Small summary: One night, while having a sexy time with Arthur, Alfred blurts out "will you marry me?". This isn't Arthur's idea of romantic, so he gets upset and leaves. Cue Alfred proposing again, much sweeter this time.
But baby, I love you! [1a/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 21:47:12 UTC
The air was hot and heavy with passion, small noises and moans coming from the bed in the corner. Whispers were being exchanged between its two occupants, sometimes interrupted by gasps or whimpers. Slowly, as the minutes ticked by, the noises became louder and more frequent, now accompanied by the sound of the bed rhythmically thumping against the wall
( ... )
But baby, I love you! [1b/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 21:49:26 UTC
“W-Wait, Arthur!” he called back, furiously fumbling to get dressed.
“What!?” Arthur’s watery voice yelled back from the other side.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say it out loud!” he replied, swearing as he struggled with his jeans.
“But you did!”
“I wasn’t planning on it, I swear!” Alfred groaned, slipping his shirt on and realizing it was Arthur’s.
“You don’t propose to someone during sex, Alfred, you just don’t!” Arthur’s wavering voice was now riddled with tears, and Alfred’s heart wrenched because he knew that Arthur was probably crying because of him. Oh well, at least he wasn’t calling him ‘America’ anymore. Alfred felt painfully distant whenever his lover called him that.
“I know, but I love you, baby! Where I ask you to marry me shouldn’t matter!” Alfred argued, trying to open the door and finding it locked from the outside. Thankfully, the pants he was wearing were his, so he quickly fumbled around for the keys.
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY
( ... )
But baby, I love you! [2a/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 21:50:39 UTC
The two were painfully distant the next morning, at the meeting. Everyone felt that cold aura hanging overhead, but not even France dared to joke about it. No one knew what had happened, but Alfred and Arthur had not interacted over anything else than a strictly polite ‘good morning
( ... )
But baby, I love you! [2b/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 21:52:05 UTC
“Okay, so I know this is surprising for all of you, because usually, I crash meetings and stuff, but please listen to me cause this is real important.” He started, a smile pushing its way on his face. “First of all, this ain’t about superheroes, nor is it about super technologically-advanced robots we can send to destroy the aliens waiting to invade us on their base on Venus. Because they are, and we should discuss this some other time
( ... )
But baby, I love you! [2c/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 21:59:13 UTC
“As everyone must probably be suspecting right now, I fucked up. Hardly the appropriate language for a meeting, but there is no other way to put it. I have made a huge error, and I don’t know if I can fix it. Still, I’m the US of A, one of the world’s most powerful countries, and whatever challenge comes at me, I can take
( ... )
But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 22:01:26 UTC
Arthur put his hands to his mouth, trying to stifle the gasp that tried to escape him. His lungs were burning for air, and he couldn’t breathe to alleviate the pain because he was so shocked. His heart was beating fast against his ribcage, and he dully wondered if the occupants of the room could hear it
( ... )
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 28 2011, 00:12:23 UTC
Aaaawwww. So cute. It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
However, there are two things that bothered me a little bit about this fill. First of all is Arthur's characterization. I love the idea that he's a secret romantic, but he was a bit too blatantly emotional in this fic, especially at the end. Also about the end, some of the reactions of the other nations threw me off. The gasping and cheering? I can't help but think most of them would either be like "yeah, whatevs" or think it was funny.
Over all, I think my main issue is that the characters acted a little too stereotypically. This was a really great fic, you just need to work on keeping the actual characters in mind while you write. I liked it, there's just some room for improvement.
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 28 2011, 19:37:14 UTC
IKR? Like I said, IC writing isn't natural for me (I'm secretly a sap *coughcough*), so "WTF IS THIS SHIT?" is a very normal response to have (: Thanks for reading, though, and I'll keep your suggestions in mind for the next time I write >3
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 29 2011, 00:50:04 UTC
FWIW, I enjoyed the fill :)
I especially loved all the angst right after the first proposal. I have my own secret dream of someone proposing to me romantically someday so Arthur's unhappiness made me cry too, especially this line:
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY ANKLES !”
And don't worry author!anon you wrote the sex scene very well!
Original request:
http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/16221.html?thread=47707229#t47707229
Small summary: One night, while having a sexy time with Arthur, Alfred blurts out "will you marry me?". This isn't Arthur's idea of romantic, so he gets upset and leaves. Cue Alfred proposing again, much sweeter this time.
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“What!?” Arthur’s watery voice yelled back from the other side.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say it out loud!” he replied, swearing as he struggled with his jeans.
“But you did!”
“I wasn’t planning on it, I swear!” Alfred groaned, slipping his shirt on and realizing it was Arthur’s.
“You don’t propose to someone during sex, Alfred, you just don’t!” Arthur’s wavering voice was now riddled with tears, and Alfred’s heart wrenched because he knew that Arthur was probably crying because of him. Oh well, at least he wasn’t calling him ‘America’ anymore. Alfred felt painfully distant whenever his lover called him that.
“I know, but I love you, baby! Where I ask you to marry me shouldn’t matter!” Alfred argued, trying to open the door and finding it locked from the outside. Thankfully, the pants he was wearing were his, so he quickly fumbled around for the keys.
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY ( ... )
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However, there are two things that bothered me a little bit about this fill.
First of all is Arthur's characterization. I love the idea that he's a secret romantic, but he was a bit too blatantly emotional in this fic, especially at the end.
Also about the end, some of the reactions of the other nations threw me off. The gasping and cheering? I can't help but think most of them would either be like "yeah, whatevs" or think it was funny.
Over all, I think my main issue is that the characters acted a little too stereotypically. This was a really great fic, you just need to work on keeping the actual characters in mind while you write. I liked it, there's just some room for improvement.
Reply
Reply
I especially loved all the angst right after the first proposal. I have my own secret dream of someone proposing to me romantically someday so Arthur's unhappiness made me cry too, especially this line:
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY ANKLES !”
And don't worry author!anon you wrote the sex scene very well!
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