Three Bad (Touch) Things Go Good Together
anonymous
April 8 2011, 23:53:38 UTC
(Human names are used: Francoise is France, Angela is Spain, and Gretel is Prussia)
Gretel had a vague idea for why she was in the position she was. She, Francoise and Angela were out drinking the night before, and in the ensuing drunken haze, she was taken back to Francoise's house. Currently, Gretel was handcuffed to the bedpost as Francoise and Angela strolled in.
"Francoise! What the fuck is this?! Why am I cuffed?"
Francoise walked towards Gretel and stroked under the bound woman's chin. "Why do you think?"
Slowly, it dawned upon Gretel. "What? The Awesome Me can't bottom! Ask Madeline, and she'll tell you that I have never bottomed once in my life
( ... )
Mi Estellas (1a/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 06:39:01 UTC
Do you mind two fills? XD I started this one so...
Mi EstellasAntonia could see stars. Literally, actually, since the curtains to the bedroom were open. and her current position allowed her to gaze at the twinkling lights in the sky. Lips brushed over skin. One grazing across her stomach while another moved along her neck. She reached down to entangle her hands in two sets of hair that were as familiar as her own. Her eyes were still on the window. "The sky tonight is made for lovers." She murmurred
( ... )
Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 06:40:13 UTC
She'd read somewhere about two halves of the same whole. Or perhaps someone had spoken of it to her? That was how others saw love. As two, always as two. To them these passionate touches and desperate mewls would be no more than lust and desire. Could be no more, because love was only supposed to exist in twos. She didn't think it was selfishness, or lack of ability to be satisfied with one lover, that drove her to drown herself in the two's embrace again and again. They both held an equal place to her. Equally as important, equally as dear. She had no analogy to give to it. Didn't care a wit about those who said it wasn't how love worked. They simply didn't love as she did. She felt comfortable around either. She only felt whole around both. Nothing else mattered. Her arms tightened drawing them closer, her lips moving up the tanned neck at her disposal. This moment was all that mattered
( ... )
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 13:16:53 UTC
"She'd read somewhere about two halves of the same whole. Or perhaps someone had spoken of it to her? That was how others saw love. As two, always as two. To them these passionate touches and desperate mewls would be no more than lust and desire. Could be no more, because love was only supposed to exist in twos. She didn't think it was selfishness, or lack of ability to be satisfied with one lover, that drove her to drown herself in the two's embrace again and again. They both held an equal place to her. Equally as important, equally as dear. She had no analogy to give to it. Didn't care a wit about those who said it wasn't how love worked. They simply didn't love as she did. She felt comfortable around either. She only felt whole around both." <--- This whole paragraph; I love it. Love is expressed in so many different ways, we can't just limit it to two people.
I enjoyed reading this short fill. Thanks for writing it!
Oh, by the way, your title should be "Mis Estellas" because "Estellas" is plural. But it's not a big deal, so
( ... )
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 15:48:55 UTC
More Spanish correction in case you feel like posting this in another place:
Quierdo = Not even a word, it would be "Querido" but that's masculine so you should use "Querida" when addressing a woman.
Carino: Actually "Cariño" but is ok if your keyboard doesn't have that letter.
Moreno: Again a masculine, should be "Morena".
Mas, Gil. De mas en mas o cada vez mas...: That doesn't actually makes sense "More, Gil. Of more to more or every time more". I'll suggest something along the lines: "Más, Gil. Más, más fuerte, no te detengas. Cada vez más." (More, Fil. More, stronger, don't stop. Every time more.)
The problem of plural and singular of the title have already been address so I'll leave it there.
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 06:58:25 UTC
Thank-you for all the corrections. My on-line searching skills clearly fail. I ironically know people who speak both french and spanish, but the thought of handing them a pwp femslash fic and asking them to correct it would be...awkward. LOL
I've made all the corrections you suggested in my own copy in case I de-anon with it somewhere. Thank-you for them, and the compliment on the fic itself.
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 00:09:19 UTC
Awwwwwwwwww, wonderful lesbian poly-love. <3 Gotta love it.
Sorry, though, I must comment. xD; Above anons commented on the Spanish already but you might want to check the French too. At least "tricheur" is male. It should be "tricheuse".
And hey, why no German? :( Not romantic enough for you? (... and btw, no offense to anyone who actually has that name but.... Gilbertine....? *cackles*)
Okay, never mind the complaints, I love you still. xD<3
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 07:04:39 UTC
Yah, I figured they were both slightly fail. But, man, I didn't realize how fail. Sigh. That'll teach me a lesson about inserting languages I don't speak into fics.
Oh, it wasn't that the language wasn't romantic enough. It's that the character of Prussia wasn't romantic enough. LOL I was going to add German too, but then...she never said anything I could think of to translate. For all that she didn't shut up. *blushes over name* Blame the baby name sites and the lack of sensible feminine versions of Gilbert.
Haha...well, I'm glad despite language and character naming failure it was enjoyable to read.
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Gretel had a vague idea for why she was in the position she was. She, Francoise and Angela were out drinking the night before, and in the ensuing drunken haze, she was taken back to Francoise's house. Currently, Gretel was handcuffed to the bedpost as Francoise and Angela strolled in.
"Francoise! What the fuck is this?! Why am I cuffed?"
Francoise walked towards Gretel and stroked under the bound woman's chin. "Why do you think?"
Slowly, it dawned upon Gretel. "What? The Awesome Me can't bottom! Ask Madeline, and she'll tell you that I have never bottomed once in my life ( ... )
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Was that a PruCan hint there, btw?
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Mi EstellasAntonia could see stars. Literally, actually, since the curtains to the bedroom were open. and her current position allowed her to gaze at the twinkling lights in the sky. Lips brushed over skin. One grazing across her stomach while another moved along her neck. She reached down to entangle her hands in two sets of hair that were as familiar as her own. Her eyes were still on the window. "The sky tonight is made for lovers." She murmurred ( ... )
Reply
Reply
I enjoyed reading this short fill. Thanks for writing it!
Oh, by the way, your title should be "Mis Estellas" because "Estellas" is plural. But it's not a big deal, so ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
Quierdo = Not even a word, it would be "Querido" but that's masculine so you should use "Querida" when addressing a woman.
Carino: Actually "Cariño" but is ok if your keyboard doesn't have that letter.
Moreno: Again a masculine, should be "Morena".
Mas, Gil. De mas en mas o cada vez mas...: That doesn't actually makes sense "More, Gil. Of more to more or every time more". I'll suggest something along the lines: "Más, Gil. Más, más fuerte, no te detengas. Cada vez más." (More, Fil. More, stronger, don't stop. Every time more.)
The problem of plural and singular of the title have already been address so I'll leave it there.
Nice Fem Slash BTW.
Reply
I've made all the corrections you suggested in my own copy in case I de-anon with it somewhere. Thank-you for them, and the compliment on the fic itself.
Reply
I hope you de-anon someday since is a really nice fill.
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Sorry, though, I must comment. xD; Above anons commented on the Spanish already but you might want to check the French too. At least "tricheur" is male. It should be "tricheuse".
And hey, why no German? :( Not romantic enough for you? (... and btw, no offense to anyone who actually has that name but.... Gilbertine....? *cackles*)
Okay, never mind the complaints, I love you still. xD<3
Reply
Oh, it wasn't that the language wasn't romantic enough. It's that the character of Prussia wasn't romantic enough. LOL I was going to add German too, but then...she never said anything I could think of to translate. For all that she didn't shut up. *blushes over name* Blame the baby name sites and the lack of sensible feminine versions of Gilbert.
Haha...well, I'm glad despite language and character naming failure it was enjoyable to read.
Reply
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