don’t look alike!”
“No you sure don’t,” Shiwon nodded, before becoming amazed again.
“You look the same.”
“Hah! Really?” I turned to Amber the lost little goldfish, lost in the flashy Korean around her.
“Yeah!” Donghae nodded his head off, excited as Hell. “REALLY! See! Look! Even the hair…”
Freakin’ kidding me?
“You and Henli,” Donghae grinned, pointing at us as he skyrocketed his English into debut.
“YOU AND HIM…SAME SAME!”
Amber tilted her head to decipher that while I blurted out a ridiculed, “NO WE DON’T!”
“YES YOU DO! SAME SAME! I thought I was attacking you…”
“What?”
“Henli and Am…Ambro? Ambro-”
“It’s AM-BER!”
“Dumb Amber-”
“URRRRRRRRGHH-”
“Really?”
“Henli! This one, another stupid boy!”
And Kangin whacked me on the head with his hand.
Ouch.
“You,” He bellowed, ridiculed. “BROTHER-SISTER! Understand me?”
So assuming, what the hell?
“But we’re NOT brother and sister!”
Like, how?
“How can you not be?” Kangin huffed, returning to his Korean with a smirk.
“You both look the same and even act the same way!”
Like, how?
He seemed to have read my mind, I swear he did.
“It’s easy,” Kangin said, slapping a confident hand on my shoulder. “Henli, you’re dumb but with nice hair and skin…”
Then he stuck his tongue out at the girl.
“And she’s dumber, with the same hair and the same skin…”
I know, right?
Don’t even think of betting on it, man.
At 4 in the morning, Korea’s No. 1 water terrorist Kim Kangin yelled, “Yah! Family reunion is so sweet, isn’t it?”
You’ll only get this kind of nonsense from Super Junior - and I can bet you shi-freaking-yuan for it.
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Right SO I'VE BEEN GONE THAT LONG!!
Lol I apologise for disappearing for so long...really miss writing the Henry series, and fanfiction in general. LOL, i know you all are like...wtf...what happened in the last chapters? ahhhh we have to re-read AGAIN?!
haha!!
Well...I'm back! Thanks for waiting, some of you. Muse has been wicked to me lately, I swear.
Thanks again for the support!! :D
Can;t leave Henry to just DIE can I?! lol!!!
Ah anyway! it's nice to be back. I hope I didn't disappoint!
Click to viewSee if you can spot 'Henry' in this video.
Till next time ;)
Thank you so very much to my editor/beta/VOR TARA THE AWESOME POWER RANGER @ ....crap. I forgot your LJ name. Hey, it's been a while okay? I even forgot how to freakin' put tags LOL!!!
will edit this part :)
Later!