So uh.
It occurs to me I should probably vent in a forum where the people in it aren't always expecting mr to be upbeat and I know they're not comfortable with me not liking myself very much so hum.
Yeah.
The thing is, I wouldn't be this upset if she had just called me or texted me and said "yeah so leaving the country, don't really want to try to be your friend again, bye." at least then I would have had some closure, something I could hang my hat on and say "well, that's over." and get on with it without wondering if maybe today was the day she'd have decided it was enough time, or maybe she'd make a fucking effort and I don't know, show me some damn respect. I would have thought I was worth at least that much. But no, I hear it fourth hand from someone I love very much and I feel so bad that I made her feel bad about telling me, when I asked to know and should have been prepared for the response.
She was family. Fuck, that hurts to type. She was family and I don't know what I did or what I said because apparently I'm not even worth a see you later have fun email or whatever and you know what the sick thing is?
My main concern was "what if she gets sick? I hope she has health insurance over there because if she gets sick again she's fucked."
Fuck. She was my sister and I didn't deserve to be treated like that.
Yeah.
The thing is, I wouldn't be this upset if she had just called me or texted me and said "yeah so leaving the country, don't really want to try to be your friend again, bye." at least then I would have had some closure, something I could hang my hat on and say "well, that's over." and get on with it without wondering if maybe today was the day she'd have decided it was enough time, or maybe she'd make a fucking effort and I don't know, show me some damn respect. I would have thought I was worth at least that much. But no, I hear it fourth hand from someone I love very much and I feel so bad that I made her feel bad about telling me, when I asked to know and should have been prepared for the response.
She was family. Fuck, that hurts to type. She was family and I don't know what I did or what I said because apparently I'm not even worth a see you later have fun email or whatever and you know what the sick thing is?
My main concern was "what if she gets sick? I hope she has health insurance over there because if she gets sick again she's fucked."
Fuck. She was my sister and I didn't deserve to be treated like that.