Why do I feel like you're taking those words right out of my head? It's like all I want is for someone to recognize that, yes, I am a nice person. It seems like all they do it take my niceness (or what I think to be nice) for granted or they just see right passed it. And the ones who do realize that I am good person usually take advantage of me and it's all crap. It's like just because I don't do the same things, listen to the same music, or think the same way, it doesn't mean that anyone has the right to judge anyone. I don't understand the way some people think and what goes on in their heads when they choose not to be kind to someone because they are different. Just because they may stand out in a crowd, and are proud of it. It makes no sense. And sometimes I feel like I try to hard, and other times I feel like I don't try enough. It's so nerve-racking and I just cannot wait to be rid of it all in a few years. Gargh!!
that's all i've been thinking about lately. only one more year till i can get out of here. i hate how i am always overlooked just as jenna. the nice girl who will always be there and forgive you and listen. but they don't think of it as a good thing and that i'm a good person. i'm just. little jenna. nothing much. rrr i'm so sick of it. and i hate how no one bothers to get to know someone just because they're different. i mean, give me a chance, you know?? just remember, though. we're the ones that will be the best and go the farthest in the future.
thank god you have that attitude. it makes me really sad when somebody says, "OH, THE WAY TO BE POPULAR IS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE AND BE REALLY MEAN". well that's certainly one method, but it's only really effective if you don't mind that your popularity might not even extend to your senior year. (hell, even by eleventh grade i noticed most kids were kind of smartening up.) anyway i like you. and don't obsess over this shit because it's not worth it. or maybe it is. i'm a recluse and i'm proud but it's not for everybody and i shouldn't pretend it is. blargh.
i really don't mind either. i don't know if it's cynicism, realism, or just how i am, but i'm starting to let things go. let them happen. things happen. people will be people. but not enough of us are selfish enough. people might be bitches, but you can't control that. you can only control yourself. it sucks. but that's just how it is.
Comments 4
sigh...
xoxo - - jxc
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