UKUS - Murder mystery AU
anonymous
August 3 2011, 17:40:11 UTC
Arthur and Alfred are a detective team called in to investigate a series of bizarre murders in a small town. They have to deal with uncooperative witnesses, suspicious townsfolk, and constant snooping from the media (including Alfred's reporter brother Matthew). Victims and culprit(s) are up to you, but I'd prefer it to be someone completely unexpected.
Heartless [1/?]
anonymous
August 16 2011, 01:42:31 UTC
Chapter 1: We Introduce Our Heroes
There were two occupants of the train compartment. One was an excitable looking young man with bright blue eyes behind spectacles and the other was a man with shaggy hair reading the newspaper. Trying to read the newspaper anyways. The younger man was whistling most obnoxiously.
The older man turned the page with a pointed ’snap’ which was far too subtle a gesture for Sergeant Jones. He continued to whistle, tune indiscernible; Jones was tone-deaf
( ... )
Heartless [1b/?]
anonymous
August 16 2011, 01:54:29 UTC
The train from London to Upper Littleton arrived at 11:15. The detectives, the only people to descend from the train, were greeted by a gruff porter who barely spared them a glance.
With some difficultly Kirkland was able to wrestle from him direction to the inn and he and Jones made their way there.
The streets of Upper Littleton were mostly empty but curtains twitched as they passed by houses and stores.
Upper Littleton was one of those little villages that were not really entirely there. It was the sort of place that people went to when they wished to disappear or wished to simply be left alone. Kirkland had been raised in such a village and he knew that the locals would not be pleased with the interlopers no matter how frightened they were.
The inn, a surprisingly clean place called Lily of the Valley, sat overlooking the main square where the bodies had been discovered. The innkeeper was sitting behind the desk when they came in but was far more attentive to his customers than the train porter had been
( ... )
Heartless [2/?]
anonymous
August 23 2011, 01:37:12 UTC
Chapter 2: A House of Mourning and The Widow WithinIt was in some ways fortunate that the murders had occurred in the same house though certainly the occupants did not view it that way. Having fellow housemates bumped off could easily cause one to be a little on edge
( ... )
Heartless [2b/?]
anonymous
August 23 2011, 01:40:20 UTC
Kirkland brushed away his feelings of sympathy and said briskly, “Both Lady Eden. Perhaps we could begin with Ned Alders? Could you tell me how long he was in your employ
( ... )
Re: Heartless [2c/?]
anonymous
August 23 2011, 02:40:35 UTC
I am quite enjoying this! I've always been a sucker for a good detective story, and this certainly reads like one. I can't wait for it to get more in-depth, because it's already looking like a fun mystery. :)
One small thing, though... A lot of the characters you're using already have pre-established human names. I was wondering why you changed them? It makes it kind of hard to figure out who is who.
I did it because I am weirdly bothered by the idea of this small town in England that has all these foreigners in it because it just seems improbable to me. And I'm so sorry that's it hard to figure out and I hope it's not too off-putting. Hopefully it will get easier when I start actually describing the characters. I tried to go for similar sounding names but names like Finland's and Turkey's have few equilivants in English.
Late OP is late
anonymous
August 23 2011, 19:44:05 UTC
This is lovely, author!anon. It feels like I'm reading a professional novel. :) And awww, poor Hungary. I think I've said this before but I really love your characterization, it feels so canon and so realistic as well.
Bonus 1: Supernatural elements. Demons, magic, monsters, whatever.
Bonus 2: Yandere!Canada. Somehow.
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There were two occupants of the train compartment. One was an excitable looking young man with bright blue eyes behind spectacles and the other was a man with shaggy hair reading the newspaper. Trying to read the newspaper anyways. The younger man was whistling most obnoxiously.
The older man turned the page with a pointed ’snap’ which was far too subtle a gesture for Sergeant Jones. He continued to whistle, tune indiscernible; Jones was tone-deaf ( ... )
Reply
With some difficultly Kirkland was able to wrestle from him direction to the inn and he and Jones made their way there.
The streets of Upper Littleton were mostly empty but curtains twitched as they passed by houses and stores.
Upper Littleton was one of those little villages that were not really entirely there. It was the sort of place that people went to when they wished to disappear or wished to simply be left alone. Kirkland had been raised in such a village and he knew that the locals would not be pleased with the interlopers no matter how frightened they were.
The inn, a surprisingly clean place called Lily of the Valley, sat overlooking the main square where the bodies had been discovered. The innkeeper was sitting behind the desk when they came in but was far more attentive to his customers than the train porter had been ( ... )
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also, i love your writing style 8D
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One small thing, though... A lot of the characters you're using already have pre-established human names. I was wondering why you changed them? It makes it kind of hard to figure out who is who.
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Anyways...I'm glad you're enjoying the fill!
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