A Poverty of Self (1/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 05:46:46 UTC
Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. -Sir Francis Bacon
3. Igirisu
There’s a story that England remembers on his last night in Nagasaki.
“There’s a girl,” he says, sitting stiffly as Japan blinks an impassive eye. “And she’s stuck in a tower.”
“Is this tower in your home country?” he asks, all seriousness.
“No, nothing like that. This happened a long time ago. In France. Or Germany- I don’t know.” He forgotten the once-upon-a-time. England swallows, shakes himself. “Once upon a time, there was a girl trapped in a tower by a horrible witch. And so she never saw the outside world her entire life, because she was trapped so far away.”
Kiku nods -isn’t that sad?-shuffling to the corner of the room and lighting a candle. He fans the flames and his skin glows in the welcoming light. Arthur watches him move, entranced by the shadows that flicker across the tatami mats
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (2/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 05:52:47 UTC
“No,” Kiku whispers, eyes clouded with what could be regret (or anything, really; England doesn’t know because Japan won’t let him in). “And I…I don’t think this is a love story.”
Trade proposal rejected, Arthur leaves the islands of Japan floating behind him as he sails off home, wondering, guessing at himself and his own feelings. Ever mysterious, Kiku stands on the dock to watch him go.
-
5. Doitsu Ludwig notices Japan staring at him during training when they’re running laps in the dusty roads around his house, where trains run loaded with conscripts to Manchuria. He’s looking at the lines of Germany’s own uniform so hard and with so much focus that Ludwig wonders whether he can even hear the cries of widows and daughters on the platform around them. Ludwig swallows, but says nothing
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (3/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 05:57:02 UTC
“You were wrong,” snarls Japan, angry and low and so unlike the Japan anyone sees. “You were all wrong- I never wanted any of you-“
When they finally collapse, heart thudding in his ears, Kiku winds fingers into his hair to let it down in gentle strokes. Possession, or trust, or the lack of it. Knowing Japan, knowing himself, it is all three at once.
In a way, Germany is aware, then, that he loves Japan. Because of the world, and the railway, and Francis and Ivan and anger. Germany has his own revenge to take. In Europe, surrounded, Ludwig had been somehow just as alone as Kiku had.
“We are the same, you and I,” Japan murmurs above him. His eyes are on his face but they see beyond him, blank and troubled.
They are alike, Japan and he. “America will show you no mercy in the Pacific,” he whispers.
The grip in Ludwig’s hair tightens. “No,” he agrees, “he never has.”
Italy, asleep, unaware and happy, remains just out of reach.
-
4. Amerika “Love,” says America, “is a wonderful thing. When two people love each other, oh,
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (4/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 05:59:48 UTC
A rattling breath. Japan’s eyes flicker to his face, down, back up, away. “Love…others are not what I need,” he says weakly.
Firmly, kindly, he pulls him to his feet and presses his forehead against his. “I’ve seen the way you look at me,” America quips, an eager child, sotto voce. “That could be love.”
“America,” he gasps, struggling only the slightest. “America-san, please don’t do this. This is inappropriate-“
It’s for Japan’s own good, what Alfred’s about to do. “Cut loose a little, Japan.”
“Please,” he whispers, whimpers. His eyes are narrowed, trembling. “Don’t make me, let me stay here, please, don’t-“
Alfred breaks the kiss, expecting to see Kiku’s face flushed, maybe scandalised, but Japan is not looking at him. Japan is crying brokenly with the intensity of a small child, like he has been violated, not kissed, and this isn’t the romance that America had promised at all. All they can do is stand on the shore as the sun sets, America holding him and Japan sobbing and sobbing until night falls because he loves him,
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (5/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 06:03:04 UTC
“No, Japan, you don’t. This isn’t about what happened this month, this week, today! I love you, I do. You’re so beautiful, fascinating, captivating! How could I not?” He pulls him closer and presses a kiss to the top of his head; Kiku makes a small noise like a mouse being trod on. He laughs.
Then, he sobers. “But Japan, I’m not a man who can stay in one place. I have to go, because I…I live for the colonies and the navigation and that discovery. Without that, I am not half the man you think I am. This,” he tightens his arm around Japan’s body, “is what it is because we are so different and this is all new. I…I don’t really know you, Japan. You don’t really know me. And as much as I’d love to stay and learn everything about you, we don’t have that time
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (6/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 06:06:26 UTC
She opens her mouth to retort, no wilting flower, but a bomb blast shatters their peace. Taiwan feels the impact hit low and deep as the window frames of their house rattle like thunder. Japan doesn’t flinch anymore
( ... )
A Poverty of Self (7/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 06:09:03 UTC
Face wet and scrunched and shuddering with sobs and something like lost innocence, perhaps, this strange child shakes his head and gazes up at China, wanting, not understanding.
And he asks, “Is loneliness a bad thing?”
“Yes.” China frowns. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”
-
7. Nihon
Ask Japan about love and he, invariably, will flinch.
He’ll blush too, after that.
It could be because he never really understood the concept until others came and showed him, indeed, what love is meant to be.
Japan’s idea of love is of princesses waiting to be rescued from tall towers; of romantic gestures that lead to angry, bitter, lonely sex; of video games and predictable, cause-and-effect 2D lovers; of foreign affairs and war brides that live happily-ever-after, or would if their princes didn’t die tragically; of Valentines Day and White Day and money; of idyllic first loves and childhood sweethearts in dysfunction, maid-robots and don’t-leave-me-don’t-abandon-me-don’t-KILL-me And they all laugh at Japan’s awkward attempts to
( ... )
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 12:29:39 UTC
Anon, I seriously have no words for how much I just enjoyed this. I was just expecting some cute/sexy/sad anecdotes -- just simple moments in time -- but this really, really moved me. I don't even know what to say right now, but thank you for writing this. <3 I'll be back to reread this and make a longer comment later, I think, but I have to wake up the kids, etc. Argh.
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 15:30:41 UTC
Love anon <3 You deserve much of it, especially for filling with Japan-- I always find him hard to grasp. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect but these were wonderful to read and you did a great job~
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 22:18:49 UTC
Incredibly wonderful. I clicked this out of vague curiosity to see which Japan pairings you'd choose, and I was not disappointed, especially with that last one. I think that you have a very solid understanding of both Japan's history and his character, in Hetalia and in the real world, and it shows very clearly. Well done.
Re: author's note
anonymous
April 23 2011, 07:46:52 UTC
This is how I would characterise Japan if I could write him in anything other than brief, amusing shorts at the end of my fics.
The thing that I think really make this a brilliant piece of work is the fact that it is historically correct and yet fits perfectly with both the canon and (decent) fanon characterisation of Japan.
Reply
-Sir Francis Bacon
3. Igirisu
There’s a story that England remembers on his last night in Nagasaki.
“There’s a girl,” he says, sitting stiffly as Japan blinks an impassive eye. “And she’s stuck in a tower.”
“Is this tower in your home country?” he asks, all seriousness.
“No, nothing like that. This happened a long time ago. In France. Or Germany- I don’t know.” He forgotten the once-upon-a-time. England swallows, shakes himself. “Once upon a time, there was a girl trapped in a tower by a horrible witch. And so she never saw the outside world her entire life, because she was trapped so far away.”
Kiku nods -isn’t that sad?-shuffling to the corner of the room and lighting a candle. He fans the flames and his skin glows in the welcoming light. Arthur watches him move, entranced by the shadows that flicker across the tatami mats ( ... )
Reply
Trade proposal rejected, Arthur leaves the islands of Japan floating behind him as he sails off home, wondering, guessing at himself and his own feelings. Ever mysterious, Kiku stands on the dock to watch him go.
-
5. Doitsu Ludwig notices Japan staring at him during training when they’re running laps in the dusty roads around his house, where trains run loaded with conscripts to Manchuria. He’s looking at the lines of Germany’s own uniform so hard and with so much focus that Ludwig wonders whether he can even hear the cries of widows and daughters on the platform around them. Ludwig swallows, but says nothing ( ... )
Reply
When they finally collapse, heart thudding in his ears, Kiku winds fingers into his hair to let it down in gentle strokes. Possession, or trust, or the lack of it. Knowing Japan, knowing himself, it is all three at once.
In a way, Germany is aware, then, that he loves Japan. Because of the world, and the railway, and Francis and Ivan and anger. Germany has his own revenge to take. In Europe, surrounded, Ludwig had been somehow just as alone as Kiku had.
“We are the same, you and I,” Japan murmurs above him. His eyes are on his face but they see beyond him, blank and troubled.
They are alike, Japan and he. “America will show you no mercy in the Pacific,” he whispers.
The grip in Ludwig’s hair tightens. “No,” he agrees, “he never has.”
Italy, asleep, unaware and happy, remains just out of reach.
-
4. Amerika “Love,” says America, “is a wonderful thing. When two people love each other, oh, ( ... )
Reply
Firmly, kindly, he pulls him to his feet and presses his forehead against his. “I’ve seen the way you look at me,” America quips, an eager child, sotto voce. “That could be love.”
“America,” he gasps, struggling only the slightest. “America-san, please don’t do this. This is inappropriate-“
It’s for Japan’s own good, what Alfred’s about to do. “Cut loose a little, Japan.”
“Please,” he whispers, whimpers. His eyes are narrowed, trembling. “Don’t make me, let me stay here, please, don’t-“
Alfred breaks the kiss, expecting to see Kiku’s face flushed, maybe scandalised, but Japan is not looking at him. Japan is crying brokenly with the intensity of a small child, like he has been violated, not kissed, and this isn’t the romance that America had promised at all. All they can do is stand on the shore as the sun sets, America holding him and Japan sobbing and sobbing until night falls because he loves him, ( ... )
Reply
Then, he sobers. “But Japan, I’m not a man who can stay in one place. I have to go, because I…I live for the colonies and the navigation and that discovery. Without that, I am not half the man you think I am. This,” he tightens his arm around Japan’s body, “is what it is because we are so different and this is all new. I…I don’t really know you, Japan. You don’t really know me. And as much as I’d love to stay and learn everything about you, we don’t have that time ( ... )
Reply
Reply
And he asks, “Is loneliness a bad thing?”
“Yes.” China frowns. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”
-
7. Nihon
Ask Japan about love and he, invariably, will flinch.
He’ll blush too, after that.
It could be because he never really understood the concept until others came and showed him, indeed, what love is meant to be.
Japan’s idea of love is of princesses waiting to be rescued from tall towers; of romantic gestures that lead to angry, bitter, lonely sex; of video games and predictable, cause-and-effect 2D lovers; of foreign affairs and war brides that live happily-ever-after, or would if their princes didn’t die tragically; of Valentines Day and White Day and money; of idyllic first loves and childhood sweethearts in dysfunction, maid-robots and don’t-leave-me-don’t-abandon-me-don’t-KILL-me And they all laugh at Japan’s awkward attempts to ( ... )
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... <3
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Insightful.
Beautiful.
...I have no more words for this.
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The thing that I think really make this a brilliant piece of work is the fact that it is historically correct and yet fits perfectly with both the canon and (decent) fanon characterisation of Japan.
Really, a brilliant piece altogether.
Reply
I can't seem to think of any other words to say.
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