Man, I wasn't expecting that one at all ( Read more... )

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When I stopped by the gym to pick up ye old pay check today, I happened to vaguely mention to my boss, Phyllis, my three day battle with neck pain. There's a swollen lump of...I dunno, pure evil in my back, right above the shoulder blade, and it's radiating all over the place. It's gotten so bad that my head, hips, right arm and spine feel sorta ( Read more... )

Once upon a time there was a girl named Amber, who went into the kitchen for a snack. Whence she opened yon fridge she beheld a cake. It was chocolate and she saw that it was good. She cut herself a gigantic slice, and upon suggestion from her dear father, bellowed from the living room, she popped it in the microwave for thirty seconds, so it ( Read more... )

So, when I sifted through my pocket book, I found shit I had stuffed in there up to five months ago and completely forgotten about. But I flipped through my notebook full of random junk, and found quotes from my friends, some of which were more than six months old. And I thought it appropriate to share ( Read more... )

Oh, the weather is fantastic today, but I feel so damn out of it. I probably just threw my system outta wack with all the chaos in the last few weeks. I have to leave for work in fifteen minutes ( Read more... )

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Boy, was that ever irritating ( Read more... )

So, on my second try I found the perfect apartment. I feel like I should take a bow ( Read more... )

So yesterday I got up early and drove my sister to the bus station, so she could hop over to NYC for some mysterious venture. When we got there, the woman behind the counter was my friends' grandma ( Read more... )