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[hermod]

I've been thinking abut my life path lately, and have come to a peculiar realization. As a C'han Buddhist, with seriously Taoistic tendencies (which is, I suppose, a redundancy of terms), I believe that we must follow our inner nature to attain enlightenemnt and a release from the wheel of samsara. At the same time, I respect the traditions of

Comments

[kytty]

What are the uncomfortable behavior patterns you've been trying to force yourself into?

[hermod]

I do things that I THINK that I SHOULD be doing, instead of what I really feel like doing. It causes all kinds of stress for me, because I hold myself to a really high standard of activity (I often find myself judging what I'm reading and thinking, "Is this good enough for me to spend my time reading it?"). Even though I believe, philosophically, taht no activity or artistic expression is inherently more valuable than the other. It ties into the fact that I have the life-philosophy and ethics of, say, Alan Watts, but the personal habits and strict beliefs of, say, C.S. Lewis when it comes to myself. But I'm working on it...

Re:

[kytty]

I wonder if that's just something that people outgrow. After all, young adulthood is pretty much establishing your own identity and preferences after having had preferences and behavior monitored and even evaluated by others who may or may not have had our best interests in mind. Anyway, I remember going through that, too, and it's very much less a part of my life now.