In order to celebrate HETALIA'S anime adaptation. AXIS POWERS HETALIA KINK MEME
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Okay, let's make history and be more epic than these people, shall we?
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I have in my time met quite a few people who were convinced
that Russia recently invaded the States.
And since Alfred isn't the brightest bulb in the batch,
I would like to see America approaching Russia
getting all in his face like "wtf is dis" and showing him
a paper talking about the Russian Invasion.
Somehow sex follows.
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This, of course, would have been regrettable under any circumstances; that it had to happen today, of all days, was particularly discouraging. He'd only just gotten back from the last of the meetings (a torture made only less bearable by France's incessant nagging), he was irritated, confused, and utterly exhausted, and right now what he desired more than anything else in the world (except perhaps for all the other things) was a hot, steaming, traditional cup of tea.
But no, the samovar was broken; damaged, perhaps, in some thoughtless bookshelf-clearing sweeping gesture of demonstrative frustration. He'd been prone to more of those again lately, which was worrying enough in itself. And as he glared at the irreparably cracked antique on the floor and clutched the bag of tea leaves protectively to his chest, he reflected that just about the only, only conceivable thing which could possibly make this morning any worse would have to be ( ... )
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"America, come here a minute, please," said Russia, not looking up from his search. Baffled, America complied, but he carefully maintained a bit of distance between the two of them as he joined Russia on the other side of the desk.
"Uh, what's up?" he asked, with as much authority as he could still muster.
Russia found what he was looking for and pulled the wide paper sheet out of the drawer with a flourish; he laid it on the desk and smoothed it out dutifully with both hands.
"You see, America," he began, drawing a deep, calming breath, "there are two Georgias ( ... )
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America winced and glared up from under him on the desk. "Russia, whatever the hell you're thinking, you should just know that Russia what are you doing get away from my neck get away from my--" the words trailed off into a stifled gasp as Russia leaned down and nipped him ever so gently, just where neck and shoulder met.
"It's simply impractical, America," he cooed, "not to be aware of your own geography." The nip turned into a kiss; America squirmed. "Why, just imagine if I did ever invade. How could you possibly be prepared to defend against me without knowing where to defend? Do stop me when I've hit Georgia," he added, moving on to a collarbone ( ... )
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Several days later, England dropped by to visit and found Russia in unusually high spirits, sitting at his desk and looking over some documents with every sign of satisfaction.
"Why, good morning, England!" He chirped, inviting him forward with a friendly beckoning hand gesture. "Have a seat! Would you care for some tea?"
"Good morning, Russia. And no, thank you," replied England, sitting down somewhat cautiously in the chair offered to him. "Er, Russia. I had a chat with America earlier this morning, and he said he'd been over to see you..."
"It's only an electric samovar, I'm afraid," Russia continued obliviously as he cradled his own cup of tea, "not very traditional. But it gets the job done, I must say."
"Yes, but Russia..."
"The old one was broken, you see, such a shame. It was so beautiful, too, 19th century craftsmanship at its best..."
"But Russia"Yes, England ( ... )
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I couldn't stop giggling and laughing and trying to stifle my laughter. This is epic stuffs, anon!
I love you for writing this <333
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Holy shit, that was badass awesome LOLEFAKLS
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ANON, YOU WIN THE INTERNETS. ALL OF THEM.
And the ending was perfect, too.
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oh god FICS LIKE THIS make me sadface at my country. Very well written though.
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Russia is instant love, and America... oh, America.
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