First time with a twist - US/UK
anonymous
May 10 2010, 17:03:52 UTC
First time having sex with virgin!England. America is hesitant to actually go through with it, but England is persistant and won't take no for an answer.
Oh...Canada (1/5?)
anonymous
July 21 2010, 03:18:36 UTC
Not one of the previous anons, and this is the first actual yaoi thing I've ever written, so please be nice! I...think I kind of didn't do the prompt justice. PLease somebody else feel free to fill this! It is guaranteed to be better than mine, but I wanted to fill it anyway
( ... )
Re: Oh...Canada (2/5?)
anonymous
July 21 2010, 03:19:53 UTC
Alfred’s mouth crashed into Arthur’s wildly, desperately. Everything Alfred had been holding back was now out in the open. Boundaries and borders melted into the dim lighting of the small bedroom. Alfred lifted Arthur slightly, moving him further up on the bed. Now is where the torture starts. Arthur wasn’t into much foreplay just now; he was in the mood and the man was ready to go. Not that he had known this fact until now. Alfred parted the Briton’s legs with his left hand, leaving his other arm wrapped around Arthur’s back. It was Alfred’s turn to have fun
( ... )
Re: Oh...Canada (3/4)
anonymous
July 21 2010, 03:21:30 UTC
Arthur soon noticed that the throb coursing through his body wasn’t pain anymore, but pure desire. He had an unfillable need, verging on frantic, to have Alfred inside him further than he was getting now. Even if the feeling of Alfred moving with him was terrifyingly close to perfection, Arthur needed to have more of him immediately
( ... )
Re: Oh...Canada (4/4)
anonymous
July 21 2010, 05:54:22 UTC
Well, since you asked for concrit, there are a few things I'd like to point out. :)
First of all, why were they in Canada's room? That seemed a bit odd to me, as it was never explained how or why they ended up there and decided to have sex.
Also, the prompt was for virgin!England, but it was never really made clear that that's what he was. It seemed more like it was just his first time with America, rather than his first time ever.
The last thing was that America didn't seem to properly prepare England with lubricant, even though he seemed very concerned about moving too fast initially. My thoughts go out to England's poor ass.
But! They seemed very sweet on each other, which I find absolutely adorable. :) All in all it was a very nice fill, anon! Thanks for writing it!
Re: Oh...Canada (4/4)
anonymous
July 22 2010, 06:33:53 UTC
Hi. Thanx for the con crit. This is actually based off my first time, so that's kind of why I forgot the lubricant & the stretching stuff. lol. *facedesk* Sorry! Probably should've put that in.
As to why they are in Canada's room, that's also based off of personal experience. My mom was with my sis & Canada's parent is currently..... ya. Wasn't too sure about how to solve that problem. Also, my style is a little.... flawed because I'm new. I write one shots, but I'm actually kind of a failure at plot. *is embarassed*
Sorry. I'll try to work on it. Still new. This is my smut virginity. *blush*pop*
Pretty please, anons??
Bonus: England ends up topping from the bottom.
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I thought it was good, certainly not the best I've ever read, but not the worse. I liked it. ❤
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First of all, why were they in Canada's room? That seemed a bit odd to me, as it was never explained how or why they ended up there and decided to have sex.
Also, the prompt was for virgin!England, but it was never really made clear that that's what he was. It seemed more like it was just his first time with America, rather than his first time ever.
The last thing was that America didn't seem to properly prepare England with lubricant, even though he seemed very concerned about moving too fast initially. My thoughts go out to England's poor ass.
But! They seemed very sweet on each other, which I find absolutely adorable. :) All in all it was a very nice fill, anon! Thanks for writing it!
captcha: the fructose. Sugar indeed, captcha.
Reply
As to why they are in Canada's room, that's also based off of personal experience. My mom was with my sis & Canada's parent is currently..... ya. Wasn't too sure about how to solve that problem. Also, my style is a little.... flawed because I'm new. I write one shots, but I'm actually kind of a failure at plot. *is embarassed*
Sorry. I'll try to work on it. Still new. This is my smut virginity. *blush*pop*
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