Arden/Lethe: ZOMG Assassins D|

[mamorunooni]

Tracking him down had been surprisingly easy. For an assassin, he certainly didn't bother to ensure he wasn't followed. Sneaking into the house he was staying at was only slightly more difficult. Being silent enough that he wouldn't wake up to her walking into his room, a little more.

The problem had been striking him down.

Not because he had awoken - no, he was still asleep, oblivious to the dagger being held dangerously close to his neck. It was closing the distance between the blade and his skin that turned out to be the most difficult part. The other was berating herself - she should have done this sooner. She shouldn't have let this emotional self develop any attachments. She shouldn't have let her say anything. This man was an obstacle, and he should have been dead from the moment he was no longer necessary-

Lethe closed her eyes. She had to do this - the cult would not be forgiving of her, or him, for that matter, if she didn't. He was no different from the countless others she had struck down. Still, it wasn't his flesh that the dagger cut - instead, it was the side of the pillow that she'd tore open in frustration, sending feathers flying across his face.

The irony of once having mentally mocked him for his failure didn't escape her.

Arden had no reason to suspect anyone would follow him to his private home. Indeed, no one except the King and those few that Arden trusted knew exactly where he lived within the maze of apartments in the seemingly run-down complex he lived within.

Arden had no reason to believe that his life was in danger. He had no reason to imagine just how close he was to being ended right then.

The strange sensation of feathers on his face woke him with a start, and he reacted automatically. His hand reached under what was left of his pillow quickly as he rolled off to the side of the bed, drawing the dagger that he kept there for just such a contingency.

When he stood up and brought the dagger to bear, ready to kill whomever had just tried to kill him, he nearly dropped it.

"... Lethe?!"

"I told you," she murmured, the hand holding the dagger falling to a rest at her side. "You don't know anything about me."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him, or at anything in particular. She'd failed to kill him - it was the end of her. If he didn't kill her there and then, the cult would kill her for betraying them. They would find out, there was no doubt about it. Now that he knew she was an assassin, she would either have to leave the city or abandon the idea of killing Symond Lenster - because, she knew, she wouldn't be able to kill him. If she couldn't do it while he was asleep... she wouldn't be able to do it with him looking at her, now, would she?

Arden kept his dagger in a ready position. He chided himself mentally as she spoke. His face took on a pained expression. She was right. He knew nothing about her. He should have known better.

"Now would be a good time to tell me who you are," he said after a moment.

The bedsheet he was wearing sliding off was the only other sound that came from him.

"I can't." She threw the dagger onto the bed. "I can't..."

If she told him, there was no telling what could happen to him, or to anyone else he relayed the secret to. She was already a goner - there was no need to take anyone else with her.

When did I become so weak?

Arden's eyes followed the dagger she tossed away for a moment, but quickly trained them back on her. Just because a would-be assassin discarded one weapon, it didn't mean there weren't possibly others.

"You just tried to kill me. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't return the favor." His voice was cold, harsh. The sound of a man that wasn't bluffing. Though Arden was slightly surprised at his own further show of weakness.

Were this anyone else, he would have simply covered the distance and ended their life while they were defenseless.

Why didn't he do it now?

"There aren't any reasons." Yes, she did have more weapons on her, but that didn't matter. They were all as good as a dulled knife as it was.

"Goodbye, then," he said simply as he covered the distance between them and thrust the dagger...

She had to move for the dagger to actually pierce her flesh - and regrettably, only her shoulder. Lethe had wanted it to kill her - end it there, so that she didn't have to face him, or the cult, or live with the shame of her own failure.

Coward, the other hissed. You're a coward.

"You missed," she said after a moment, her voice unaltered in spite of the sharp pain from the stab. "Try again."

Arden grit his teeth. Did she want to die? More to the point, why couldn't he just end her in the first place?

Arden jerked the dagger from her shoulder. He reached down and took one of her hands and all but slapped the dagger into it.

"You first."

It had been a while since the last time a wound of hers had bled so much. Not enough that it'd be fatal, but more than others had managed.

"I can't," she said in response, the dagger slipping from her fingers. I suppose I am a coward.

Arden didn't know why that made him so angry, but it did.

His hands balled up into fists, and he fough tthe urge to strike her.

"Why?" he almost spat, managing to keep his tone of voice somewhere between angry, confused and disappointed.

"I've failed to kill you by my own blade... I'm not going to kill you by having you know the truth." She closed her eyes, unmoving. "It will be safer for yourself and your sister if you strike me down now. If anyone comes for me... they could come for you too."

"Who?" he asked, fiercely. "Why did you try to kill me? What makes you think they won't send anyone after me after I kill you anyway?"

"They're not interested in you. You were just in my way. But... should they find out that I failed to kill you, you'll be in their way, too." As for who... no, she couldn't tell him. They had lived in secrecy for over seven hundred years. They wouldn't fail to dispose of him if he knew - there was no doubt about it.

"So if I'll be in their way, they'll be after me anyway after I kill you." Not if. After.

"Tell me who. It's the only way I can be ready for them."

"You won't be unless they know I failed to kill you. If you were a threat, you'd have been eliminated by the previous agent." Why was he just asking questions? If he was going to kill her, there were other, more effective ways to get information out of her than this...

"They're going to know you failed when I go back to my work in the morning" he took her arm, perhaps a bit more forcefully than he would have liked, even given the circumstances. "You didn't kill me for a reason. I'd like to know what it was."

"They don't know I was going to kill you." She flinched when he took her arm - the wound on her shoulder hurt a little more than she would've liked. "Because I'm weak."

He was an obstacle because she had allowed herself to grow attached to him.

Arden noted the blood flowing from her shoulder. But he had decided not to do anything about it. Not yet. He squeezed her arm just a little tighter.

"I don't want to have to hurt you so that you tell me who 'they' are. But I will if I have to. So please. Tell me who they are. And why you tried to kill me."

One last chance. Just one.

But why was she even giving her this chance to begin with? If it had been anyone else they'd be dead, or close to it by now.

"I can't tell you, for the same reason I couldn't kill you, for the same reason I tried to kill you." She was starting to lose her calm - this had never happened before! How could this man turn her into - this?

"Fine," he said, and with just a very tiny hesitation- one that he himself realized wouldn't have been there at any other time, his other hand came up.

Jamming a thumb into an open, bleeding wound would be very, very painful.

She bit down into her lip, hard enough to draw blood, to prevent herself from screaming. The tears rolled down her cheeks before she could even think of attempting to hold them back. Still, she couldn't tell him - she was too fond of this man to tell him the truth. Remaining ignorant was the only way for him to have a chance at staying alive... and if she couldn't kill him, she certainly did not want anyone else doing it.

"I can't tell you," she managed, fighting back the urge to push him away.

Arden felt something different, as he wrenched his thumb deeper, twisting it and then strengthening his grip both on her arm and on her shoulder as he pressed her against the wall.

Something akin to remorse.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

This time around, her lip wasn't enough to hold back the scream - although it came out muffled between her lips. Why was he insisting? There was no point in him knowing what her personal reasons were. She had betrayed him, wasn't that knowledge enough?

"Because I love you," she said after a moment between short, quick breaths. It was the only truth she could offer him, although it wasn't one she'd wanted to admit, or even understand. The other hated it, but she couldn't deny feeling the same way. For the first time, it was something she hadn't made up, and she hated herself - all of herself - for it. "I'm weak. I let my emotions interfere."

Arden's eyes went wide. His grip relaxed, his thumb came out of her wound. And he just... stared at her.

She loved him? She... loved him?

He couldn't quite wrap his brain around that notion.

His eyes focused on the wound on her shoulder. "Sit down. I'll... take care of that," he turned away quickly, suddenly, trying to focus on the task now at hand. Find his first-aid kit. Patch up that wound.

She did fall into a sitting position against the wall, but not because he had instructed her to do so. Her knees had failed her - could she have become any more pathetic than this? Failing to get rid of an obstacle, falling in love, letting herself get injured, scream and cry in front of an attacker, and now she couldn't even stand. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! Not one tenth the assassin her sister had turned out to be... not worth one minute of the time that had been spent on her training. They would come to dispose of her - there was no doubt about it.

"No. I have... to leave." Nevermind that she couldn't stand up now if she tried.

He returned quickly with a small wooden box, chock-full of the essentials to patch up injuries on one hand, and a small bowl of water on the other. "You're not going anywhere. At least not until I fix that." He set the box down and went to work, ripping her garment to have a better work area. He said nothing as he cleaned up the wound, applied disifectant, and then began to stitch the wound. He said nothing as he worked, still trying to recover from the impact of what she'd just told him.

"It won't matter. I'm a dead woman now." Still, she didn't stop him. The pain had all but numbed the area - she could barely feel him stitching up her wound at this point. "I need to get out of this city before they come for me..."

Arden shook his head. "You think I'm going to just let you go to die after..." He grit his teeth and took a sharp breath as he continued stitching. "They'll kill you over my dead body."

"I could have lied to you again." Not that she had lied, but still! How could he say that after finding out that she'd lied to him? That she'd betrayed his trust and tried to kill him?

"Whoever you are, you're good. Maybe I wanted to believe your lies. Maybe that's why I got drawn in." His eyes focused on the stiching. "The thought that you lied just then has crossed my mind. Part of me wants you to be lying." He finished stitching, and cut the thread.

"But then I get to the part where I can't think of a logical reason for you to have me dead to rights and then not suddenly not finish the job."

Lethe shook her head, bringing a hand over the now stitched wound. "I'm no one." Forcing herself to her feet, she leaned against the wall for a moment, her legs still not quite cooperating. "Just the dulled blade of a knife."

Arden stood up along with her. "You're Lethe. And I can't just kill you... or let you go. Because... I love you, too," he admitted, the words coming out stilted, as any admission of a weakness would. "Dragons damn it all," he cursed through grit teeth.

"No, you love the girl I crafted for you. She... doesn't exist." That hurt to say. More than his questioning had. A... different kind of pain, one she definitely wasn't used to. For a moment, she envied Lethe - she envied the persona she'd created. Lethe had been much happier and much more fortunate than she had ever been. Then again, who was she? No name, no identity, just a job. And now that she'd failed at it...

She really had become pathetic, it seemed. This one, and the other one... all of them, equally pathetic.

"If she doesn't exist, then who fell in love with me? Who couldn't strike the killing blow?"

"No one..." She looked away from him, down at the floor. This was ridiculous... "I don't have a name. I don't have a self. I change when there's need... that's all that I am."

Arden felt saddened by what he was hearing. "No. That's not all that you are." He cupped her chin with one hand and coaxed her face upwards, to look at him. "If Lethe was a complete lie, then 'no one' should have been able to kill me. But I'm still alive. So whoever you are... You're still Lethe."

She jerked her head away. No, she wasn't Lethe. She didn't know who she was - but it wasn't Lethe. Lethe was a little naive, friendly, outspoken, frank. She... was none of it. "I need to go."

"No," he put a hand on her shoulder. "You don't. You chose to leave me my life. I'm not going to let you go and lose yours."

"We'll both lose our lives if I stay here." Why didn't he kill her? Why was he being understanding? Didn't he hate her for lying? He couldn't just forgive her like that - it made no sense! Was Lethe so important to him that he'd be willing to convince himself that a no-one was her?

"You got as close as you did because I let you," he said softly. "There's a reason why I have my job. I'm not that easy to fool. At least, not all the time," he smirked slightly. "I won't let you simply be killed. Not without a fight," he shook his head. "I don't care what you say to try to convince yourself. Even if Lethe was simply a created persona... there is always something of the person that we are in them. If there wasn't some of Lethe within you, whomever you are... then I'd be dead right now."

He let her shoulder go. "I love you. Or at least, the truth that hides behind the lie."

She exhaled, shook her head, glanced at him briefly before returning her gaze to the floor. "The woman who killed Terre Lenster was my sister. I'm her substitute. I'm here to keep an eye on and off Symond Lenster if necessary."

Arden's eyes went wide. That woman...

That woman was her sister?

"... I never did trust that damnable woman," he muttered under his breath. "Who? Who gave you and your sister your orders?" He was going to insist on this. "They were my enemy to begin with. Now they're going to be yours. Might as well join forces, right?"

"They're not my enemy," she pointed out, looking back at him. "I failed them. I've betrayed their trust. If they told me to kill you, I couldn't... but if they told me to kill Symond Lenster... I would have." Lethe frowned. "Just as you would have killed anyone who was a threat to current King Lenster's life."

"Who are 'they'?" he asked again. And he couldn't exactly deny what she just said. He'd hav eto kill her, too, if it came down to it.

Probably.

"Why did they have King Terre killed? Why would they possibly want King Symond dead? Why would they not be your enemy if they're going to want to kill you now?"

"They'll want to kill me because I betrayed them. I let myself become attached to an outsider. I strayed from the path that was designed for me. They can't afford to keep someone like me. It's... just the way it works." She paused, unsure of whether to tell him any more. Any and all knowledge about the cult in the hands of an outsider was... 'dangerous' didn't begin to cover it.

But...

"It's a form of payback for something that was done to them in the past. I can't explain. It's dangerous knowledge."

Arden's lips pressed into a tight line. They way she said it made it sound like some sort of underground organization. But there was little in Lenster that he didn't know about, even if only in outline. "Who are they? What was done to them, and how are the Kings of Lenster involved?" No, he wasn't going to let it go. After all, Arden was pretty dangerous, himself.

"If you've betrayed them and they're going to kill you, how does that not make them your enemy?" he frowned, trying to get her to see the fallacy in that statement that they weren't their enemy. "I'm not going to let them, whoever they are."

"I just... don't care to fight them. It's not worth the effort."

She couldn't tell him. If anyone found out he knew - "I can't say anything more. I've already said too much."

Not worth the effort? Now that made him bristle. "I'm willing to fight them. It's worth it to me even if it isn't to you."

"I don't understand." That statement applied to so many things in that moment.

"I fight for what I care about. I care about my country. I care about my sister. And I care about you. Whomever you worked for threatens all three. You're daft if you don't think I'd fight them even unto death."

"No. I don't understand you. I don't understand why you care about someone who lied to you all along. Someone you don't know at all. Someone who would... give up her own life this easily."

"I already told you. Whatever you may think, there is a part of the real you where Lethe came from. That's the part that I fell in love with. That's the part that couldn't kill me, and that I can't simply let die. That being said... if you want to go off and die and I can't convince you otherwise, I'm not going to stop you. But at the very least... tell me who I'm fighting. If they're ging to come after me anyway believing I know anything about them, I might as well know who it is that I'm killing."

"If I told you and they killed me, you would want revenge. I can't let you fight them. The sole fact they managed to kill Terre Lenster should tell you how capable they are..."

"And the sole fact that the only reason your sister got that close to Terre Lenster in the first place was because he didn't listen to the one person who didn't trust her should tell you how capable I can be." He sighed. "If they killed you, of course I'd want revenge. But I'm not a complete fool even if--" Well, he didn't really have to finish that thought.

"The bottom line is this. If you still want to leave, there's the door," he pointed. "I'd rather you stay. I'd rather get to know the real you. I'd rather you stay alive. I'd rather see if what they say about love overcoming's got any merit. And I'd rather know what and who I'm fighting against. Not just for your sake or my sake, but for the sake of my family and my country."

"Had I not failed to kill you, though..." She frowned. This was a pointless argument, wasn't it...? "I don't want to bring you any more trouble than I already have."

"Had you not failed to kill me all of this would be academic, and I would be the bigger fool for it. But I'm still alive, and so are you. Something stopped us from killing the other. And I think that's worth fighting for."

He smirked a little. "Yeah, well, if nothing else you've made my life a little more interesting. Besides, Daveis would miss you too, if you left. And trouble's coming whether you leave or not."

"Maybe you're right," she whispered, looking more than a little lost. "I... don't know anymore." This man had reduced her to a mess of thoughts and feelings - neither of which she had ever had to worry about before. It was always just carrying out orders, awaiting new orders, carrying those out, and so forth. She had never had to have any thoughts or feelings of her own. She had never needed to exist before then.

"Then stay with me," he offered. "This is... new to me too."

"I want to, but I fear for your life." Such a good assassin she was, fearing for her target's life. "I don't know what to do. I've never... made any decisions for myself before."

It was sweet of her, really. But he could take care of himself rather well. "Then maybe it's as good a time to start as any."

And with no small amount of trepidation and overcoming his natural reluctance to physical contact, Arden brushed some hair away from her cheek, and then leaned forward and kissed her.

Kissing wasn't exactly new to Lethe. Because of what she did, she'd learned it - and other things - at a very young age. However, any physical contact up until then had just been a means to an end and nothing more. It had never been a display of affection. It had never been gentle, or tender, or spontaneous - always cold, calculated, not unlike her kills.

But this... it was different. It was comforting, relaxing, and made her anxious all at the same time. She hesitantly moved a hand to his bare chest - and it was only then that it hit her that it was bare. He'd explained before why he had an aversion to physical contact, and when it came to mind, she very noticeably tensed and pulled her hand away.

He did tense a little bit when she touched him, but he didn't think it had been enough for her to tense up herself and pull her hand away. Lethe- or whatever her real name actually was, but she'd be Lethe until she said otherwise- was the only person that knew where his problem stemmed. He broke the kiss for a moment. "No, no, it's-- it's okay, I pro--" It was then that he kind of looked down and realized something rather important:

The fact that in all the commotion he'd completely forgotten that he sleeps in the nude.

"Uh. Maybe I should... put some clothes on," he backed away somewhat quickly, heading towards the closet.

"No, it's... fine. I should go back." To the inn or to the cult, she wasn't sure, yet.

Lethe turned to the door, taking a few steps toward it before stopping. He'd... spared her life, accepted her lies, was willing to believe she had a self - she couldn't just... walk out like that. The persona wouldn't have, and for him to have fallen in love with her, she had to be doing something right. "I'm... sorry," she murmured, swallowing. She'd offered hundreds of fake apologies before, but never an honest one - it made sense now why so many people had difficulty apologizing...

He quickly grabbed a pair of pants and rather amusingly slipped them on, hopping on one foot, his back turned to her. When they were on, he hurried to her. Luckily she stopped. He put his hands on her shoulders.

"If you stay I'll accept your apology."

"You're a fool." And so was she, since she didn't move away from him. She wanted to stay, even knowing the risks. Just like she didn't kill him, even knowing the consequences. The only question now was who was the bigger fool - her, for throwing her life away over a man, or him, for wanting someone like her.

"Takes one to know one, I suppose," he chuckled, and tried to coax her into turning around.

She made a long pause, her back still to him, eyes closed. Maybe the reason why she didn't want to tell him was because she'd been conditioned not to. Maybe they weren't as skilled as she was led to believe. If she had failed like this...

...It would be Shard they would send after her, wouldn't it? One of the few assassins whose skill she could fear. If it was him...

"It's a cult," she finally said, still not turning to him. "A religious faction that was persecuted in the past and nearly exterminated. They hold a grudge against every holy bloodline for what was done to them, and to their God..."

Arden blinked. That... explained why they'd want the King dead. "Were they behind... all the other rulers dying, too?"

"I don't know about King Silesia, but there was a pair of agents working on King Valhalla. They're... also responsible for several disappearances of holy-blooded children, and they were behind the near annihilation of the Fala bloodline as well."

To Arden, this sort of thing was unheard of. there were criminal underground organizations.. .and then there was this. A cult bent on revenge? For what was done to them... and their God...? There was only one God that could possibly have a reason to seek revenge.

The evil, defeated God from the great war. Loputous.

"So those that followed Loputous survive even to this day. And you're one of them." There was no accusation in that last statement, it was just a fact.

"Yes." Lethe felt a little relieved that he'd figured it out on his own. It was... easier, if she didn't have to say everything.

Arden said nothing for a few moments. After a little while, he sighed. "It changes nothing of the basic premise that they're your enemy now, as well as mine, and that one way or the other they'll come. If you so choose... we can fight them. Together."

"We couldn't possibly fend them off every time..." And she couldn't possibly ask him to live on the run with her.

"We don't have to," he walked around in front of her. "All we have to do is fend off the first one," he smiled. After a moment, he elaborated.

"We kill the first assassin, and make it look like you were killed. Cut your hair a little, dye it. Maybe change your hairstyle and makeup habits, your way of dress. They'l lcome after me eventually, but that's normal. Part of my job," he shrugged. "They'll give up soon enough when they realize they can't kill me so easily. And when they see that I'm not doing anything obvious to actively oppose them."

"I wish it were that easy." She pressed her lips together, glanced up at him. The way he put it, it did sound very simple... but if he could think that far, so could they. If they suspected she was still alive...

"The best solutions usually are," he nodded. "You should know that as well as I do."

"I'm sorry. I can't see it like that." While she'd been taught to be confident in her own skills, she'd also been taught to fear the consequences of turning against them. She'd never once questioned her orders, it was easy to deal with it - but now, when faced with the possibility of getting him killed, she'd been all but reduced to that fear, it seemed... "I'd never been afraid of failure before, but..."

"Lethe," he put one hand on her cheek gently. "I would rather die fighting them than roll over and let them simply take you away from me. I won't give up. Please, don't give up, either. No one is undefeatable."

Didn't that mean the two of them weren't undefeatable, too?

But...

"All right," she said with a sigh. "I'll... try."

Arden smiled, put his other hand on her other cheek, and nodded. "That's all I ask," he said just before he kissed her again.

She hesitantly closed her eyes and very gently moved her hands to his chest again. Her mind, however, was still racing.

Try... yes, she could try, at least for a while. But... if it meant his safety - if it meant giving him the chance to continue to live and find a different path, she had absolutely no doubts about it. She would walk out of his life, even if it was against his wishes. Keep them busy enough searching for her that they wouldn't be able to afford going after him. When they came for her...

I'm sorry, Arden. I'm... really sorry.