Hetalia kink meme part 21
axis powers
hetalia kink meme
part 21
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Bonus: Rome/Germania, as awkward and antagonistic as ever
Bonus 2: PruAus. Just because.
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This fill is just so - gah. It's PERFECT, that's what it is. I love how you've chosen to handle this - no-one's skipping through fluffy clouds, no-one's cuddling their loved ones and saying that the little time they have left is precious. It's so real, and you do get the feeling that they all know everything has changed, forever.
Thank you so much for filling, this is better than I ever imagined!
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Although, Gilbo's part was hard. I was terrified he was going to fall off the cliff. I know I would have orz.
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I think this fill has the potential to be something good, but it's just lacking... something. It seems to be rambling more than anything at some parts, and especially at the beginning, it's hard to keep track of who's point of view we're following the story from. The jumps between sections are a bit jerky and cut off, like we're suddenly ripped from that scene and placed into the next without a satisfying conclusion. You do a lot of "telling," try giving us some "showing" instead. Let us see how the nations are reacting, how they're dealing with everything that's happening.
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This review put the rest of what I couldn't put into words perfectly. Your fill really could be something great, and I'm definitely interested in seeing where it'll go.
Honestly, I originally wasn't even going to read this fill, but after circumstances beyond my control, I read through all 8 parts so far, and you did catch my attention. Please, take this as a learning opportunity, because that's what this was meant to be.
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Yes, I really do agree, actually. I was kind of hasty in writing those parts, and now I wish I could go back and edit them- from Japan to China. If I ever de-anon, I'll definitely change those. Thank you for the con-crit!
Beginnings for me are a rough spot, but I find everyone likes them a different way. Thanks for letting me know.
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(“You killed Yao,” big brother said sternly. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“It was his fault,” she told him. Big brother looked like he had the last time she’d seen him alive. The way he always had, perfect and handsome and strong and powerful. She wasn’t the same anymore, not like him. She always had that purple knitted hat from Katyusha on now, not that she minded. It was something that her big sister had made for her and her only and it was precious.”Yao killed you.”
“No, he didn’t,” he said in a scolding tone.
She knew that. But it was hard to accept, not something she wanted to accept. She knew that Yao was innocent of her brother’s murder. But of so many other things he was not innocent and Natalia could kill him for those. ”But he’s why you died.”
“Yao didn’t kill me,” Big Brother told her.
Not fair, she thought rebelliously. Not fair not fair not fair. ”You like him more than me.”
Brother nodded. Even in paradise, there was trouble, she’d heard, and this was no paradise but it didn’t lack trouble.)
-|-The streets of ( ... )
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Arthur wasn’t crying at all, his cheeks were dry, and Francis figured that he’d probably been crying before he got here. And then his heart sank, because really, how could he ever expect him to be okay with letting Francis see him cry?
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“Why don’t you show yourself out, Arthur?”
-|-
It was cold. (So cold.)
She was alone. (Everyone was dead.) She couldn’t make it alone.
She walked on in silence, through the snow, through mind-numbing emptiness. And she was ready. There was nothing left for her there. She missed her brave and strong and handsome brother and her doll-like sister with cornsilk hair that had once been beautiful and she was just so alone- It made her clench at her chest, or at least try, before she remembered she barely had any fingers left. It was too cold for her to cry, either, the tears ether freezing as they came out and forcing her eyes shut or not coming out at all. I don’t want this ( ... )
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