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"Eeeh... hey, Romano -"
"Minimum three free meals and a nap with pasta."
Spain takes Romano up on his bargain. Wedding hijinks ensue!
It's taken me months to finish this and I wrote waaaay too much. Also, it has America/England and Greece/Japan at parts, so I hope anon does not mind.
20,300 words. 6,400 words of porn. Let's hope I don't fuck this posting up.
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He hadn’t said anything about their new status as fiancés. Or about when he might like to get married. Not even anything about how happy he was, but he must’ve been happy. Anyone would’ve been happy to marry Romano. Even that potato-head Germany; he probably cried himself to sleep every night over the fact that he was stuck with the lamer brother.
And worst of all, Spain hadn’t made a single attempt to even touch him, not beyond the usual hair ruffling and teasing pokes and pinches that always earned him a half-hearted slap. Everything was so damn normal, and Spain might even have been quieter than usual. Tonight he’d spent all day ( ... )
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“What are you-?”
“You haven’t even kissed me!”
Eyes widening, Spain leaned back slightly, shaking his head just a bit as though trying to clear it and make sure he’d heard that right. His voice lowered. “Romano, are you feeling all right?” His cheeks were turning distinctly pink, and that definitely was not extremely attractive on him at all. Not at all.
Well, okay, but the fact that it was extremely attractive on him wasn’t enough to make up for everything else, though. “No, I am not all right!” Romano jabbed Spain accusingly in the chest with his index finger. “Because I’m engaged to an inconsiderate bastardSilence. Romano waited for an answer, preferably ( ... )
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Romano cringed. Getting caught putting a hit out by Veneziano was like getting caught jerking off by the Pope. Both of them had happened to Romano on multiple occasions. “Um… not… really.” Veneziano shifted his weight but otherwise didn’t move a muscle, as though making sure that Romano knew his expression was keeping up with the conversation, but that he merely wasn’t inclined to change it yet. Romano looked away. “It… it was a passive hit.” His brother shifted again. He looked up and explained, “They’re just supposed to keep him out ( ... )
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“What?” Spain exclaimed, standing up a bit unsteadily. “You changed your mind?! I just fought some greasy guy with a bat to get here!”
Romano cringed again, though he tried to hide it. He crossed his arms over his chest and muttered, “You’re the one who didn’t accept my acceptance. I’m not marrying some idiot who doesn’t think I’m worth three meals and a nap.”
“I already give you three meals and a nap when you’re at my house!”
“That’s not the point!” Romano huffed. Actually, he hadn’t really considered that fact. But he was still quite sure it wasn’t the point. “If that was the point, you would’ve just… accepted“I’m accepting now!” Spain insisted. “ ( ... )
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“Do I have to beg?”
Scoffing, Romano tossed his head. “Tch. Like seeing you all pathetic and groveling would make me want to marry you.”
There was a twinkle that Spain always got in his eyes right before he said something that he thought was particularly clever. Romano had learned to dread this look, and Spain had it now. “You mean I couldn’t convince you by getting on my knees?”
It took a moment for it to sink in. Romano stared, and then he stomped his foot and yelled, “You ( ... )
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Spain squeezed one eye shut and playfully added in his roughest voice, “How arrrrr you?” ffffffffff! “We agreed that was a one-time thing.” FFFFFFFF!!!! asdfj;lksjdf Spain, you're darker than you seem XDD
Anon, you are a genius.
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“Did you even tell your boss?”
“I plan on inviting him to the wedding, so he’ll find out then. Do you like basil?” England now found himself standing, arms crossed, on one side of Spain’s kitchen island while Spain dug through his fridge on the other. The time that England could remember when Spain occasionally showed interest in something other than food, sleep, and Southern Italy seemed very far removed from the present.
“You haven’t thought this through at all, have you?” England snapped. “How do you think your people are going to feel about your joining with half of another sovereign nation ( ... )
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For some reason, that made me LOL.
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“No!” England insisted, straightening up and crossing his arms over his chest indignantly. He looked at Spain down the length of his nose and declared, “You’re squandering a precious resource!”
Spain tried to keep from rolling his eyes. England was probably just this cranky because he most likely wasn’t having any sex himself, which meant that Spain could easily snipe back about how England was squandering America, but he managed not to. “I’m not squandering,” he said. “Romano is Catholic.”
“So are you; what’s your point?”
“No, he’s really Catholic,” Spain said, giving England a meaningful stare. Spain knew it had been a while, but surely England hadn’t forgotten what being Catholic was like. It took a long moment, but finally realization dawned across England’s features, like the very belated rising of a rather oblivious sun.
“Oh my god“ ( ... )
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For a long, long moment, England just stared at him like he couldn’t figure out what the hell being married before la Tomatina had to do with anything. But then, slowly, one corner of his mouth twitched and was followed by the most evil grin Spain had seen on him since the sixteenth century. When he spoke again, his voice had commuted to practically a purr. “Phone book. Hurry up.”
On the one hand, Spain kind of regretted asking. He should’ve known that England was enough of a sexual deviant to see what he was thinking, and now he felt flushed and like he was suddenly not wearing anything at all. On the other hand, maybe England was right. Maybe this was an emergency.
( ... )
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