“I wish he would disappear!”At first, the pain was just a small twitch in the back of his head, not even enough to disrupt his sleep; it was tame but continuous, humming in the background, under his conscious levels
( ... )
Sore, confused, dizzy… a thought wormed itself up until it was the only thing he could think of, a burning need, strong and invasive, coming from his childhood together with almost forgotten memories -protected and shielded by the hands of his caretaker.
Spain.
He needed to see Spain.
Unbidden, overwhelming -Spain would help. He would hold him close and pet him, and everything would be alright.
Fumbling with his clothes, Romano left the house so early that the sun was barely up in the sky, birds strangely quiet outside his window.
He walked down the streets, barely noticing how they were strangely empty -no people yelling their prices, no one moving around with fresh meat and fish, no kids laughing…
Everything felt off.
“I never wanted to be an half of a whole, the half that is not recognised, the unimportant half!”As he passed through an ally, footsteps echoing in the silence, the sound of a radio hit his ears and he stumbled backwards in shock
( ... )
“That pain… it is… it’s only yours, Lovi. There is no… there is no Feli. Not anymore. There is no Italy. There is just… just you. He’s gone”.
The sound of a heart breaking.
Soft, almost like the pause of silence between one heartbeat and another.
The pain still hummed through his body, but was almost forgotten. Dull. Ears buzzing. Mouth dry.
Fingers digging into the asphalt, bleeding into it.
There is no Italy.
…-…-…-…
Romano could hear them -outside of the room, talking. He could hear the hushed whispers that Hungary was trying to hide, the louder comments of America, the insults England threw at him for yelling.
So many nations were there to see him, and he didn’t want to see any of them.
They had been swarming to the house -his brother’s house. His own house- after Spain had brought him there, wanting to know if…
Italy was gone.
The pain was still rumbling inside him, a dull wave through his body, but his brain was clearer now. He could feel it.
The lack of something inside him -his brother’s heart beating together with
( ... )
Hungary hesitated before moving towards him, one hand delicately pressed against his shoulder -he barely felt it through the terrible ache. Three days, and it was still there.
“It was my fault,” he repeated in the same tone.
This time, Spain also moved closer.
“Stop saying stupid things…” Hungary’s eyes filled with tears again. “Go back to bed, I’ll bring you some soup later on-”
“I wanted him gone,” he continued.
Hungary’s hand shifted away from his shoulder.
“I told him I hated him. I told him I didn’t need him. I told him that-” he choked on his sobs, pulling the blanket around his thin frame. “-that I wished he’d be gone”.
Spain’s arms once again around his body. Warm. He didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t deserve Spain and Hungary caring for him. He didn’t deserve it when he’d killed his brother. Wished him gone.
“I had never been that cruel before. I didn’t mean it. Oh, Dio, I didn’t mean it!”
How weak he sounded. How terribly weak.It was his fault. It was eating him from inside
( ... )
“I’m waiting,” he murmured, ignoring once again Spain’s attempts at talking. “Talk to me. I’m here”.
He looked outside, the streetlamp illuminating a few boats in the canal in front of him. It looked so peaceful. Beautiful. Like Veneziano was.
“I’m talking, Lovi! If only you could listen-”
“I’m not referring to you, bastard,” he murmured. “I’m talking to Feli”.
A whiff of cool air hit his face. His heart sped up again.
“Can we play hide-and-seek, ve~? I’m hiding already, come and find me~”A shadow flickered in the corner of his eyes, but when he looked, it was gone
( ... )
Re: Voice [7/7]
anonymous
July 24 2010, 15:37:08 UTC
I say no, but apparently I like to kill off poor Veneziano.
This was such a difficult read, anon - and I mean it in the better way possible. When you described Romano's pain, I could feel it so well... So heartbreaking and pained. (Also I liked that you left in doubt if it's actually Romano's fault or if he's simply blaming himself because his last words to his brother were so harsh).
Re: Voice [7/7]
anonymous
July 24 2010, 16:26:30 UTC
Holy shit. Damn. No.
I can't convey my feelings right now, writernon. This is just too much. ;A; Lovino is my absolute favourite character, and seeing him like this seriously breaks my heart. A big, dark cloud of hopelessness came looming over me just now, and I... I feel so depressed all of a sudden. Gah. OTL Serves me right for reading this kind of stuff when I know that I can't handle it.
Anyway! It'd be a fat lie if I said I didn't want a "bad" ending where Feli is gone for real and doesn't come back, even though I'll be bawwing my eyes out (am I a masochist? ;; ), but... I can't bring myself to vote for that. Therefore, I won't take any side at all. Whether or not he comes back, I'll still be weeping, so...
Now then. I'm off to read something fluffy, to get my mind off this. Bookmarked for life, and I'm looking forward to the continuation! Please continue being awesome, writernon. You smash my heart into tiny little pieces, in a good way. <333
Re: Voice [7/7]
anonymous
July 26 2010, 12:15:11 UTC
It's heartbreakingly lovely, anon ;A; The fill hurts, but in a good way I guess? But poor Feli. It's hard to pick a side when both options are tempting. I could see there being enough "evidence" for him to be back or for him not to be. Though...I also couldn't help but wonder if the last bit could also be interpreted as Lovino's own impending fall after having gone mad. Thus he is hallucinating his brother more, or Feli would only be back at the cost of his disappearance (or the Together In Death trope applies).
If you do a sort of continuation, good or bad, it will be intriguing to read.
Re: Voice [7/7]
anonymous
August 2 2010, 13:14:45 UTC
Gods I just- D*8 You made me cry anon. I don't usually read deathfic but the writing was just so damn good & before I knew it...
I somehow believe that if Feli didn't come back (and I don't think he did -sob-) his soul melded with Lovi's so they're one. Which is heartbreaking in it's own right. The final word of course sort of undermines that possibility, but let me think it anyway :(
Original request: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/9482.html?thread=13483530#t13483530
(one of the Italies wishes the other to be gone. Then they have to cope with the consequences of their wish.)
Italy Romano wishes for his brother to be gone.
---
“I wish he would disappear!”At first, the pain was just a small twitch in the back of his head, not even enough to disrupt his sleep; it was tame but continuous, humming in the background, under his conscious levels ( ... )
Reply
Spain.
He needed to see Spain.
Unbidden, overwhelming -Spain would help. He would hold him close and pet him, and everything would be alright.
Fumbling with his clothes, Romano left the house so early that the sun was barely up in the sky, birds strangely quiet outside his window.
He walked down the streets, barely noticing how they were strangely empty -no people yelling their prices, no one moving around with fresh meat and fish, no kids laughing…
Everything felt off.
“I never wanted to be an half of a whole, the half that is not recognised, the unimportant half!”As he passed through an ally, footsteps echoing in the silence, the sound of a radio hit his ears and he stumbled backwards in shock ( ... )
Reply
Reply
The sound of a heart breaking.
Soft, almost like the pause of silence between one heartbeat and another.
The pain still hummed through his body, but was almost forgotten. Dull. Ears buzzing. Mouth dry.
Fingers digging into the asphalt, bleeding into it.
There is no Italy.
…-…-…-…
Romano could hear them -outside of the room, talking. He could hear the hushed whispers that Hungary was trying to hide, the louder comments of America, the insults England threw at him for yelling.
So many nations were there to see him, and he didn’t want to see any of them.
They had been swarming to the house -his brother’s house. His own house- after Spain had brought him there, wanting to know if…
Italy was gone.
The pain was still rumbling inside him, a dull wave through his body, but his brain was clearer now. He could feel it.
The lack of something inside him -his brother’s heart beating together with ( ... )
Reply
“It was my fault,” he repeated in the same tone.
This time, Spain also moved closer.
“Stop saying stupid things…” Hungary’s eyes filled with tears again. “Go back to bed, I’ll bring you some soup later on-”
“I wanted him gone,” he continued.
Hungary’s hand shifted away from his shoulder.
“I told him I hated him. I told him I didn’t need him. I told him that-” he choked on his sobs, pulling the blanket around his thin frame. “-that I wished he’d be gone”.
Spain’s arms once again around his body. Warm. He didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t deserve Spain and Hungary caring for him. He didn’t deserve it when he’d killed his brother. Wished him gone.
“I had never been that cruel before. I didn’t mean it. Oh, Dio, I didn’t mean it!”
How weak he sounded. How terribly weak.It was his fault. It was eating him from inside ( ... )
Reply
More land, more people, the pain -nothing of it was worth it.
Where was his brother?
He wanted him back!
“Is this a joke? Why won’t you come back?”
He’d be back for sure.
It was Veneziano. He’d be back ( ... )
Reply
He looked outside, the streetlamp illuminating a few boats in the canal in front of him. It looked so peaceful. Beautiful. Like Veneziano was.
“I’m talking, Lovi! If only you could listen-”
“I’m not referring to you, bastard,” he murmured. “I’m talking to Feli”.
A whiff of cool air hit his face. His heart sped up again.
“Can we play hide-and-seek, ve~? I’m hiding already, come and find me~”A shadow flickered in the corner of his eyes, but when he looked, it was gone ( ... )
Reply
This was such a difficult read, anon - and I mean it in the better way possible. When you described Romano's pain, I could feel it so well... So heartbreaking and pained. (Also I liked that you left in doubt if it's actually Romano's fault or if he's simply blaming himself because his last words to his brother were so harsh).
Reply
Damn.
No.
I can't convey my feelings right now, writernon. This is just too much. ;A; Lovino is my absolute favourite character, and seeing him like this seriously breaks my heart. A big, dark cloud of hopelessness came looming over me just now, and I... I feel so depressed all of a sudden. Gah. OTL Serves me right for reading this kind of stuff when I know that I can't handle it.
Anyway! It'd be a fat lie if I said I didn't want a "bad" ending where Feli is gone for real and doesn't come back, even though I'll be bawwing my eyes out (am I a masochist? ;; ), but... I can't bring myself to vote for that. Therefore, I won't take any side at all. Whether or not he comes back, I'll still be weeping, so...
Now then. I'm off to read something fluffy, to get my mind off this. Bookmarked for life, and I'm looking forward to the continuation! Please continue being awesome, writernon. You smash my heart into tiny little pieces, in a good way. <333
Reply
D8
If this is based off of that song, and I think it is, then Lovino died and Feli took his place?
D8
/sobs anyway
Reply
and no, of course no. It's Lovino who survives, and Feli...
Reply
The fill hurts, but in a good way I guess? But poor Feli. It's hard to pick a side when both options are tempting.
I could see there being enough "evidence" for him to be back or for him not to be. Though...I also couldn't help but wonder if the last bit could also be interpreted as Lovino's own impending fall after having gone mad. Thus he is hallucinating his brother more, or Feli would only be back at the cost of his disappearance (or the Together In Death trope applies).
If you do a sort of continuation, good or bad, it will be intriguing to read.
Reply
Reply
I somehow believe that if Feli didn't come back (and I don't think he did -sob-) his soul melded with Lovi's so they're one. Which is heartbreaking in it's own right. The final word of course sort of undermines that possibility, but let me think it anyway :(
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