Pro Cra Sti Na Tion
Good ole late night high pressure cramming sessions.
This shit is getting really old, as well as increasingly more ineffective as I find I cannot cram math, or learn it at a normal pace either.
I must not be the only one who has slapped their forehead at all the study skills lessons they didn't need when they learned them and need now that they are far too deep into their ineffective habits. I really want to see a hypnotist, as I think that just that much more subconscious will is enough to make me better able to be the guy I wish I was in these wee hours of the night. It is frightening to think that we are so fragile, as beings, as to be able to put our entire will under the control of another in such a manner, but for anyone truly serious about changing themselves that has failed time and time again on their own, it certainly seems a gloriously simple, if expensive, solution. Time really does start passing faster as we age, and it is a blessing as well as a curse. It feels as if with every moment, I improve and deterioriate in seperate directions. Things that were uncertain become more certain, things that were certain become more uncertain. The ebbs and flows of this shapeless mass of a thing we call life, this all-penetrating duality of things. This utterly incomprehensible simplicity lying far beneath our lattices of deciet and good intention, built to forever obscure the true nature of everything for the purpose of adapting our environments to us. Humans have ceased to evolve as a species, in the sense that we do very little adaptation these days. Jackets when cold, t shirts when warm, all things hungered for are satisfied sooner or later, all things beyond our physical or mental capability, replaced by the aid of machines. 6 billion variations on the same idea but never straying too far from the center, and not going anywhere particular as a whole.
Recently, I have drawn back into myself. Somewhere I suppose I felt it justified for the weekly trials of output I face, but such things are no excuse to cease being civil and social. It is the ebb and flow of myself as a human being. A new semester, a new challenge in my work, my understanding, my patience and my fortitude and my responsiblity. 6 months older, 6 months wiser, 6 months stronger, and faced with things of varying difficulty but ever-seemingly more difficult content. It begins, I go into shock to try and cope with the differences, begin to understand these differences, and finally incorporate these changes back into a normal flow of life and being. As time presses on, I feel the need to do less complaining, and make less excuses. This may be the true lesson of college, nay, education as a whole. Coping with doing a lot of shit you dont want to do on a regular basis and coming out of it with a smile. Ahh but this may be just the lesson for me I'd think, as so many have seemed to have figured this out consistently already. The demands on me have surpassed my natural gifts, and I am years behind in terms of learning HOW to learn, and HOW to cope. I spent my entire first 12 years of serious education doing everything ad hoc, and not studying one moment of it, ever. I know of many that have had similar experiences. But here I am, back in my escapist rhetoric, glancing over the future and the past and ignoring my present circumstances and corresponding consequences. So with that, Bon Nuit
This shit is getting really old, as well as increasingly more ineffective as I find I cannot cram math, or learn it at a normal pace either.
I must not be the only one who has slapped their forehead at all the study skills lessons they didn't need when they learned them and need now that they are far too deep into their ineffective habits. I really want to see a hypnotist, as I think that just that much more subconscious will is enough to make me better able to be the guy I wish I was in these wee hours of the night. It is frightening to think that we are so fragile, as beings, as to be able to put our entire will under the control of another in such a manner, but for anyone truly serious about changing themselves that has failed time and time again on their own, it certainly seems a gloriously simple, if expensive, solution. Time really does start passing faster as we age, and it is a blessing as well as a curse. It feels as if with every moment, I improve and deterioriate in seperate directions. Things that were uncertain become more certain, things that were certain become more uncertain. The ebbs and flows of this shapeless mass of a thing we call life, this all-penetrating duality of things. This utterly incomprehensible simplicity lying far beneath our lattices of deciet and good intention, built to forever obscure the true nature of everything for the purpose of adapting our environments to us. Humans have ceased to evolve as a species, in the sense that we do very little adaptation these days. Jackets when cold, t shirts when warm, all things hungered for are satisfied sooner or later, all things beyond our physical or mental capability, replaced by the aid of machines. 6 billion variations on the same idea but never straying too far from the center, and not going anywhere particular as a whole.
Recently, I have drawn back into myself. Somewhere I suppose I felt it justified for the weekly trials of output I face, but such things are no excuse to cease being civil and social. It is the ebb and flow of myself as a human being. A new semester, a new challenge in my work, my understanding, my patience and my fortitude and my responsiblity. 6 months older, 6 months wiser, 6 months stronger, and faced with things of varying difficulty but ever-seemingly more difficult content. It begins, I go into shock to try and cope with the differences, begin to understand these differences, and finally incorporate these changes back into a normal flow of life and being. As time presses on, I feel the need to do less complaining, and make less excuses. This may be the true lesson of college, nay, education as a whole. Coping with doing a lot of shit you dont want to do on a regular basis and coming out of it with a smile. Ahh but this may be just the lesson for me I'd think, as so many have seemed to have figured this out consistently already. The demands on me have surpassed my natural gifts, and I am years behind in terms of learning HOW to learn, and HOW to cope. I spent my entire first 12 years of serious education doing everything ad hoc, and not studying one moment of it, ever. I know of many that have had similar experiences. But here I am, back in my escapist rhetoric, glancing over the future and the past and ignoring my present circumstances and corresponding consequences. So with that, Bon Nuit