In Loving Memory
Walking to the principal’s office for the second time in as many days, my mind was surprisingly blank, and while I was still angry, I didn’t feel the need to lash out at every person I saw who decided to watch me through open doors. I wondered if what I had done was bad enough to warrant a few days suspension or if I would just be saddled with some detentions. Unfair as it was, the boys probably wouldn’t get any punishment, because they would all band together and even if my friends supported me, they would scare people into saying bad things against me. After what seemed like an eternity I reached the principal’s office door and stood there for a few seconds, psyching myself up. If I was any other girl in the school I’d be worrying about who to go to prom with and what I should wear, and then what I’d do over the summer before college finally started. But here I was, with everyone else worrying about me and what was happening with my life and where it was headed. I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob.
The little waiting room was empty, and the secretary didn’t even bother to tell me to sit down, motioning towards the principal’s office door. As I sidled in the room, Mr. Gunno, the principal, looked at me in surprise. I wasn’t exactly one of the people who frequented the office. In fact, the only time I could remember being in that room was at the beginning of ninth grade, when we had to come in and have the preliminary discussion about what had happened all those years ago. He was a kind man if not the most observant at times, and he took off his reading glasses as he said, “Oh, hello Tanny! You’re not someone I expected to be here. So what’s happened? Hopefully nothing bad. I can’t imagine…surely you haven’t done anything wrong?”
“Well, about that…” I started, “I haven’t technically done anything, but I did almost punch someone.”
“Oh my!”
“They were bugging me and it just got under my skin, I guess.” Knowing that nothing I said would really make much difference in the long run, I just gave basic details. “Just about how I fell asleep yesterday. Making a big deal out of it and it just got to be too much.”
“Well that is horrible! I’ll have to reprimand them somehow. And you, poor dear. Well, I hate to do this but if you did almost punch someone I’m afraid I can’t grant you complete reprieve. You’ll have to do some detention, as I’m sure you probably figured. Now, would you like to go home early again today or stay?”
I thought for a bit before saying, “Honestly? Stay. Leaving would make it worse later I think.”
“Well good. You may go back to class now, though I may call you in again later. I’m very sorry Miss Karmin. But you are free to go,” he said, gesturing sadly at the door behind him. Figuring that I would probably get ripped apart soon enough, I walked slowly back down the hall to the next period, unwilling to put myself back in the same room with those jerks sooner than I needed to. I sat down on the cold floor outside of my next class, not looking forward to the rest of the day, but glad I didn’t have to go home and have everyone know that I had gone home early two days in a row. I didn’t need any more bad publicity than I was getting, or was going to get after word of my near-punch spread throughout the school. Finally the bell rang and people began filtering out of the classroom.
As soon as I could, I snuck in and grab a chair at the back of the room, trying to hide as best I could. I watched as the rest of the class came in through the door, everyone grouping with other friends they had in that class, and I found that I didn’t care about being left out anymore. None of my friends had classes with me and at first that had bothered me, but I seemed to have reached a point where nothing bothered me. I sat numbly through the class…until I heard the PA system announce my name. “Tanny Karmin please come to the principal’s office.” I looked up and saw everyone looking back at me but didn’t care. Once again I had to make the trek to the office.
I walked in the door and took up the same position I had earlier in Mr. Gunno’s office. “Hello again Miss Karmin,” he said by way of greeting. “I know that this probably isn’t what you want, and I know it isn’t really what your uncle…well, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Actually, I think you two met yesterday and, uh, didn’t really hit it off, but we’re going to try again. Meet Mrs. Rinata, the school counselor.” My heart sank as I turned around only to see the woman that had tried to analyze me yesterday. I immediately regretted not going home when I had the chance.
The little waiting room was empty, and the secretary didn’t even bother to tell me to sit down, motioning towards the principal’s office door. As I sidled in the room, Mr. Gunno, the principal, looked at me in surprise. I wasn’t exactly one of the people who frequented the office. In fact, the only time I could remember being in that room was at the beginning of ninth grade, when we had to come in and have the preliminary discussion about what had happened all those years ago. He was a kind man if not the most observant at times, and he took off his reading glasses as he said, “Oh, hello Tanny! You’re not someone I expected to be here. So what’s happened? Hopefully nothing bad. I can’t imagine…surely you haven’t done anything wrong?”
“Well, about that…” I started, “I haven’t technically done anything, but I did almost punch someone.”
“Oh my!”
“They were bugging me and it just got under my skin, I guess.” Knowing that nothing I said would really make much difference in the long run, I just gave basic details. “Just about how I fell asleep yesterday. Making a big deal out of it and it just got to be too much.”
“Well that is horrible! I’ll have to reprimand them somehow. And you, poor dear. Well, I hate to do this but if you did almost punch someone I’m afraid I can’t grant you complete reprieve. You’ll have to do some detention, as I’m sure you probably figured. Now, would you like to go home early again today or stay?”
I thought for a bit before saying, “Honestly? Stay. Leaving would make it worse later I think.”
“Well good. You may go back to class now, though I may call you in again later. I’m very sorry Miss Karmin. But you are free to go,” he said, gesturing sadly at the door behind him. Figuring that I would probably get ripped apart soon enough, I walked slowly back down the hall to the next period, unwilling to put myself back in the same room with those jerks sooner than I needed to. I sat down on the cold floor outside of my next class, not looking forward to the rest of the day, but glad I didn’t have to go home and have everyone know that I had gone home early two days in a row. I didn’t need any more bad publicity than I was getting, or was going to get after word of my near-punch spread throughout the school. Finally the bell rang and people began filtering out of the classroom.
As soon as I could, I snuck in and grab a chair at the back of the room, trying to hide as best I could. I watched as the rest of the class came in through the door, everyone grouping with other friends they had in that class, and I found that I didn’t care about being left out anymore. None of my friends had classes with me and at first that had bothered me, but I seemed to have reached a point where nothing bothered me. I sat numbly through the class…until I heard the PA system announce my name. “Tanny Karmin please come to the principal’s office.” I looked up and saw everyone looking back at me but didn’t care. Once again I had to make the trek to the office.
I walked in the door and took up the same position I had earlier in Mr. Gunno’s office. “Hello again Miss Karmin,” he said by way of greeting. “I know that this probably isn’t what you want, and I know it isn’t really what your uncle…well, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Actually, I think you two met yesterday and, uh, didn’t really hit it off, but we’re going to try again. Meet Mrs. Rinata, the school counselor.” My heart sank as I turned around only to see the woman that had tried to analyze me yesterday. I immediately regretted not going home when I had the chance.