In Loving Memory
At this point, I'm used to all the strange looks people give me. They tend to be suspicious of others who study crimes in their spare time, especially when it's someone who's a member of the unruly "younger generation". Generally high school is hard enough when your favorite lunchtime conversation doesn't involve various local crimes and unsolved cases explained in detail. But I was okay with that. I had my group of friends and a boyfriend, and what everyone else thought wasn't important.
Name's Tanny, by the way. Tanny Karmin. I've not got much to say about myself, but suffice it to say that I turned out fairly normal considering the circumstances. I mean, I could have turned out really messed up, some kind of murderer myself, or had a warped sense of reality. But thanks to Uncle Charles, I can say that I led a fairly safe and normal life. The only side effect of the whole experience is the fact that I have a taste for revenge and perhaps don't trust people as much as most. But, as I said, I have a group, and I like it that way.
We were all sitting around a table in the cafeteria one day, our own little table, separated from everyone. There aren't that many of us, really. Me, Ashley, Fiona, David, and my boyfriend, Matt Hamond, the only one in our group who didn't seem to fit. Blond hair, brown eyed, and muscular, he was the envy of guys and the crush of girls throughout Carter High. The fact that he was my boyfriend did weird people out a little bit, but not enough to deter a few people who were determined to break us up. Thankfully, though, he wasn't interested and despite all appearances fit into our group really well. His dad left before he was born, ran off with another woman, and so he knows what its like to search for someone. His mom seemed to have given up after she threw all his pictures away, but Matt really wants to meet him and ask what his problem is. As I said, we fit together well.
It was early April, just when the senioritis kicks in really badly and everyone is waiting for the summer in between the last of high school and the first bit of freedom that is college. Most other people were talking about what they were going to do later, as they had all given up on homework since they didn't think it would matter, now they were all in colleges already. I was talking about how I was planning on taking a year off, mainly to search for my parents' murderer.
"So I was thinking if maybe I could take some time, examine everything again, all the evidence, maybe I could come up with something new, track him down..." I paused, looking around at everyone. There were some raised eyebrows - some of them didn't agree or understand my obsession with revenge, but had learned to live with it - but no one really said anything. I knew they were all worried that I was probably going to get myself hurt or killed, but I had taken precautions. I took karate, self-defense, and had been taught how to use a gun. I slept with a baseball bat by my head, just in case. I was fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my actions. Some things are worth the jail time.
After that statement, the conversation seemed to peter out a bit. No one was quite sure what to say, but I knew what they were all thinking about. They were thinking that they were lucky they could lead normal lives, go to college, graduate, get good jobs, and that I would never be able to rest until I got revenge. They felt they had it lucky, but didn't want to say so in front of me. Matt looked over at me encouragingly, smiled slightly, and went back to his food. When the bell finally rang, everyone got up from the table, saying variations of "good luck, I hope you find the bastard" before walking away. I got a hug or two, and Matt kissed me on the cheek before walking to his next class, at the opposite end of the building from me. In that one moment, I realized how alone I really was in my predicament.
Name's Tanny, by the way. Tanny Karmin. I've not got much to say about myself, but suffice it to say that I turned out fairly normal considering the circumstances. I mean, I could have turned out really messed up, some kind of murderer myself, or had a warped sense of reality. But thanks to Uncle Charles, I can say that I led a fairly safe and normal life. The only side effect of the whole experience is the fact that I have a taste for revenge and perhaps don't trust people as much as most. But, as I said, I have a group, and I like it that way.
We were all sitting around a table in the cafeteria one day, our own little table, separated from everyone. There aren't that many of us, really. Me, Ashley, Fiona, David, and my boyfriend, Matt Hamond, the only one in our group who didn't seem to fit. Blond hair, brown eyed, and muscular, he was the envy of guys and the crush of girls throughout Carter High. The fact that he was my boyfriend did weird people out a little bit, but not enough to deter a few people who were determined to break us up. Thankfully, though, he wasn't interested and despite all appearances fit into our group really well. His dad left before he was born, ran off with another woman, and so he knows what its like to search for someone. His mom seemed to have given up after she threw all his pictures away, but Matt really wants to meet him and ask what his problem is. As I said, we fit together well.
It was early April, just when the senioritis kicks in really badly and everyone is waiting for the summer in between the last of high school and the first bit of freedom that is college. Most other people were talking about what they were going to do later, as they had all given up on homework since they didn't think it would matter, now they were all in colleges already. I was talking about how I was planning on taking a year off, mainly to search for my parents' murderer.
"So I was thinking if maybe I could take some time, examine everything again, all the evidence, maybe I could come up with something new, track him down..." I paused, looking around at everyone. There were some raised eyebrows - some of them didn't agree or understand my obsession with revenge, but had learned to live with it - but no one really said anything. I knew they were all worried that I was probably going to get myself hurt or killed, but I had taken precautions. I took karate, self-defense, and had been taught how to use a gun. I slept with a baseball bat by my head, just in case. I was fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my actions. Some things are worth the jail time.
After that statement, the conversation seemed to peter out a bit. No one was quite sure what to say, but I knew what they were all thinking about. They were thinking that they were lucky they could lead normal lives, go to college, graduate, get good jobs, and that I would never be able to rest until I got revenge. They felt they had it lucky, but didn't want to say so in front of me. Matt looked over at me encouragingly, smiled slightly, and went back to his food. When the bell finally rang, everyone got up from the table, saying variations of "good luck, I hope you find the bastard" before walking away. I got a hug or two, and Matt kissed me on the cheek before walking to his next class, at the opposite end of the building from me. In that one moment, I realized how alone I really was in my predicament.