Re: Sick Date (2/3) FrUK
anonymous
June 13 2009, 06:14:37 UTC
Woot! Glad to see an update, and seems there's one part left.
However, I hope writer!anon wouldn't mind me pointing out a few things? The paragraphs have worked out fine though I still see that it can be worked better, for example the rather long second paragraph involving the "Big Ben".
Those dialogues could be further broken down into separate sentences instead of lumping them together. My sleepy brain had to reread it twice to figure out who is talking what. ^^;
Not OP though, but looking forward to the last part, albeit this seems to move rather quickly IMO.
writer!anon here
anonymous
June 13 2009, 06:23:55 UTC
Ah, sorry. I'm an utter noob when it comes to these things. I'm used to cluttering things into paragraphs. ^^;;;;
Thank you for the tips though and again, sorry if it's moving too quickly. To be honest, I'm not even trying. I just come here and read and sometimes fill requests. Terribly sorry. Maybe in the future I'll put some actual effort. :'D
Re: Sick Date (2/3) FrUK
anonymous
June 13 2009, 15:58:38 UTC
God I know I'm going to sound like a total arse but it's a niggle of mine. “Big Ben is a clock tower, you git!” Big Ben is actually the bell not the tower.
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However, I hope writer!anon wouldn't mind me pointing out a few things? The paragraphs have worked out fine though I still see that it can be worked better, for example the rather long second paragraph involving the "Big Ben".
Those dialogues could be further broken down into separate sentences instead of lumping them together. My sleepy brain had to reread it twice to figure out who is talking what. ^^;
Not OP though, but looking forward to the last part, albeit this seems to move rather quickly IMO.
Reply
Thank you for the tips though and again, sorry if it's moving too quickly. To be honest, I'm not even trying. I just come here and read and sometimes fill requests. Terribly sorry. Maybe in the future I'll put some actual effort. :'D
Thank you again! <3
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“Big Ben is a clock tower, you git!” Big Ben is actually the bell not the tower.
Other than that this is great.
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I hate that. >_< I hate it when people bite my cone tip as a joke.
Loved the fic though.
Sorry pet peeve. XD
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