[smapfic] Truly the One for Me is You. 11 flashes of afterglow
another one, lol. happy smap day.
Truly the One for Me is You
11 flashes of afterglow
i.
“Shingo...” it’s barely a whisper, as Tsuyoshi catches breath and suddenly gets embarrassed about all these things he said - gasped - groaned out moments ago, how they floated freely out of some place in him he’d never have thought he’d be able to open (minus the ones he’s learnt from porn) and how he meant each and every one of them. But Shingo’s face beneath him is glowing, grinning and happy and Shingo pulls him down for a kiss, telling him that, “Tsuyopon, you’re amazing. Tsuyopon,” and another kiss, and then Tsuyoshi lets the insecurities go.
When he passes Shingo the tissues, Shingo never lets Tsuyoshi’s arm go and there is nothing Tsuyoshi can do other than go to sleep curled up against his wide chest and even if tomorrow they wake up apart, limbs spread and sheets tangled because they’re both messy sleepers, they will both wake up in the same bed and Tsuyoshi never wants it any other way.
ii.
“Mhmmmmgod,” Goro rolls onto his back next to Takuya and it’s like they’re both soft and warm, but now Takuya can see the purple marks he’s left on Goro’s hips and he scoots lower to inspect them. He was gripping too hard, he knows, and he feels a little something like apologetic, in this haze of feeling good and well fucked in general, and he leans in to trace the soon-to-be bruises with his lips.
Goro’s way too proficient at reading him by now.
“Never mind that, I liked it. Put your mouth to some better use.”
Takuya cocks an eyebrow at him from the level of Goro’s hipbone.
“Seriously? You want another blowjob already?”
“I mean to kiss me, idiot,” Goro huffs and pulls him up as Takuya laughs so loud and clear like everything he does, and the kissing tastes like that loud and clear laugh too, and okay, maybe Goro wants that blowjob already now yes.
iii.
They fall on the mattress in a bundle of limbs and remaining clothes and there’s no way Nakai can detangle himself when he feels like all life, to the tiniest drop, has just flown out of him (and maybe it’s glistening on Tsuyoshi’s thighs and stomach right now and Nakai makes a mental note to absolutely clean up before they fall asleep but he just can’t move right now).
“Nakai-kun,” Tsuyoshi slurs somewhere into his neck. “This... this isn’t juss’cause we’re... drunk, right?”
“What?”
“The sex. ‘Cause, yanno, I like you, Nakai-kun.”
Nakai sighs and wonders how drunk Tsuyoshi is exactly and if he should remind him that he confessed a month ago and then Nakai spent some time being a coward but then they’ve been dating and that Nakai likes him too, but maybe they should just talk about it tomorrow because yawn there’s something Nakai was supposed to remember about but yaaawn what was it...
“Tsuyoshi. Sleep.”
iv.
“Kimura-kun. Again.”
“God. Shingo. Just, a moment. I’m human.”
“No way.”
“What?”
“You’re human? I wouldn’t have told.”
“You want to sleep on the floor, don’t you?”
Shingo makes that face that means he was fully aware it’d piss Kimura off and he didn’t want to do that but he kind of did. He’s still feeling like he’s high and he can’t help feeling greedy.
Kimura rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in the pillow. Shingo tires him out. Shingo is big, stubborn and always wants more, and Shingo’s idea of more usually means that he lies back lazily and lets Kimura fuck him, ride him, suck him, he’ll take whatever Kimura feels like giving.
Although maybe not this time.
“Shingo. Stop groping my ass.”
“Why?”
“Because. I said, stop-ooh.”
He bites on the pillow and he can hear the grin in Shingo’s voice. “You were saying?”
“...keep doing that.”
v.
“You give amazing blowjobs, Goro-san.”
“So I’ve been told.”
Goro grins at him from behind the hand he’s wiping his mouth off with. Tsuyoshi thinks he gets to see Goro that isn’t for everyone to see, thoughtless, self-centred Goro that is being so good to him right now - and uncharacteristically eager; even if he never loses that sort of politeness that Tsuyoshi finds familiar about him and that lets him get up from his knees, brush the dust off his pants and look like a perfect gentleman (a gentleman with his cock out, but still). Tsuyoshi doesn’t need to look in the mirror to know his own cheeks are red, hair dishevelled and he’s a walking image of depravation and dammit, Goro is ready to go and leaves the dressing room telling him to hurry up and Kimura is so going to glare at him for being late again, oh shit.
vi.
Nakai waits for Shingo to let go. And he waits.
“Shingo. You’re heavy.”
“You’re just too tiny,” Shingo says but he does let go. Nakai glares. “You know I didn’t mean that,” Shingo amends, laughing. Nakai won’t tell him that it’s not that, he just doesn’t like being reminded how petite he is, particularly not by Shingo, whose big sweaty body wraps around him once more, arm in a loose embrace to let Nakai breathe and Nakai hates how it makes him feel like a fucking girl.
(Or a fucked girl, if he cares about details.)
“Nakai-kun. Don’t sneak out while I’m asleep this time.”
Nakai sighs. He tells himself there’s nothing he can do and they spoiled Shingo too much, the four of them, and before they noticed, Shingo’s just outgrown them all, in more than one way - and he better not be hoping for Nakai to make him breakfast tomorrow because Nakai is totally not making any.
vii.
Their breaths still feel like one when Kimura releases Tsuyoshi’s wrists, rubbing his thumb at the skin that’s reddened in his grip. Forming coherent sentences seems beyond Tsuyoshi’s abilities at this point, but then it’s often beyond Tsuyoshi’s abilities so Kimura won’t take much credit. Times like these he thinks they should talk more, but he ends up getting in Tsuyoshi’s pants whenever they try.
Speaking of pants, where are his? He lost control so much he doesn’t even know when or where he stripped and he realises reluctantly that for once he’s with Tsuyoshi in the land of linguistic problems because he can’t find any words he could say.
Maybe it’s a sexually transmitted disease.
“This was... wow,” Tsuyoshi finally utters.
Kimura gives him a crooked grin and crawls onto the couch, pulling Tsuyoshi off the floor too. They should at least move their conversations onto some more comfortable surface.
viii.
Their bodies part the moment they’re done, like any unnecessary touch will burn, letting the sweet exhaustion settle in their bones with their backs to each other; just breathing.
One of the things Nakai appreciates about Kimura is that he doesn’t hold onto false affection, when they both know they’ve worn themselves out down to the raw meat over the years and it would only be like rubbing salt.
Usually Nakai counts in his head to fifty before he starts pulling his clothes back on so that it doesn’t look like he’s fleeing, but this time, maybe it’s just that he’s getting old, he doesn’t feel like getting up yet.
“Kimura...” he’s trying it out.
“Hmm?” Kimura’s voice doesn’t sound like he’s in a hurry to be somewhere else either.
“...nothing.”
A second later a packet of cigarettes hits his shoulder.
“Thanks,” Nakai says, picking it up and covering his head because Kimura’s heavy lighter will be coming next.
ix.
It’s not like Nakai suddenly wants to hold him or something; he just needs to catch his breath and that is why he leans into Goro heavily and-
“Ow ow ow,” Goro yelps. “Careful, my leg!”
Nakai notices Goro’s leg that he is still holding up at an angle that looks rather uncomfortable. He helps him detach himself and stand down on the floor. Goro slightly sways on his feet.
“This sex in toilets and other weird places thing is getting ridiculous,” Goro says.
Nakai wants to point out he wasn’t the one who started it, but he isn’t sure who started it.
But then Goro is talking about going to dinner for once and Nakai has to roll his eyes because this is starting to look like a major misunderstanding.
“We’re fucking, Inagaki. We’re not dating.”
“I thought you had feelings for me?”
“Sure. I hate you. Hate is a feeling.”
Goro just huffs. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
x.
“Look what you did. You just spoiled our bath,” Shingo says disapprovingly.
“What? You came in it. Technically, you spoiled it.”
“You made me,” Shingo says and Goro just giggles into his wet shoulder. Then he isn’t giggling because water hits his face, Shingo splashing him mercilessly like a kid in the swimming pool and Goro is yelling at him to stop, he doesn’t want the cummy water on his hair. Shingo’s loud laugh reverberates off the tiled walls because did you just say cummy? Goro’s glare as he’s desperately trying to sort out his dripping locks currently stuck to his forehead is icy.
Shingo just splashes him again until Goro looks like he might be drowning and then he’s angry and won’t talk to Shingo, so Shingo apologises and tells him to sit on the edge of the tub. And then he makes it all up to him and the only thing Goro has to say is oh god oh god.
21.
“I’m done with Goro,” Shingo announces unnecessarily, because they’re all lying in a more or less debauched state of breathlessness and no one’s moving anymore. “Anyone wants him?”
“Hey!” Goro protests, swatting at... whichever part of Shingo it is he’s hit. He isn’t sure and he doesn’t care enough to look.
“Kimura,” Nakai growls in a low voice. “Mind pulling the fuck out already?”
“You promise you won’t run to your room the moment I let you go?”
Nakai glares into Kimura’s hair because that’s all he can see.
“I love you,” Tsuyoshi announces from under Shingo’s arm.
“Who is he talking to?” Kimura turns away for a moment from the tricky task of pinning Nakai’s hands down.
“Who are you talking to, Tsuyoshi?” Goro asks, the resident stand-in for the missing connection between Tsuyoshi and the world.
“All of you.”
“Kimura, I mean it, fuck off.”
“I’m asking for the last time, who hasn’t had Goro yet?”
xxx
Truly the One for Me is You
11 flashes of afterglow
i.
“Shingo...” it’s barely a whisper, as Tsuyoshi catches breath and suddenly gets embarrassed about all these things he said - gasped - groaned out moments ago, how they floated freely out of some place in him he’d never have thought he’d be able to open (minus the ones he’s learnt from porn) and how he meant each and every one of them. But Shingo’s face beneath him is glowing, grinning and happy and Shingo pulls him down for a kiss, telling him that, “Tsuyopon, you’re amazing. Tsuyopon,” and another kiss, and then Tsuyoshi lets the insecurities go.
When he passes Shingo the tissues, Shingo never lets Tsuyoshi’s arm go and there is nothing Tsuyoshi can do other than go to sleep curled up against his wide chest and even if tomorrow they wake up apart, limbs spread and sheets tangled because they’re both messy sleepers, they will both wake up in the same bed and Tsuyoshi never wants it any other way.
ii.
“Mhmmmmgod,” Goro rolls onto his back next to Takuya and it’s like they’re both soft and warm, but now Takuya can see the purple marks he’s left on Goro’s hips and he scoots lower to inspect them. He was gripping too hard, he knows, and he feels a little something like apologetic, in this haze of feeling good and well fucked in general, and he leans in to trace the soon-to-be bruises with his lips.
Goro’s way too proficient at reading him by now.
“Never mind that, I liked it. Put your mouth to some better use.”
Takuya cocks an eyebrow at him from the level of Goro’s hipbone.
“Seriously? You want another blowjob already?”
“I mean to kiss me, idiot,” Goro huffs and pulls him up as Takuya laughs so loud and clear like everything he does, and the kissing tastes like that loud and clear laugh too, and okay, maybe Goro wants that blowjob already now yes.
iii.
They fall on the mattress in a bundle of limbs and remaining clothes and there’s no way Nakai can detangle himself when he feels like all life, to the tiniest drop, has just flown out of him (and maybe it’s glistening on Tsuyoshi’s thighs and stomach right now and Nakai makes a mental note to absolutely clean up before they fall asleep but he just can’t move right now).
“Nakai-kun,” Tsuyoshi slurs somewhere into his neck. “This... this isn’t juss’cause we’re... drunk, right?”
“What?”
“The sex. ‘Cause, yanno, I like you, Nakai-kun.”
Nakai sighs and wonders how drunk Tsuyoshi is exactly and if he should remind him that he confessed a month ago and then Nakai spent some time being a coward but then they’ve been dating and that Nakai likes him too, but maybe they should just talk about it tomorrow because yawn there’s something Nakai was supposed to remember about but yaaawn what was it...
“Tsuyoshi. Sleep.”
iv.
“Kimura-kun. Again.”
“God. Shingo. Just, a moment. I’m human.”
“No way.”
“What?”
“You’re human? I wouldn’t have told.”
“You want to sleep on the floor, don’t you?”
Shingo makes that face that means he was fully aware it’d piss Kimura off and he didn’t want to do that but he kind of did. He’s still feeling like he’s high and he can’t help feeling greedy.
Kimura rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in the pillow. Shingo tires him out. Shingo is big, stubborn and always wants more, and Shingo’s idea of more usually means that he lies back lazily and lets Kimura fuck him, ride him, suck him, he’ll take whatever Kimura feels like giving.
Although maybe not this time.
“Shingo. Stop groping my ass.”
“Why?”
“Because. I said, stop-ooh.”
He bites on the pillow and he can hear the grin in Shingo’s voice. “You were saying?”
“...keep doing that.”
v.
“You give amazing blowjobs, Goro-san.”
“So I’ve been told.”
Goro grins at him from behind the hand he’s wiping his mouth off with. Tsuyoshi thinks he gets to see Goro that isn’t for everyone to see, thoughtless, self-centred Goro that is being so good to him right now - and uncharacteristically eager; even if he never loses that sort of politeness that Tsuyoshi finds familiar about him and that lets him get up from his knees, brush the dust off his pants and look like a perfect gentleman (a gentleman with his cock out, but still). Tsuyoshi doesn’t need to look in the mirror to know his own cheeks are red, hair dishevelled and he’s a walking image of depravation and dammit, Goro is ready to go and leaves the dressing room telling him to hurry up and Kimura is so going to glare at him for being late again, oh shit.
vi.
Nakai waits for Shingo to let go. And he waits.
“Shingo. You’re heavy.”
“You’re just too tiny,” Shingo says but he does let go. Nakai glares. “You know I didn’t mean that,” Shingo amends, laughing. Nakai won’t tell him that it’s not that, he just doesn’t like being reminded how petite he is, particularly not by Shingo, whose big sweaty body wraps around him once more, arm in a loose embrace to let Nakai breathe and Nakai hates how it makes him feel like a fucking girl.
(Or a fucked girl, if he cares about details.)
“Nakai-kun. Don’t sneak out while I’m asleep this time.”
Nakai sighs. He tells himself there’s nothing he can do and they spoiled Shingo too much, the four of them, and before they noticed, Shingo’s just outgrown them all, in more than one way - and he better not be hoping for Nakai to make him breakfast tomorrow because Nakai is totally not making any.
vii.
Their breaths still feel like one when Kimura releases Tsuyoshi’s wrists, rubbing his thumb at the skin that’s reddened in his grip. Forming coherent sentences seems beyond Tsuyoshi’s abilities at this point, but then it’s often beyond Tsuyoshi’s abilities so Kimura won’t take much credit. Times like these he thinks they should talk more, but he ends up getting in Tsuyoshi’s pants whenever they try.
Speaking of pants, where are his? He lost control so much he doesn’t even know when or where he stripped and he realises reluctantly that for once he’s with Tsuyoshi in the land of linguistic problems because he can’t find any words he could say.
Maybe it’s a sexually transmitted disease.
“This was... wow,” Tsuyoshi finally utters.
Kimura gives him a crooked grin and crawls onto the couch, pulling Tsuyoshi off the floor too. They should at least move their conversations onto some more comfortable surface.
viii.
Their bodies part the moment they’re done, like any unnecessary touch will burn, letting the sweet exhaustion settle in their bones with their backs to each other; just breathing.
One of the things Nakai appreciates about Kimura is that he doesn’t hold onto false affection, when they both know they’ve worn themselves out down to the raw meat over the years and it would only be like rubbing salt.
Usually Nakai counts in his head to fifty before he starts pulling his clothes back on so that it doesn’t look like he’s fleeing, but this time, maybe it’s just that he’s getting old, he doesn’t feel like getting up yet.
“Kimura...” he’s trying it out.
“Hmm?” Kimura’s voice doesn’t sound like he’s in a hurry to be somewhere else either.
“...nothing.”
A second later a packet of cigarettes hits his shoulder.
“Thanks,” Nakai says, picking it up and covering his head because Kimura’s heavy lighter will be coming next.
ix.
It’s not like Nakai suddenly wants to hold him or something; he just needs to catch his breath and that is why he leans into Goro heavily and-
“Ow ow ow,” Goro yelps. “Careful, my leg!”
Nakai notices Goro’s leg that he is still holding up at an angle that looks rather uncomfortable. He helps him detach himself and stand down on the floor. Goro slightly sways on his feet.
“This sex in toilets and other weird places thing is getting ridiculous,” Goro says.
Nakai wants to point out he wasn’t the one who started it, but he isn’t sure who started it.
But then Goro is talking about going to dinner for once and Nakai has to roll his eyes because this is starting to look like a major misunderstanding.
“We’re fucking, Inagaki. We’re not dating.”
“I thought you had feelings for me?”
“Sure. I hate you. Hate is a feeling.”
Goro just huffs. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
x.
“Look what you did. You just spoiled our bath,” Shingo says disapprovingly.
“What? You came in it. Technically, you spoiled it.”
“You made me,” Shingo says and Goro just giggles into his wet shoulder. Then he isn’t giggling because water hits his face, Shingo splashing him mercilessly like a kid in the swimming pool and Goro is yelling at him to stop, he doesn’t want the cummy water on his hair. Shingo’s loud laugh reverberates off the tiled walls because did you just say cummy? Goro’s glare as he’s desperately trying to sort out his dripping locks currently stuck to his forehead is icy.
Shingo just splashes him again until Goro looks like he might be drowning and then he’s angry and won’t talk to Shingo, so Shingo apologises and tells him to sit on the edge of the tub. And then he makes it all up to him and the only thing Goro has to say is oh god oh god.
21.
“I’m done with Goro,” Shingo announces unnecessarily, because they’re all lying in a more or less debauched state of breathlessness and no one’s moving anymore. “Anyone wants him?”
“Hey!” Goro protests, swatting at... whichever part of Shingo it is he’s hit. He isn’t sure and he doesn’t care enough to look.
“Kimura,” Nakai growls in a low voice. “Mind pulling the fuck out already?”
“You promise you won’t run to your room the moment I let you go?”
Nakai glares into Kimura’s hair because that’s all he can see.
“I love you,” Tsuyoshi announces from under Shingo’s arm.
“Who is he talking to?” Kimura turns away for a moment from the tricky task of pinning Nakai’s hands down.
“Who are you talking to, Tsuyoshi?” Goro asks, the resident stand-in for the missing connection between Tsuyoshi and the world.
“All of you.”
“Kimura, I mean it, fuck off.”
“I’m asking for the last time, who hasn’t had Goro yet?”
xxx