Maybe if I write them down, they'll come easier. I gained the 7 pounds I lost back (I think a lot is in muscle, though, so that's nice) so I can't really say I have 25,000 free calories to duke out in chocolate whenever I feel like it. But I'm healthier.

Finish:

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It's almost 2 in the morning and I just woke up. I must have fallen asleep around 5. Dad came in and asked if I wanted pizza and I just rolled over and said no. Sometimes I can be so fucking bitter and a part of me knows I should fake a normal tone of voice but it feels so good to be angry ( Read more... )

I always got the message you really wouldn't mind if I was thinner, and in all honesty, that really kind of bothers me.

Yeah, last night I tried it and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Initially felt reallly bad but the pain in my arms went away after awhile. My voice got louder and louder and I felt for some reason screaming everything I wanted to say was a very good idea. I had to refrain from smashing things and jumping up on the table or whacking something. I ( Read more... )

I have muscular legs and minimal cheekbones but I guess I have to learn to love what I have. I figure I'm more of a pinup girl than a runway model. I should learn to actually like that ( Read more... )

I'm going to go to a Helmet party tonight.
Time for housework.
There is so much doubt in me I wonder sometimes if that means it really isn't quite meant to be. I shouldn't be experiencing so much if it was.

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I'm having a bad day.
Also, my scarab is dead.

I just got back from an hour-long run. It's getting easier now, maybe because I bought new workout clothes and feel efficient and legitimate in my new uniform (black sports bra and PE shorts ( Read more... )

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