(no subject)

Aug 24, 2004 09:57

*fills out a form*



Mandos Release Form
(incorporating general complaints against the management)

1. Your complaint:
[ ] Untimely death
[ ] Timely death
[ ] Untimely resurrection/rebirth
[ ] Unexplained transformation of body, including change in gender, age, species.
[X] Other Had my eyes gouged out.

2. Cause of aforementioned complaint
[ ] Self-inflicted
[ ] Caused by another, known individual
Please enter name of individual here: ________________
(Intentity of complainant will be kept private should legal issues arise)
[X] Of unknown cause

3. Requested action

[ ] Compensation to the sum of _______ to be paid into ___________(name of account held at Bank of Eru)

[X] Restoration to former self.

[ ] Resoration but with the following alterations:
[ ] Different colour eyes.
Please enter preferred eye colour__________
If eye colour unavailable, would you accept coloured contact lenses? [ ]Y [ ]N
[ ] Different gender
[ ] Larger breasts
[ ] Longer legs
[ ] Greater tolerance for alcohol
[ ] Improved intelligence*
[ ] To attract/impress more members of opposite sex*
[ ] To attract/impress members of same sex*

[ ] The knowledge that my complaint has been formally recognised is compensation enough for me.

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Please fill out the following section so that we know who is making use of our services and how we may tailor them to suit your needs!
[a]Full Name & Title Eönwë, Herald of Manwë and Commander of the Armies of the Valar
[b]Address
1, Tirion Road.
Tirion
[c]Next of kin Ilmarë (sister), Ilaya (spouse
[d]Race/KindredAinu.
[e]Length of residence in Aman Since the beginning
[f]Favourite colourYellow
[g]Preference:
Good [ ]
Evil [ ]
Eönwë [X]
[h]Any special skills Greatest at wielding weapons on Arda
[i]Average speed of a Winged NazgûlNot fast enough to escape me.
[j]Height of Mount Túna Ask Aulë
[k]Complete the following sentences:
1. Burritos are a major foodgroup.
2. If I ruled Aman for a day, I would do a better job than I've been doing till now.
3. Elves are quite fragile
4. Mortals are here for some reason.
5. Ainur are unpredictable
6. Námo is going to give me my eyes back.

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*Please note that the management will not accept responsibility for failure of resultant changes if you have a sucky personality.
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