for countrymir
Title: Untitled
For: countrymir
Pairing:Minhyuk/Kyung; Slight Zico/Kyung
Rating:PG for some bad language
Word Count: 2,422
Summary: Loving Zico is difficult but loving Minhyuk is just too easy.
Notes/Warnings: Ugh, I hope this is good for you, I was so brain dead for this.
Loving Zico was unforgiveable. It was the worst thing he’d chosen to do in his life, and of course, it was a decision. It wasn’t like falling love because you can’t help it; it was like choosing to be with someone because it was convenient. Because you didn’t want to be lonely, you just wanted to be with someone and say you had someone. And there was the physical aspect; there was the being tired of pretending to be in love with every set of honey thighs to cross his path and the trying to deny that every set of chocolate abs made him hard.
He probably could have opted out at any time, could have decided it would be better to be just friends. That the cold sex wasn’t even what he’d wanted out of it, that he could have found better walking the streets and club life. But he hadn’t because he’d put it into his mind that he loved Zico. That Zico loved him in his own self-absorbed, super controlling way. That even though things had always been on his terms, the talented older boy had some modicum of feelings for him as something other than a stress outlet.
It took meeting Minhyuk and becoming increasingly close to the older man as Zico became increasingly distant from him to realize it wasn’t healthy. It was hard and it took a lot of convincing for him to figure out what was best for him. Even with the trouble he had in dealing with Zico’s fits of OCD and long periods of locking himself away only to yell if Kyung dared to try to get him to do anything other than be a creative genius. The sex that rarely happened became rougher and more of a way for Zico to get some sort of satisfaction from something that wasn’t his palm, at the expense of Kyung’s own pleasure.
Minhyuk was supportive the entire time, really only trying to help out a friend who was struggling with life, though it was obvious that there was more there. Minhyuk didn’t hide his feelings or protect
them; he wore them on his sleeve and that was just what was so perfect about him. He was real, he was honest, and it was so easy to fall so deeply and hopelessly in love, even platonically. In fact, it was difficult not to feel something for the older dancer.
These were the thoughts running through Kyung’s mind as he packed his bags and made to leave the apartment he’d all but moved into with Zico at the beginning of their kind of relationship. It was only a few changes of clothes that usually stayed there when Kyung decided to spend the night, even after the distancing began. It was barely a duffel bag full and it was so easy because Zico was locked up in his homemade studio, closed off to the world and he probably wouldn’t even notice.
He left a note and then left the apartment, leaving the key on the counter as he slipped into his shoes and out of Zico’s romantic life for good. He didn’t really think that Zico would notice until he needed a release for his pent up sexual frustration.
Kyung didn’t really want to see his parents, which was really the only home he had at this point. So instead he went to Minhyuk’s, knocked on the door, and then sat on the stoop to wait for the dancer to get home. He didn’t really have any other plans anyways; usually he’d just make himself available for Zico. Which wasn’t really his style; thinking about it now, he realized that it had never been a healthy relationship. Maybe as friends it had been, when they’d still been close like they had been in elementary, but not anymore or in the recent past.
He sighed softly, resting his head on the tops of his knees, fingers absently playing with the strap on his duffel bag underneath his legs. It was late but that was fine, he knew Minhyuk would be back at some point, he rarely spent the night away from his home. The older man was the type that was only ever comfortable in his own bed, under his own roof where he could let himself go. And true to form, just shortly after nine (only four hours since Kyung had gotten there) Minhyuk strode up to the door, looking mildly shocked.
“Kyung? What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t stay there….I don’t think Jiho would care either way…would notice at all really. But I just couldn’t handle being there if I wasn’t going to stay with him. It’s painful you know?” Kyung rubbed at his nose slightly, only just noticing he was shivering in the unseasonably cold weather; he’d been sitting there so long he’d probably just been used to it. He stood up and bit his lip slightly, looking down at his feet before looking up with a hopeful expression. “I hope you don’t mind….I’m imposing…but, I didn’t want to go home to my mum…she’d be too suffocating…” He wrinkled his nose slightly and then adjusted the glasses that he’d upset with the action.
Minhyuk stood still for a moment; thirty seconds at the most, as he pondered the situation before he was nodding. “Yeah of course, Kyung. I’d do anything for you, you know that right?” He smiled sweetly; as a friend would for anyone they cared about. Kyung didn’t read into it as anything more than that.
He nodded and smiled and picked up his bag, “I promise I’ll find my own place soon…I have enough money saved up from not needing to pay rent, it’s just…difficult.” He nodded his head, lips pursed and expression pensive as he avoided looking Minhyuk in the eye. He didn’t really want to find his own place, as much as it was the good thing to do. He was just so used to being with other people, he didn’t think he could handle being alone. Even though staying with Zico had hardly ever counted as being with someone.
“No, no, take your time Kyungie. I’m here for you, you know that.” Minhyuk ruffled the younger male’s hair before letting them into his quaint but spacious two bedroom home. Kyung had always felt comfortable here, never had there been a reason for him to not want to be in Minhyuk’s home or in Minhyuk’s presence. It had come to be some sort of a safe haven, somewhere that he didn’t have to worry about anything else but being himself and being happy.
It was a few days later, after spending a lot of time at the small record shop he worked at and scouring the market for relatively cheap apartments that Minhyuk brought up an idea. They’d been sitting at the kitchen table eating Chinese takeout and drinking cheap soju when the elder made the proposition. “Kyung-ah…listen, I know it’s been hard for you and you’ve been looking pretty hard so quickly but,” He paused, thinking as he chewed on a big bite of fried noodles. Kyung was hanging onto his every word. “Well, I know you don’t have much and I like having you here so…you could just call the spare bedroom yours and we’ll split on the bills and you can pay me a portion of my mortgage, if you want.”
Kyung stared at him for a moment, jaw hanging open. Because he’d been thinking about how to pose a question to arrange something similar just earlier that day. And it was something he figured would be easy and suit them both. He smiled at Minhyuk and nodded his head, “I would actually love that…I think it’s a great idea.” He nodded his head and Minhyuk smiled at him, finishing his noodles and stealing a hunk of Kyung’s chow mein.
“Great, I’ll make an itinerary of sorts and it can officially start next month, considering it’s almost there anyways.” Minhyuk nodded, reaching over the table to pat Kyung’s hand comfortingly before he went back to stuffing his face.
It was a month later, probably less than that, when Zico found him again. Like a never ending cycle, the reclusive boy came stumbling into Minhyuk’s place, drunk out of his mind and reeking of sweat and perfume. His expression was livid and Kyung absently wondered why he’d waited so long to find him when it had been so long since he’d left. Maybe Zico was just really clueless; and it also really sucked that he’d decided to come barging in on a night where he and Minhyuk were enjoying some quality time together and watching movies.
Minhyuk sighed softly when he opened the door to the tall boy, brow lifted but otherwise stoic to the dishevelled appearance (up close there were even lip stick stains on Zico’s collar). “Yes, Jiho?”
“Kyungie…why’d you leave? Why’re you here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Zico stumbled into the house, rudely leaving his shoes on as he made his way to the living area and to a suddenly frightened looking Kyung. It was never good when Zico drank, or rather, when he got drunk. He didn’t become violent per say, but his temper became a bit more explosive and his need to have his way and OCD became even more apparent.
“I left you a note…I’m sure you read it.” Kyung bit out the words stiffly, not even sure it made sense to try to talk reason into a drunken man.
“Why didn’t you come to me if you had a problem? I’m always here for you, baby.” Zico’s hands were grimy and rough feeling, probably from a night of DJing and drinking himself stupid. “I’m so lonely without you at home…” his words almost sounded tender and affectionate if not for the cruel twist of his lips.
“You only cared that I was there when it suited you. I don’t really think you ever cared about me as more than an outlet.” Kyung sighed and shook his head, standing up and pushing passed his best friend. Because he’d always be his best friend, first and foremost, awkward situation notwithstanding. “You probably only just realized I was gone, so don’t bother. Whatever it was between us, it’s over.”
And even though Kyung was trying to walk away, go hide in his room and not look at the angry expression in his friend’s eyes or the stony countenance with which Minhyuk was regarding their interactions; Zico stopped him. Hand hard on his wrist, bruising as he pulled Kyung back to him, hand fisting into the back of Kyung’s hair to bring him around to face Zico.
“Is he better, hm? Does he taste better? Is his cock so much better than mine? I bet you’ve been planning this for months and it’s all for him right?” The words were spoken quietly, taunting as Zico looked at him with a cruel glint in his eyes. “Only I can use you the way you need it, only I can make you forget that you’re just a cock hungry slut who deserves nothing more than that.” And it was those cruel, drunken words that had Kyung snapping. He punched Zico square in the face, tears clouding his vision as the self-proclaimed genius fell away from him with a howl.
“I really hope you can remember this in the morning, and I really hope that you’ll feel guilty for pushing away the one person who still cares about your wellbeing. But right now, you need to get out of my house; skulk back to whatever bitch you’ve just come from and don’t talk to me for a good long while. It’s over Jiho and there’s nothing you can do about it nor is there any reason for you to know about my personal life any longer.” Kyung was shaking, his fists clenched as he spat at his friend and stalked off into the kitchen to break into the special expensive soju because he needed a real good swig of something strong.
From behind him, there was a slight scuffle, some ugly words exchanged between the drunken boy, and the dance teacher before silence reigned supreme. Kyung sighed deeply as he took another swig of the liquor before sealing the bottle again. He only jumped slightly when he felt Minhyuk’s hands slide up his back before sliding back down to wrap around his waist. It was comfort and that was all it was and all he needed. Nothing more and nothing less and all he wanted to do was relax and sink into Minhyuk’s heart until they both realized that there was actual love there. Not just platonic and not just made up feelings out of convenience.
“That was brave of you…I’m kind of surprised, but I’m proud.” There was a smile in Minhyuk’s voice and the sound of it made Kyung’s heart flutter. “What did he say anyways? I mean…you don’t have to tell me, but I’d like to know what had you reacting that way. It was kind of sexy, you know?” Kyung blushed slightly and turned around in Minhyuk’s arms to raise a brow at him. There hadn’t been anything beyond friendship between them, but maybe there could be more. When Kyung was ready of course.
“He implied that I was a slut who was sleeping with you so you’d take care of me and that I was so much better off letting him use me.” He shrugged slightly, looking down with pursed lips before he let out a sigh and shook his head. “I think he needs to see a therapist…there’s only so much seclusion someone can take before they drive themselves insane and he’s definitely done that.” He shook his head and looked up at Minhyuk, trying to gauge his reaction, wanting to see if the older man was disgusted with him or something. Because he had just that low of self-esteem that it would be what he worried about.
“Well, he definitely deserved that hit then. I hope you broke his nose.” Minhyuk smirked and then stepped back, taking Kyung’s hand and pulling him into the living area again. “Come on, let’s finish this movie and then maybe I can kick your ass at Dead or Alive again.” It didn’t sound like comfort, but through the entire movie, Minhyuk didn’t give Kyung’s hand back and he even let the younger male win a couple rounds of the fighting game too.
For: countrymir
Pairing:Minhyuk/Kyung; Slight Zico/Kyung
Rating:PG for some bad language
Word Count: 2,422
Summary: Loving Zico is difficult but loving Minhyuk is just too easy.
Notes/Warnings: Ugh, I hope this is good for you, I was so brain dead for this.
Loving Zico was unforgiveable. It was the worst thing he’d chosen to do in his life, and of course, it was a decision. It wasn’t like falling love because you can’t help it; it was like choosing to be with someone because it was convenient. Because you didn’t want to be lonely, you just wanted to be with someone and say you had someone. And there was the physical aspect; there was the being tired of pretending to be in love with every set of honey thighs to cross his path and the trying to deny that every set of chocolate abs made him hard.
He probably could have opted out at any time, could have decided it would be better to be just friends. That the cold sex wasn’t even what he’d wanted out of it, that he could have found better walking the streets and club life. But he hadn’t because he’d put it into his mind that he loved Zico. That Zico loved him in his own self-absorbed, super controlling way. That even though things had always been on his terms, the talented older boy had some modicum of feelings for him as something other than a stress outlet.
It took meeting Minhyuk and becoming increasingly close to the older man as Zico became increasingly distant from him to realize it wasn’t healthy. It was hard and it took a lot of convincing for him to figure out what was best for him. Even with the trouble he had in dealing with Zico’s fits of OCD and long periods of locking himself away only to yell if Kyung dared to try to get him to do anything other than be a creative genius. The sex that rarely happened became rougher and more of a way for Zico to get some sort of satisfaction from something that wasn’t his palm, at the expense of Kyung’s own pleasure.
Minhyuk was supportive the entire time, really only trying to help out a friend who was struggling with life, though it was obvious that there was more there. Minhyuk didn’t hide his feelings or protect
them; he wore them on his sleeve and that was just what was so perfect about him. He was real, he was honest, and it was so easy to fall so deeply and hopelessly in love, even platonically. In fact, it was difficult not to feel something for the older dancer.
These were the thoughts running through Kyung’s mind as he packed his bags and made to leave the apartment he’d all but moved into with Zico at the beginning of their kind of relationship. It was only a few changes of clothes that usually stayed there when Kyung decided to spend the night, even after the distancing began. It was barely a duffel bag full and it was so easy because Zico was locked up in his homemade studio, closed off to the world and he probably wouldn’t even notice.
He left a note and then left the apartment, leaving the key on the counter as he slipped into his shoes and out of Zico’s romantic life for good. He didn’t really think that Zico would notice until he needed a release for his pent up sexual frustration.
Kyung didn’t really want to see his parents, which was really the only home he had at this point. So instead he went to Minhyuk’s, knocked on the door, and then sat on the stoop to wait for the dancer to get home. He didn’t really have any other plans anyways; usually he’d just make himself available for Zico. Which wasn’t really his style; thinking about it now, he realized that it had never been a healthy relationship. Maybe as friends it had been, when they’d still been close like they had been in elementary, but not anymore or in the recent past.
He sighed softly, resting his head on the tops of his knees, fingers absently playing with the strap on his duffel bag underneath his legs. It was late but that was fine, he knew Minhyuk would be back at some point, he rarely spent the night away from his home. The older man was the type that was only ever comfortable in his own bed, under his own roof where he could let himself go. And true to form, just shortly after nine (only four hours since Kyung had gotten there) Minhyuk strode up to the door, looking mildly shocked.
“Kyung? What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t stay there….I don’t think Jiho would care either way…would notice at all really. But I just couldn’t handle being there if I wasn’t going to stay with him. It’s painful you know?” Kyung rubbed at his nose slightly, only just noticing he was shivering in the unseasonably cold weather; he’d been sitting there so long he’d probably just been used to it. He stood up and bit his lip slightly, looking down at his feet before looking up with a hopeful expression. “I hope you don’t mind….I’m imposing…but, I didn’t want to go home to my mum…she’d be too suffocating…” He wrinkled his nose slightly and then adjusted the glasses that he’d upset with the action.
Minhyuk stood still for a moment; thirty seconds at the most, as he pondered the situation before he was nodding. “Yeah of course, Kyung. I’d do anything for you, you know that right?” He smiled sweetly; as a friend would for anyone they cared about. Kyung didn’t read into it as anything more than that.
He nodded and smiled and picked up his bag, “I promise I’ll find my own place soon…I have enough money saved up from not needing to pay rent, it’s just…difficult.” He nodded his head, lips pursed and expression pensive as he avoided looking Minhyuk in the eye. He didn’t really want to find his own place, as much as it was the good thing to do. He was just so used to being with other people, he didn’t think he could handle being alone. Even though staying with Zico had hardly ever counted as being with someone.
“No, no, take your time Kyungie. I’m here for you, you know that.” Minhyuk ruffled the younger male’s hair before letting them into his quaint but spacious two bedroom home. Kyung had always felt comfortable here, never had there been a reason for him to not want to be in Minhyuk’s home or in Minhyuk’s presence. It had come to be some sort of a safe haven, somewhere that he didn’t have to worry about anything else but being himself and being happy.
It was a few days later, after spending a lot of time at the small record shop he worked at and scouring the market for relatively cheap apartments that Minhyuk brought up an idea. They’d been sitting at the kitchen table eating Chinese takeout and drinking cheap soju when the elder made the proposition. “Kyung-ah…listen, I know it’s been hard for you and you’ve been looking pretty hard so quickly but,” He paused, thinking as he chewed on a big bite of fried noodles. Kyung was hanging onto his every word. “Well, I know you don’t have much and I like having you here so…you could just call the spare bedroom yours and we’ll split on the bills and you can pay me a portion of my mortgage, if you want.”
Kyung stared at him for a moment, jaw hanging open. Because he’d been thinking about how to pose a question to arrange something similar just earlier that day. And it was something he figured would be easy and suit them both. He smiled at Minhyuk and nodded his head, “I would actually love that…I think it’s a great idea.” He nodded his head and Minhyuk smiled at him, finishing his noodles and stealing a hunk of Kyung’s chow mein.
“Great, I’ll make an itinerary of sorts and it can officially start next month, considering it’s almost there anyways.” Minhyuk nodded, reaching over the table to pat Kyung’s hand comfortingly before he went back to stuffing his face.
It was a month later, probably less than that, when Zico found him again. Like a never ending cycle, the reclusive boy came stumbling into Minhyuk’s place, drunk out of his mind and reeking of sweat and perfume. His expression was livid and Kyung absently wondered why he’d waited so long to find him when it had been so long since he’d left. Maybe Zico was just really clueless; and it also really sucked that he’d decided to come barging in on a night where he and Minhyuk were enjoying some quality time together and watching movies.
Minhyuk sighed softly when he opened the door to the tall boy, brow lifted but otherwise stoic to the dishevelled appearance (up close there were even lip stick stains on Zico’s collar). “Yes, Jiho?”
“Kyungie…why’d you leave? Why’re you here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Zico stumbled into the house, rudely leaving his shoes on as he made his way to the living area and to a suddenly frightened looking Kyung. It was never good when Zico drank, or rather, when he got drunk. He didn’t become violent per say, but his temper became a bit more explosive and his need to have his way and OCD became even more apparent.
“I left you a note…I’m sure you read it.” Kyung bit out the words stiffly, not even sure it made sense to try to talk reason into a drunken man.
“Why didn’t you come to me if you had a problem? I’m always here for you, baby.” Zico’s hands were grimy and rough feeling, probably from a night of DJing and drinking himself stupid. “I’m so lonely without you at home…” his words almost sounded tender and affectionate if not for the cruel twist of his lips.
“You only cared that I was there when it suited you. I don’t really think you ever cared about me as more than an outlet.” Kyung sighed and shook his head, standing up and pushing passed his best friend. Because he’d always be his best friend, first and foremost, awkward situation notwithstanding. “You probably only just realized I was gone, so don’t bother. Whatever it was between us, it’s over.”
And even though Kyung was trying to walk away, go hide in his room and not look at the angry expression in his friend’s eyes or the stony countenance with which Minhyuk was regarding their interactions; Zico stopped him. Hand hard on his wrist, bruising as he pulled Kyung back to him, hand fisting into the back of Kyung’s hair to bring him around to face Zico.
“Is he better, hm? Does he taste better? Is his cock so much better than mine? I bet you’ve been planning this for months and it’s all for him right?” The words were spoken quietly, taunting as Zico looked at him with a cruel glint in his eyes. “Only I can use you the way you need it, only I can make you forget that you’re just a cock hungry slut who deserves nothing more than that.” And it was those cruel, drunken words that had Kyung snapping. He punched Zico square in the face, tears clouding his vision as the self-proclaimed genius fell away from him with a howl.
“I really hope you can remember this in the morning, and I really hope that you’ll feel guilty for pushing away the one person who still cares about your wellbeing. But right now, you need to get out of my house; skulk back to whatever bitch you’ve just come from and don’t talk to me for a good long while. It’s over Jiho and there’s nothing you can do about it nor is there any reason for you to know about my personal life any longer.” Kyung was shaking, his fists clenched as he spat at his friend and stalked off into the kitchen to break into the special expensive soju because he needed a real good swig of something strong.
From behind him, there was a slight scuffle, some ugly words exchanged between the drunken boy, and the dance teacher before silence reigned supreme. Kyung sighed deeply as he took another swig of the liquor before sealing the bottle again. He only jumped slightly when he felt Minhyuk’s hands slide up his back before sliding back down to wrap around his waist. It was comfort and that was all it was and all he needed. Nothing more and nothing less and all he wanted to do was relax and sink into Minhyuk’s heart until they both realized that there was actual love there. Not just platonic and not just made up feelings out of convenience.
“That was brave of you…I’m kind of surprised, but I’m proud.” There was a smile in Minhyuk’s voice and the sound of it made Kyung’s heart flutter. “What did he say anyways? I mean…you don’t have to tell me, but I’d like to know what had you reacting that way. It was kind of sexy, you know?” Kyung blushed slightly and turned around in Minhyuk’s arms to raise a brow at him. There hadn’t been anything beyond friendship between them, but maybe there could be more. When Kyung was ready of course.
“He implied that I was a slut who was sleeping with you so you’d take care of me and that I was so much better off letting him use me.” He shrugged slightly, looking down with pursed lips before he let out a sigh and shook his head. “I think he needs to see a therapist…there’s only so much seclusion someone can take before they drive themselves insane and he’s definitely done that.” He shook his head and looked up at Minhyuk, trying to gauge his reaction, wanting to see if the older man was disgusted with him or something. Because he had just that low of self-esteem that it would be what he worried about.
“Well, he definitely deserved that hit then. I hope you broke his nose.” Minhyuk smirked and then stepped back, taking Kyung’s hand and pulling him into the living area again. “Come on, let’s finish this movie and then maybe I can kick your ass at Dead or Alive again.” It didn’t sound like comfort, but through the entire movie, Minhyuk didn’t give Kyung’s hand back and he even let the younger male win a couple rounds of the fighting game too.