Castles in the sky [1/4]
anonymous
July 18 2010, 21:01:20 UTC
Castles in the sky
Although the night was full of stars, there was such death in the sky that she could not take any pleasure in the stars now. The sun had dipped down, dragging the air below freezing point and the silver sky, bright with clusters of stars, were cold, distant strangers that taunted the earth. When the wind stirred absently, it was to bring the bitter bite of frost and stir the dust beneath her feet.
Dust stung her eyes until she pulled her goggles down. Dust by daylight clung to sweat and coated their bones. Dust by twilight rubbed the throat and choked children to death. Dust by dawn, dust by dusk.
You’re dancing with dust, my dear. Dancing with dust.Hungary clung to her bulky, plastic suit, shifting dust beneath her feet
( ... )
Re: Castles in the sky [2/4]
anonymous
July 18 2010, 21:03:32 UTC
Joining the other-men on their expeditions was partly to immerse herself in the natural world - even if that world would bite her skin with sores and weaken her bones without her protective suit - but partly because she could not bear the pleasures of the pleasure dome, this bird’s golden cage. The air was filtered and unnatural; the wind had no smell, the trees were polystyrene and the grass plastic
( ... )
Re: Castles in the sky [4/4]
anonymous
July 18 2010, 21:09:31 UTC
You’re dancing with dust my dear, dancing with dust.“Woman,” Prussia offered her his hand, looking very hard into her eyes. It was the most discourteous manner in which she had ever been asked to dance
( ... )
Re: Castles in the sky [4/4]
anonymous
July 19 2010, 15:25:56 UTC
I just want you to know that I loved everything about this fill. The imagagery, the setting, the characterization - I could have read on forever. And it took me three reads to realise that Prussia is actually not there, which only emphasizes my favorite line in this fill:
“You have two left feet,” she declined his hand. He stayed it.
Re: Castles in the sky [4/4]
anonymous
July 20 2010, 20:35:10 UTC
Anon, this is beautiful.
I love the 'you're dancing with dust, my dear, dancing with dust' line and how it showed up in the beginning and just kept coming back. The repetition just brings this whole thing together, and the imagery and just the feel of your writing is just so right. What a wonderful fill.
Re: Castles in the sky [4/4]
anonymous
August 15 2010, 20:19:03 UTC
Whoa anon, this is amazing. I didn't even catch it till I saw the comments that Prussia wasn't even there. Your writing is enthralling and vivid; thanks so much for writing this! <3
Although the night was full of stars, there was such death in the sky that she could not take any pleasure in the stars now. The sun had dipped down, dragging the air below freezing point and the silver sky, bright with clusters of stars, were cold, distant strangers that taunted the earth. When the wind stirred absently, it was to bring the bitter bite of frost and stir the dust beneath her feet.
Dust stung her eyes until she pulled her goggles down. Dust by daylight clung to sweat and coated their bones. Dust by twilight rubbed the throat and choked children to death. Dust by dawn, dust by dusk.
You’re dancing with dust, my dear. Dancing with dust.Hungary clung to her bulky, plastic suit, shifting dust beneath her feet ( ... )
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The imagagery, the setting, the characterization - I could have read on forever.
And it took me three reads to realise that Prussia is actually not there, which only emphasizes my favorite line in this fill:
“You have two left feet,” she declined his hand. He stayed it.
“I’m as light as air!”
“You’re my captive.”
Reply
I love the 'you're dancing with dust, my dear, dancing with dust' line and how it showed up in the beginning and just kept coming back. The repetition just brings this whole thing together, and the imagery and just the feel of your writing is just so right. What a wonderful fill.
Reply
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