France/America Expatriate AU (the Lost Generation/Génération au Feu)
anonymous
February 5 2010, 11:19:09 UTC
Young Alfred Jones lies about his age in order to enlist and fight in the Great War (WWI), because that's what heroes do. But several years later, he's discovering that home isn't what he thought it would be. Joining the other disillusioned youth of his time, the now 19-year-old Alfred leaves the US for Paris. There he meets Francis Bonnefoy, a charming (if somewhat nihilistic) Frenchman in his mid-late twenties. Together, they discover each other, and a life after the war.
In other words, Francis/Alfred (human) post-WWI AU please! Is expatriate-Al an artist? A writer? A jazz musician? A dancer? Other? Up to you anon! How about Francis - a wine maker, a cabaret owner? Former soldier turned chef? All up to you anon!
How do they meet, what's up with the other Hetalia characters -- all up to you! Though I DO ask that IF you decide to include/mention Matthew, please have him be Alfred's (older) twin brother.
Additional suggestion potential author anon should in no way feel bound by: Alfred is part-American Indian
( ... )
L'homme Perdu (1a/?)
anonymous
February 7 2010, 16:17:48 UTC
Alfred Jones starred down at the piece of paper in front of him, he was supposed to be replying to his older brother’s letter, and well the words were escaping him; how was he going to put everything he needed to say in one letter and send it off. That sort of thing wasn’t really his style and well he was in all honesty no good with words. So many American’s who’s left the United States for Paris were artist, they could paint, write, make music, they had talents, and yet Alfred was there in that city so full of culture with nothing but that famous American charm. The young man picked up the pen in between his fingers and decided to start
( ... )
L'homme Perdu (1b/?)
anonymous
February 7 2010, 16:20:29 UTC
Alfred turned his attention back to the letter. There was so much that needed to be said, he wanted to confide in his brother with all of his feelings, after all he was his twin, and twins did share that special bond. Matthew had told him the moment he’d fallen in love with the woman he’d married just before Alfred had moved to France. He’d been the one that his twin turned to when he wanted to propose to her, and despite the fact the younger one had lost his hope for the world he’d encouraged his brother and wished his the absolute best luck in his life. It was tough being so far away from home he really had no one to confide in, no one to help him figure things in his mind out. But he had to come up with something
( ... )
Re: L'homme Perdu (1b/?)
anonymous
February 8 2010, 07:58:58 UTC
OP here, and I very much second the first commenter! The melancholy mood here was lovely, and I love the way you started with Alfred struggling with what to write to his family.
That said, and with all my love to you for braving this fill, you may want to be more careful in editing the next part because there were a lot of errors, and they were rather distracting. Spelling errors, misplaced commas or apostrophes, some run-on sentences and so on...
L'homme Perdu (2a/?)
anonymous
February 21 2010, 23:46:50 UTC
Despite the fact that Alfred wasn’t the best speaker of French, he still had a friend in Paris, Arthur Kirkland. Arthur was a novelist originally from London, England and lived on the floor bellow Alfred with his wife and six year old son. The two had met the day the American had moved into the building, and the English man (having heard his name) knew instantly he finally had someone to complain about all the things the French did that he couldn’t stand to. This had (and still did) confuse Alfred, for a man living in France, and married to a Parisian woman, how could he have such a dislike for the people? But he’s never questioned it and went along with the flow, because it was nice to have a conversation with someone in his native language even if there were words that they had to explain to one another, and the fact the Briton was eleven years his senior
( ... )
L'homme Perdu (2c/?)
anonymous
February 21 2010, 23:48:55 UTC
“Hello Arthur.” The blonde said sounding a bit bored, “Alfred.” he nodded his head the American as he took a seat in one of the chairs, than started his conversation with the brunette man again
( ... )
L'homme Perdu (2d/?)
anonymous
February 21 2010, 23:50:49 UTC
The song finished and the girl who had been on stage left, as the band continued on without her, deciding to startup with a faster tune and more people joined in with the dancing. It was only a couple of moments later that the young woman had appeared at their table. She was a colored girl with skin that was somewhere between the color of caramel and milk chocolate, her black hair had been cut off into a bob and she wore a dress that was undoubtedly expensive. “Move over Toris, I want to sit next to Feliks.” She half pouted. The girl was the one dating the poet, though she was sixteen. And the reason she sang in the club every night was because her adopted father was the owner. She was a bit of a brat and the kind of person who would cry until you bent to her will. Alfred remember the first time he’d seen the girl, naturally he was initially shocked that she was sitting there at a table of white men smoking a cigarette and playing cards with them, and to be honest he still wasn’t used to it, nor was Arthur, who made a bit of a face as
( ... )
L'homme Perdu (2e/?)
anonymous
February 21 2010, 23:53:08 UTC
“It would make my life like so much easier.” Feliks said with a sigh, “I had a dream once that you were a little domestic goddess, cooking, cleaning-“ Cora had punched him in the arm causing him to yelp, “You’re just making me want to have that dream world come true
( ... )
Re: L'homme Perdu (2e/?)
anonymous
February 22 2010, 14:20:23 UTC
OP here! And oh, things are stirring! I love the way you're working everyone in. England as an author is fantastic, and oh, Spain is perfect. And you even added Poland and Lithuania! Cora, by the way, I adore, and I'm on the edge of my seat to see more of France.
Grammar-wise, this was MUCH better. I think having someone do a quick proofread is just what you need. FYI, there's a Hetalia community dedicated to helping people out with that sort of thing should you need not-intoxicated reviews. ^_~
Writing!Anon
anonymous
February 26 2010, 16:50:54 UTC
Thank you! I was nervous about adding so many of the other characters in (and trust me I have plans to add even more) but without more then just Francis and Alfred... it's just not well a story... and I figured that I could toss in a whole mess of them and make it more belivable that way. Chapter three is more Francis centric,and I'll hopefully have it ready soonish, but they've hanged my shifts are at work so that I'm there 5 days a week for eight and a half hours so a lot of it is being written on the backs of recepts costumers don't want while it's slow.
This may sound weird but when my proof read is intoxicated he's better at writing, plus more honest with me. He's a brilliant writer period, and this kind of thing is more his style. I think I've said it before but I'm a fluff writer usually.
Re: L'homme Perdu (2e/?)
anonymous
March 7 2010, 02:10:30 UTC
The proof reading helped, definitely! This is much better than the first part. :3 And I like this fill a lot too! It seems to have the mood and the era spot-on.
In other words, Francis/Alfred (human) post-WWI AU please! Is expatriate-Al an artist? A writer? A jazz musician? A dancer? Other? Up to you anon! How about Francis - a wine maker, a cabaret owner? Former soldier turned chef? All up to you anon!
How do they meet, what's up with the other Hetalia characters -- all up to you! Though I DO ask that IF you decide to include/mention Matthew, please have him be Alfred's (older) twin brother.
Additional suggestion potential author anon should in no way feel bound by: Alfred is part-American Indian ( ... )
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Though I suggest you check your writing better, this one had quite a lot of errors. ^^;; Sorry for nitpicking but is a bit disturbing even.
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That said, and with all my love to you for braving this fill, you may want to be more careful in editing the next part because there were a lot of errors, and they were rather distracting. Spelling errors, misplaced commas or apostrophes, some run-on sentences and so on...
Reply
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Reply
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Grammar-wise, this was MUCH better. I think having someone do a quick proofread is just what you need. FYI, there's a Hetalia community dedicated to helping people out with that sort of thing should you need not-intoxicated reviews. ^_~
Reply
This may sound weird but when my proof read is intoxicated he's better at writing, plus more honest with me. He's a brilliant writer period, and this kind of thing is more his style. I think I've said it before but I'm a fluff writer usually.
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http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/11813.html?thread=35435557#t35435557
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